This world
is under no obligation
to be less weird
than fiction.

Do you ever feel
strange to be in your own skin-
like a foreigner?

2:09 PM
6/3/22

You closed the door on
me and I closed the door on
everybody else

10:04 PM
6/4/22

The day I find you
is the day I forget I
was looking for you

8:28 PM
4/2/23

We are merely
ordinary beings
curated for the world to see.
Such glimpses into
another's life weaves fantasies
that simply aren't reality.

Have you ever danced
to the rhythm of the sunflowers?
The notes of the sun fall on our feet
as I sway with the petals
from dawn until dusk.

I'm having
conversations
inside my head.
Whoever lives in there
hates me too.

Our worlds
have split in two
and you’ve gone too far
to come back.
We both can’t go back
to that world
We can’t ever call it
home again.

You said forever
but you did not mention just
how short it would be

1:12 AM
28/8/22

Letting go of you
was the best thing I have done.
Yes, I found you out.

10:21 PM
20/8/20

These memories blanket me
like the cosmos above-
countless worlds I will
never experience.
The stars above sparkle
like the unsaid words and
our broken promises-
out of reach yet oh
so beautiful.

Solitude is not
about where I am, it is
about who I am

6:05 PM
21/5/23

I will bloom from the
implosion of you and I-
from ashes, I grow

11:08 PM
26/1/21

Your laugh
still echoes in
my mind,
my dreams,
and that's the
saddest part of all.

Sometimes I want to scream it,
Sometimes I want to take all this love
and give it wings, send it
across the sea so that it
can hug you, kiss you,
and keep you warm
while I am gone.

I still believe there is a
little piece of love that flickers in
the centre of your heart-
Like an ember struggling to breathe
in the heart of a
stormy night.

Dear diary;
I have always felt this disconnection
with the rest of the world, with society,
but that is nothing new.
I thought I would have overcome it by now,
but sadly, that is not the case.
It has lingered over me for as long
as I can remember and I have never
felt more alone than right now.
This alienation to everyone I meet,
who have loved me and those I loved
leaves me with an inescapable shame.
I still have not found myself
and I don't think I ever will.

What will I do with
all that vulnerability
you have given me?

3:59 PM
9/2/23

I know you
like the sun knows
the sunflowers.
Your love blossoms in this heart
and I nurture it as if it were
the last seed on Earth.

There are some people
you can know a lifetime
and still not relate to
just as there are strangers
who you can relate to
as if having known
them a lifetime.

Most people are temporary.
Some of them can help you along your path
or even guide you on a new path
while others can get you lost
or even put you down
a dangerous path.

Dear diary;
this heartbreak stuff
does wonders for my writing.
Is it a price worth paying?
Probably not,
but it’s not
like I have a
choice.

I have lost so much
and one more thing won't make a
difference - I'm at peace

4:12 PM
29/6/23

Humanity hurt each other-
they would hurt me.
Despite my cynicism,
I adored them,
I helped them.
But the hurt continued...
I don’t do that anymore.

You took away
my desire to need love.
For some reason, I accepted it,
and I do nothing to change it.
It is like a curse I must endure.
How much longer must this go on?
Do I hold onto this curse to
avoid more pain and heartbreak?
I have carried this curse for too long
to remember how you made me feel
all that time ago.

Would you have done the
same if you had known how it
was going to end?

9:06 PM
1/2/23

Though I now may be damaged,
I could never hurt anyone
the way you hurt me.

And through the distance,
I still feel the warmth of your smile,
so close I hold it to my heart.
This soul kisses you from across the sea
as all I can do is wait for you
to come home.

I am so tired
of this sickness and I hope
that it too shall pass

2:21 AM
4/4/21

Were we tearing each
other apart for a love
not worth falling for?

3:43 PM
25/2/21

My dreams were clearer
without the taint of your name,
your face, memories...

4:54 PM
12/6/22

I do not need death
to enter heaven,
to be by your side is
enough to make me feel
like I'm with an angel.

There is a fine line
between wanting someone back
and missing someone

3:55 PM
28/3/23

My own mind must be
the biggest thief that I have
ever known

You redact moments
you wish to ignore but
my memory remains the same.
Indeed, we are living records
of time and trauma and
they do not stay dead
for very long.

Not everyone will like you
and that is okay.
You cannot please everyone,
no one can, in fact,
sometimes people can hurt us
through no fault of our own.
It is self-care to withdraw from these people,
to walk away for your well being.
Surround yourself with those who care
while at the same time,
prioritizing yourself.

Somehow, I always
seem to leave with a bit less
than I had before

12:13 AM
9/8/21

Once again,
anxiety blooms
in this mind like
black roses.

I get to see the world
and all of its beauty
like the shiniest pearl
in the deep blue sea.
I may live in Sydney
and all its works of art,
but he's the luckiest guy in Tbilisi
'cause he unlocked your heart
with a charm like a key.

There is nothing wrong
with losing people.
What is wrong is
losing yourself
for other people.

In dreams you call me
and I wake up each morning
smiling thanks to you

11:23 PM
13/5/22

I have now realized that
there is no place in this world
for me without you.
There is no star where you do not twinkle
nor sunflower where you do not blossom.
Indeed, I will always carry you with me
no matter where I go,
and no matter the time.

Nostalgia can be
like your favorite jacket:
it'll keep you warm in times of cold
but can become unbearable
when life starts to burn.

Never forget this heart beats for you,
that I need you to remember me.  
Know you are ever-present in my sky
for you are the only star I see,
whether it be sunshine or twilight.
You are the song of birds in that sky
and I hope the song will never end.

I want to write your name on the sun.
I want to tell the sun how your smile
burns brighter than a thousand suns
and about how galaxies revolve
around the purity of your soul.
I want to tell the sun how your beauty
rivals that of any shooting star and how
the trails your smile leaves fill me with joy
and the inspiration I need to write these words.

I love you every
day but today I will put
it in a haiku

7:49 PM
23/2/20

Sylvie
is deceptive
to the eye and I
am left with nothing
but my imagination.

It is like we are
hard-wired for a life of
hurt and misery

11:02 PM
15/11/20

I don't want to
be your next station,
I want to be your
destination.

Be careful with me,
I tend to believe anything and everything
from those who seem to care.
And at the same time,
I doubt almost every word.
Is this a paradox? Yes.
Is this self-defense or have
my demons convinced me otherwise?
It's both.