Be a poet let the words forth.  Reach back and swiftly drag them to the open. Anything you like is what another ear would hope to hear and reasons can't be reason and her eyes can't be forgotten.

I've seen lovely things just get old unused and rotten. Fair or not her hair may be I shall not drown my misery. My sadness floats within my sight and when I shiver deep at night sometimes I wrap arms 'round my gloom and hold her closely tight.

Safe and warm now with my sadness I pry into her secrets and she splits softly sadly thankfully. She says, "I'm not all and never will be never was a say for me you keep me close don't think you could obliterate me give me room I need it baby it's okay when your happiness babe comes over let you walk in front of me I'll keep out of sight and watch the lovely way you kiss her from each shadow and I'll not rush you and as long as you don't try to ditch me or think you could even forget me I will be here when miss happy goes along her merry way and you will wrap your arms around me and remember you like my kiss more anyway."

Do I look okay in this bag of skin?
Does it make my stomach look fat, or my hips too thin?
Do I burn your eyes in my porcelain dress?
Should I trade it for one that you less detest?
I shan't ask again if I look okay
I couldn't undress myself anyway

I need you to understand that
the divine does not become divine
by sitting at desks
my double helix had light shining through the cracks
but that only explains why
there is an ache in my fingers
and a need to run in my feet
as long as there is not only darkness I can make my own way

a spotlight illuminates the desk
at which I sit
I am a soul being carried in a cradle
and my hands keep slipping
my eyes are starting to blur
and they just keep watching
sitting in a sea
whispering
shouting
I can't even hear them

I am writing a script at age 17 that I will refer to again
and again
until I am dead
I am writing my future
and I'm not sure who my arms think they are
but they write me entering stage left
and when I exit stage right my cells will have replaced themselves
and my arms will be different arms
the only thing I can hope for is that they will have held what they needed to

I do not know the girl I am writing about
but she knows all about me
she doesn't hate me
I know this because she smiles when she thinks of me
she loves me
but I am her burden
my decisions
affect her decisions
and that is so heavy for my pen
I still see her light shining slightly through the cracks

she will whisper to me
farther along
"It's perfectly okay"
"I was afraid too"
and we will take solace in our decisions
together

The script I'm writing is for both of us
I just hope we can meet
in the middle

Inhale smoke
         B l o w

inhale smoke
          B l o w

Rushing thoughts .. hows and whys imagining what you're doing right now without me.

Betrayal.

All the things you said and did.

Betrayal.

S t o p

inhale smoke
               B l o w

All the parts of me I shared with you ..
All the little things you do that crushed me
they crush me
you crushed me


inhale smoke
             B l o w . . .   .   .      .         .           .                

S t o p

I'm stronger than this
I know better than this
I shouldn't be thinking this

As the weight of my own fears coming real weight down on me.

* lights up another cigarette*

Inhale smoke
           B l o w

I shouldn't waste my energy on this I know better than this

inhale smoke
         Blow. tears drop down on the floor

Weight of my own emotions on my chest I can't let it go .

I don't care anymore

inhale smoke
      


.. .   .   .   B  l    o         w               .                         .

I’m a creep
When I see the girl I like
I lie
’Cause the feelings are too deep.

When we talk
I only listen to her lips
Those hips
They really know how to walk.

Now I play cool
But I can’t run away babe
No escape
The girl’s loved by a fool.

I’m outta control
Inside I’ve got that motion
Like an ocean
Those waves they drown my soul.

Too scared to tell
Now she won’t phone me
She won’t call me
My life is burning hell

My girl is lost
I have to take that road
Called hope
Maybe our ways will someday cross.

In my reach
I once had that chance
That moment’s pass
All because I’m a creep.

Have you ever dreamed of your prince?
The man who'll save you from the pain.

When the clock strikes midnight
Run
Don't stay,
go.

If you loose a shoe
Keep moving
It's a hint for your prince
He needs it

Don't stay
Remember you riches
They turn to rags
He will find you

Always remember
If it's meant to be
It will be