i hate feelings
i hate you
i miss you
i want you
but i cant have you
you dont care
you never will
im crumbling
im falling
i cant stop crying
i want to stop
make the feelings go away
i want them to go away
i need them to go away

The new kid
He's younger than I
He just moved here
But he's lived here before
So he's not really new
But he's new to me
He's smart
He has kind eyes
He has a kind spirit
And I think he's gonna be alright

You can talk to me
You know that, right?
You don't have to keep me in the dark.
You can tell me what's going on.
You can tell me what's going through your head.
Tell me what's hurting you or who's hurting you.  
Don't keep me in the dark.

new house
new view
new neighbors
new faces
but, the same me
nothings new about me
new roads
new twists and turns
but
i'm still the same

its hella hot

Trees grow big and strong
they make the air clean for us
they're providers of shade when the sun is high
they let children play on their branches  
a safe place
they become new in the fall
yet they stay the same.

My heart thumps
Eyes fill with tears
They roll down my face
My chest is tight
I can't breathe
I sit in the corner of my room
Waiting for for the panic to pass
An hour passes and I'm finally calm.

Why didn't bother asking me?
Did you not think I would care?
Did you think I wouldn't see?
Did you think it wouldn't hurt me?
I wish you would have thought before you acted.
I wish you thought of me.
Why didn't you?
You didn't even consider asking me.
And now I have to act like I don't care.
All I have to do is smile and you'll think I'm fine.

It's getting colder,
It's getting darker earlier,
When I wake the frost is all on the houses and trees,
When I wake my feet are cold,
When I wake my hands are numb,
It's colder and darker now.
That's because it's lonely falling in Fall.

I can't breathe.
I'm panicking for no reason.
It hurts my chest when I inhale and exhale.
I try to calm down, but nothing works.
I stand up and sit back down.
But still nothing is working.
I start to pace around my room.
Then I think "You're gonna be fine."
Heart rate starts slow down.
Breathing becomes normal.
You're fine.
Then the panicking finally stops.

end me please
i'm sick of it all
i'm done
i'm done with feeling
i'm done with not feeling a thing
i want to end it all.

let me sleep

Winter is here.
It's getting colder.
I hope it snows.
I want it to snow.
We have a fire going and it's keeping me warm,
But, I wish it was you keeping me warm.

I wish I told you how I felt
I wish,
I wish I said I love you before you left
I wish,
I wish you felt the same way
I wish,
I wish you would love me like you love her
I wish,
I wish I was her
I wish,
I wish you cared.
But, you never will

It’s been awhile.
I haven’t heard from you in so long.
Do you think of me?
Because I think of you.
I think of what was.
I think of how we lost this.
What we had was fun.
What we had was great.
But according to you.
It was all fake.
I remember the good times.
I remember the bad ones too.
But most of all.
I think of how things could’ve been.
How they would be.
But,
It’s over now.
I’ve moved on.
But,
Old friend.
I will never forget you.
Now we have parted ways.
And I hope you’re doing okay.

i can't find the words to say these days
the words escape me
where did they go?
on the tip of my tongue
then in the back fo my throat
or pushed so far back into my mind that i forget who they were for
wouldn't it just be easier to say "i'm not fine anymore"
but i was the other day and now my anxiety is swallowing me whole
my thoughts grow louder and louder yet i still can't find the words to say.
i wish it was easy
i wish i could scream I'M NOT OKAY ANYMORE
but even if i try the words turn into whispers and all i can say is
i'm just fine.

Remember the pain you felt?
Pure burning pain.
Pain that hurt so much you never thought it would stop.
The pain of your heart shattering
The pain of your heart losing someone they cared so much about
The pain of knowing that you might not ever get them back
Pure burning pain.
The pain that you inflicted on yourself because you saw no other way of dealing with the pain in your heart.
The pain that you were so afraid to talk about because you were afraid of what the people cared about most would say.
You were so afraid of them leaving you when all they wanted to do was help you.
They saw your pain they wanted to take it away from you.
But you didn't let them .
You gave in more and more to the pain and kept hurting yourself more and more
until,
You couldn't anymore.
You gave in,
Asked for help,
You healed.
And sweet girl,
Guess what,
the pain has subsided
Now,
You are no longer broken,
You are no longer afraid,
You are no longer alone .
You are so loved
You are seen for who you are and not the person you were.