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AnnSura Moon Jul 2015
I lay on my bed soaking my pillow with my tears
I try to remember exactly what is it that I fear
Is it the passing of time or the love that I lack?
Is it the mistakes that I made?
Or the fact that I can’t bring the past back
What is it that I’m afraid of?
Why am I so scared?
Is it the people I've hurt or the people hurting me?
Am I afraid of something I can’t see?
Is it the love of a friend or the loss of a family?
Is it the possibility that my life can end in a tragedy?
What is it that I fear the most?
Is it the hope I have that always seems to die?
...is it me?
Can it possibly be that the thing I fear the most is the thing I can’t be?
The things that I’m trying to understand
The me that I’m trying to be with when I'm sad?
The person I'm expected to be?
Is that what I fear?
I think the thing I fear the most is me...
AnnSura Moon Jul 2015
I’m writing this to you
Telling you were through
I can’t take you any more
Don’t know what I liked you for
All you did was wear me out
Now I know what your all about

You came to me with promise and joy
Now look at all the things you destroy
Families, lives, bank accounts you see
You ruined it all with one little tease
Look at the way you make me feel
Then you take it all and want me to steal

Why can’t you just go and hide
Somewhere far away where I’ll never find
Everyone at home don’t understand
How you rip me apart , then lend me a hand
I keep coming back thinking inside
Maybe this time I’ll make you my bride

Then I sit and wonder why
Why do you really want me to die
Thousands and thousands come to you
Hoping and praying you’ll help them through
Then they fall for your lending hand
Only to realize your nothing but a scam

You promised me heaven and sent me to hell
You ruined my life and then wished me well
Watch me now as I go on my way
I’m washing myself of all of your pain
So you and your power can just leave me be
I’m taking my life and setting it free
AnnSura Moon Jul 2015
Can you tell me what remains
When one is tired of life and tired of living
What hope is left when all love brings is pain?
What good comes from the mind
That feels no remorse from a thousand injuries past
How one can love with fragments of a broken heart?
Tears of misery pour down
From sadden lakes of pain and fall like shards of glass upon my soul
Piercing through the flesh of time and come to rest in loneliness
Can you tell me
When the rain will end and the sun shine bright once more
When sleep will come and memories of grief
Will no longer be the bearer of the insomnia of life?
Can you tell me
When suffering ceases to be my only best friend
Where the green grass grows and where rivers of joy
Flow silently into the horizon and darkness shall be no more?
AnnSura Moon Jul 2015
Black is dark
Black is deep
Black is something in your sleep
Never seeing
Never walking
Always aching from denial
Darkness here
Darkness there
Darkness around me everywhere
Eerie silence in the night
Black can be quite a fright
Black is bitter
Black is cold
Black is something truly bold
Black is dark
Black is deep
Black is SOMEONE in my sleep
AnnSura Moon Jun 2015
How do I tell you I’m sorry
With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?
I do not ask forgiveness.
A comfort I’ll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know
But I cannot find the nerve
To finally confront you,
Face-to-face
To look you in the eye
To face your wrath, your apathy
Too terrified to try
You called me selfish
I turned away
I festered and I fled:
Cutting and wounding
Lashing out
Just to see if you bled
Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To ****** away such a precious gem:
A dark thief in the night
3 months and forever passed
To bring us to this day
When I present these simple words
I never thought to say
The time has come
It’s long past due
To put aside my fear:
Would this confession torture you?
Or have you longed to hear?
To hear those forbidden words
To vanquish all the pain
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again
The months aged me remarkably
Though they have not made me wise:
I do know I erred
Irrevocably
For that I apologize
AnnSura Moon Jun 2015
I'm the girl, who hides behind a smile everyday.
I'm the girl, who has a tough exterior.
But that’s not who I really am.
I'm the girl, who has a lot of problems,
But doesn’t share one thing.
I'm the girl, who keeps everything bottled up.
Sometimes I just need someone to talk to.
Someone to care about me.
Someone to listen to my problems.
Someone to hold me when I cry.
Someone to love me.
Nobody knows the real me.
Nobody knows what I go through everyday.
Nobody knows what I have to do just to make it through the day.
Nobody knows that I'm the girl who isn't who I say I am.
And I'm the girl who will cry herself to sleep every night.
AnnSura Moon Jun 2015
Some days,
I feel everything,
Crashing down on me
As if I’m an abandoned ship
In a ocean of sins.
Some days,
I feel nothing,
A touch of numbness
As a cloak of emptiness
Wraps around my body.
But I don't know what is worse,
Drowning in an ocean,
Or
Swimming to nowhere.
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