You may not be here anymore, but were you ever really here? You did a great job acting that I truly believed you cared, at least for a while, and worse, that you actually loved me.
It always hurts that extra bit when you don't see it coming. You begin to punish yourself and say how you should have seen this coming. How many red flags did you overlook this time?
There is nothing wrong with taking baby steps. Whether you walked instead of ran, wrote a few sentences instead of pages, or woke up a few minutes later. It is better to have attempted than to not have attempted at all. Baby steps are okay.
Dear S, I thought I could keep this up. Maybe I could for a while, but not anymore- it hurts too much. I didn't know it would be so difficult and I didn't know you would turn away. You were supposed to be here. You were family. I'm lost.
I get to see the world and all of its beauty like the shiniest pearl in the deep blue sea. I may live in Sydney and all its works of art, but he's the luckiest guy in Tbilisi 'cause he unlocked your heart with a charm like a key.
Never forget this heart beats for you, that I need you to remember me. Know you are ever-present in my sky for you are the only star I see, whether it be sunshine or twilight. You are the song of birds in that sky and I hope the song will never end.
I am a bee in the sunflowers of memories. I find shelter and solitude underneath the petals and harvest that sweet nostalgia of this garden we once shared.
Dear Diary; now that the dust has settled I have realized that all I want to do is work, travel, work, travel to distract myself from the joke that is my life
I still dream about you from time to time. Sometimes I wish to not wake up, sometimes they turn into nightmares. Either way, I am sad when I wake up to see that you are gone.
That time between Christmas and New Year has always felt like purgatory and we are just ghosts with nowhere to go but haunt the time until the new year is here.
It has been too long- time is still passing, yet the memories still remain, sometimes clear as day, sometimes like a dream. But the longing to return to you has created a galaxy within me that no amount of stars except your radiance can illuminate.
Be careful with me, I tend to believe anything and everything from those who seem to care. And at the same time, I doubt almost every word. Is this a paradox? Yes. Is this self-defense or have my demons convinced me otherwise? It's both.
Sometimes I want to scream it, Sometimes I want to take all this love and give it wings, send it across the sea so that it can hug you, kiss you, and keep you warm while I am gone.
From the beginning, I knew our time was limited but that did not stop me from choosing you. Perhaps I thought and hoped that the more times we said 'I love you', the greater the chance that we would make it.
You crossed my path and I realized that you haven't changed at all. Still, you are the lost and bitter individual that I did not realize until you turned away. The difference between then and now is that my eyes see through you.
It's the solitary nights I cherish the most. The silence and shadows, the thoughts and theories- these are the things that keep this heart beating- this is what it's all about.
You took away my desire to need love. For some reason, I accepted it, and I do nothing to change it. It is like a curse I must endure. How much longer must this go on? Do I hold onto this curse to avoid more pain and heartbreak? I have carried this curse for too long to remember how you made me feel all that time ago.
There is so much joy in the way you smile, in those eyes and in the way you see the world. I could listen to you all day and every word I will keep in my heart. You really are a miracle the way you bless my life with your words, your smile and your love.
Even in dreams I cannot escape you. Your voice still shrieks through sleep and your face can still be seen throughout these dreamscapes. What was once a method of escape has now become a prison of memories of a love I thought I left behind long ago.
The demons never really leave, they only slumber in the dark corners of the mind. They do not leave, do not let them fool you, they will hide and wait for the right moment to wreak havoc upon the soul once again.
Oh Chai, you cleanse this soul. Your warmth rushes through this body on the way to this frozen heart. So sweet you are, I need you every night. Oh Chai, it's you that makes me feel alright.
I wanted to take care of you as if you were the last sunflower on Earth but winter ravaged this garden. Despite my best efforts, I watched your petals wither before my helpless eyes. It is true that I did not know how to take care of you, but I’ll be ****** if I had not given you my all.