I feel an uncertainty when it comes to you.
Not because you want to do something that will destroy what we have between us,
but because you want to hurt me.
I clearly see what actions you do,
and I ask myself why you do it?

I'm afraid you will continue doing that.
That thing I clearly see you do.
I understand why you do it,
and I understand you never mean to hurt me,
but I'm afraid you'll do it anyway.
Because regardless of whether I'm sure why you do it,
and that I'm sure you never mean anything bad,
it hurts anyway.
That you want to hurt me,
hurts.

I'm here for you.
Here to fulfill what you want.
Your needs.
If you feel inferior,
I'm still here.
Here to fulfill what you want,
your needs.
I would never leave you if you felt inferior.
But you wish me pain either way.
Make me feel what you feel.
Make me feel inferior.
And I'm afraid you'll do it again.
Show that you are better than me in some way.
Make me unsure of myself.
Doubt myself.
Even though I see it clearly.
Your actions.
Your result.

I'm left thinking and thinking:
why would you do something like that to make me feel inferior?
To make me unsure of myself?
To make me doubt myself?
When I am here for you.
Here to fulfill what you want,
fulfill your need.

There's a difference between results and consequences.

Cold as Hell,
as paradoxical as that seems,
I know I might seem humble it’s true,
even though on the down low I’ve got high self esteem,

watching Indiana Jones on the big screen,
got little time for nonsense,
even though we seem to make a big scene,

it seems,
that nothing is as it seems,
feeling like Indian Jones,
is it a *** of gold or a hill of beans,

more Jack than Jill,
more Mulder than Gillian,
and things are getting word like the X-Files,
some of the Lizard People are Chameleons,

or better yet Camillions,
money is their sun they bask in it,
on a rock in an ocean call it a continent,
not content at all with the poetic tragicness,

feeling repelled as 2 negatives,
yet as attracted as a magnet is,
anyways what’s my point,
I don’t know I suppose it depends on what your perspective is,

I just call it like I see it,
no filter unedited,
no hashtags just a hash bag,
actually I don’t even smoke that ****t,

not even a little bit,
that’s not my favorite intoxicant,
anyways I should probably get off my soapbox,
because I seems I am on a rant,

so that’s it I’m done,
heading back to my house in the clouds,
where I can write in silence,
and let me words be as loud as Hell,

cold as Hell,
as paradoxical as that seems,
I know I might seem humble it’s true,
even though on the down low I’ve got high self esteem,

watching Indian Jones on the big screen,
got little time for nonsense,
even though we seem to make a big scene,

it seems,
that nothing is as it seems,
feeling like Indian Jones,
is it a *** of gold or a hill of beans…

∆ LaLux ∆

after every massacre
by some fanaticized pathological idiot
politicians call upon their citizens
to come together
and pray for the murdered and their families

this is absolutely appropriate
also absolutely inefficient

but it seems
that ever since 9/11
the nation only comes together
AFTER more of its members have been killed

I wish very much
that the nation
   AND politicians
would come together
BEFORE  the next massacre
and take appropriate action
to prevent such disasters
in the first place