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Dec 2018 · 107
Merrimae Dec 2018
Oh, how beautiful it is
That I put my life into your hands.
Your fingers wrap around my breath,
Creating a beautiful juxtapositional dance.

Love and violence,
Pleasure and pain.
Vulnerability and power,
Queer and mundane.

Oh, my sweet king,
Such an ****** thing.
Merrimae Oct 2018
He makes me feel like one does sitting under the vast sky on a chilly, autumn night,
while rocks incarcerate a warm fire.
He protects me and surrounds me, ebbing and flowing through my veins like a drug,
All the while teaching me the ways of the world.
See, a star will fascinate, stimulate,
Force you to wonder.
Yet he just suggests it, like a breeze, dropping subtle foot prints in soft but not quite muddy grounds.
He is the feeling of snow under your boots as you trek through an overexposed wasteland, and the curiosity that is born into your mind as you see trees and general shrubbery peaking through the white blanket.
He is beauty and awe, like a motionless lake reflecting the world it lives in, showing the imperfect perfections of such a home.
Love, has never stricken me so weak, and flowers have never smelled as sweet, as my honey turns my world into a delightful treat.
Oct 2018 · 496
The new promise.
Merrimae Oct 2018
Hello honey, hello darling.
Hello future, hello love.
Hello to the life
I’ve always dreamed of.

Hello handsome, hello sweetie.
Hello confidence, hello trust.
Hello to my one and only
We’ll last until all else is dust.

It’s incomprehensible,
The way I feel, when I think of you.
Happiness flutters through my being,
Whenever you do the things you do.

Hello smile, hello eyes,
Hello laughs, hello hugs,
Hello to my amazing guardian angel
Sent from above.

Hello kisses, hello voice,
Hello gentle caresses and sweet love.
You are my favorite hello,
And I wish to never say goodbye, Love.
Oct 2018 · 68
just live
Merrimae Oct 2018
Some are ungrateful for life.
Some are unappreciative for love.
Some attempt to run from the joys, seeking more.
Receiving less.
Jul 2018 · 82
Two bodies, one soul.
Merrimae Jul 2018
What is a soulmate?
A friend of your soul?
A sentience to grab some coffee with?

It seems everyone has this preconceived notion that a soulmate is the one you must be in love with.
I beg to differ.

They can be a person you've only ever talked to once.
But in that conversation you felt complete.
You found and acknowledged pieces of yourself you could only taste.

You sort of know this person by just a few exchanges.
They are the essence of you.
And by getting to know and love someone like this,

Maybe you can learn to love yourself.
Jun 2018 · 334
The fall of a lifetime.
Merrimae Jun 2018
Footsteps follow closely to a steep edge
The sound of a shuttering camera echoes
Unbeknownst them a fall will pursue
Plunging her into an endless abyss

She laughs and carelessly trots along her handmade trail
Animated eyes flip through scenery
The footsteps lead to a ledge over the river
She slips.

Her body and her heart plummets
Desperate arms fling onto a tree, bruising an already bruised wrist.
Her heart continues to fall.

Once upon a time, she was afraid.
Thought that she may never get back up on her own.
Yet now, a gentle yet fierce feeling fills her
Frees her.

She is no longer trapped in the prison of herself
Like a phoenix, a once crumbled heart rises from the ashes of a devastating fire, and leaps into the hands of a new keeper.
Jun 2018 · 133
The most beautiful bomb.
Merrimae Jun 2018
A fire, raging inside the weathered skin of the world
People begging to come through,
Crawling and digging their way to the surface.
Pleading for a voice, yet being picked through and left behind,
For the next one is allowed to shine.

The loveliest concoction of gunpowder and flame,
Just below the surface of a temperate land.
Perplexing and contradicting tornadoes savage the mind,
Leave only emeralds and a shaky smile.
However life must push through all the while.

She is the most beautiful bomb.'
Unpredictible and clever,
Though she is haunted by many a thought,
She stands tall and fiercely.
Apr 2018 · 150
Merrimae Apr 2018
I wish I were a tree.
I wish I could brace the wind and be brave.
I wish I could stand tall and sway in the breeze.
Unappreciated unless useful.
maybe i am a tree

I wish I were a Bomb.
I wish I could coerce people into submission.
I wish I could have a definitive plan.
Destructive and chaotic.
maybe i am a bomb

I wish I were a bird.
I wish I could fly above the clouds freely.
I wish I could travel about carelessly.
Perpetually running and escaping their problems.
maybe i am a bird.

maybe i am all of these things,
but for the reason i do not wish.
seasons come and go, and all things too,
maybe i should just wait til Spring.
Apr 2018 · 130
Merrimae Apr 2018
This cold cold institution is wearing me down.
Like rushes of winter water eroding the bank.
Green leaves and bright flowers beg to remain,
but nature denies.

Nature is society.
Like a gazelle being hunted by a gazelle,
in a dry savanna, unknowing of its imminent death,
and then is mauled by the reality and cruelty that is natural order.

Torture, it is.
For me to wake up at seven in the morning to a ¨safe haven¨
Maybe it is a gate to heaven, because Lord knows im scared of dying there.
Apr 2018 · 305
Time goes on.
Merrimae Apr 2018
Sometimes I feel like things will never change.
but this past year has proven to me that it changes, and quickly.
Death, love, birth, new friends, old friends.
The smiling faces I see everyday will soon be gone.

Stories from people I've never met linger in my head despite being unknown, and the lives of people I know yet will never understand intertwine with mine like a puzzle.
Almost two thousand people in a seemingly dilapidated H swarm around each other, never stopping to ask the names of the person next to them.

We suffer together, cheer together, worry together, stress together, succeed together, and sometimes, we fail together.
Yet we are strangers.
The fish in the sea sometimes seem better acquainted than you and me.

In two short years, I will leave and never come back.
In two short years, my third grade crush will never pop back into my mind.
In two short years, all of the admonishments from my Mom will come into actualization as I realize I know nothing about those I've grown up with.
In two short years, I will leave the place I hated so much, and I will come to terms with the fact I've only hated it because it cant last forever.

Sometimes I feel as if things will never change.
But sooner rather than later we will face the biggest change of our lives.

Goodbye, friends.
I'm sorry I never knew you.
Mar 2018 · 71
Sad, sad, sad.
Merrimae Mar 2018
A small town school in Middle-of-nowhere, Tennessee.
We get out early due to a tornado warning, so we prepare to leave at one pm.
Lunch time! I´m so hungry.
But right as i turn the corner, i hear alarms.
My smile drops and my tear ducts fill and i am suddenly afraid for my life.

Why is this reality?
Why does a once harmless, but annoying, fire alarm terrify us?
My friend who is usually not very lovey and not very touchy grabbed my arm and said ¨i am scared.¨
I used to find it easy to just fall into the mindset of, ¨it´ll never happen to me.¨

But what if it does?
who says it wouldn´t?
Two threats this year, one threat last year, so many false alarms and close calls but what are we doing?
Mar 2018 · 62
Merrimae Mar 2018
Sad eyes see sad faces,
Hear sad whispers in dark places,
Touch fire with sad lethargy
And taste salt from a sad memory.

Bad girl, I hate being told.
Yet bad things seem to be uncontrolled.
Why do i have these bad traits?
Im beginning to crumble under these weights.

You deserve better.
I´d be better off alone.
Jan 2018 · 363
As you lay here sleeping.
Merrimae Jan 2018
Sleeping boy, how i wonder,
What goes on within your slumber.
What thoughts rave free,
In your mind of beauty?

Sleeping man, do you see?
The things that you are doing to me?
we are both unstable and insecure
But with the mentality you possess is something i cannot concur.

Anger and aggression,
Falls into pits of depression,
Rises again into mountains of happiness,
And climaxes filled with naughtiness.

Sleeping love, can you see?
The things your doing kills me.
a constant belittlement of self,
despite promises of seeking help.

Sleeping baby, please be happy.
I know i fail but it´s all i want.
As you sleep here next to me, i think i see,
the most peaceful thing in all of humanity.
Jan 2018 · 144
Merrimae Jan 2018
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but my bones are strong and will heal.
words cut deep into my skin,
and the scars will always remain.

i throw rocks in my glass house,
and i throw glasses in my stone house.
i do whatever i want,
because in the end everything will always Break.
Jan 2018 · 293
Merrimae Jan 2018
Fills my lungs
My rooms
My house
My world.

Torches my mind
My family
My love
My universe.

Consumes my heart
My thoughts
My body
My soul.

To me,
To you,
To everyone.
I'm stuck in a fiery pit of emotions.
Jan 2018 · 258
Merrimae Jan 2018
Shivers rise and fall along my spine,
Electricity surges through my veins in a blitz of passion.
Warmth invades my neck, chest, back,
Fingernails bury themselves into my clammy skin.

Eyes lock,
Hearts beat in sync,
Breaths overlap in between as a storm of love,
Teeth sink into your neck, arm, ear.

Backs arch,
Whimpers and squeaks struggle to remain quiet,
Delicate and sinful whispers fill my head,
As a jolting tremble flows through my body.
The Lust in my Lovers eyes drives me wild.
Take a guess. ;)
Dec 2017 · 2.3k
Merrimae Dec 2017
A broken light bulb.
A shattered dream.
A life wasted.
It's not what it seems.

A broken family.
Stressed and tired.
Chance after chance.
Will it ever expire?

Perpetual forgiveness.
Is it worth it?
The tears, the screams.
We are hypocrites.

Shaming you for breaking the bulb.
Yet, we cut ourselves trying to fix it.
Nov 2017 · 192
Enigma of self.
Merrimae Nov 2017
The stars in the sky.
At which I stare at for hours
Metaphors for the faults and the perfections
Living within all of us.

The mountains in the distance.
Strong and everlasting.
A constant reminder to live,
And be fierce,
To brave the wind and embrace
The storms.
To withstand the erosion and corruption
Of the surrounding world.

The bluest of hues in the sky.
A bright notification that I am here.
I am alive.
I make mistakes, such are the clouds.
But I can still thrive.

The moon in my view.
Crater littered and dust filled.
Unappreciated for its work.
Controlling the tides of emotions that
Fester within me within you.

The dandelions.
A ****, a pest, yet a beautiful metaphor
That we are not what we seem.
Delicate and eloquent
A staple of love that sounds silly
Alluring and mesmerizing
A song of no words.  

The music that keeps me awake at night.
A melody of feelings and thoughts.
Questions with little answers which are hard to seek and even harder to fathom.

But you are of utmost importance.
A plethora of lessons that impact me deeper than you could ever know
Not because of lack of will
Yet a lack of my coveyance
A lack of my empathy
A lack of my heart.
Maybe it is lost too.
Nov 2017 · 117
Who knew?
Merrimae Nov 2017
im lost  
in a sea of perpetual fear

fear of being wrong,
fear of being right.

i never would've thought
it'd be this hard
To Love.

happiness is all consuming
until it's not.

i am lost.
as well as you.
i cannot lose you.

who would've thought,
it'd be this hard
To Love?
Nov 2017 · 109
who am i to advise? No One.
Merrimae Nov 2017
Fourteen Minutes.
How foolish I am to waste away like this.
Inhale, exhale.
Inhale the temporary relief that i feel keeps me alive.
Exhale precious time i once had

Time to love and be loved.
Time to laugh and create laughter.

How Selfish I am to lead a life like this.

How Hypocritical i am.
To tell others you must love yourself
But deep inside, when i am alone
I hate myself.

To tell others they must live and prosper
When i sit and drift deeper into my own suicide
I am broken.

A walking contradiction of what i want and what i do
things i love i really despise and i
sometimes believe
i am wonderful
but who really is?

He who kills himself knows something we do not.
But i who **** myself am ignorant to
things i always hear and always resonate with

But i do Not change.

You are my hardest goodbye
and i hate that i love you more than anything or anyone else
but you have me wrapped around your
One Hundred Millimeters

I try, but I Fail.
My failures surpass my wishful thinking.

and i fail.
Nov 2017 · 111
Facing Fears.
Merrimae Nov 2017
i Run.
it's what i do
not a hobby, nor a pleasure

the monster is not under my bed, or in my head.
it is in my heart, all too deep
She chases me around, eradicating sleep

radiating fear, devotion, yearning
for attention
for water to grow

Yet I Run.

No More.

I will face the monster
Head to head, she will lose
But not in a vicious brawl.

For She is not a monster at all.
Merely a sheep i mentally imaged in wolf's clothing

I will show Her compassion
and accept Her gifts into my heart

Nerve-racking may it be
i will stay
forever and always

She is Love.
I will give her to You
and You to Me.
Nov 2017 · 97
Merrimae Nov 2017
Embrace me in your Chill
Consume me in your Hate.
Eat me alive, if you will
i'd love more to appreciate

your thoughts, motives,
the reasons you do
the things that Define you
as a

BUT! Do you really think?
do you have a motive deeper than your skin,
in your heart?

Do you have one? A Heart?
Your actions, criticisms.
Your painful jabs at those you view inferior
are merely a reflection of your

Inner Turmoil.
Because who you really Hate
is You.

The ones you claim weaker than yourself
are mirrors at which you stare at
for Too long
hoping to see a change

However, change can only be made by melting
away your Insecurities and
finding new ways to be

Melt, Snowflake.
Melt away and let the dirt that
has turned your icy elegance
into muddy gore.
A snowflake is an unique person who is different than others. In this case, negatively.
Nov 2016 · 120
mY pErfect wOnderland. . .
Merrimae Nov 2016
I would like to go to a place
So,  so  
Where I can be I
You can be You
Maybe We, could even be We.?

I would like to see a Face
So, So Lovely
Where there´s; freckles and dimples
Blue. Green. Gray.
Maybe even a Smile, so Simple

                                               space   ,
just for
A land where we´re 
Peaceful, too
/That´s/ where I want to be.  

with / or / with/out / you..
Oct 2016 · 300
Your cold love
Merrimae Oct 2016
It's been almost a year since we first met
i know our time together was short
Yet I still miss laying in your bed

I miss all of the simple things
Riding to Walmart in your car
I miss the play fights and how my skin would sting

I miss how I felt with you, safe and mature
You saw me as a person
And our love was the first time I felt sure

I miss the feeling of it all
The lack of anxiety because you made me feel at home
You helped spread my wings and help me stand tall

I forever wish
I could feel this again
Feel you again, hug and kiss

The feeling of your cold hands
Against my warm body
And it would tickle and we would laugh and together we'd stand

I want to kiss your neck and make you squirm
Mumble under your breath and nudge me away
But I'd continue and away you'd turn

So respectful, protective, amazing
My mom is crazy about you
Even now, her love for you is blazing

It's been a year since our first escape
And I'll forever wish
To float away with you to our own secret place
Oct 2016 · 1.3k
I Love Her.
Merrimae Oct 2016
I love her.

With every inch of me, since day one.
When her hair is messy.
Uncombed and curly,
Pulled back into a sloppy ponytail
That falls so chaotically across her shoulders.
With several strands pulled out, framing her face.
A cigarette delicately tucked, safely behind her ear.

I love her.
After she wakes up.
Eyes blackened from her obsessive and excessive use of makeup.
With awful breath and resting ***** face,
She is Beautiful.

I love her.
When we stand outside.
And rays of sunshine illuminate her brown eyes,
Turning them into endless vats of amber,
Untouched by man.
Glistening until the end of time.

I love her.
When she is curled into me.
Sleeping deeply and soundly,
Snoring louder than my thoughts,
Shaking and Twitching from whatever goes on in her beautiful subconscious.

I love her.
With no expectations of reciprocation.
I understand I do not fit the criteria due to inevitable reasons.
One day I will, and it will be beautiful.

I love her.
And because of that I will change.
I will become what she needs because if I have her my body does not matter.
She is the one of my dreams.
The one I think about at midday and midnight.
The one my most lovely of poems are of.
The one I have only truly loved.
She does not find me attractive in the way I do her.

But that is okay.
Because I love her.
And one day,
She Will Love Me
I´m in love with a straight girl, and she loves me too but cannot be with me because I´m female.
Oct 2016 · 219
My goal.
Merrimae Oct 2016
I was asked,
"What is your goal with writing poems?"
It would be easy to say fame

But honestly
I couldn't care less about how many people know my name

I just wish to have one person relate
Possibly help them through a trial of life
Make an impact on just one person
Oct 2016 · 434
Merrimae Oct 2016
People act like
The whole world revolves around love
That you need it to survive
Without it, you wouldn´t thrive

But what about when it rips a Son from his Family
When he is in love with a psychotic alcoholic?
How great is Love when it turns him cold.
He hasn´t talked to his sister in weeks.

She was his world
His saviour, his boo.
And now I´m just a faint reminder
In the next town over.

Love is great
When it´s with the right person.
But I Promise you, brother dear,
She is wrong.
Oct 2016 · 380
Merrimae Oct 2016
I don´t know what this is.
Happiness, maybe
I look out the window
Watch fields of snow white,
Passing all too quickly to focus.

Change of scenery,
shades of green blending
Turning into a blur of pure joy

Nature is beautiful
Trees flash, milky blue sky
Melodies louder than our thoughts combined.

Dancing through the states,
worries distorted, only for this moment.
i like this place

Wish i could Stay

Waves of golden race along
Buildings from the day of old
Reminding us of our past
Metaphors placed so simply
So Perfectly Placed

The sun shines through
A cloudy, cracked sky
Clouds with gray bellies,
hinting of the Coming Storm

But with every bit of Rain,
you become closer to the next
I wrote this on a road trip with my best friend and her mom. I was very entranced by the passing scenery.
Oct 2016 · 218
who am I?
Merrimae Oct 2016
My mind
Disassociated from the rest of me,
thinking things my mouth wouldn´t dare speak
Loving things I shouldn´t dare love.
I wish i could decipher it all

My body,
totally different from what I´d like,
arms covered with reminders of the past,
thighs, ankles, stomach
Little lines, some criscrossed
a shade darker than my ivory skin

My soul
broken, yet too strong
confused, yet too smart
young, yet elderly age

it seems to me as though im a contradiction
scared, yet fearless
I just wish i knew
how to clear the blurriness from my eyes
Sep 2016 · 200
Metaphors of You
Merrimae Sep 2016
As I sit and drift,
deeper and deeper into the infinite abyss
Of could´ve beens and would´ve beens,
losing myself with each passing second.
I take a moment to reflect and,
ask myself,
¨Is it really worth the effort?¨

Then I´m puzzled.
The effort of?
I input no effort

I only feel as if I am stranded in the desert,
Alone and Unsheltered.
Lost with no trees to hug,
no light in the dark,
and no guiding shepherd.

As if I´ve been dropped in the ocean,
Cinder blocks for ankles,
just one swift commotion,
and I´m gone

Suddenly, I´m in a forest.
Colors of life flying all around
We´re together again and nothing is wrong.
Hand in hand, you open your mouth to speak,
but all that escapes are screams.

I´m back now.
To the calamity that is reality
There is no escape.
Sep 2016 · 279
4:50 AM Thoughts
Merrimae Sep 2016
The scratching in the wall,
it grows louder each night.
I cant sleep.
My thoughts are rapid,
My words, slow.
How can I stay,
When my heart is already gone?
I wait for the day,
that I finally leave.
No more ties with all the streets.
Free from the memories.
A town where I am nameless.
No reminders of the past,
Only Now.

— The End —