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Jan 2020 · 335
Changing rooms
Stan Jan 2020
School used to be a fun place
A place I’d meet with my friends
And we would have a good good laugh
Until the day and week ends

In school we used to have sports or PE
And the changing rooms, small and smelly
And I was scared for them to see
My big big belly

To that point were we close
And as best friends is how others would see us
But to make fun of me they chose
“Laugh with them and hold back your tears”

Now you ask why I would try to hide it
And not want to go to the pool
Well, they made me suffer and provided
For my lifetime depression, such fools

Only if you knew that I was skinny years ago
You would have thought I had no parents to feed me
But I got ill, and medicine changed me
So imperfect to you, but perfect

Years later and love is lying next to me
Saying “I love you, my bear”
I’m imperfect but perfect for love
Only if you knew, my dear
Jan 2020 · 98
Broken heart
Stan Jan 2020
I say sorry to the people
I have questioned for their sanity
When they have broken their phones
Over a lost relationship

I say sorry for taking you for weak
For exploding because of a breakup

Now I lay in my bed, only with my books
Because my chair is broken
My laptop is screenless
Our photos burnt
And my phone in pieces

Same as my heart
Jan 2020 · 192
Thank you for cheating
Stan Jan 2020
You didn’t like the smoke
So I quit smoking
You didn’t like my writing
So I stopped dreaming
You didn’t like my singing
So I was left with listening

Now you have another fool
To demolish the dreams of

I can breathe again
I smoke
I write
I sing

And I’ve lost you
But I love myself again
Jan 2020 · 124
Our time
Stan Jan 2020
Year - 365 days
Decade - 10 years
Century - 100 years

I love you - 6 months
Jan 2020 · 146
Damaged
Stan Jan 2020
You are
The damage that I needed
To open my eyes
To not trust so easily

But here I am
Months later
Calling you
To damage me again
Oct 2019 · 298
Years
Stan Oct 2019
Do you think that
Someone
Somewhere
In 300 years
Will think
Or remember
What you have done

Today
Tomorrow
Whenever

Or

Who you were
Who you loved
What you were
What you loved
Oct 2019 · 663
Him, the evil
Stan Oct 2019
He is fire
But that fire could be perfect fit for hell

Well,

don’t be tempted by the devil
Our kind of dance
would be forbidden whatsoever

Only if the devil agreed and took me to his chambers
loved me and cherished my existence

But he did not see, nor did he hear
He left me hanging to my tears
Oct 2019 · 527
Prick
Stan Oct 2019
When I told you that I dig you
You were scared and shared
That you did not want to do it
And you were at all not prepared

So why not try to diss me
And maybe it will be sometime
When I see you I feel nervous
And my anxiety escapes the undersurface

You did not ace your respective game
And let me be ashamed
My friends cheered my courage
And then felt my pain
I didn’t want to see you
Because I’d blush again

So I finally let you go

As the other devil came
And I will see when we are done
If you’ll ever come back
In the memories, in my brain
For a uni exercise
Oct 2019 · 175
Supposed to be my new evil
Stan Oct 2019
Now you are here
Tomorrow might ben ot

Make me feel like fire
Somehow want the hot
And the ignore is your desire
But to please me maybe not

Why the curly hairs drive me crazy
And the normal eyes seem like stars
Why the hands to fall in love made me
To dance this slow dance

And your anxiety drives me crazy
Makes me think the fault’s in me
But maybe I’m just the piece
You have been missing to help you
Be you

As I said, tomorrow might ben ot
And you are not here anymore

You said you were scared
And wouldn’t let me in
But that’s the problem
Your soul is screaming

It’s your wish and you do you
But let me in
Let me in
Oct 2019 · 407
My favourite kind of Wine
Stan Oct 2019
It started with wine
But then ended with cuddles

It should have lasted for a while
But ended in struggles

The spark is still there
And I still call him mine

We still have a lot to share
And he still is
My favourite kind of wine
Oct 2019 · 255
Desire towards not normal
Stan Oct 2019
Why
Did you pick me
To give the desire to
And watch me
Getting hated for

Why
Could you not give me
What you gave
Them

Why
Would you think
I would be better
The way
I am

But I am
Oct 2019 · 719
21st
Stan Oct 2019
The fire
And the warmth
The people
That make me
Happy

What you can
Call home
Are the ones
You call
Family
Oct 2019 · 1.1k
Online Dating
Stan Oct 2019
You’re swiping and swiping
Just to find the one
But no one reacts
And there comes the sun

A sleepless night
Maybe two
Just so you can find
The one meant for you

And notifications appear
“You’ve got a new match”
And you get excited
Finally
My feelings can get attached

Oh boy, is he the one
The chats get longer
Oh boy, is he the one
And the feelings
Stronger

But of course then he says
Let’s go out
And are you a top or a bottom
or what?

And you feel alone again
As you wanted something new
And not just the D
Hello again, pain

But, then again, you swipe and swipe
Hopeless to find
The one of a kind

— The End —