post a picture of a cop and they say **** em hoes see a man with alot of guap and they gon **** him post pictures of your ***** for a 100 likes ******* and ***** is a rich mans night kids all go to bed wake up with cold sweats moms strung out on the pain pills again will it ever end god will you send someone to fight off all of this dark energy lately only finding release in xanex and Hennessy satan i need a minute scratch that make it 3 when you think you got it hard look at you neighbor but lately I only talk to myself and I broke all my mirrors gun to my head time for bed or more meds walls of my home filled with my prescription it's a hollow tip clip that gets constant refilling end it all or buy a gold chain and sell my self for 15 minutes of fame but **** the fame because i'd rather uphold my integrity instead of selling my soul to be a celebrity so excuse me while I waste away smoking this ****

The scariest thing I've ever seen is a piece of blank paper sitting in front of me
It's presence haunting my thoughts in a way
will I write something good
what if it's terrible
However every time I find the words and the sentences that follow
usually in the early morning hours my mind tells me what to write
The inspiration as vivid and striking like a red dress on a summer afternoon
I can feel the heat starting to com bust as I rush to type every word before it's forgotten
the words written the title chosen now I wait and let the public be the judge

drip drop goes the red sea from the gorge of empathy flowing free and abstract to the origin masonry where the crystals build and the red wine spills where the homeless are rich and the sheltered diminish where the heat cools and welcomes snow and the cold brings sweating and a feverish vampire glow where we learn zombies are not the dead but the living faking a smile and serenity is a feeling found somewhere in the mild drip drop flows the river do we dare to cross

love me or hate me you can never recreate me for I am one of a kind knowing that we are all made to die and that the love we had was more like a fad because with the change of the season came your change of heart and finally what killed me was your reason I read the message over and over again convinced myself it was treason but no here we sit weeks later and nothing has changed I've lost myself  and you've pushed forward with a plan that has no place for me anymore but in agony I'll remain to wish you luck because to leave is suicide because no matter how broken my heart is my love for you won't give up because when I said through thick and thin I meant it  i'll be here for you whether were lovers or friends

forgive them father they know not what they've done they have traded your book for money used for guns to fund there wars condemning their eyes only granting their comfort in ****** leaving them to sleep from woman to woman craving to fill an emptiness inside subconsciously begging for words from the wise forever searching for a meaning in life slitting their own throats because of lack of purpose and a lust to know what it truly means to die feast your eyes on a systematic bee hive stinging and attacking everything they see desperate to hold on to the possessions of their being

I've fallen in love faster than a man falling from one hundred and seventy stories
In a way I relate every time my heart has tried to grab the last step I slip and fall below into the abyss
I am the no hitter the strikeout king
every time love comes round they shut it down
life's a funny thing maybe one day she'll come around
I won't turn sour over what's not in my power
Instead water my soul and further my growth
Such a sad soul I've become as I grow old
tired I am of that tune in my gut
where it stabs you deep and makes your heart start to rot
I lay awake in a daze my eyes are black and red
With a big grin on my face I smile for once at the thought of change
champagne rains down from the heavens as I slip out of conscious
life is but a lion testing to you tame it

I miss you
The way you paint words on my chest with a heart stealing smile
How your lips feed my spirit and your body feeds me bliss
I miss you
How you used to call me when you missed me and how passionate you kissed me
rest your feelings on me and let's get to know each other all over
let me rub your stomach under the covers let's get closer to each other
rub your fingers thru your hair no judgement only acceptance here
I miss you
I feel like your the mother of my seed but we never conceived
I miss you
like a warm spring rain your scent intoxicates me making me crave more
Like a harsh winter storm is the absence in between
I miss you
In the part where my soul is still pure

I dreamed of an abyss searing red scaring my flesh and choruses of screams like mine individually they tell of the wicked lives they lived together they tell a story of how we were ****** from the start i try not to scream i try to remain silent and unnoticed by the endless dismal barren pit the red now revealed to be flames increase and screams of pain agony and sorrow flood out uncontrollably tears evaporate as soon as they leave my eyes where am i what is this abyss is it my final resting place i hear a scream unlike all the rest not one of pain or self reflection but of shear pleasure i am in flames but my body goes ice cold i am in pain but can no longer scream what is this abyss from my mind it will not dismiss

I could preach to you and you to me about how there's a paradise awaiting you and me but it would only be lies the world is **** that can't be saved from just one human sacrifice and that complacency is holy and independence is the devil I don't know about you but I'll die a rebel

Poets** were put on this earth to suffer because without it where would our thoughts come we thrive under hard times when life leaves you breathing nothing but sulfur but when in serenity we find we finally unwind and calm our troubled minds until the rug is pulled from under our feet down back to the deep we venture writing of sorrow surviving for the serenity to return to our world again

nothing but a ******* son
obsessed with my own death but the first to run
on a road to self destruction
school is to drool because I never stay awake
and love is to self because it's the only kind that isn't fake
wake is to bake the only times where I don't hate myself
life is a strife where everything feels perfect when nothings alright
death is what comes next because time never has the time to enjoy the light
drugs give the warmest hugs but when they leave make you feel so unloved
alcohol is to diet because how else do I keep this weight off
a blank mind feels so kind
ignorance I wish was mine
only blind men have clean souls
dreams are haunting because they feel real and right until I wake up to the afternoon light
****** and alone I laugh at everything but feel so alone

Gun pointed to my head
Is it time to die or just time for bed
The barrel gives me goodnight kisses and the alcohol is a bed time story
Every night doing inventory in my mind wondering if I should do it
If most people saw this they'd shudder in fear
But I'm not worried
I want this I pray for this
If I finish my story tonight would anyone cry why won't you be mine how do you really feel inside
tick tock goes the clock and ring it has struck 12
The day has begun
I throw the gun to the floor
Another night gone another day come
leaving me here longer to rot in a burning world

you and me
me and you
SERENITY my hearts in bloom
INDEPENDENT you left me
DEPENDENCY you were the air to my hearts blossom that is dying
VISIONARY the images of you that will forever haunt and torture my soul
DEATH the art of letting go
REINCARNATION the art of rebuilding one's soul

I'd sell my soul for one more call but this ******* cancer has stolen them all I prayed and pleaded but god did you hear me I've begged and cried but you just let them die how could you forsake such strong believers in their hour of need my loved ones lived a lie following your deceit how can I stand as a man knowing we all must die one day well I don't know I'm not an atheist I swear but why why does every time I need you to save someone your just never there

Today I walked among the rocks and the trees and I felt a divine presence I stopped at the cliff and stared at the lake below me and it slowly turned into blood red flames and I heard the screams of the ****** and all the ******* children that wouldn't bow and then there was silence as I couldn't see him I felt the heat radiate from his essence and he whispered you don't have to burn kneel and my feet and surrender and you won't have to suffer and I screamed how can you torture those that you claim to love is that the meaning of a loving god I will never serve under your tyranny and with that he was gone but the lake of fire was still present and It was starting to spread unafraid I let myself fall from the cliff without any regrets after all heaven is no place for a ******* son like me

I hate my reflection for when I see the dark circles under my eyes from the rest thoughts of you have stolen from me at night or the hollow face I wear  sometimes comes a plastic smile when others see me but alone I wear the nothingness I feel inside and I lie to myself and say i'll get over you in due time so now I sit back against the wall I recollect all of our memories together and it only makes me feel small like a vanishing act vanishing like a *Cheshire Cat

i met a girl she looked so beautiful and when she spoke it was so chemical she said hi my name is cigarette one kiss of me and you'll love to hate me to death the conversation done she said lets have some fun and that was about 25 kisses ago
she promised to always love me
she promised to always be there
but now shes taking all my money telling me life's not fair
so now i'm picking her up from a gas station tonight even though i know she'll be gone before the morning light i don't know why i put up with her but i know i cant break up with her we constantly fight over my choices in life i know i can't win so i just kiss her again further into despair i go
i make pleads baby why do you do this to me
cancer doesn't sound so pretty
her only reply is we all gotta die might as well die from me
she travels with me everywhere i go i can't help it over this decision i lack control
She promised to love me even when i'm low but i just kissed her for the last time and i need to go buy more
i know that shes killing me i guess its alright as long as i can afford her ill be just fine because when my funds are low and without her i'm forced to go i just lose my mind
i hate i hate you so much but i love i love you too much to let you go i've signed away my fate with you i will stay until into the grave i go

I've fallen in love with 90's cinema
Where movies looked real and not too HD
The nostalgia of being taken back to that time
Is more then divine
scenes were not CGI
and the make up was not over the top
the message uncensored  
whether offensive or not the movie won't stop
and you see the times how they've changed from uncompromising film making to watered down plots with only stunts to amaze
From reflecting after a movie to not thinking at all
I'm just reflecting that's all

come thru
we can dance with no light other then the stars and the moon
silky smooth  wine my hand on your thighs smiles galore hearts adore
I'm sorry I was a *****
It was just sarah I swear and we did when she was still wearing her underwear so that can't count can it
love is a game of chance they say I'm sorry I used the cheat code that made you runaway
Come thru
just don't stay away your presence feeds my soul and stops my minds war on it self I swear to god I should pray and get medicated how I could just get such a queen like a dollar store clown I could only make you frown unfaithful issues and vacant pocket motels
come thru
I'm feeling good and I miss the way your body felt on the hood of my car that night after the bar when we swore we could get far and kids thought they would get to exist
Come thru
Dancing in the rain trying like a pastor to heal your pain without a pill hard to do purely as friends too much *** appeal hit my confession box and I'll be sure to hit every spot bless and kiss appreciate what I don't wanna lose
so what can we do cuddle,****,fight ENOUGH
your upset that I can't say I do but if I say that I'd have to get my life on track

Yelling at the TV feeling so small
Another loved one dead why don't you just take them all
one by one we die
but in support groups we cry we all have pain in life
but no one truly gets it at all I just sit so alone and small
everyone says I can come to them anytime
but it's not their problem they don't wanna here me whine
so I choose to sit and decay don't let anyone see me today I've buried myself in everything that's bad for my health  and I don't want them to be disgusted with me
so let me sit
let me rot
everyone's gonna die so why not me
just let the rest of my family be
please please please!
STOP STOP STOP
take me instead take me instead
if I had a choice she'd be alive and id be dead

I had a dream once Like a parasite hope drilled into me infecting everything I did my dreams held my head high the self doubt in myself my worst enemy sadness  beheaded me before I had a foundation for the life I envisioned for myself broken and hopeless drinking and smoking my favorite coping methods for the void inside when I awake I pray for a heart attack to take me from the suffering burrowed inside of me knowing my passion and dreams have long since died solace in knowing we all die and nothing truly matters anyway we paint our lives to the point were destroyed when it all falls apart there are millions of stars lighting up the sky but only 88 constellations the dream is dead and hope is a lie

It was the abortion or new tattoo
so I smiled when I said this is what I want when I gave the artist a picture of you

come reverence of the mothers soil hacked and drained away by the descendants ego plundering and breaking in their conquest of their hearts to fill the eternal emptiness killing in the name of purpose the mother Gaia is decaying as we pay no mind and go thru our day she bleeds eternally bearing the pain and scars of humanly hate she cries out in pain sons and daughters listen do not continue this way i supplied your way of life is this how you repay please don't do this anymore my body is beginning to break  but the fires are already lit the pyre set the funeral for mother Gaia will be one to never forget for without Gaia there is nothing and without us theirs nothing to be missed

Every fast food employee that has been there close to a year is depressed
If they are not its because they have things going for them
But if not they are depressed simply because they're working a dead end job while they are trying to support a family or there lives are lost in a limbo like state revolving around a dead end job At every second they clock in and the thought burns holes in their head
Am I gonna die here?
Am I already dead and this is my time in purgatory?
Will I rot away working here selling every waking moment of my life here
Is it really all worth it on payday
but still they continue to work and converse among each other each one secretly trapped in the hell of their own thoughts

Like an Olympic figure skater she elegantly twirls around the pole
her movements flow together like a rushing stream
However her presence is like that of a mountain
Unapologetic
she climbs and twists on the pole as if it was and extra limb
telling the emotion of the song with such beauty
bearing a smile worth more than diamonds matched with a heart of gold
Fearless
Shes eternally in love with herself so she moves without hesitation
Like a hurricane she crashes thru each movement  destroying any doubt or bad vibes
She is an elegant, unapologetic,  woman of class
spreading kindness to all she meets
loving every step of the way

four chords is all it takes four chords and I escape
four chords I feel awake
four chords and I feel nothing but heartache

Destruction
Despair
Cut my hair
life isn't fair
but no one cares
forgiveness is foreign
to those unaware of the beauty
reincarnation

God bless america land of the free
God bless america where we take away your rights and give you an STD
God bless america where it's citizens hate there homeland
God bless america the country that takes the world and tries to play dad
God bless america where sin is welcomed in
America there is no god bless because your doing away with him

Lay me down to rest the bullet holes like goodnight kisses fill my chest
is this a dream or a reality because I am too blind to see please answer me my heart beat starts to fail is there anymore will power left in me? was the hell you dragged me through that consuming is it my spirit and soul I surrendered to the wind when I picked a fight with the demons I have locked within or was it the drugs I stole to fill my emptiness not to worry the angry dealer found me with a 12 gauge and he didn't miss so as the bullets exit my body I see the image of an old math teacher saying
*class dismissed

To tired to sleep
To heartbroken to weep
I could care less if I got gunned down in the street
I've lost all my hope
lord knows its toxic with the ways I cope
how did it become such a downward *****
used to smoke jays and laugh the day away
Now I smoke jays to make the hangover go away
my mental state varies day by day from drinking til I get sick
To smoking myself onto a crucifix
All my grey days now I'm sober thinking about how I'm doing nothing but getting older
the plan was to always be a soldier
the reality is I smoke **** go to work  wonder why I don't just hang myself progressing nowhere
So sick of myself I wanna rip out my hair
So much potential they say I had
Shame it's all been wasted just a **** up like his dad
A grunge song comes on the radio and I feel every cord build hands from my heart beat and strangled me
I let myself stop breathing even though nothings really happening
I listen to the song and drift into the empty space inside my head
Finally I gasp for air while the song begins to fade out
WASTED POTENTIAL

Don't pray for my soul when I die
Only that there be few tears from my mothers eyes
A ****** of crows can I look like doves in the night
so why fear death having no knowledge  of the other side

Life is forever fleeting we spend it burning ourselves out to get further ahead only to get on top to wind up dead
That what doesn't  **** you  is impossible to love

just because you have a degree it makes you no smarter then me
just because you have no ink on your skin that doesn't make you clean of sin
just because you have white skin it doesn't make you better then anyone
just because you can quote the bible your still far from a prophet
just because you wear a suit in no way are you better then a fast food worker
just because your bank account has 6 digits that doesn't make you above the law
just because your homeless with no place to sleep that doesn't make you worthless
just because you work fast food that doesn't make you unmotivated
just because of the way you look that doesn't make you evil
just because you feel empty that doesn't mean this is the end
just because you take a different path that doesn't make you a failure

were so sacrilegious
with the tabs we take
were so sacrilegious
we wanna dance and play
WEre so sacrilegious
come and have a taste
take a tab transport to to the higher realms
Palm trees smile in the violet dance sunset
the fun's not done yet
WEre sacrilegious in all we do
Were gonna go to hell but I just can't stay away from you
tick tick tick

all alone staring at the moon
my brain is bleeding my eyes misleading
standing in the middle of the street my soul is consumed and washed in the blood of the moon
I sob oceans and dry the high tide from my eyes even though I haven't shed a tear
my head is cloudy but my thoughts are crystal clear enough to cut diamonds with just a glance
Passionate, Purposeful, determined
all things I was and all things I'm not
Lover,Dreamer,Jaded
used to be 2/3 now it's 1/3
nothing should be the same everything must change

what is life
It's cancer
that's it that's all
Cancer the killer of us all
it kills with one motive
**** us all
from black and white
Jews and gentiles alike
Cancer rips our species apart
like a thief in the night
Tearing families to shreds
the cure not found
gods genocidal wrath
millions in the grave
Contained not cured
Cancer
The consequence for poisoning the earth

Love me like you do
Stab me through and through
I know I shouldn't long for you
But my heart still longs for you
I've run out of things to do
It's been 4 months and I'm still not over you
So love me like you do
Stab me through my heart so I can feel close to you
The tears I cry tonight fall  like roses on a grave
I guess it's time to say goodbye
It's long past the last dance of the masquerade
Like bullets from a gun we ended with a sudden bang

Lost in the catacombs I wander aimlessly searching for a purpose yet only finding dark corridors and broken bones of the dead
I am jaded
I wonder
Did the dead ascend to the sky or are they trapped here in the catacombs to lie
I am jaded
These are my thoughts as I sleep
The catacombs forever eating away my mind
Soon to death I'll give my last breath once I find an end and a purpose
I awake and the dream ends

Lets just be honest and say what we are
Were lonely broken hearts telling ourselves everyday life gets better while it only gets worse
the closet I've come to church in 3 years has been brief pieces of heaven gone before morning
let's be honest were just going to catch feelings **** and delete each others numbers because that's the kind of hallow people we've become
starving for love yet never accepting it until it's too late
forever staring at heavy metal questioning to push the pedal and let the brain matter stain the ceiling
alas we'd never to much at stake to meet an untimely fate
how can you coexist to my hunger to be great
when my ambition is at stake
Every night I lay awake killing myself over what I can't change
I don't know how to love myself so asking me to love you is so foreign

I lost the plot
it vanished into a blank empty mind
the wheels of it never to roll never at all
without it the story never moves on
and we look on till the end of time

we stay up late in everlasting love sharing laughs and tears
she is my love she doesn't mind
I chain smoke cigarettes
She says I'll quit in due time
she makes everything blue turn grand
I have stupid friends but she pays them no mind
says I'm out growing them with time
I talk too much but she doesn't think I whine
I wanna **** myself but she says nirvana will come in time
She's gone when I awake leaving me lonely laying in the bed I've made
The moon is what I love inspiring me to chase the reincarnation she has above I romance a planet in the sky because just like me every morning has she die

Hello midnight we meet again my distasteful friend my lack of sleep is killing me but the contents of my mind bring together our embrace every night this pattern holds no end in sight so I sit here writing criticizing myself in a way no one else can or wants to be criticized themselves I rip my mental apart with each passing thought praying that I wasn't put on this earth to rot my eyes are bloodshot and the positive serenity that I crave and want back with me will not let me keep it's presences but midnight is always a comfort to me it tells me of an assured bad morning and another emotionless dazed and confused day

the rain falls on my face and slowly I awaken its dark but the lightning unveils the raging sea in the distance. I drank too much again. When I have too much to drink I feel like god when he stared at the earth as it flooded powerful in the most violent angry way. I can feel the left side of my face swelling up making it hard to see out of my left eye. Everything was going fine til I saw you across the bar with him. The look I saw in your eyes taught me multiplication faster then any teacher ever could. One shot was replaced for two every twenty minutes. Before my mind catches up with my body I'm next to you saying an awkward hello sizing up your new man. The rage makes me white hot to the touch and my mouth shoots out sly remarks like machine guns.  The next thing I remember I was staring at the ceiling. I guess that's the cost of loving the daughter of the most powerful mob boss in Miami. You kiss me on the cheek and tell me you wish me the best and like that your leaving with him. I lay there motionless praying to a silent god that the void would absorb me and end my agony. However nothing happens I get up dust myself off and leave to avoid further embarrassment. Parked around back is my old excuse of a car 96 corolla. like an eye sore I spot my car I get in only to spot him again . This time I can hardly believe my eyes she's hitting him and screaming at him. I try to make out the words but they're to far away. The rages begins to stir away to a boiling point when he smacks her across the face.  like a bull seeing red I explode and like that I'm out of the car charging him yelling the drunken battle cry of anyone about to get knocked out on the by the beach. I charge like a lion and like a poacher he ready's himself. I feel my knuckles explode as my hand greets his cheek. He sends a deadly left hook at my ribs before falling to the ground. I continued to attack him til he stopped moving and the look in your eyes you gave me was pale white. Looking down at what was now a dead man I ***** everywhere and run away. I don't look back I run straight to my beat down apartment and prepare for the worse. Clockwork really before its six in the morning five guys with guns show up and break my door down. With a butcher knife in hand I run for the back door only to feel the crescendo of bullets entering my body. I fall to the ground and think about what you said.
"I'll never hurt you"

Tie tied tight like a noose and a suit like restraints shoes are the shackles and the hair cut because uniqueness is a crime this is the civil society of today where the same make bank and the strange journey down the walk of shame

I am more then the shirt I wear
I am more then the skin I'm stuck in
I am more then my trials
I am a living person
I am just a simple man pen always in hand
I am a visionary even though sometimes my vision goes blurry
I am more then what you judge from what you see

Mary,Mary Jane is that you leaving ashes by my window...oh wait that was nicki...I'm sorry I forgot your much more stable and less self destructive...I forgot that you never leave my bedside like a bible...bringing me spiritual awakening or curing self denial...holding me close having me feeling safe and secure...but most of all loved and like my skin is pure...you open my eyes to the beauty simple things hold in life...until you fade away...and reality steps in the way

I think my greatest fear in this life is that i'll always end up alone
It's a shallow fear I can't control
what do you expect when all my self love has bled from my eyes
I've never been good enough facts don't lie
stuck in a slump ****** and quiet
I move like a monk in a riot failing to get thru
I'm not holding my breath but I can feel my face go blue
the thought of being alone cripples me at night
but like an iphone in an android house it's not easy to connect
Fear of Failure
Fear of Rejection
keep me in place for all time eating away at my brain decaying my mind
alone forever happiness never

the lake was set a blaze as the forest around it cried for salvation
The fire infecting each tree with cannibalistic like nature like a plague its continues to spread unchecked the howls and crackles from the horde of destruction defiant to the millions of post cards around the world of perfect places so would the blaze become known but for a warning not a smile even a small lighter can burn the world

I am the boy that chased the butterfly off the end of the world
unafraid I jumped with all my might to grab the butterfly out of the sky
Just out of reach it continues to fly while I watch it fade as I plummet to the void below
I fall for what feels like days the blood all but filled inside my head pulls me further down with atom bomb like speed
I await my demise at the bottom and my eyes ard rolling to the back of my head
Like that  it clicks I see myself at baseball practice and in the next instance my lips tastes the bittersweet lipstick of my first kiss
I must be dead
the memories continues to past thru my brain as the feeling of falling fades
finally gasping for air I wake up on the ground
naked however unbothered
Standing on a crater staring at the stars
I start to cry and diamonds stream from my eyes into the everlasting sky
I watch the stars and wait for my time to reappear

I approach the bridge as the cool California air gives me one last bitter sweet kiss I stare down at the ocean below the way people eye
the stars at night  
"soon" I tell my self as my mind races back to happy times
In that moment I almost walk away but the thought passes when I check my phone and the butterflies begin to build to the point my chest feels like its about to burst open
how did it come to this you with him and once again me all alone
the white hot flame of sadness has been ignited and raindrops erupt from my eyes
  I turn and look away from the water one last time and for a second i just watch all the cars drive by thinking about how many with spend their night arguing with a spouse or playing with their kids
I smile though I may not experience this myself the idea that I might brings a dismal smile to my face as I climb the railing of the bridge I smile big with tears sprinting down my cheeks  and with that I let go like a falcon about to ****** it's prey I fall racing to the blue concrete impact to shatter my bones