stuck between simple
& very, very complicated.

antes me decías:
"cierra los ojos, cuenta hasta cien."
yo toda ilusionada.
yo contaba mucho más.

                                      contaba hasta trescientos
y tú todavía no estabas.
                                            hasta seiscientos
decías que vendrías.

                                                      ­               y apareciste, como a los mil.
y ahora que estás aquí,
ahora te digo:
"cierra los ojos, cuenta hasta cien."
y yo te prometo,
que no te dejaré esperando.

La diferencia es que cuando los abras,
                                                          ­            en el cien,
                                                           ­                                  yo ya no estaré.

when I was a little girl
my father left my heart
in 4,564 pieces.
then one day,
you promised to take care of me,
forever.

little did I know
that by telling you what he had done
you’d just catch
creative ideas
and colorful new ways
to leave me broken and behind,
yourself.

cartas para el amor de mi vida (vol I):
aún no te conozco y ya te hago poemas.

If you are a fan of art:
1. go ahead and  break  my heart.

.es que no importa cuanto la beses a ella,
seguirás pensando en mi.
.es que mientras más intentes olvidarme,
más me recordarás.
.es que no me se me disuelve con alcohol,
ni se borran mis trazos de la piel.
.es que por mi culpa mueras sin saber,
que es son los escalofríos a primer contacto.
.es que tal vez no vuelvas a experimentar,
los pelos de *****.
.es que te malcrié con tantas caricias,
y ahora no sabes qué hacer.
.es que aunque mis manos son pequeñas,
te hacían reaccionar.
.es que no habías conocido un amor tan delicado,
y no encontrarás otro corazón tan tierno.
tan fuerte.
.es que yo te quise,
cuando el problema lo tenías tú.

el problema conmigo,
es que yo soy la solución al problema que tienes tú.
y me perdiste.

y que te ame todavía? sí
y que te desee lo mejor? no sabes cuanto.
pero que te quiera como quería? yo que daba hasta la vida por ti?
ay nunca jamás.

(además, ya le conté todo a mi mamá y parece que te odia.)

today I decided
to paint my nails blue.

I remember you'd say
that when painted this way
I looked like a 'child';
'foolish'

you liked it when I would paint them,
scarlet red.

I remember you'd say
I'd be taken seriously this way
it's the color of 'passion'; I looked like a
'woman'

but I am not what you say I am
and I do not need you.
and I still AM a woman,
just with her nails painted blue.

When I think of you
                                                             ­                    I think of teacups;
for when my mind is blank                
                              
                                 ­  the thoughts of you manage to

                                               l
                                                      e
       ­                                                       a
        ­                                                              k

­                                                                 ­             inside my head.

oh you know, anxiety.
the feeling everybody gets
when they get a turn at the printing center
the feeling everybody gets
when they need to ask the waiter for an extra napkin
the feeling everybody gets
when they have to tell the teacher they don’t understand the difference between mass and atomic number
the feeling everybody gets
when they’re the next to pay in line
the feeling i was fine with feeling;
until i found out... nobody else feels this way.

what is love?

is it a feeling?
is it a decision?
is it a prescribed death?
I have a problem; I have fallen in love.
it is believed to be the 'most beautiful thing',
but if it is
if this is true,
why am I torn between devotion and distress?
is it because he owns my heart,
or is it because he is too far away from me?
is it because I'm mad at myself for craving him so deeply,
or am I mad that I don't have him beside me?
to kiss me. to hug me.
so please, do tell...
how is this 'a beautiful thing'?
if I can't be with him, but I can't live without him?