Be careful with me,
I tend to believe anything and everything
from those who seem to care.
And at the same time,
I doubt almost every word.
Is this a paradox? Yes.
Is this self-defense or have
my demons convinced me otherwise?
It's both.

That time between
Christmas and New Year
has always felt like purgatory
and we are just ghosts with
nowhere to go but haunt the time
until the new year is here.

I get to see the world
and all of its beauty
like the shiniest pearl
in the deep blue sea.
I may live in Sydney
and all its works of art,
but he's the luckiest guy in Tbilisi
'cause he unlocked your heart
with a charm like a key.

Do not trust those
who do not converse with
their demons once in a while,
let alone, those who ignore
or deny their existence.

You left a hole in
my heart that I will never
dare to fill again

8:05 PM
31/5/22

Things don't really end-
they just transform or morph for
better or for worse

11:16 AM
17/7/22

You crossed my path and I realized
that you haven't changed at all.
Still, you are the lost and bitter
individual that I did not realize
until you turned away.
The difference between then and now
is that my eyes see through you.

You stayed long enough
to make believe that you
wouldn't ever leave

3:41 PM
22/8/20

We are merely
ordinary beings
curated for the world to see.
Such glimpses into
another's life weaves fantasies
that simply aren't reality.

The clock strikes
Three Thirty-Three
and I am alone with these thoughts,
once again.
This could go
either way.

One of my
favorite things to do
is to make you melt
again and again-
melt you into a puddle,
build you up again
and melt you yet again.

Never forget this heart beats for you,
that I need you to remember me.  
Know you are ever-present in my sky
for you are the only star I see,
whether it be sunshine or twilight.
You are the song of birds in that sky
and I hope the song will never end.

Joy not just by name,
but my joy around the world,
the joy in my heart.

11:19 AM
20/11/22

Stop offering your
apologies to the knife
wedged deep in your back

10:43 AM
23/7/22

When our
shadows die,
do they bleed
light?

I have been speechless
since I kissed your lips.
For it is in your mouth
I left my voice,
my reason,
my soul.

There is so much joy
in the way you smile,
in those eyes and in
the way you see the world.
I could listen to you all day and
every word I will keep in my heart.
You really are a miracle
the way you bless my life with
your words, your smile
and your love.

"Why do I feel you letting go of me?"
I think to myself, a thought I have far too often.
And I wonder,
do you feel it too?

We were
not made for this world.
We were made for
each other.

Most people are temporary.
Some of them can help you along your path
or even guide you on a new path
while others can get you lost
or even put you down
a dangerous path.

Just because you
have a damaged past,
does not mean you
have to have a damaged future.

Why do we bottle it in,
and hold ourself together
in front of strangers who
do not care nor matter?

The world is waiting
to hear your thoughts once again.
When will you write more?

6:54 PM
9/1/21

I either have
nothing to say or
too much to say but
no will to say it.

I never asked for
any of this. It was all
you. you wanted this.

10:07 AM
14/8/22

There are things I will
never understand such as
why I still love you

11:51 PM
27/3/23

It is like we are
hard-wired for a life of
hurt and misery

11:02 PM
15/11/20

Sometimes
you just have to
let the anger, the darkness,
the sadness and chaos go.
Sometimes
all you can do is
yield these feelings
to the past and try
to not look back.

What if everything
was as scary as my mind
made it out to be?

10:56 PM
4/7/24

Dear diary;
Today,
I feel alive.
so much so that
my demons are
laughing with me.

You took away
my desire to need love.
For some reason, I accepted it,
and I do nothing to change it.
It is like a curse I must endure.
How much longer must this go on?
Do I hold onto this curse to
avoid more pain and heartbreak?
I have carried this curse for too long
to remember how you made me feel
all that time ago.

There are some people
you can know a lifetime
and still not relate to
just as there are strangers
who you can relate to
as if having known
them a lifetime.

you probably think
this haiku is about you-
well guess what? it is.

11:17 AM
24/8/19

Sometimes I want to scream it,
Sometimes I want to take all this love
and give it wings, send it
across the sea so that it
can hug you, kiss you,
and keep you warm
while I am gone.

The demons never really leave,
they only slumber in the
dark corners of the mind.
They do not leave,
do not let them fool you,
they will hide and wait for the
right moment to wreak havoc upon
the soul once again.

Even in dreams
I cannot escape you.
Your voice still shrieks through sleep
and your face can still be seen
throughout these dreamscapes.
What was once a method of escape
has now become a prison of
memories of a love I thought I
left behind long ago.

I want to let go
of these feelings
I have held onto for far too long.
I want to let go
of these memories
like a child lets go of a balloon.

All memories
leave a mark.
They can manifest
from scratches to scars
or the most
beautiful tattoos.

Second choice?
You?
Are you crazy?
Are you blind?
Look in the mirror
and tell me a fool
who would take that
as his second choice.
Yes, tell me the fool
who would cherish
that heart of yours
a mere second to
that of another.
I want to know this fool,
so I can take pity on
his misguided soul.
Second choice-
spare me!

Like the rain
drowns the plants,
your words drown
this sinking heart.

Once again,
anxiety blooms
in this mind like
black roses.

I am leaving-
not because I want to,
but because by leaving,
I will recover the piece
of me missing.

You may not
be able to forget them,
but you sure as hell
can remember them
as lessons.

Don't let me close my eyes-
wake me if I do,
even if I am dreaming because
no dream can compare to the one I lay beside.
I want to dream of you
with eyes wide open.

Memories are as
delicate as the petals
of a sunflower

11:54 PM
22/8/21

It is true that
I have never been
an excitable person.
Even when it comes to
celebrations, birthdays,
and even my own, I find it
hard to muster up the joy.
Perhaps I wasn't given the
social battery required to spark
enough excitement for those
day-to-day activities and achievements
but that is fine by me.

The truth will set you free
no matter how frightening it may be
to shed the ignorance we have
found comfort in.
Some people may run and hide from it,
others even fight it,
but the more you seek truth,
the easier it will be to
make that peace.

Dear diary;
this heartbreak stuff
does wonders for my writing.
Is it a price worth paying?
Probably not,
but it’s not
like I have a
choice.

Dear Diary;
now that the dust has settled
I have realized that
all I want to do is
work,
travel,
work,
travel
to distract myself
from the joke that is my life

What will I do with
all that vulnerability
you have given me?

3:59 PM
9/2/23