Why is it the hurt ones that are so kind?
Its like we try
to make up for our own
unhappiness
By making others happy.

We still feel empty inside.

But even the smallest thing
can sometimes make us feel
the suns rays
On our skin.

I miss the way you made me feel,
and the way you made me smile.
The way you'd always say my name,
it made me feel alright.
I miss the way you'd say goodnight,
and the way you made me blush.
I miss the way we could have been,
and all we used to mean.
I'm sorry for all the things I said,
I really was quite cruel.
I don't expect you to take me back,
but at least acknowledge me.
Know deep in my heart,
I beg you to forgive me.

and then i knew
i loved
you

you looked into my eyes

and then in
that moment
i knew
you loved me
too

My all,
true love.

Blue eyes,
don't cry.

Since the day I met you
I've failed to flow rationally.

You challenge my mind
(One of few, my dear),
Yet you play with my heart.

I don't know if you know this
yet
but I would happily turn our jokes
of love and marriage,
our hypothetical daydreams,
Into reality
-should society permit.

But I know these dreams:
my happy nights;
your morning messages,
they are just dreams.

And without you,
I must learn to flow
like I did before.

Since the day we first met
you were a glittering gem to my eyes;
Your cool sense of ease,
that air of mystery.
Or even the music that shaped your life
as you just sat and stared at the skies.

Times came and went,
and I had my fair share of heart break,
but in that moment when I needed you the most,
You lit up my world like the cigarettes you smoke,
And I couldn't have been more grateful for that move you made
At 4am on a Saturday.

Since then both our worlds have begun to unfold
And weave a new pattern- one that's colourful and bold.
The different threads intertwining like our legs
At the foot of your bed.

We're like two puzzle pieces affected by twisted fate,
Stuck outside heavens pearly white gates.
But I can get by with the thought of you
Telling me I was your favourite thing to do
As we laid down,
Oblivious that we were now one,
Instead of two.

I can still remember that look,
The one in your eye when you kissed me,
And the feeling of your hot skin on mine,
And the weight of your body on top of mine.

I can still remember that look,
The one you gave me when we first met,
Asking me why I was back a week late
After summer holidays.

I can still remember that look,
The one you gave me when you first asked me to dance- for a dare- when
We were in 7th grade.

I can still remember how my heart felt,
Like it was about to burst or melt,
Every time you spoke to me or included me, or maybe when I learnt you could play guitar.

I can remember almost everything since the day we first met,
Every interaction, every time I felt my love grow stronger, every little bit of heart break as you dated my friends on a weekly basis,
But most of all I remember when you kissed my lips, laying in your bed, and you said you could lay like this forever and we were in no rush…

You say these spiteful words
(though some say you still love me)
You change into the monster you said
you'd never be,
when you said you'd never hurt me.

But what am I supposed to do
when for the last half-year
its always been
You.
Only you.

And now I'm expected to hold my ground
while you and your friends try
to bury me
Beneath it.
The world has turned
Into the black
Dark
You promised
would stay away from me
This time.

You say these spiteful words
(though some say you still love me)
You change into the monster you said
you'd never be,
when you said you'd never hurt me.

But what am I supposed to do
when for the last half-year
its always been
You.
Only you.

And now I'm expected to hold my ground
while you and your friends try
to bury me
Beneath it.
The world has turned
Into the black
Dark
You promised
would stay away from me
This time.

'This time it'll be different'
You hear a naive
Young girl
say.

Maybe next time'll be different
But not today.

Today
I must learn to stand.
Not fall.
To heal my aching heart.
Not watch it break.

I must learn that there are
Bigger things
In life,
And that just
One loss
Won't- no, shouldn't- shape me for
the rest of my life.
My life is mine,
And yours is out of sight, out of mind.

Because for a second you are ignorant and beautiful…
You start to love yourself;
There's that spark of happiness-
that puts your mind to rest-
and everything they say
is like gold
pouring from their mouths, smothering you,
encasing you in a shell of discernment,
And before you know it's too late.
You're stuck in their little game,
But they no longer want to play.