Wake up early
Do things that make you happy
In hopes they make you happy

Push them out
Not down
If they are out they might come back
But if their down they can only come out

In time you will forget
And they will forget
And it will just be another
Forgotten

Wake up early
Do things that make you happy
Until they make you happy

Faces in gloom
It may be Monday morning but it's not hell
Will my lips ever stretch near my ears again?
Not until I can see the grass
Not until I have no tears
Not until I am in his arms
But what if
What if when
I can see the grass
I have no tears
And I am in his arms
My lips continue to not stretch near my ears

Anxiety
It's the first day of the new semester
All new classes
The second I woke up "will you know anyone? What if people think you're weird? What if you have to sit alone at lunch?"
I finally get to school a half hour early and wonder the halls so I don't have to be awkward sitting in the first class longer than usual
The bell rings
I walk to that second class already knowing someone in there decreases my worry
The bell rings
The bell rings
I get to math knowing this is the class we go to lunch with and if I don't know anyone then I'm doomed
I see someone I know, 2, 3 people
But then she comes in
The one person at the school whom I had a falling out with
And of course she is friends with those 1, 2, 3 people
More than I am
I'm practically a wreck walking to lunch thinking
"Should I just sit in the bathroom? What if I can't find anyone?"
I walk around awkwardly until I see a familiar face that I just sit by to lower the anxiety
Bell rings
Finally 5th hour
A class with no worry
Four people I know
Just then I remember
We get in groups of four
What if they exclude me
Then what

Even though it's only been a day since we've kissed and an hour since we've talked there are still tears in my eyes and a pit in my soul because I miss you
I ******* miss you

I was born with skin stars and you were too
If you need two perfect people
Just look at me and you

I think the fog is beautiful
With its undying haze
But it's causing me sorrow
When I think I see your face

It's only been 8 hours
But I still long for your kiss
I don't know how to react anymore
I've never had emotions like this

I have the thickest of skins
And I have my whole life
So don't stab me in the back
Unless you want a broken knife

I look in the mirror, but I see a stranger.
Sure, I put on makeup and clothes everyday all the while looking to make sure it looks good.
But I see the eyes I put eye shadow on, and the arms I put sleeves on.
I don't think I actually see the person as a whole.
I don't see the girl in the mirror anymore, and I wonder why.
I see red lips and bright eyes, but if you open her up there is no soul, no heart.
But I also wonder if it's always been like this, it just took me time to notice it. Which would be quite as sad.
But if this whole time I've looked in the mirror, I've seen a stranger, then that makes me,
Nothing.

I walk to clear my head
But at times it mostly fills it
I abuse my soul and body
So I've learned to take a hit
The cold air swirls through my lungs
As if a tornado of ice
I am my own trigger
Bleeding from psychological slice
I've learned to put down the blade
But my words have a mind of their own
I've tried to kick them out
But they know my head is their home
The mirror is just as much to blame
Telling me what I don't want to hear
Knowing that the sight of food
Will flood my conscience with fear
Every calorie is more weight
Which will never be cute
Like how a gun isn't a weapon
Without a blazing bullet to shoot
Nothing is ever perfect
And I know better than that
But I can be the closest thing to it
By getting rid of all this fat
No food, just empty water
Doing this every day by day
And I'm completely fine
If this is how I fade away.

They'll check your wrists
But not your thighs
They'll check your smile
But not your eyes
They'll avoid the truth
Believe the lies
Assume your head's
Filled with butterflies

This mattress feels like my back is on top of boulders
These sheets wrinkles are like two by fours in my shoulders
The stinging in my eyes makes them hard to open but hurt to close
My mouth like sandpaper from my throat all through my nose
My heart beat as steady as the long breaths I take
You can feel your thighs quiver as your wrists begins to shake
Fingers numb in ice burgs, but palms sweat from inferno
Stomach cringes from the drop but nothing left to show
My mind lied, Imagining my neck slowly closing tightly
You wouldn't think that this occurs nightly
I feel my bones crack as my cells die second by second without pause
But then again there is always that single strike of pain without cause
An alarm clock running through my head without a single snooze
The ringing I can't stop, but my control I can easily lose
Knees and elbows as ridged as the sound of my teeth chatter
Lips blue, skin pale, in constant fear that i may shatter

"Please don't"
You cry as the blood spills
That knife in your throat
Feels worse than the pills

The ones you took
For all those years
Will never suppress
The flow of tears

"Don't cry"
His whisper blocks the light
Senses weakening
But the words still bite

Sight a blur
But you can still see his face
Stained in your memory
Death turns to a race

His smile widens
With your last gasp
He leans in close with a
"You're not the last."

While going for a walk through a pretty bare trail I came across a blooming white flower. Let me remind you, it's the middle of April after the worst winter in a decade and the most snow Michigan has ever received. Anyways, while witnessing this white flower I felt the need to speak and connect with it.
So I spoke to the flower in a desperate tone saying "please, little white flower, teach me your ways." Knowing it wouldn't respond I continued. "How can you bloom so beautiful surrounded by this?" "Surrounded by brown and gray you blossom with pearl. I cannot bloom as bright in a world full of brightness, yet you bloom brighter in your world or darkness." I think for a moment though. "Maybe my world is as dark, if not darker. And your message to me is to see beyond the naive. To come out stronger when everyone else Is under the brush, to speak even louder when the others stay hushed."

But the thing is, this little white flower was just born to bloom first, born to be white, just born in the marsh to be ignored.
Yet as humans we try our hardest to change who we are to get noticed, an still don't.
Now I think that says something.

Kiss my neck
Leave your mark on my skin
Breathe in my ear
And show me the right way to sin

Hold me close
And intertwine our fingers
Tell me your dreams
And let your words linger

Put your head on my chest
And listen to the beat
Overlap your legs with mine
I don't mind your cold feet

You could be pushed against me
And I would still pull you in
Even with my eyes closed
I can still feel your grin

Now it's 2am
And I'm lying in bed
The idea of you and me
Has been tattooed in my head

I am emotionless
Okay?
Sadness turns our features not to porcelain
But clay

It's amazing when you talk about love
What people have to say
But love has fangs 
with jaws that bite

And the punctures 
never go away

I've been torn up, stepped on,
ripped apart
Left around in shreds
All From the start

It is a mess
What is considered a "heart"
Mine is mangled and mashed
And punctured by a dart

You didn't care about me
But I didn't care about you too
If there was a blanket of affection
You'd see mine straight through

We weren't meant to me
And that I knew
But if you need someone to blame
I'd still say it was you

I will continue on
With my undying passion
And will continue to smile
Because I contain no compassion

I must find a new house
This one is getting old
I forgot to clean a mess
So now the energy is cold

I must find my new girl
Blonde hair blue eyes
She must not get away
I'll have to tighten the ties

From my truck to the kitchen
Everything in fine
Until you awaken
And realize you are mine

That is when you panic
And try to scream or yell
Little do you notice
You've already entered hell
I live for sight of pain
And will do what I have to
To see your eyes roll backwards
And witness your lips turn blue

I will use whatever device
That brings you the most tears
So you will not forget my face
And I will haunt your fears

Even my touch stings your skin
Imagine how my knife feels
You may cry all you want
But I do not make deals

There is a reason you were chosen
And I am not giving you away
All my senses pointed to you
Which is why you're now my prey

You keep trying to fight back
But that just makes it worse
For I cannot heal your wounds
Because I am not a nurse

I regret the way you died
I didn't mean to stab your heart
It's been 5 weeks and some sewing
But you are still falling apart

I left the house today
I will get over you, but when?
Hey, Blonde hair blue eyes
There you are again

It's 11 at night on a Sunday and you fell asleep almost 2 hours ago but you're still all I can think about
I want to text you but I don't want to wake you
Because I know you didn't get sleep last night
I want to tell you how much I love you and already miss you, how happy you make me, or how much you make me laugh
Which I love
I want to tell you how much I love your touch
From you holding my hand, grabbing my body, to slapping my face
Because I know what's behind it
I live my life with everything having a meaning behind it
And nothing going unnoticed
I notice how your mood changes when I scratch your beard or wrap my arms around you
I notice how you close your eyes before I do when we kiss because at that very moment
Only our lips matter
I can tell when you're too tired to have a conversation but attempt anyways because you don't want me to feel bad
I can feel your hot breath escape your lungs
When I touch just the right spot
I see that your stubborn but not stubborn enough to continue an "I love you more" fight because you're just glad to be loved
And I continue because I want you to feel
Loved
Because you are,
And always will be

The world is rough
Yes we get shoved and kicked
But always manage to stand back up
But why?
Why don't we stay down?
Wouldn't it just make things easier?
But we like to make things harder
Don't we?
The world doesn't make sense, so why should I write poetry that does?

I write poems
But I've learned throughout
That you are lied to through poetry
Depression is not romantic, that cigarette smoke is not art, it is smoke that represents your slow earning death. Girls don't always cry over boys, there aren't as many sleepless nights as people say, and drugs don't always make the pain go away.
Yes, maybe you did love him and felt the need to express that through sonnets, but after a while, you'll move on, stuck with that reminder that you thought you loved that dirt bag.
We need poetry that not only speaks to the growing generation but the grown,
To the ones who still have night terrors at 35 or sit in coffee shops looking for their lives
To the ones that blame us but forgot who raised us
We need poetry that shouts and cries when we've ran out of breath because the gods know we will
Oh we will
And when that happens we will need words
with emotions like the ones in our hearts now
So speak while you can, write poetry and stories until your hands hurt
Keep scribbling and sketching until there are no more tears on your shirt
And scream louder than you'll ever think
All until your words are forced to turn into ink

I love you more
I spent three years writing poems about hate and sorrow
And then you came along and turned those "I despise you"s into "I love you"s like there's no tomorrow
I wish I could say it was hard for such a change, for such trust, but it wasn't
You made everything so ******* easy
Besides expressing this all through writing
Because even though I could right fragments of poems filled with "you complete me" and "you are the one" those didn't explain how you took all the fragments of my life and pieced them all together with your smile
And that smile is the one that caught me
That smile is the one that bought me when I wasn't even for sale
You could take that smile right off your face
Dump it in the sewer and stick it on a different place
And I would still love it
Just like I will always love you
Because I remember those high jokes
I remember that beer belly
I remember that long hair and un kept beard
But ya know what? I loved it,
I loved every inch and crevice and I knew I would for a long time
Then 6 months pass and that long hair turns into speckles
8 months and those high jokes become memories
9 months and that beer belly turns into a strong Core
12 months and that beard is forced by corrupt  corporations to become clean
But ya know what? I love it,
I love every inch and crevice and I know I will for a long time
And though those 12 months of change I've watched you grow and bloom
And go to the dumb bells from shrooms
And I feel proud
So even though you say you love me more
I've stuck with you through the thick and thin
Been there when you were a force of sin
And loved you all the same
As I always will