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Mar 2021 · 1.2k
Craving
Juniper Mar 2021
Why am I so quick to crave death?

When things get difficult
And my world spins

I haven't truly suffered
Not nearly enough

Even so
My body aches to be still

To stop entirely

I crave the silence and peace
That comes with a grave

Despite this I persist
Like a **** through the sidewalk cracks

Ever growing

Craving the sunlight
Jul 2020 · 380
in the moment
Juniper Jul 2020
it’s dark
storming, loud
the rain spatters my windshield
leaves me nearly blind

i don’t see the blur
sandy brown fur, beady glowing eyes
until i hit it head on
my life flashes

on the side of the road
fading out in the ditch
i stare at the beast
in this moment, we are one in the same
driving in the rain at night scares me
Apr 2020 · 164
Tonight
Juniper Apr 2020
I stood on the bridge
Head dangling over the side
With dark waters below

I thought hard

So hard that my head started to spin
So hard that I couldn't breathe

And then I did nothing

I could have taken the plunge
All it would have took is a little step
A small push

But I didn't

I don't know if it was fear or willpower
That made me walk away

And somewhere in the back of my head
It felt like cowardice

I thought it was going to end

But tonight, I survived
it's been hard.
Apr 2019 · 183
I thought I was drowning
Juniper Apr 2019
As I was falling asleep
I opened my eyes

And suddenly it felt like the darkness
Was encroaching on me

Threatening to swallow me whole

I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t think
i thought i was going to drown
Mar 2019 · 366
Breathe
Juniper Mar 2019
I can feel anxiety gripping my stomach

Clawing it’s way into my chest cavity

I can’t breathe
Jan 2019 · 409
I am not myself
Juniper Jan 2019
My body doesn’t feel like my own
It feels as foreign as the forest
Empty and quiet
Unsure of the way back home

My conscious feels distorted
Warped beyond my belief
Balancing on my frontal lobe
Threatening to fall

My limbs feel like tattered branches
Clinging desperately to the trunk
Only the bark is so thin and frail
That it can barely support even itself

I am not myself anymore
i don’t feel like myself lately
Dec 2018 · 226
I Can’t Stop
Juniper Dec 2018
I can’t stop thinking about you

About the way you laugh

The way you squeal at the sight of fuzzy kittens

Or the way your cheeks dimple when you smile

You’re always on my mind

You were the light at the end of the hall

Assuring me that no matter how dark my days will be

You’ll be there to shine on them

But you don’t really feel the same, do you?

Not anymore, at least

I think our sparked died out

Flickered from our existence

But I still can’t stop thinking about you

Even though I know you’re not thinking about me
missing people *****
Dec 2018 · 468
Never Enough (A haiku)
Juniper Dec 2018
I had told myself

You will never be enough

Until it was true
why is all my poetry so sad? why am i so sad???
Dec 2018 · 766
Tourist
Juniper Dec 2018
I
    have learned that depression knows no bounds,
Don’t
     let it get too close. You can never
Know
     just when it will sweep you off your feet next, or
Who
    it will take away from you.
I
    have learned from experience that I
Am
    simply a tourist in my own head.
i don't know who i am
Dec 2018 · 1.7k
You Could
Juniper Dec 2018
You look at a person
A stranger, a loved one, a partner
And you think;
How can one person be so beautiful?
Inside and out you see an aura of unimaginable beauty
A friendly face
An intoxicating laugh
A smile that makes you smile without even realizing it

And then you look at yourself
You hate the way you smile, all crooked and mouthy
The way your cheeks are too pudgy
Your glasses too big for your face
Your voice too soft to break through the chatter of others

But you
You are a lion whose voice is booming thunder
With claws that can tear through the veil
The one you’ve kept yourself shrouded in for too long
You should be proud
Proud of your wild and unruly mane
Proud of your scars earned from battles with many others
Not to mention the battles you wage on yourself
You could move mountains and uproot trees if you tried

But you don’t
You look at yourself
Your cheeks too pudgy
Glasses too big
Voice kept under lock and key
Vocal chords dusty with disuse
Your heart is so big and so beautiful
You see so much in everyone else
But can’t bear to see anything in yourself

You are a wild flower sprouting through the cracks in the sidewalk
You could move mountains and uproot trees if you tried
please be gentle on me i haven't written anything in so long

— The End —