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i Dec 2014
and i die with the thought of seeing you again.
i Dec 2014
i wanna be pretty for you,
even when
my mascara runs
down my cheeks
and my lipstick
is smeared and
when my hair is tangled
and when my eyes are
bloodshot and
i'm drunk outĀ of my mind
and calling for you,
mumbling and screaming your
name at the top of
my lungs and when
i smoke my first cigarette
and the smoke that comes out
of my mouth looks so much
like you and the nicotine
runs through my veins
and the smoke clogs my lungs
just like you did
and when i look
in the bathroom mirror,
and i see you in my eyes
and i start crying
even though i hate crying
over you and i just wanna
be pretty enough for you, love.
i Dec 2014
and for the first time
this morning,
as i saw my unwanted
reflection in the mirror,
i saw you in my eyes,
on my lips, on my collarbone,
you were all over my face,
your smile shining in my pupils,
your face forever in my mind.

*oh god, what have you done to me?
i Dec 2014
you are the universe
and i'm not even a star,
your eyes like galaxies,
i'm completely lost.
i Dec 2014
and that tuesday night,
i didn't expect much,
i thought it would all
go down in falmes,
but it turned out
to go up in the sky,
and as i felt your eyes
on me, i looked up
and smiled at the stars
for having you next to me,
where you are supposed to be
and to be so fortunate,
so privileged to have your eyes
on me, so lucky to have
met your eyes and seen your smile,
because it is the most beautiful
thing i have ever seen, baby.
i Nov 2014
and i just wanna feel
your hand on my thigh,
and your lips on my neck,
and your love in my bones.
i Nov 2014
i'm sad with you,
i'm sad without you,
and i get so confused
when you look at me
with those eyes, where
all i can see are
endless galaxies,
shining stars,
midnight skies
and myself.
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