i wish you were here,
when i felt unnecessary in everyone else's life
left behind like an abandoned child,
stuck and miserable in the world,
consider me,
an untimely product.
when i was so close to giving up
you were the only person I felt something for,
but that has changed.
Despite feelings changing overtime, I still....
wish you were,
right next to me.
I wish I could I feel your body
press up against mine when the cold air lathers on our skin.
I wish I wasn't so bad at expressing signs of love,
it was never taught
or given to me.
from the start,
you were the only person that knew me better than I knew me
and that is, the reason as to why I still crave the times I wish you were here with me.
I wish you stood by me in the worst of times,
especially when I couldn't think of anyone else in the moment  except for you.
No strings attached, I think I am drawn to you,
like an artist to a blank canvas,
like a girl who runs away from love because she wasn't given enough.
Yet, I always come back to the thought of you and me,
smiling and laughing
living life happily,
exploring each other's interests so effortlessly,
we lose track of time,
forget to realize that we had to meet sometime this week.
that is why I steer away from the thought of you
and although, the title of this poem is quite ironic so,
with careful notice of both ways this can go,
I can still say that,
I wish you were here.

she can’t get anything done,
call her irresponsible or dumb.
maybe she’s both,
but no one will ever ask.
maybe she’s cold,
but doesn’t want anyone to know.
she feels the pressure come,
shoulders about to drop,
heart giving up.
it’s not like you’d understand,
you expect me to be perfect,
worth it, when I hate myself.
take me from this place,
i cannot stay,
i feel number everyday.
dreams been replaced with lost hope,
what’s faith?
expectations make focus harder,
i’m drained.
don’t tell me what to do,
let me live how i want,
can’t you already see, i’m tired of this life.

i just miss the way we used to speak,
sitting on your fire escape,
we vented our little hearts away,
figuring out a way out of the destruction we faced.
the hardships we endured weren’t just,
we were too young to experience those things.
so they’d tell us, but hey, remember when i used to sleepover your place?
despite needing space, you used to tell me anyway that I was your safe place.
it was as if we represented our own homes,
not reflecting it, just avoiding the conflict,
all we knew at the time was feeling like we belonged.
all along, i wanted someone to lean on when the obstacles grew too difficult to face.
when i found you,
i learned just how that felt.
now, we’re growing old,
connection is wearing thin,
but i’m still thinking of you to maintain faith.
you help me through things i can’t make out,
and for that, i’m forever grateful to have you,
to have had that one special connection.
days are passing by,
time is ticking, and it feels longer without you here with me.
you moved away four years ago,
but it feels like i lost track of where that person I’ve known my whole life went.
distance could be the reason for our connection not being the same,
but, the harder i try to remember the reason why,
the more pain it brings.
these tears I cry out are temporary calls for help through times I need you here with me to stay.
hopefully one day, our days will come back to us as they should,
we will reunite and rekindle our once special connection,
making each other feel like nothing has changed.
in the mean time, i can replay the memories we’ve made,
with you by my side reminds me of the feeling of getting through anything.
because you were my safe place, the one I depended on when people pushed me away when I had nowhere else to go.
when i cry at night,
the thought of you next to me bring the tears I cry to water for the trees, and those cries turn to sounds of peace,
you are my safe place.

Living a life for another, made by others,
Anticipating and considering all these expectations,
Especially, for the fans who tolerate the process of expanding education and inspiration,
We’re doing everything we have to do to fulfill the next agent.
We are the creators of a new generation, influencing teens with the power of our platforms,
Reinforcing the idea of an effortless motivation.
To plan ahead, we’re moving forward,
Toward the subsequent destination.
We are the driving forces of multimedia nations,
Narcissism and low self-esteem are the feelings we’re morally inclined to,
Feeling our own bodies test addiction to a single notification,
We’re living in endless rotation.
Our minds have grown accustomed to the routines of checking the number,
Of likes and comments on the recent,
Even, lurking and giving into the guilty pleasure of stalking,
If the previous line resonates, then you’ve just justified our statistics and analytics.
The only way out is through resuscitation,
Deactivating can be deemed the easier option,
However, those who signed up for it can argue that widespread messages are the modern communication for our adolescents,
Setting a model for the next, following, and upcoming conversation.

don’t know what you call this,
it’s labeled a whatever thing.
you’re leading me,
to inconsistency.
tired of your mystery,
this isn’t suppose to be a puzzle piece,
can’t you see that i’m falling apart without you?
call it emotional dependence,
but if you cared just as you say you do,
you’d prove who and what you are,
instead of eluding to the truth.
burning through these possibilities,
how about you,
light a match, and,
guide us to the direction of nevermeanttobe.
do I have to remind you again?
how to act,
and listen.
just listen,
you make me feel like i’m high above,
the clouds of doubt that fill your mind at the worst of night,
causing me to lose track of time.
when it’s time to go,
we pack our bags,
forget to say goodbye.
if you were truly what i gained,
you wouldn’t mind tiring or lying to me.
i’ll accept it for what it is,
cause you’ll reminisce,
leave me to guess,
then wrap me all up in your head;
not as a present,
but to mark the esssence of having the nerve to speak to me.
i shouldn’t have to open the door,
place the keys on your front lawn,
just to see you move on from me again.
advice runs around my mind,
telling me things that i do not like,
how you like to lick your lips,
to marinate a thousand more lies and excuses,
feeling unashamed and inveterate every time.
shamelessly you make me yours and I make you mine;
oh, i don’t know what to call this.
memories of you and me,
raid through these homemade remedies,
for once and for all, trying to forget you;
for the love of Christ, why do I feel inclined to you?
you’ll call me once,
or maybe twice,
and i’ll pick up,
just to hear you cry, and whine,
about the things you can’t achieve in life.
because this life is like a marathon to you,
don’t race along when you feel rushed,
you’ll just forget to pace yourself.
my innocence is wearing thin,
you’re wearing me all across her chest,
and neck,
tell me you’re numb and can’t go through it again,
don’t feel nothing.
i’ll convince myself that you are here,
that you are here to hear what i feel is true and finally listen.
as the days go by,
i allow time to slip through fingertips,
time after time,
you make me out to be the biggest fool.
when i brag about you to them,
they suggest i don’t get too fond of you,
nevertheless, i’ll drift and float to dizziness;
disregard the past conversation,
while actively pursuing to revitalize the old one again.
these perpexlexing parts are hard to find,
i look around, note one to none,
and none to suffice;
there it goes, so i, lose track of you.

i want to run away from here,
i’m unwanted and viewed as eternal emptiness.
i knew it in my heart that I should’ve never cared,
Because the reason for our fall always ends here.
For thinking you were the one,
For once,
I am wrong.
Overthinking too much,
I assume where we went lost.
Took too long to reply,
My heart is shriveled up and dead, and I can no longer move along.
Just a look in your eyes,
Brings memories to my mind,
I love you so much.
I wish that I could remove the flaws hidden behind us,
A trail of unrequited love.
From afar, I see that your footprints cross my heart,
Too much to bear, I sit and stare at the clock.
Too numb to feel something that felt so real,
Maybe you weren’t the one to heal,
You were just a temporary deal,
Just like everyone else.
I could’ve been yours,
Our perspectives are too **** drawn,
Can’t you see?
We’re falling apart,
pretending to be something we’re not.
We’re nothing at all, I understand...
I wish that we could’ve lasted forever,
Instead, you abused the pact and treated me as whenever,
Oh, I just wanted you all to myself.
Reassurance and security,
Both things that met when I was with you.
Call me a selfish girl,
A cruel fool,
But my emotions will inevitably choose you.
I will miss you my dear,
But, you were the cause of our downfall.
Running away from my problems again,
goodbye my friend.

You were the sun to my moon,
While dark eclipses constantly revolved around,
You appeared and mended me whole again.
When the waves came crashing in,
You were the one I ran to,
Despite the abyss, anchoring my faith,
You stood by my side.
I could never pay you back for tossing,
A lifesaver, indeed.
Abandoned by the sea, and hidden in the shadows,
Even, neglected by sunlight,
Baby boy, you wired the spark in my eyes,
Restarted the heart I obtained deep within,
Something I could possibly never fathom to exist,
You did that, you filled that void with happiness.
So pure,
No one would ever imagine a face,
Be taken away,
So suddenly, too quick.
You were the joy I desired,
I held you in my arms so tight,
You were finally mine,
I felt ever so complete.
Just when life felt right,
I was struck by lightning,
A storm swept the happiness and ease.
Though laying lifeless,
You and I were finally reunited.
My sweet little boy, lay lifeless,
A child like this should never rest in a casket.