Maybe the reason I'm afraid to go back
Is not because I'm worried things will be different,
But that things will be exactly the ******* same.


                                                         ­                                                                (w.n.)

You never really notice
How big your tiny bed is
Or how little space you take up
As you try to fill the emptiness next to you
Until you're craving somebody to fill the space for you.

And then you realize:
Only that person can.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

I wonder
If I had wings,
Or just the ability to fly,
If when I was standing on the edge,
Would people still want to pull me back to solid ground?

Or would they throw me off of the cliff
And hope that I can save myself?



                                                      ­                                                              (w.­n.)

"If I kissed you right now,
Would that be too cheesy?"


Oh my god yeah,
100% too cheesy...

Doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

Let's kiss in the rain
While that song "***" is playing so loud
That the entire world can hear it.



                                                          ­                                                          (w.n.)

Am I still as important to you
As I was when the days were cold
And the nights were long?



                                                        ­                                                                 (w.n.)

Because how tragically ironic it would be
To end up dead because of an overdose
On the medication meant to help keep you alive.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

Everyone knows
The worst part of great dreams
Is waking up to face your nightmare.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

People always say
how dreams do come true,
how wondrous it is
to be submerged into visions
that belong solely to your mind.

What they never speak of,
as if trying to forget,
is that dreams of wonder,
dreams of light,
can turn to darkness.

Suddenly, dreams of a perfect world
become the horror that we try
so desperately to escape.

Yes, dreams do come true,
but what no one ever tells you
is that nightmares are dreams too.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

It feels as though
for the first time in two weeks
I'm actually happy.

The way you laugh at my stupid jokes
and try to make me laugh at your's,
it works every single time.

The way your eyes fill with worry
when you can tell I've been crying
and you sweetly ask Are you okay?

The way you try to find ways to make me happy
even if it's something
that you normally wouldn't do.

The way you always wait for me
before we temporarily part ways,
just so you can hug me tight.

And I know that you're with her,
but I also know she doesn't always make you happy
the way that you always deserve to be.

She doesn't deserve a man like you,
and although I don't think I do either,
all I really want is this:

To make you happy
and to make you smile
and to make you laugh
and to make your day that much better,
just like you already do for me.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

My throat hasn't stopped burning since the day you left.
I kept screaming out, asking no one but myself
Why did you lie to me?

My eyes haven't stopped streaming since the second you walked away.
Even when I'm smiling and laughing, it takes all of my will
to stop myself from sobbing so hard my face begins to ache.

The pain hasn't ceased since you abandoned me after all that time.
After telling me you loved me and then taking it back,
even before you stopped wanting me entirely.

None of these things have stopped since you disappeared from my life.
But the one thing that stopped the moment you said the words
We're done.
Is my heart.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

Yes*
I need to stop thinking about it.
About us.
About you.
But my desire keeps pulling it all back in,
forcing me to drown in the memory of you
and I just can't take it.
When you left you took the sanity from my mind, the air from my lungs, the light from my eyes, and the beat from my heart.
God, I can still feel your touch.
I can still taste your lips, your tongue.
I can still smell your cologne that used to stick to my clothes for days on end.
But it's all just memories.
A distant light of home that threw me away and left me to rot.
And I constantly wait for that home to return to me but you're not coming back.
You never will.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

have you ever wanted
correction, needed
to hit something
or pinch your skin
or anything that inflicts pain
the physical pain that you can feel
so it can dull the emotional hell that you're living in

have you ever wanted
to make your wrist turn red
because you keep snapping a rubber band against your skin
just to feel the sting of pain

have you ever wanted
to put yourself through a physical pain
so you don't feel numb anymore
so that you might actually remember
how it feels
to be alive



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)