Estranged in summer rains'

       landscaped  dissolution

       evincing season's discontent

      neath sun's suffocating alienation;

used to rhyme with warmth

             and effulgent delectation,

   emotional realms fizzled in a

              heated  halfhearted sizzle

            of down-pour's restless manifestations

there is something unsettling in the air

maybe it's the sound of thunder rattling the windows,
                               maybe it's the lightning tearing the sky apart
      or the vibration of the earth below my feet, maybe it's her laugh.
                                        
                 ­     something is adding to that fire ablaze in my heart.

                                                                ­                  whatever it is *it scares me

Blue sky
Green grass
Yellow flowers
White clouds
Brown bark

Gray me

Bright sister
Glowing family
Sparkling friends

Dull ***** me

Dear Lord,

I don't ask for much
It's a simple request

You see,
All I want
Is to smile again

But not a fake smile
One that's for show

But a genuine smile
For all the world to know

Amen

Going uphill is hard
But downhill is easy

Holding light inside is hard
But hoarding darkness is easy

Finding peace is hard
But holding chaos is easy

Somethings are hard
**But they are worth it

Why bother?
Talking to me
Encouraging me
Pretending to care
Why do you bother?

Why bother?
I'm gone anyway
I know no one cares
I haven't got delusions
So why do you bother?

Why bother?
With me in general?
No one else cares,
So why do you?

Why bother?

Usually my body and
My mind agree
It's just one thing

See,
My body is ugly
And so is my mind

My body is weak
And so is my mind

My body is sick
And so is my mind

However,
My body looks happy
And my mind is sad

That is where,
My body and my mind
Don't always agree