The darkness smelt of death and fallen tears
Blood painted to spell your name on the walls
The stench of the remaining fear pasted here
I stand before fiery waterfalls
The darkness eating away at my being
Spend  eternity lost inside a maze
The graphic things I found myself seeing
I thought was only a meaningless daze
Time grew slower creeping by, I went on
I was lost to fight demons of my past
I had no knowledge, was it dusk or dawn?
The path I follow, a mirror of the last
This enigma I find myself alone
Hell is a sinners last and only home

Take me to your heart
Lead me from this place of doom
Take me to your soul

Breath your life in me
Lead your children to the war
Give your life to me

Caves in the dark pits
In the deepest parts of you
Can't take my sight away

It's you that I love
Please don't deny me the same
Don't let my hand go

You hold me in your arms,
Try to keep me from harm,
You try and be my shield,
Every unwelcome guest made to yield,
This pain I seem to feel,
Only thing that keeps this real,
My only reprieve ,
From this tainted world,
Is your whispers in my ear,
Your the only reason I'm still here,
Don't want you to leave,
Surely the hurt I'll receive,
Keep my mind from the past,
My first breath is my last,
Ive given up my sun,
To stay in darkness so I don't have to run,
From the memories that sustain,  
There the core of my pain

Hills on top of fathomless hills  
Where I have built my home
I walked here through the driest desserts
Swam here through the deepest seas
Hiked here through blizzards on mountains
A little piece taken each moment  
Until I reached these hills
At top the rise of the earth
I look out at the universe
I can look out and say
I have been here
I have left my mark
Where it is the most important
I can look at the people building
Their  homes and dreams and goals
And know they to will stand about
Their own hill, they will know that they
Made a difference in the world
Just by breathing the air
By making one laugh
And with that I may stray to the Mothers
Arms
And be sound , knowing I did my part

I wish I was  hollow inside
This pain might be easier to hide
But for now I'll ease my pain in music
The melody will drown my heart
It's fine because I don't want to use it

Hooves to the earth
Wind in my face
Under the sun
Faster must go faster
As an eagle screeches above my head
It reminds me
I'm free...
The plains stretch out before me
Mine for the taking
A kick up my legs
In joy
Nothing had felt so good
As the bare pleasure of running
Running free
Racing the eagle above me
I could hear another's soft breath
It was her
My partner
She whines in my ear
As we gallop a head
Fighting the winds force
We broke through
And raced faster
Until it felt like we had wings
To lift us from our feet
To soar above the land
And dance in the skies

This house was built of love
Every brick every stone
The top could touch the skies above
And there I wasn't alone

Until your hate broke it down
I thought we had it all
Until the bricks lie on the ground
And I watched the house fall

I just sat with our loves remains
Laying in my arms
The hurt and pain that left a stain
Left scars of harm

Perhaps I fooled myself with this
It was to much to believe
That thoughtful night, that one last kiss
It was easy to deceive

So now I'm homeless I walk alone
The shadows take me in
I wait for life on my own
Mournfully to begin

Shadows linger on the white carpet
In the night it hid the blood
That slipped from a cut throat
And seeped out from the side
The stench of her draining life
Filled the dreary room
And walls that used to hold memories
Have been wiped blank
The open window
Lets in the breeze
To bad they muffled her screams
Death remains a permanent stain
On the face of the house
Once happy with pastel walls
Now... Dark and gloomy
The paint runs off the walls
A mourning dove perched on her couch
Cries tears of blood
The crows will soon pick her flesh
And then there will be nothing left

Chocking on my tears 
Wish I could die 
I hate my life 
Blood on my arm 
Pain tingles down 
I can't keep back these tears 
I wish I could leave 
She hates me 
She's so mean 
No matter what I do 
She shoves me away 
I wish this was my last day 
Can't stand this anymore 
I've shut the final door 
Im taking this leap
No one will miss me 
No one will look 
They won't read my book 
My stories to long 
They wont sing my song 
The world doesn't need me 
I should just leave 
Maybe god will accept me 
I doubt it 
No one loves me 
I'm a pity 
Stupid 
Ugly 
Worthless 
All her words 
She doesn't care

I am not afraid of death
It's peaceful like the trees
I am not afraid of death
It can consume me
Lips locked around my viens
**** away my life
Bids away all the pain
Bids away my strife
Tonight I close my eyes
And dream of the afterlife
Tonight I lay to die
And softly say goodnight

Cold beauty
Sing to me
Frosted breath
My lungs carry notes above the mountains
Hold me while we lay  in this bed of snow
Keep me warm so I know
That you will never let me go
In this ice castle we sit
Upon our throne
You the king
And I your queen
We have no gold
No maids to cater to us
No authority over a court
We simply build up riches of love
Your and mine
And combined
We could own the world
Bring forth the wine
Sliding on ice floors
Open doors
Windows high
Believe to touch the sky
Sing a lullaby
Don't let me go
I've suffered enough
My life has been tough
Just keep me warm
And show me love
That would be enough
And my heart would be yours
This is forsure
My king
My king
In this ice castle
My dreams will come true
Without a wish upon a star
Without a wish tossed down a well
You are mine
And I am yours
Because in love
I fell

The drain dripped lazily, like rain water, into the icy bath  
Dark circles dress beneath my eyes like storm clouds
The bathroom is black, except for the light shinning in from under the door
I sit submerged in the cold water, skin numb from the biting temperature
Fully clothed
It's 10 am
Monday
July

I have spent all my sadness
Saturated myself in it
Now all is left is the dark, and the loneliness
Each prowling around my mind
Growling

I stare up at the ceiling
No light
Only vague shapes
Creating themselves out of shadows
And tricking my eyes
Soothing my conscience

My heart is racing
My fingers shaking
Both arms are strewn along the sides of the tub
But despite the solidness beneath them
I'm floating
It's 11 am
Monday
July

Time is slipping by
My teeth are chattering
My toes are gone
My lungs hurt
From breathing

My eyes hurt too
I only feel physical pain
I sink lower into the coolness
My chin hit the surface
Then my nose
My eyes
I'm covered

I open my eyes against my bodies better judgement
It hurts them
But they already hurt
I already hurt
I open my mouth
Water breaks in
I scream
They drown
It's 12 pm
Monday
July

My hair drips into the bath water
I'm shaking
My throat hurts
My arms hurt
Still no tears
Where did they go?
It's 1 pm
Monday
July

The waters red
It's finally warm again
But my body is cold
My eyes stare at the ceiling
My lips are turning blue
It's ...
I'm

Falling from the sky
Like a bird ready to die
Hit in the wing
As heavens choir sings
Fluttering
A bit of life
To stroke my ridged heart
I'm falling
As reality crumbles
Through the hands of the creator
Pulling me through the vortex
Swirling
Twirling
It's dark
And I can feel me slipping
I'm not me
I'm not anyone
Just ...
Existing
Tell the last breath has been drawn
Then flung
Flung into an alternate universe
My being of before
Swept away
Born from what had been
And has been forgotten
If I could die
Burried beneath the earth
I would die
But my soul is immortal
A wound a simple wound
Fatal dose not exist
Fatality is not a factor
Simply erasing the chalk
On the board

Did you know, when you turned away
That through the pain I would stay?
Did you guess that while you cried
I gave my all, the rules implied
And in the blur of the fight
I did what was always right
I fought for you through the flames
I played all those jarring games
And now I'm the one falling apart
And I pray that you'll fix my heart

if only i was the person i pretend to be,
the one that can take the blow
the one that smiles at the joke
the one who doesnt need to wipe her tears
the on who doesnt hear their murmured voices
of disgust, dissapointment
the one who didnt drive them away
if only i could be stronger
take the words shot like a gun
the one who doesnt break a little more
everytime they say things like
who are?
why do you believe in that?
how could you be friends with them?
if only i could bite my tongue
not lash out at them when they attack
only makes them come back
if only i could lift my shoulders
and smile in their faces
be nonchalant of the things they do
but im not, so i guess i rather be me
a fake smile, fake strenghth, put aside

She pretends she's invincible,
She pretends his words don't sting,
She pretends that when he knocks her down,
That she can't feel,
I wish I could ease her pain,
But she avoids it,
She doesnt want anyone to know,
That she might need a hand,
I wish I could be strong for her,
I wish I could take her pain,
I wish she didn't cry herself to sleep at night,
I wish she hadn't had that fight,

I used to think you were special
I used to think you were warm
But now I see your no angel
And you've brought aforth a storm
Raging in my system
Gusty winds set free
I never should've listened
When you used your disgues on me
I've opened up my eyes
Though I wish I hadn't have had to
Your disgusting with your lies
And I wish I'd never met you
I would sigh relief if I could go back
I would re-do this whole mess
I wouldn't  hear my heart crack
I wouldn't be in stress
If only I could put you back
My problems would one less

When your friends are falling apart
And you own a broken heart
Your eyes fill with tears every time it's dark
And the pain inside hurts
You overflow with this need to fade
And you wish you could trade
Your life for the perfect ones on tv
And your dying inside but no one can see
You split your skin again, people won't understand
And you hate yourself for the scars left on your wrist below your hand
But in the dark there looks like only one road to go
And if there's another you just didn't know
And the rain is falling harder than it was before
The thunders so loud it shakes the door
We can't be perfect I'm nowhere near
But maybe if I pray loud enough god will hear
Maybe if I ask for him to just hold me
Like I need to be
These feelings and thoughts will subside
And I can fix myself inside
Imagine that wouldn't it be nice?
But something so easy always has a price

A single flower
Upon your frozen skin
Your skin so pale
Almost so much so to see your viens
Swell and turn purple from the venom
The sky darkens with dark clouds
And the ground shakes and growls
Then lightning dances across the sky
And the clouds begin to cry
Quietly I wait
I watch
And almost so slight not to be seen by the human eye
Your chest rises
And then I feel the sharp tug on my heart
You will live, as much as a immortal life could give
And I would not be alone
Even if it was selfish
I couldn't stop the satisfaction from swelling deep inside
The lonesome days were in my past
Looking down I was finally aware of the silver eyes
Glaring deep into my own
"What have you done to me"

Worthless...
Never perfect....
Shattered tears on floors made of mirrors
Reflecting my every imperfection
Shard by shard
I chip away
A worthless sculpture...
Never good enough...
Never beautiful...
Cracked
Scarred
Mangled
A mess
Scraps thrown together
Eyes look at their reflection
Hatred
Questioning
Infected
Neglected
Self loathing
All in a moment
Close those forest green eyes
One tear slips past
Hopefully the last
We all want
What we can't have....

Dancing alone
My eyes filled by tears
A smile hidden to fragile to be shown
Incomplete
A puzzle left without a piece
Empty hearted
Cold and frozen
The lock hung broken
My hair lose around my shoulders
You used to pull it away from my neck
I can still feel the warmth of your fingers
A ghost of you resides beside me
A rose a top your body
A tear ****** into the earth
Until it travels through the soil
And lands upon your cheek
A smile rest on your pale face
Time will eat it away
Dying beside your soil bed
My black dress scattered along side me
I was asleep while you still sang to me
And now that you're gone
I'm wide awake
Sad that it was this that it had to take
Swimming alone the waves disguise my tears
Slowly every picture we took together
You fade from
I only pray that I will still see your face
I will meet you when I walk the golden bridge
To our paradise

The flowers were tinged in red
The all mighty has fallen again
A dark ring has fallen around the sun
It grows bigger as each day is done

Shadows linger where we used to be
Our dreams casted out into the sea
And the indigo moon is hoisted up high
As it watches the light in our eyes die

As it watches the leaves fall from trees
A place our hopes used to be
In the branches of the old kings and queens
And the Earth opens up wide to swallow me

My lungs fill with dirt decay
In this soil belly where I lay
I feel the soil sink between my feet
In a place where light and dark will always meet
A  sullen smile as raindrops fall in reverse
And I forget all that I have rehearsed
The role I play has gone off script
Somewhere down the road I had tripped
And now my heart beats but it skips

Hopscotch heartbeats and sunken in eyes
Why did the sun and moon die?
Where are the stars that once shined so bright?
The emptiness is just not right

And now I sleep beneath indigo skies
My eyes shut tight
And now I have indigo dreams
They're full of tangled webs and screams

I need you to hold me,
I am so cold
Inside my body shivers
And my soul quivers
Don't disappear
I need you near
I want to feel your touch
Again, make me blush
Your words so sweet
Chase away the pain
Your laugh so soft
Cut away the strain
I love you so much
It burns inside
I love you to the ends if earth
It hurts to say it
You wipe away my tears
With these soft and gentle hands
You hold me so tenderly
It quakes the lands
Your whispers
They taunt me
As your lips
Tease my lips
I just need to know that
This is real
And not just a dream

Inside of this dark place
There's no room, no space
I live alone awaiting tomorrow
Alone with my sorrow

Beside these walls I am caged
There's spilt ink on my life's blank page
The tears burn as they sear my cheeks
Why does pain only feed on the weak?

The ashes of my burnt heart lay on the floor
My heart will beat nevermore
The empty inside I feel
A pain that becomes so real

Overtaking my bones they stage my smile
I remain its puppet for a while
I am trapped inside crying
I am alone inside dying

The words on the page help ease the sting
Though the words won't change a thing
There's a hole where it's missing
So deep I feel nothing can fill

I rest captive between these walls
Break them down make them fall
Save your breath you won't breath long
As your thoughts are turned wrong

Madness in your eyes
And pain in your lies
You're so trapped
Inside

Follow me
Into the sea
That I am swallowed in

Inside your eyes
Where sadness hides
Is where a love begins

I see you there
Your soul is bare
Don't hide away from me

Let down your tears
Unwrap your fears
I'll hold you while you sleep

Just close your eyes
And realize that I am here for you
Don't pull away
Please just stay
And I will stay here too

Sometimes I want to wake up from dreaming
And see that I'm still here
I want to keep on breathing
Open my eyes and have the world be clear
I want the pain to go away
And the world to be right
I want the happiness to stay
And give up the fight
Sometimes I see it in a bottle of pills
Takes my whole being just to quit
Knowing after a handful too many will ****
And my mom will take the hardest hit
I just have to be strong if not for me for them
I've got to pull through and be the strongest I've ever been

Last night I talked to you
It's been almost a year
And to hear your voice...
Tears me up inside
I want to ask to see you
But if I do
I won't be able to let you go
I was crying ..
But I covered up my sobs
Tried to laugh
But I can't stop the pain
That leaks through
You ask if I'm ok
I just say
I've got a cold
When you say goodbye
I feel a part of me die
And realesed it
Through my sigh
Curl up one my bed
And cling to my head
I might just explode
Crumbling like old stone
My heart has no insurance
It was just a loan
That's why I know
I'm better off alone

I shall go with a heavy heart
My heart feels torn apart
But I will live through this haze
With a sigh, to remember those summer days
warm with a slight breeze
nice, maybe seventy degrees
love burns hotter
but this gap between us
has thrown cold water on
the embers
I can only hold my head up
And close my eyes
Ignore your comments
Ignore your lies
I can be strong
And I can be wise
But right now I might need a hand
To help me up
From this rut
I shall go tonight
With a heavy heart
But I will not fight