I sometimes wonder when my mind will catch up
Whoever thought us up had something in mind
I never can tell if I’m learning or just surviving
I just hope I’m a chord somebody is trying to find

The sign said the line for life starts right here
I looked down and it was where I was standing
But is it Rome or my own home, how to know?
Maybe it has something to do with not pretending

I don’t have a ticket but it’s playing in my head
But they can’t tell you if you’re the salt or the water
The ocean is beautiful but you can’t drink from it
Whoever made us won’t say why it’s mixed together

I decided a t-shirt was enough of a statement today
But I had to be sure that how I lived could be worn
The only thing that made sense was either a word
Or a picture of a man dreaming of being reborn

You had to tell me the limits of my capacity
It was as if you told me tomorrow was my last day
I can’t question myself all the time or else what?
That’s the choice, a question or a time to feel okay

I saw a man shrug who could make people happy
He walked away thinking he missed his chance
Everyone else wished they were him for a moment
But whoever made us won’t let us wear his pants

The things that hold tight the most can’t be seen
The light forms at the line between heaven and earth
We can choose which way to go while darkness decides
The only path to take is the one that challenges your worth

Every promise I ever made  was important in the end
I never told anyone things like I would except if they did
We can believe in nothing and rearrange furniture at will
But breaking a promise became a life from which you hid

When can I go to the place we dream?
I can’t see through stained glass windows
Or read words in a faraway language
But I see the tears carving their story
And the images reflected by the stream

It was the fear of living with their choices
The world sought its own refuge
But it was not bricks or stone fences
Instead it was a word that built the wall
And the glory of hearing their own voices

When can I go to the place that was promised?
From meal to meal I travel with a memory
I could say this is who I am but is that true?
All I know is that I could only feel pain inside
They said they were only being honest

I was so tired of being told how to be
It seems they cannot live with their own
I only wanted to talk about your blessings
They were so small I was ashamed of my own
I had forgotten that a breath is the life for me

A key or maybe just a spin
It’s a place where no man has been
You forgot why you put it on
Is it because you said never again?

It didn’t go your way
I don’t care is all you could say
You forgot how you cried
Maybe you’ll remember that someday

A dream, it reminded me of you
It wasn’t real but that’s what dreams will do
If only you could meet me I don’t care where
Just bring your locked heart to me
I’ll make you wonder why you put it there

A game, you made up along the way
But everybody left nobody would stay
They asked you about that room
You said it’s not a place where people can play

He didn’t mind being outside
He didn’t know what you couldn’t confide
Why did you think that was ok
When the only love you knew is still locked inside?

A dream, it reminded me of you
It wasn’t real but that’s what dreams will do
If only you could meet me I don’t care where
Just bring your locked heart to me
I’ll make you wonder why you put it there

… and though it became void and formless
I knew that it was good
for the same as my conscience lives
so to as the light upon our bodies would
if only we could accept it into our lives

… as I looked upon silence where there was sound
I knew that it was good
for the same as I had witnessed a moment before
so too the shadow upon the moons face should
revealing how my soul bleeds as my body in the night

Are you next to me so you can safely sleep
or is it because of the things I mean to you?
I need to know it's not the morning you want
but instead your hunger is only for me too
it's so easy to lose myself in your love
can you hear the roaring sounds that say so
how can you sleep when waves crash all around
knowing rip-tides will never let your love go
as soon as you are close to me it begins
the night is where our life together becomes true
it's not walking in the light where everyone can see
instead it's the things you do that make me love you
desire will never sleep because it cannot live like that
it is only the desperate sounds of your voice that I hear
I know it's true because a whisper is quiet longing
like the silent desperate moon drawing the ocean near

I want to be a man of humility
To speak truth without hesitation
Though holiness I cannot represent
It is instead to seek my liberation
I wear no indication of status
Though I walk head held high
I cannot pretend to be courageous
As I have no cause for which to die
I am no more human than you, or less
And I begin anew as one who cannot lose
Because I am a man of self-respect
To share with you the same as I choose
Let no moment pass without a heartbeat
Hear the drum and feel its echo
For there is to be no shame between us
Whether we live in castles or the ghetto

What we know of ourselves is our measure
But only if we are true to our past
To what temptation would we entreat ourselves
If into our own life are the lies we cast
The forces among us only know to divide
We cannot reach for God without a fight
We cannot see color in the same light
We cannot give to others our own right
That is not where I wish to walk and breathe
Instead it is where the poor live in a new land
It is where they struggle but know how to love
It is their feet I wish to wash with my own hand
There is no purpose other than hope
Not to gather for myself, but instead to spread
But what can I do except drop rocks into a pond
To watch forgiving ripples bring life to what once was dead

It was a lovely tree
Green like a meadow all around
Bark as thick as pine cones
Ants crawling without a sound
Covered by birds of a feather
Whistling chirping  to each other
The sun and moon overhead
Taking turns from one another
Yes it was a lovely tree
Peaking above white plumes
Always looking for blue skies
And room to grow for its blooms
But it wasn’t long in the life of a tree
That its branches held aloft
Birds that seemed of another sort
Sometime landing not so soft
The air around it was free
But not so much the tree
Though it thought it was
Only the wind could really see
As each new bird took its place
Each tidal pass could only sigh
As storms of horizon shadows gathered
But a bird will perch no matter who may cry
There are only so many leaves
There are only so many ways to live
And as each feather sought its own
The tree wonders how long it can give

when the pain is so great
they will say anything
how can you know what is true
when the pain is so great
he will say he loves you more than life
or that he planned the operation
because torture is not about truth
but only to relieve the pain
it is not who they are
what they have done
or how they wish to live on after the pain
neither is quiet loneliness God’s blessing
your job becomes who you are
going home a curse
especially if you do not live alone
you cannot understand
why everyone seems to be happy
but do you learn how to live with two choices
to not say anything you wish to say
to feel nothing when you do
without pain or loneliness
or do you instead
say everything
about anything at all
to the one you love
without remorse
not because of pain
or loneliness
but because you are alive
unafraid to be who you are
as you are now at home
at peace
you

Up early without sleep
the worries of yesterday no longer venturing near
traveling the waterways instead
while the children slept
her husband was drawn by the war
every mundane moment
became precious
would it be the last (?)
if only a glass of milk could remain so comforting
she drank it slowly
hoping it would last
for once the glass touched down
the time for comfort would be past

Hands on the counter
she stared into the yard full of browning grass
winter approached slowly
but nature knew how to play its part
humanity fought her instincts
survival never meant more
no matter a migrant
or a hostage of a casualty of war
the tile floor was cold
she wondered of the man who troweled the grout
would he have known of the world’s misery (?)
but he was already forgotten
not even a footnote of history

Her child rushed along
questions bounding alongside
is the war over (?)
while muffled fireworks in the distance gave the answer
she never knew she had a gift
only to love brightly
but when fear became her night light
she realized her strength was real
there were no formalities to life
only the calm reassurance of purpose
and it was her hearts content
for breakfast was no longer her crowning glory
instead it was to calm life’s discontent

Each cigarette lit by weariness
nothing of another day to consider
only to sit down to talk of pleasure
within the cup of afternoon tea brewed by time
was a moment
a moment unlike any other
she wanted to write in her journal
if she could only find it
every thumbed corner of each page
no longer new but living instead
she thought while her children cried for brave men
she told them it would be over soon
but her prayer was for courage to never lie again

but it was just a picture
or a painting

Yet I saw people walking
a funeral procession
or a celebration
I’d never walked like that in a crowd
not for a cause
or a memory
I wanted to care as much as they did
but it was just a picture
or a painting
It was in another part of the world
across the ocean
or the street
That part of the world is different
I’m not there
I don’t know them
It could be as bleak as ancient snow
from a memory
or a picture
Buried within five hundred pages
of a lost book
that was subversive
But that time passed long ago
the author is gone
as too his outrage
And so the minuet ended abruptly
they were disappointed
or just not ready to stop
The world was outside the window
sadists bent on order
no matter the cost
The room was silenced as they left
the sight of love comforted them
and they knew where it went
Away… always away
inside another heart
another life

It was just a painting though beautiful
how could someone know
how could they believe
But there was no time to touch the paint
it was only time for dreams
and to heal open wounds
It was time to think of a branch tapping a window
while a child wondered
wondered of his fate
But who would make him care beyond himself
he had a heart
but it was just a picture
Or so I thought
it was just a painting or a picture
yet I wept for its life
It was as real as life itself
it reminded me
of people I never knew
I wondered if he cared about others
he needed to hear a song
played by a genius
Would it stir his soul beyond his doubts
to write of suffering
and the tragedy of love
Like the people who silenced the room
because they were not in love
they had only danced together
Things are not as they appear sometimes
especially a painting
or a picture
You don’t know why they did it
the moment is gone
as is the feeling
But so many want their suffering known
does it help them
or all of us
We have to be able to care
and not assume
that it was their fault
That is why a painting is so much better
it’s not real
so suffering is not real
There is no suffering in the imagination
how could there be
it’s just a thought
But what imagination cannot think of others
could it ever be a painting
or a picture
Could it ever be if the painter didn’t suffer
for others
for strangers
Could a boy that was never alive change the world
a boy who could not sleep
because the world spoke plainly
Outside his window ready to enter when asked
but it was just a painting
or a picture
The artist neither closed her eyes or her ears
not to life
yours or her own
It was no longer a moment of gaiety
the boy was her own
and she wept
Though it was just a painting
or a picture
of her own imagination
And she wanted his father to say these things to her

"I want to tell you something
I’m in love with you
yes it is true
I see you smiling
but I want you to listen
this is the time for me to tell you
I can’t sleep
I worry about it too much
and I wonder if I can make you happy
So instead of all that I just want to say how I feel
we can talk about life later
but I want you to know that in this time in your life
I was in love with you
and it was real
and it was true
I don’t want to think about it anymore
I just want to say it
and I want to say it to you
In my dreams you never say anything
because I’m chasing you
for to love someone like you is a dream
A dream that is about finding myself
wondering if I am worth your life
because your life is everything to me now
And I know how important it is
I want to make you feel alive with passion
and I want you to think of me
when you want to be like that
I want you to think of me
when you are ready to give yourself away
when you want to fly there
To a place so high and far from your past
to a place that not even you could dream of
And when you give yourself away
it will be into my heart
there is so much room for you
But I wonder if it is enough
the weight of loving you is upon me now
but I’m ready my love
Because I love you
and now you know
because it was time"

but it was only a painting
or a picture
And she painted until her heart bled
and her hands
and her eyes
She bled until the painting became a curse
she could not look upon it
for it was her life
We would gaze upon it and gasp aloud
because of her capacity to suffer
and to tell everyone of it
But it was not to protest but to draw us near
for we were to numb to her heart
and to the wars written about long ago
It was incredibly personal
more than we would reveal
to anyone not a poet
She didn't care about this anymore
it was the only way to be free
though it was more than we could bear
But this, this was the way home
walking together
in a crowd of flowers
In common cause with her imagination
for we too wanted to live
inside a painting
or a picture

So someone would remember

I want to take a trip back
I hope it’s not too late
I never seems to have the time
But a memory will always wait
The words feel the same
And they always will
If they are gone, the story is complete
If not, then there is time still

It’s just to be in the same room
It’s not that I want something
Though it may seem like nothing
To me it would be everything
I don’t have to think of regret
And there is nothing of haste
Because what happened before
Is a faded line I can always retrace

I’m going back now
To a time called when
To a place called then
And today I think of it again
I can see it with my eyes closed
I can hear it in a song I compose
And though I bleed from thorns
Still, I can always smell the rose

It’s not the time to say goodbye
That is what we say every day
Within each mind’s eye we travel
Will it be the last thing they say
But to see a moment already played
Is to know how much it really meant
And while you wonder about me
I tell you that meaning is where I went

I saw everything my love
But there was no revelation
Because I already knew

Our last supper together
Was not one to remember
Except that I do remember

It never felt that way before
Though we were able to smile
Our memory traveled far

The truth was no comfort
A lie made it easier to bear
There was always another day

I walked to an empty table
Only my glass would follow
Your strength became my thirst

But I wondered about you
Allure made men weak
Was desire all that you were?

I thought of the distance
Like traveling across the sea
I asked if it was the same for you

But I was talking to bare walls
Everything I painted was gone
You were looking for a different brush

I watched you laugh
Your friends made you forget
Though I held your hand

You were once an ornament
I loved that about you
But now what?

Even though I knew you
I felt very strange
You didn’t need me

When you lose the love
The love they felt for you
Then you understand why

Go ahead
Move the camera closer
Either eye
The both end up in the same place
Even though they don’t look the same

There’s a dream in there
Can you find it
Or is it your imagination that must do the work?

Go ahead
Talk too loud around me
I used to be you
But it took me to a difference place
I wonder if you’ll ever make it there

A man said I sound like a bird
And though he cannot remember
What it meant was he knew life while I could only pretend

Go ahead
Walk on by as if we never met
I know everything about you
But still I want you
I wonder if he can take it like I could

You trampled through my life
But I didn’t notice the mess
Until you left and I realized I wasn’t ready to clean it up

I don’t know where it goes from here other than the world I occupy by day

Should I learn more about life
Or just about myself

Maybe I am life already

I could look back and try to remember
There are so many moments and facts
I’ve gathered them up
All around me
But I know so many more have been left behind

Some by intention
Some by folly
Some by absolution

How did I become so serious?
Is that what being an adult is about?
Everything well considered
But for how long?
It seems I am preparing for something
Yet some of my best friends are already gone
How can I still be preparing when they are already done?

If I only could know if my experience is enough
Should I find something new?
What if I traveled to where God is life
Or read a book
Or write another one

You never know what you know until you have to explain it
If only they would listen long enough

Seeds that were me
Layers of soil that are the years
Rocks scattered full of stubbornness
Creeks flowing then drying up like uncertainty
Not a walk that could be imagined
Only lived

I thought about the next conversation
But how meaningful can it be when I must continue on
The next ten years must be the same as the last

Currency
Security
Currency
Security

What could one say to save a life when it so hard to live your own?
What could one say to guide a life when it is so hard to find your own?

To be on the ocean
In a storm
Where horizons move faster than chance
And depths hold knowledge we cannot imagine
Because we only know how to earn a living

I wonder if my smile is the same as someone you are considering
Is he so much better than me
Does he know how to love a woman
I know I do
But I’m not sure if I can make you feel that way again
It’s because I’m looking at a book
And a map
And cloth that covers a woman who is trying to be holy
And that is what I cannot know
If it is the next thing I do
Or all the things that I have done
What will tell me if I already know enough
Enough to tell my children they are free
To tell them how to survive
To tell them the world will never be like they dream
Except if they step over rocks
And leap over creeks
To know that stubbornness and uncertainty will no longer matter
It only requires desire
The desire to change
The desire to take a chance
Because what are we waiting for anyway?
To avenge ourselves
Or to make someone’s life better
However slight it may be
What will they remember about you my child
Will they smile at your empathy or frown at your indifference
You see?
The choice is all about desire
The desire to care
And the book
Or the God
Or the woman
They already know these things
As do I
As will you

I knew she would laugh at my vague sonnet
I spoke too often for anyone to respect my intent
I had wondered if anyone could live contentedly
Knowing the past grants no privilege for our life
But she was smart enough to ignore idealism
A home cannot be built between water and sand

I wondered what form of pain humanizes us the most
The most gifted among us smile often enough to please
The space they own between each personal shock is wide
The rest of us are consumed with meaning and culture
But crowded sidewalks are angered by my indifference
While her heart felt the the things that a crowd ignores

She knew everyone is one instant away from loneliness
It’s the realization that all we are is what we have done
Who we are is nothing that anyone can speak of
We both looked through a lens refracting the noise
But I only knew how to bend light to please myself
And as she looked away once again I wondered why

By now she found the light of truth killed shadows
It was time to decide whether to let it wash over her
To face away from the sun was to become a prism
She realized each color was every possibility for life
Because the light that remains is for those who can dream
And a shadow is light that refuses to love someone else

What I’ve heard from the mouths of the men upon which the spirit was laid
Are words once thought spoken only where sins are finally paid
They read with fire gleaned from where they thought the book was stored
But the bush that burned became only ashes that were soon ignored
Will his truth find faith inside the blind?

What I’ve felt while a boy suffered before the eyes by which he was made
Was the silent burning reminder by the light that made me afraid
As leaves fell upon themselves one will live by the point of a sword
And one would live by the winds risen from the womb of the Lord
Will his truth witness what was left behind?

What I’ve said only opened the skin of a woman that bled upon my blade
And as I watched the shroud softly cried waiting while she prayed
It was the lost chapter of a sequel that could only play the same sad chord
But as pages vanished he remembered repentance was its own reward
Will his truth wash away the doubt from my mind?

I don’t want to know how you spend your time
Everybody is in love with someone
How can I forget that you're still not mine?
I see girls dancing and laughing all the time
It makes me smile at all the fun
But if it was you it wouldn’t be so fine
I know you’re walking a different line
You once thought I was the one
I hope it’s not his love that makes you shine
Are you playing hard to get or can’t I read the sign
I need to know if we’re already done
Or are we still two lonely grapes on the same vine

They asked me
Didn't you notice something was wrong
I thought
How can you tell?
I hadn't reached that point yet
I wasn't drinking from the same cup anymore
I had a strange feeling inside
I'd seen a lot of looks cast my way
But not all of them were smiles
It's hard to decide what's normal sometimes
Especially when you're trying to let go
Rejecting life is not the way to know someone
I didn't want to be the one to say it
I thought about being judged
I knew I'd lose that one
Everytime
There's too many things to hide
But it's easy for them to find
When you look for their sins it opens every door
Except when they open you see them standing there
And it's not what you were expecting to see
Because what you didn't notice
Were the things you didn't want them to see
But you invited them in
The fingers that pointed all belonged to you
And they brought them back to you
Because they had no use for something that was wrong

She wondered if she ever made him feel like that
The way he was lost in concentration
Feeling every moment as if it were his true love
And maybe it was
Because she also knew the feeling
And as she watched his face
She could see nothing else mattered at that moment
It was because he believed in what he held in his hands
It would do whatever he asked
It would feel whatever he felt
And when his life was lost because he forgot how to dream
It would send him into the night where he would remember
If she only knew
She was the reason he played

Is the way it turned out meant to be?
I don’t have a choice for my past
We needed something to happen
The love was not lost upon us
But our prayers still need an answer

You were gone before I could decide
You said it was time to walk another way
Your tears told me the truth
It wasn’t our hearts that could say goodbye
Just a life that needed more than waiting

I once told her she was too crazy for me
She said that’s how it works
Being nowhere but in each other’s arms
That’s what it was for too long
The drinks were what kept us afloat

I don’t want to live for another day
I’m learning how to ignore time
It’s too easy to borrow
You might have known this all along
I only know that day never came home

I walked so far
And who I was, I left behind
Then I found something new
And now that I’ve lived this life
The time has come to stop
The direction has become a circle

Is there a God in my midst
Is it what I have already met
Or what has already left?

Who could expect more
To walk inside a dream
And then another
To know what you want
To become the dream

But to wake up
Not wondering what you saw
Or if it made sense
But instead knowing
All the pieces were there
Is it time for a new dream
Or to try to live it after it is over?

Can I really cross the sea
When it won't let me be?
The revolution is the dream
But peace makes my soul free
I can't tell time anymore
What was so far has become today
The eagles I once saw
Are no longer leading the way
Hovering over the waters
The spirit still silently waits
The promise is still being kept
But this time it may be too late

What can be said
An entire religion has answered the question
It has been said
It has been lived
But I have not lived it
And I have not said it
What is left is gripped tightly
Held together by life
By responsibility
But is it unhealthy fight for every goal
Is it when it is not who you are anymore
When the challenge is not achievement
But instead sanity in the midst of someone else’s dream
A dream that is no longer worthy of your own
A dream from which you have awaken
A dream that cannot exist within your own

What is real is love
What is real is love
What is real is love

Where is the plan for this
Is it to walk the streets of a crowded city
To meet someone either as scared as you
Or someone who is not scared at all
Do you tell them who you are
What you have said
What has happened to you
But to which face in which you see do you speak
I could smile at buildings
And at a poor woman cleaning the building
Ask her how she feels
But what if she cries
Should I begin where her tears dry?
Should I begin where her problems lie?
Is it her problems that is love?

Where in the night is the woman who lives in another city
Where in the night is the woman who has heard me speak
Where in the night is the woman who loves but cannot trust

I made her that way

And now there is something else
Is it love?
Is it art?
Is it just to live
With memories
Or with hope?

I have to find a way
Find a way to be in my head with a new dream
But the last one was so perfect
And it ended the way it was written

I know everything that you want
My heart needs to be next to yours
It needs to see you from the inside
That’s the only way love can be sure

But heaven was never as good as your touch
When I see you I can think of nothing else
I want to make love to you again baby
Inside, where my heart and body melts

The last time we walked in the room
You never smiled so much
The only light we needed was in your eyes
While your eyelashes told me not to rush

I tried so hard to take my time
Then you whispered this time it's for you baby
That’s when I knew we really were in love
Even with closed eyes your heart was all I could see

You might think we have nothing left to give
But what you thought you once knew
Was never as desperate as losing you
The only way that I can live
Is to show you the things that were true
And feel the fire that once made you love me too

He thought it would take another mountain
One taller than the last
But covered in ice
Frozen with images of his past
Would it be another fairy tale about love
Or a story yet to be told but one that needed to be said
But straight talk was what she wanted
So he had to remove the confusion from his head
It was about making a decision
It was about making a mistake
What time in his life was it ever exactly right?
He always seemed to speak one second too late
But he knew he had to stay up all night
The plan was to go anyway
Sleep was not something that would cooperate
He didn’t want to just dream about what he would say
It was a word that he knew so well
It was a word she was ready to believe
Every slippery step stared back at him without remorse
But his heart told him this time he would never leave

To have done something, have you learned anything
other than the fact that it could be done and it could
be done by you; the next day do you tell everyone,
do you expect deference or do you quietly wonder
about the need for accomplishment without insight;
what if they carried you off, joyously praising you for
something that made them happy though it did not
change their lives; would it mean so much to you to
have changed their feelings for a moment so deeply
that they would remember it forever even though
it was not enough to enable a child to be fed by it’s
mother who cannot pay the rent on time; would you
rationalize the use of a tool that had no morality or
virtue except the blankness needed to achieve the
result so desired by those who cannot achieve it
on their own; or maybe a body so desirable that
you cannot hear a word she says because what is
that compared to the fantasy that you have built
around her face; it is only a matter of knowing why
you live and beyond the crashing times of your life
what you would do that could make time meaningful;
can you make up your mind to share these things
with me; can you make up your mind to waste time
while we create feelings that only the hand of another
can summon from within; can you tell me how you
feel without fear of the retribution of honesty that
someone who only exists not to learn but to consume
would deliver; no matter the day or the time, you do
not know if it is the beginning or the end, only that
the next decision you make could be the one that
changes your life if only you can discern between
growth and mere existence

While the moon bears our blood, we
think about someone we just met but
only until the moment the trade winds
blow the dust aside

An empty saxophone fills with air, playing
sadly until the moon stops to listen

He had to leave early to care for his life
He told her he needed time to fall in love
He thought about the way she smiled
He wanted to believe in her instincts
Was it her imagination that became impatient
Or the way he wiped her brow with her scarf?

It doesn’t take long to know, ships that
pass always remember; looking through
a silk scarf feels the same way, the airy
fabric enjoys trading the dust thread for
grain

Lonely circling bleeding making people
fear for their faith; allure matchmaker,
lovers together, feeling the tides within
crashing upon their desires

It was the time to be bold
Her eyes said so

But scarfs can fool a man and dust can
fool a sparrow; how would he know the
difference when it was his imagination
that must decide between moons passing
through shadows and misty eyed longing
that for a moment begged him to stop
sailing by

All our life is finally here
It really is true
I’m going to tell you now
Though I don’t really know you

I want to tell somebody
The things they want to hear
Maybe if I write it down
I will be ready to whisper in your ear

It’s time to listen to the moon
Though the silence is so calm
It’s my heart that you feel

In the last days
Everyone wonders
What was it about
So many times
I felt so twisted
I felt so much doubt

All our life we dream
And we wait
But you walked by
While I held open the gate

It’s time to listen to the sun
The warmth made you smile
Because my heart is real

In their hands they held nails to end a life
in the pale light of his final hours;
In their hands they held books that told them so,
forgetting who preferred flowers;
She gave an apple but we took it too literally,
it was her love that opened his eyes
They wanted to believe that what came about
was truth but they only told lies;
Who will be sorry before God when what was
proven was nothing they could accept;
It was never so plain except that the law was
no comfort to those who wept
In their hands they held their own judgments
because it was all they could see
And in the pale light of the morning sun he
saw forgiveness was not to be

I didn’t want a booth
Not this time anyway
I wanted it to be out in the open
Sometimes it’s better that way

The drinks didn’t matter
Or the song I heard them sing
After the first glass
You drink whatever they bring

It took all my life for her to know
But she only wanted to talk about tomorrow
I said how can we know about love
When all you think about is your sorrow?

What can you tell me about love
It’s as if only you know about forever
Yet the demands you have place upon me
Tell me that love’s name is still never

I wanted to reach across and touch your hand
But you reached for mine first
I saw you smile and softly speak my name
But you left without quenching my thirst

It took all my life for her to know
She thought I only knew words to borrow
The love I gave her once was enough
But now only promises can love her tomorrow

How do you know who I am
Or what I stand for
I look ordinary
No dreadlocks
No paintings on my body
No rings piercing my ear
My eyes aren’t weary yet
My skin is white
I am educated
I have a piece of paper
I wear cotton clothes
Black pants
A clean shirt
I look like I am comfortable
That suffering is foreign to me
So what is it that I can say
When my identity is so plain?
But who must declare themselves openly?
Is it the man who has decided he has become all there is to be?
Is it the man who is unsure of the facts of life that he reads?
Is it the man who gives up his ambition to be what does not pay?
Is it the man who tells everyone the streets are where there are real men?
It is him who suffers most who becomes the angry man
It is him who becomes angry that is liberated
It is him who is liberated who can tell the truth
And so what do I tell you?
I am not him
I have no right to be angry
I have no right to be liberated
I have no right to tell the truth
Is that my identity?
No right to speak harshly of oppression
No right to speak harshly of poverty
No right to speak harshly of hunger
And it is true
I am not oppressed
I am not poor
I am not hungry
So I cannot pretend to be any of these things
I cannot pretend to have that connection
Who do I have the nerve to be?
So I spin a tale that I imagine of a life that I know exists
I think about what it would be like to watch an angry man
I think about what it would be like to watch a poor woman
I think about what it would be like to watch a migration
I think about what it would be like if I lost everything
I think about what it would be like to give everything away
Then I know
And I am ashamed
I know I would not survive
And so it is not because I am not poor
It is because I wouldn’t know how to live
Like they are able to live
Without hope
But with life
Without respect
But with pride
Without relevance
But with identity
Because they know who they are
The chosen ones
Who have the right
To smirk at those of us who visit the poor on a field trip
And then go home and forget
Forget them
While they remember us
The soulless ones
Without the knowing of anything
Without the knowing of how to live
Without the knowing of survival
Without the knowing of will
Without the knowing of who we are

Mental processes so deep, bathing
alone at the bottom of the ocean,
like a baby before his mother ruined
him; a book before it’s opened; right
yesterday, wrong today; fundamental,
primary, calm before a tragedy, simple
before complexity; knowing the first
step may be wrong in the pursuit of
intent, but living easy in the fragile
consequence of decision where
coherence need not beg permission
to venture forth into bemused oration,
the stimulation of provoking thought
and triumphant rejection of legalisms
cleverly stated to establish the guilt
of an innocent

Underneath the deluge of our impending
life our fears seek sanctuary within the
mind or is it a place to avoid leaving no
room for kindness which must take refuge;
we want the right to make a statement
without fear for do they have any concept
of our problems; but I do want to understand;
justice was always known but only as it
pertained to me; but though I thought
about transcending difficulties it was
something only about myself instead that
of others; I only wanted to live within the
justification of my happiness

If I were your lover could you learn from
me or live knowing that I disagreed with
you on something so vital to you; could
you believe that my silence does not
conspire against you but instead is my
journey towards sanity as I must work
things out without further intervention
by the interests of someone who may
or may not feel agreeable with the musty
smells of the books that line the walls
of my mind; could you allow me to
contend with the past even though
everyone else has decided to move
on with their lives?

Are you the type who would follow
the law no matter how far it may
stretch your heart; but if allowed to
make your statement would you know
why you uphold what corrupt men
decided was just; I wonder if the ground
upon which you walk is worthy of my
worship when it is not the ground upon
which I lay but instead upon your good
graces that I must beg, otherwise I might
change my mind about what is just and
what is merely expedient

To be responsible for your actions
without regard to ambition or wealth;
you may choose the direction; you may
change the direction; it is your choice
alone; or you may delude yourself of
what is right in the name of your own
greatness; that anonymity and a humble
life is somehow the same as prison; what
we have done is to make someone feel
insignificant for honoring the most
significant virtues we all stand for,
truth and justice; yet it is true that truth
need no representation from a skilled
jurist as even a child can know what
his own eyes have witnessed; but
would it be altered by the times in
which he lived or would logic destroy
his small mind and bend it so that he
may be reduced to choosing between
nightfall or a shadow

Would it occur to you in time or is it
wise to learn from another to know
what is true, but if you wait until your
own goodness or awareness of another’s
pain reveals itself to you may be too late;
it may be that you cannot cross the river
so while you wait on the evil side you
must know how to recognize the good
that must live while it too waits for the
promised land

Do you know wrong to be wrong
without exoneration when compared
to greater wrongs; would you argue
against guilt if they spoke in favor of
that in which you believe; who would
be willing to tell the truth knowing their
life will be examined thoroughly; but
you must bring it forward, to endure
the indignity of a merciless soul search;
reason exists solely to defend against
depth that would bury the truth; what
way of life would ignore these things; it
is the life of fear that makes us choose
the wrong things in the hope that
good exists somewhere underneath
the crushing weight of the light to
which one day we will surface

It does not require riches to smile
Or poverty to cry
It does not require a fool to make you laugh
Or a wise man to make you think
For whatever it is you believe
The next person you meet may change your mind
And the next heart beat you hear
May change your life

Hope cannot live for a reflection
When a shadow always seems to follow
Your misty watery eyes warned me
About clouds that stretch as far as tomorrow
I saw your image skip across the water
How could something so deep be so shallow
But when the rain shattered the glass
I realized you only wanted me to see your sorrow

You're like a rainbow
It seems I never see you
But first the rain must fall
Bowing before your beauty
Reminding it why the sky blue
It's not a *** of gold
Or a place to find
It's what you try to hide
Until your tears are dry
Then you show me a sign
It is more than I can bear
To be apart for so long
Parched without love
Until you finally open up
And show me that you care
You wondered why I look
But I wonder about each cloud
Will it be you I finally see
Or will it be another night
Where whispers cry out loud?

The animated mystery
Inside every sunset and crescent moon
An optimistic journey
While the shadowed silhouette
Covers an empty spoon

In the cradle’s motion
Destiny is determined for the chosen few
And to what devotion
Or earthly friend
Can the poor turn to?

Living below the surface
Of human consciousness and material worth
With no political office
To end hopelessness
On this mean earth

Nothing but misery
And alienation covers their injured minds
Caring is a political primary
With insincere oration
Leading the blind

No law of value
Can nurture a child or free it’s mother
No white statue
Of truth defiled
Will care for another

Groomed for a process
Ruthlessness assumes advantage gained
It is through applied duress
And forced subordination
That wealth be obtained

Scorned at birth
Exploited and discarded under a cross
Venturing forth
With faith to depend
On an ancient promise

With grace upon them
And love showers as never before
The masses of poverty
Of whom you never knew
Are free of your violent war

You can change your life
You just have to begin
Today
Of course, it will take time
Do not dwell on failure
Or mediocrity
It's not a contest
Think instead of today
Then tomorrow
When it becomes today
Do not ask why there is dirt inside a coffee ***
Or how long the drought will last
Don't shout at a cactus because it's not a rose
These things do not matter
And they won't stop you if you will only begin
It is not a matter of comparison
For though what one man can do so can another
But to what degree
And under what condition?
It is only for you to choose to be who you can be
Not what they can be or were
For though we know who was once great
The also knew who was greater than them
And yet they continued on
For they had to live in that way
The way you wish to live
But you must have the courage to begin
To call yourself an artist
Or an athlete
Or a cook
Or a connoisseur
Or a lover of life
And you are
Because you have made that decision
So now go
And learn about your new life
Wake up thinking about it
From now on
But not talking about it
Not right away
Wait until you know you have the will to change your life
And you will know when you are involved
When you want to be a part of it everyday
When the challenge of it means something to you
When you no longer care about failure
But instead you care about creativity
And the love of your new life
And the love of being simple in your new life
Because it need not be sophisticated
Or complex
Or flashy
Or justified
Except to your own heart
For who you have become
Is who you were always meant to be

I require no suggestion from Satan to be wrong
or to hurt someone; there is no one or anything
so shallow in my life that I would seek blame in
the underworld

I seem to be looking for the instructions in dark
places because words of wisdom are unneeded
in the light when a smile cleanses my mind of
all doubt

It is so that I cannot see what I must know
when I need it most because true darkness
does not provide a beautiful warning of
it’s approach or leaving

It seems we must walk with an arrow broken
off inside of us; the bleeding has stopped but
the lesson learned and the memory is always
at hand

I’ve been summoned by life more times than
I can count but each time it was only to remind
that I have more time; for every worry, I received
forgiveness

Was it the lies that I told or the one’s that I
believed as I searched that determined my place;
to live remembering the love of a friend as I watch
them begin to love someone else

if I don’t understand your intention
or approach from the wrong side,
it’s only because I’m trying to decide;
is it that I believe in your soul or only
your flesh and blood;

hard dreams die too easily if what we
desire is something we do not understand;
perception of what is true may never reveal
itself because fear of rejection is more
powerful than the courage to tell you how
I feel without expectation

i could never understand why you are
the way you are, I can only try to understand
if it is the same way that I am, without
questioning it; I’m not looking for the
answers from you, I only want to see if a
way of life exists near you that is natural
to my own

i watched you paint a canvas even though
I never actually saw you do it; but I could
understand what you felt by the way you
stood next to it, wondering if that part of
your life would endure if not ever happen
again

the exhaustion of revealing the limits of
your creative expression is the same as
the fatigue I feel wondering about pleasing
you;

the thing you never would know is that I
was laughing all week one day last year;
and it was because the world around me
was not trying to pin me down or tell me
what to do

it only was a joke that wasn’t a joke because
though humorous, it was real and taught me
that the best way to trim your sails my way
is to forget all about your soul and just tickle
your feet

She said, “Your confidence is too much for me
But it is the equal of my desire for you
She said, “I can’t see where I fit into your life”
Why is all or nothing all there is for you?
She said, “I can’t give away what is not whole”
But what we feel tonight is even stronger than you
She said, “You can’t give yourself to someone”
Will you pretend with him what I have with you?
She said, “I’d rather not start what we cannot finish”
So you’d rather wonder than know if I would love you?
She said, “Everything you say is only so you can walk away”
Why does fear make you want me to say I do before I know you?

There are so many things,
so many things we don’t know;
they weren’t written in a book;
they're not from long ago

There are so many things
we do when we’re alone;
it’s in the life of a man
to be honest in his home

There are so many things
that we shouldn’t say,
but sometimes our words
are the dreams they pray

There are so many things
that we should do;
start by being honest,
end by being true

There are so many things
that come back around;
if you don’t believe,
you’ll never be found

There are so many things
that make us quit;
but if you keep trying
you will know your spirit

There are so many things
that we all do
Is it just me?
Or is it you too?

There are so many things
that make us free;
but if you live in sin,
then it’s the same for me

There are so many things
that blocked the light,
but an eclipse in space
is not why we fight

There are so many things
that we cling to,
but I let something happen;
I forgot to hold onto you

As their lips neared the shores of chance and promise
He stopped the water and swept the sand clean of candled muses
The wind swept air paused for them to decide
They didn’t know about love when they could still feel their bruises
She thought she heard him say the word forever
But how could it be when it was only what she’d given away before
Though he stopped her breath she opened her eyes
She wanted to see what kind of man it was who finally wanted more
The fortress she made was only made of sand
But when he pulled the moon close the tides of love swept it away
And while fires burned inside glowing paper bags
The roar of exploding shells fueled their desires where they lay

The sun shadowed by trees wiping off the morning dew
There’s nothing new about that
Except that the tree finally grew taller than my memories of you
The flashes of light told me what I knew would happen anyway
Because water made the soil too lonely
And your tears do not care for light that reminds you of yesterday

How could I make you love someone who you thought was me
But you know why you did it
And now black clouds dampen the hope that I came to see
We thought what to make of a life that couldn’t wait for us to begin
New flowers grow where I once walked
And what once lived for your love wonders where you’ve been

which man has saved us from a dystopian future;
where each one of us must decide between good
and evil without fear of punishment from the camera
lens or laws that have become as onerous upon our
lives as a world without any law at all; which man
would be genius enough to survive his own evil

no matter the height of our intellectual achievements,
it is the emotional strain of one life in one world that
cannot care no matter how much we pray beyond
gravity’s last remaining outposts that lays waste to
souls that beg to be equal among beings made in an
image that has not been defined but merely assumed

when tears are no longer welcome as before and
when anger serves the strong well, then will the
light know to assume it’s place in the darkness which
hides from the absence of the knowing, undefined
by Gods or beasts that live in the depths choking
on sinks of man’s glorious quest for immortality

if one man knows of the legend if not each jot of
the law then would the spirit hover above his heart;
must he decide between living as a depraved knave
or martyred by unrecorded history, unfathomed
by meaning or the depths that have no end except
his will to suffer for what he once knew to be true?

She was a garden of a girl
Petals falling all around
Being stared at without a sound
Foot prints uninvited
Picked without permission
She felt like a church
Kneeling close to her thorns
They knew only pain
Though her beauty drew them near
But then everyone left
They expected she would stay
While she lived quietly
With the rain and the sun
Sadly knowing she had no name
It was like she was an arm
Or a nose
But instead it was a flower
Or a bee
But what about a life line?
Neither water or sunshine would do
She was alone though you loved her
You only wanted to touch her
And take a part of her home with you
But you left her behind
Because that was how you wanted to think of her
Like a garden for you to visit
While she waited
Devoted to you
But though she felt trampled
It was alright
After all she was a garden of a girl
And not everyone knows what to do

he looks at your door
and the direction it faces is only what you're thinking
will he wonder or will he know?
he liked the way it was painted yesterday
but it's not the color that matters so much to you
instead it's the lock and the key that says yes or no
a knock is like buying new shoes
it may make you feel better for a moment
but what difference to you if it is not you who says so?
no matter the reflection on your countenance
the way into your mind is what he must guess
and if he only remembers yesterday then yesterday is where he will go

You asked me how I could say that
But I ask you why I had to live with it?
Someone ***** my mind of all its innocence
Now the truth is considered a lie

You are shocked by my angry words
But what about an angry life?
Someone made me pay for their violence
Now the truth wants to die

You ran away from my honesty
But what about a broken heart?
Someone ripped it out with their silence
Now the truth is asking why

You said you don’t believe me
It’s too easy for me to sing about love
You said I could say that to anyone
You can’t tell who I’m thinking of

You don’t believe in that kind of heart
How can anyone make things up?
You have to feel it before you say it
How can you drink from an empty cup

But my tears are real
How can I prove it to be true?
I know how love feels
And what's real is my love for you

You pushed me away
You didn’t want to wait
You thought I just wrote stories
I tried to show you but now it’s too late

My tears are real baby
How can I prove it to be true?
I know how love feels
And what’s real is my love for you

I cried when you left
But you couldn’t see what I never wrote

My tears were real
I never could prove how it was true
I remember how love feels baby
And it was how I felt about you

There’s a dog walking around on stage
It’s a calm moment even though the problem is still with me
There’s a family of rocks that got there first
But a swarm of rapids started forming their way to the sea

The flowers were lost in a blind alley
Somebody left them behind so they took root in my heart
There’s a way to accept life this way
But the soil you till must not object to sounds in the dark

The source of the sound understood
It’s meaning came from the way it drew joy from despair
When you are able to be who you are
Then you will know why what we breathe is what we share

The sky inside your eyes
Like the forest in every tree
And the ocean in every shell
Tells of your love inside of me

The whisper inside your eyes
Like the sun in every light
And the moon in every glow
Tells of your love in the night

The life inside your eyes
Like the soul in every prayer
And a heart in every beat
Tells me your love is always there