pale computer light reflecting off your skin.
shining brightest off the whites of your eyes.
you don’t look at me until I say your name.
I wish you looked me in the eye more.
at college my friends seem surprised when
I say I have a brother

I love you Lucas. I love you so much.

when I got home today you said:
“I’m watching that TV show you recommended,
it’s really good!
how’s college?
how long are you staying?
how was that concert?”
after I talked to you for a while,
I took a shower.
I curled up and cried with my
mouth opened up so wide I could of been
screaming. I made no sounds.
I didn’t want you to hear.
it was the first time you’ve ever asked me
more questions than I’ve asked you.

It’s rooted inside him
he’s a dove carrying an olive branch
a tree planted by the omnipotent
jesus died for him
for the world!
yet civilization thrives, ignorant of their savior
salvation is inherent upon grasping the gravity of His donation
they don’t understand
they just don't understand...
why…?
“Jesus died for your sins, please… it’s the word of God!”

As he drives home at the end of the day,
mournful for the witnesses who neglected his call,
listening to music somewhat static,
and finding wonder in the familiar sunset,
he thinks:
Maybe tomorrow, someone will hear me

what a dreary blank expression
she carries on her pretty face.
as the breeze kisses her neck
slightly more than she’d like
she feels cold.
it’s time to go inside.
but before any motivation to get up
reaches her apathetic mind
she sits there, cold
and thinks, nothing

i think i’m attractive
some girls say I am
not a ton
enough to where i’m ok
sometimes ill look in the mirror and not want to look away
sometimes
sometimes ill wonder why im in a 14 year olds body when im 19
i think i’m weak
i’m too skinny
but im selfish
really selfish
some people cry themselves to sleep because they dont have my body
i cry myself to sleep sometimes
wahhh wahhh wahhh
shut the **** up *****
youre attractive

i have a headache
i’m sad for petty reasons, its very discouraging
maybe its the rain
i want sleep, i want to dream
i, i, i, i
shut up
not satisfied
i, i, i, i really am a happy person
the acne really shows in the white room
especially if its bright
a bleak white room with nothing in it
except my face
i wanna slice my skin off with a knife. it'll look better
im scared of trying to make this good
because if i put in effort, it won't be that great
people will say “oh its pretty good”
but they wont think its good at all
i don't know how to try
i, i, i, i