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time may be the fire in which we burn
but without that flame in the sky we would not be

and with each trip our little blue marble makes
we are given a new chance to see

dawn brings the promise of a clean slate
a fresh canvas of possibility

yet it's the tiny heartbreaks of everyday
that resonate with me

no kiss goodbye
waking up alone
fighting over nothing
friends don't answer their phones

trading life for money
coworkers aren't paid to care
all these expectations
lead only to despair

until the flame is setting and we're cast into the dark
over analyzing time past and future not promised

to live within each moment is the daily goal
being is a burden and yet the only solace

Truth is the product of the pursuit of knowledge.
Though most people, I have found, do not embrace but fear knowledge.
I believe this to be due to the fact that knowledge is something that cannot be tailored to an individual.

What is, is.
Whether you like it or not.
Knowledge can often be daunting and go against the very foundation of everything you hold "true".

But truth is not there to keep you complacent, it's there to drive you, it's what you should live for.
The pursuit of knowledge is an ongoing process, constantly evolving.

One day you can feel without a shadow of a doubt that you "know" something,
and the next day be proven utterly wrong.

This is why it confuses me so that people hold steadfast to antiquated "truths",
catalogued by humans, and passed down through generations.

Like high school gossip, slipping from one grimy hand into the next,
riddled with the stains of ignorance and manipulation.

Knowledge can often isolate.
Spark hatred in those comfortably numb.

But those on the pursuit are not to be feared or confined,
they're to be celebrated and joined!

Because truth is freedom, and it will only unify.

Don't give up, don't give in.

"Every existing thing is born without reason,
prolongs itself out of weakness,
and dies by chance." - Sartre*


What is easier, life or death?
Some people think this is a simple question.
And I'm sure for some it is, a straight cut to one side or the other.

We know so much about human life and so very little about death.
Some would call it an "easy" way out from the constant struggle of existence.
But how many of you here on this world wide web are truly embracing your struggle today?

Are you following "the plan"?
A plan?

Birth, growth, assimilation, "education", indoctrination,
out of the womb and into the classroom,
graduate and start your career,
retire and die.

Isn't everyone proud.

I mean, think of all those soothing, sedating systems
put into place to make your life easier to avoid.

Much like the screen you stare at now.

I've, as they say, "suffered" from depression my entire life,
and as one of those chosen people,
I'd like to debunk the myth.

The loom of death breeds a lust for life
like nothing else I've ever encountered.

You appreciate every little nuance
and at the end of the day
you're grateful.

Unlike so many "happy" people.

But you also know the utter meaninglessness of it all.

And it makes it that much harder to swallow
when everyone doesn't realize the opportunity they have
every single day.

Most are complacent, content as cattle, lined up and waiting
for slaughter.

Until they're looking death in the face
and wondering what the **** they've been doing all this time,
in this line.

But I do not look at those other chosen people who've cut the tie to the physical plane
with judgement, pity, or shame.

Their bravery shines.

Everyone deserves an out, because so often people stay in out of selflessness,
out of attachment and obligations, to friends, to families
but will you deny them forever?

Give them their peace and think of their great example often.

All of life is risk,
you're always on the cusp,
every day could be your last.

Death is the final frontier,
an adventure unknown,
and wanderlust is strong in some.

No one person's personality is unique in any way.

If you've at some time been exposed to a television set, a film, a piece of music, a book, a magazine, or people in a closed environment, then you are not in any way, shape, or form an original person.


We are all just composites of the things we've come in contact with during our lives, we pick up the things we think we want, or need and apply them to ourselves, and sometimes it's a sham, and sometimes it feels real.

The only way to be original is to be put out of society the moment you're born, but even then you may take on the characteristics of the wildlife you come in contact with... so apparently you're ****** no matter what.

I suppose what makes a person unique is the way they mash up all the **** that they've been exposed to,
whether they do it in a somewhat original fashion, or if they do it in a way that is similar to those around them.

Societies fear those who do not take the path of least resistance, and those are the people we call "unique", "different", "ugly", "weird", "stupid", "genius", "freak", "amazing", "loser".

They're the attention getters, and those who seek to get attention.

The ones that take the easy road to be accepted, they're the one's outshined,
and they have to get revenge some way, why not talk ****?

I can say though, that I feel real, I don't feel like I'm putting up a front for anyone.
Most days I like who I am, most days I lie, most days I'm honest.

*Circa 2009

I often wonder how much of human behavior is determined by the society in which someone is raised.

On one hand nostalgia has provided such a warm comfort within the constraints of my culture,
but on the other hand I've always been steadfast against nationalism.

Your society can, and often will, keep you in the dark, america (modern society in general) is a model example of such.

Most people would be content watching television with a fast food dinner of hotdogs or chicken nuggets their whole life,
but try to feed them the feet, brains, intestines, even bugs ground up and processed to produce such national treasures,
and they'd be running the other way, calling for a health inspector who would find nothing out of the ordinary.

It brings into question the very foundations of our reasoning.
What is right, what is wrong, what are we supposed to want out of life?

From eating, to learning, to working, to mating, nothing is set in stone.

If we're going off of what is purely human, the only truths are eat, sleep, ****, and ****.
Sometimes we can't even manage all of these.

These thoughts are filtering through my head now because for sometime I've been seeking a lifestyle "off grid",
and I've had to break down the way of thinking I've been taught is right, crazy has become sanity.

Birth
School
More School
Career
Single long term monogamous relationship
Retirement (if lucky)
Death
"Afterlife"

Now birth and death I can get behind, but as for the rest of it, I'm just not sure.

Agriculture, industrial revolution, private property
all for the advancement of our species, right?

But is this where we're supposed to be, what, who?

What about egalitarianism, what about I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together?
Hunting, gathering, sharing what you have, trading for what you need, one for all and all for one.

What's mine is yours because we are both stuck on this planet, in this time, in this life, and we all deserve to live.
My food, my home, my mate, my heart, my mind, what little we each have to offer,
why would you hoard? To live is to love, am I wrong?

I don't know.
But I'm working on it

People of modern society are blind.

They've lost sight of what it means to recognize and accept basic human emotions.
They're frightened by feeling.

At the first sign of angst, depression, anxiety, discomfort, or anger they're convinced it can't be natural.
It must be some disease or disorder that is causing such pain.
No other answer, diagnose and treat at once.

Children, teenagers, young adults, the middle aged, and the elderly
all desperately seeking some sort of instantaneous solution
for themselves and their loved ones.

Those that they should hold dear pawned off on medications
from those commercials with smiling faces
that they wish to be their own.

While in the end the only smiling faces are those with full pockets.

We as humans must confront the fact that sometimes there is not a light at the end of the tunnel
and adapt, as our species so often has, to our individual and collective darkness.

For without that darkness we would never recognize the light.

Because once was a time when we sought to not mask our pain but to understand it.
( see: Neitzche, Kierkegaard, Sartre, Camus, etc.)

When experience and education actually provided freedom and enlightenment,
where the youth were given tools to understand themselves, their society, and their emotions,
to find themselves, to learn, and were encouraged to ask the important questions, to question at all.

To question it all.

Who am I?
What are we?
When did we get here?
Where did we come from?
Why are we here?

Open your eyes.

I've been thinking a lot about one of the more meaningful and meaningless emotions,
the one they call love.

Is anyone else plagued by the thought that with each new venture
the whole experience feels like a regurgitation of past,
like you're playing the same role with new actors,
the same script, but you expect a different ending?

Even when you know, you know.

You say the same sweet lines, do the same warm actions,
feel the same dark often false pangs of "love".

Can you ever go into love untouched, unjaded, unhaunted by your past?

Your mother, father, lack there of, boyfriends, girlfriends,
lovers had and lovers lost and lovers never found,
you think about them with every move,
you think about who you were, who they were,
how this new you and new they could/should/would be.

Who are you?
When are you yourself?
Will you ever be yourself?

Or are you what they want, what they need, what you want them to see?

Can't we just be?

"I love you."

You're just another you.

The internet, social networking, you, reading this, now.


It’s all about surface value, the judgment of likes and dislikes. It’s all about interests,


"Oh, you like this band?
this movie,
this painting,
this author,
this show,
this *******?"

"Oh, you’re so cool, you’re such an awesome person", obviously.

You will never know me, never know who I am, and with the way this world has shifted,
with the acceptance of this voyeurism of superficial attractions, I’m afraid neither will I.

You’ll rarely know when I’m genuine or when I’m plagiarizing, original or manufactured, real or phony.
But that’s alright, it keeps a distance, it keeps things calm, and safe, and clean.

That’s all we really want. A facade, a dream, the image of our desires, not the manifestation.
We want cold, hard, unbreakable, shiny plastic perfection.

No one wants the warm, moist, moving, ever changing mess that is life, and love, and humanity.

So stay at your computer, stay inside your factory, keep typing instead of talking,
keep pushing instead of feeling, keep staring instead of looking.

It’s okay, it’s alright, it’s now.

*circa 2009