i watched him become - in my unbecoming.
still, I lay - unraveled.

hello, Melancholy.
old friend.

I am tired.

Honey, I love you - but why do I hurt you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I fool you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I lie to you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I hide from you.

but Honey,
nothing make sense.

how can I even begin to love you,
when I don’t even love myself.

I sipped my wine at the dinner table.

"Honey, please pass me the salt."
I looked up to see her staring back at me,
her eyes glistening in the candle light that burned ablaze.
The joy consuming the fire in her soul,
driving her with lustful intentions of passion and excitement.

I ate my meal at the dinner table,

"Honey, please pour me some wine."
I removed the cork with a 'pop' sound,
that echoed in the quiet room space.
Looking over at her now,
her voluptuous  lips chapped from dehydration.
I handed her a glass of wine and watched as she took a sip.
Her lips dampened now,
a burgundy color stained upon her lips;
I could almost taste her sweet kisses from hither
as she teased me with a smirk of pleasure.

I devoured my dessert at the dinner table.

"Honey, please bring  me some pudding."
I put down my spoon and reached for the bowl placed
in the center of the table that divided her and I.
I extended my hand to reach for the spoon,
but she stood up quite slowly and leisurely made her way round the dining room table;
her left hand index finger lightly caressing the table-top
as she walked around to meet me.

I found her to be standing right on-top of me.
My mind racing.
My heart palpitating.

She grabbed me by my inner thigh and massaged my neck
seductively,
moving in closer her eyes centralized my lips,
her body prepelling its way towards my cornered space.

She bites her lip and thrusts inwards on me now,
Oh darling, whisper sweet things into my ear drums now.

"***.", She said, spoken so gently.

"Alright", I said.
but before I left,

I sipped my wine at the dinner table.

Oh, sweet boy.

Why did you only love her
when she was medicated?

Was it her that you loved -
or the pills that she swallowed?

He was the sun -
orbiting around her lifeless body,
bringing growth and development
to her nimble structure she called

                   home.

My love ~

Please forgive me,
for I am not worthy of a minute of your time.

My sweet ~

Please forgive me,
But how can your precious heart be so sublime?

My all ~
I hope our souls will find each-other, in the great divine

The absent-minded speaks no fear.

For forgetting - is far more peaceful,
than a life of remembrance
and pain.

I lived in a house,
but he was my home.

I have been malnourished
of good people
and good poets.

Sometimes it’s just there

That feeling in your chest,
like a dead weight being  dropped onto your lungs;
preventing you from gasping for that breath of fresh air.
That feeling of helplessness,
intercepts your ability to scream at the top of your lungs.

Sometimes it's just there.
I can’t explain what it feels like.
But if I had to try,
I  would say it's agony.
It's torment,
but absolutely remarkable.

Well my mind is a cage enclosed with fragments of my soul
drifting away into the infinite amount of nothingness
that flows through my bloodstream and
embodies my mind and soul.

Her freedom had yet to be discovered.

"Fall swooned
Left me drunk in a field
Dandelion wine for a year

And i packed up the dust
Of all that i owned
Handkerchief hung from a pole

I rolled out the day that the apples fell…"


- Gregory Alan Isakov

The inescapable thought that forever meant till death.
The indefinite idea that two souls separated at form,
were awaiting to meet each other again and reattach in passing.

The aching realization slowly started to settle in.
Forever wasn't till death do us part.

Forever was the love that remained when two beings had been  separated.
The idea and thought of the memory of love, lust and friendship were the only traits that would endure after passing.

But they move on.
Creating another forever that too will be cherished until death do they part.

A small forever was all that we needed,
to find a serene place where we felt like we belonged.

In sable darkness and deafening sounds of her bedroom silence,
she found herself aching
in deep cogitation.

The full moons brightness had peered in
through her window pane,
but with its light
encompassed her with defeat
and decay.

Reality had settled in;
as she felt her body slowly submerge,
She knew
she was no longer her own saving grace.

She awoke in a place of death and morbidity,
But awoke in a state of contentment and comfortability.

Her agony remained; as the remembrance of today,
the ideas of what will come tomorrow,
and the hope of assurance to what she forebodes her future to be,
with the life she leads.

At last

the words had finally escaped.

“Bittersweet serenity.”

Trapped in a state of solitude,
The area surrounding her became a vacant land.

She was magnificent.
Like a flower that wept petals.

Delicate,
but so
immensely
breakable.