ji: Poems

ji Mar 2016

The worst way to lose somebody is to be, in his heart, ordinary; to be his luxury turned duty.

And the things he do, he does them to keep up with you, but not anymore to keep you.

This is when you'll know you've lost him. This is when it will hurt. But only until this you'll know you've loved deeply.

Your lips would blister with prayers for his return, but no poetry in the world could touch his soul and guide him back to your arms--

none unless the words are yours.*

P.S. *You'll only truly lose him when you start to think that maybe after all, you've never truly loved him. And that is also when you'll lose yourself-- to your own make-believe.

Unsent Letters would now be my series.

#love #heart #pain #sadness #hurt #romance #true #grief #make-believe #losing

Unspoken

ji Mar 2016

Unspoken

No matter how painful the words I write,
     or how perfectly beautiful they rhyme,
     no phrase, no line, no verse, no time
     or poetry in the world could bring you back.

And I'll miss you forever, like how the shore
     unspeakably misses the kisses of the tides
     as they recede;
     and like the corals on the ocean beds,
     you are all I need.

i miss you terribly.

#love #heartbreak #lonely #heart #pain #sadness #hurt #sorrow #heartache #nautical

Vacuum

ji Jun 2016

Vacuum

Souls intertwined in cosmic romance
Now forlorn, torn lovers of colossal distance,
Dissevered from the entanglement
their flesh had tasted;
Hurled to opposite poles,
sober from perfervid love--
now wasted.

And the one lays off his skin as carpet of welcome
For the other, enchanted on the fibers of another,
Like the strings he strums.

Celestial bodies ****** to eternally savor
the abysmal vastness of space;
For they once were intertwined souls
With eyes that cut through distance's face--
Now dead, floating specks of nothing
but mere lifeless, hurled fibers
of burnt hearts, hurt lovers--
upon endless horizons
like remnants of a dead star--
the glittering, prickly left overs.

#love #broken #death #dead #hurt #romance #stars #space #hopeless #hearts

Valedictory Address

ji Nov 2014

Valedictory Address

I shouldn't have thought of it
Shouldn't have picked up my phone
Nor have told you I'm alone
But I did.

I shouldn't have said hello
Shouldn't have let you know
Shouldn't have said it
But I did.

I should not have told you
How I long to hear your voice--
And heard it above the noise
How my being so craves hue.

But I did, yes, I did
Because I miss you
But what you did-- that's what you did--
Didn't say you miss me too

As wreath of daisies wilt and dry
So do my heart shrivel and die
Drunken with rue-- spirit downcast
Tainted by blues painted by past.

I shouldn't have said it again--
Your cold reply a stab to I--
Rot this soul that's already sunken
But I risked-- a languid sigh.

I shouldn't have done it
Shouldn't have bid
My last 'I miss you'
But I did.

It is not what you said nor the manner how you said it, but the reason why.

Everything will soon be well. Thank you for your stay.

Waltz

ji May 2016

Waltz

I wake up in agony, somewhere today, where my hands fail to recognize the creases on your skin. It started abandoning the memory of what it's like to hold you. And as my fingers brush across your palms, its folds are some unfamiliar braille.

Then a streak of your scent pierces sheer through my conscious and reminds my heart. Suddenly, its beats are the rhythm that used to guide our feet to glide in synchrony in our waltz; it guides my steps, little by little, to when and where it all began: that once upon a yesterday, you held me close to your chest and made me listen to the orchestra of your breath-- until I awake and you're humming a different symphony.

It agonizes me, and my eyes that rummage for the love prints I impressed on your lips, that you hum it so merrily.

//051616

#love #heartbreak #sad #pain #sorrow #music #tragedy #waltz #lament #agony

Watch How the White Birds Float

ji Oct 2016

Watch How the White Birds Float

Watch how the white birds float
On fjords, eternally reposed—
The rustles will whisper
        how they keep pristine composure:
                 "Follow the glassy estuary streams,
                  where swans sleep quiescent darlings
                  of their ivory shrouds."

#peace #white #water #stress #swan #reflection #birds #river #wisdom #tranquility

Welcome

ji Aug 2015

Welcome

To love is to invite tragedies in your soul, disclosing your heart vulnerable to every pain.

But if love is this beautiful, I think I would smile to even the worst tragedies and say, "Welcome! If you are love, though you bring pain, I wish you never go away."

080915

#love #heart #pain #beautiful #romance #smile #soul #tragedy #vulnerable #invite

When A Mourning Heart Wanders

ji Feb 2016

When A Mourning Heart Wanders

When a mourning heart wanders, it leaves footprints to follow--
On faint-lit streets and murky gutters I was led all along;
I saw my body last night, hung with barbed wires on a bough.
And as I dangle, bathing in moonlight, I was singing our song.

//022516

#love #broken #sad #pain #moon #night #miss #heartache #torture #murky

When Oceans are Tears

ji Feb 2016

When Oceans are Tears

This is how you know when love is true.

When your senses are numb and yet it pains you so much still, like your lungs are being wring out of blood; like your spine is a tower of stacked-up bones, collapsing; and your words fail and your every desperate action is scarce and all you feel inside well up on your eyes, condensed in an oceanic, salty drop. When you are no one but a void, deluging tears; until your lap is a swamp of one part sorrow and ninety-nine parts nostalgia.

//021116

#love #heart #pain #hurt #romance #nostalgia #ocean #sea #lungs #towers

Why, Oh, You?

ji Feb 2015

Why, Oh, You?

I cannot breathe without your hello
I cannot talk, and I won't let go
I cannot focus, my dear, I love you so.

I cannot think, you cloud my head,
My heart can't pump,
It lies in your hand dead

And I better go to bed

But I can't sleep, darling your face,
When I close my eyes, I am dazed

And I can't cry, because I'm not sure if I should,
Or maybe I'm afraid - I don't know if I could

But I also can't smile
Because I breathe you;
I speak you
I think of you
I cry of you
'Cause you're not even mine,
But in case, my dear, I swear I won't mind.

Writing

ji Jun 2015

Writing

If you must take it,
take with it
my life for it is my.

If you must burn it,
ashen my pen;
Scorch these leaves,
leave none.

If you must choke it,
strangle my neck 'stead;
for it and I are one

And if you must **** it --
wither its words;
**** me - ****** - with gun.

— The End —