The counted sheep
Have become closer to me
Than you are
As far away as can be
In our full sized bed
That you persuaded me
Was just right for a couple
As in love as we.

And now I am left
The sheep and me
In a full sized bed
With an un-full heart
Un-loved
Un-restful
And not Un-married.

I feel off
Like there is something missing
Between my skin and my soul and my heart and my teeth.
It hurts a little -
Like the cold does.

I am shivering.
My bones feel fragile -
Not like they could break but like they could just melt into nothing.
Maybe I want them to.

I am weak.
My eyes beg to not be forced
to stay open any longer
But the dark makes it hard to speak.

I don't want to talk anymore about anything to anyone.
But I am dying
of silence.
I am dying
of heartache.
I am dying
of me.

I have before criticized the English language
But the lack of dialogue I can muster
to express the depth of my thoughts...
That's my fault.

I have not settled deep enough.
Somewhere between my heart and my soul
to find a way to elaborate on what I know.
That's my fault.

I promise to dive deeper.

Unfulfilled and filling
I am a bucket with the smallest hole.
A drain half clogged
We are bogged down
boats
wondering why we didn’t
remember
that the water’s shallow here.
And here lies the swallowed
words on the wayside.
The shivering, wavering
night skies.
He who lies
is also he who fixed the smallest hole.
On my inside.

She plays
the strings
of her guitar
like she
toyed with
the strings
of my heart:
beautifully
with grace of
an angel
But the power
to ****.

She kissed him
And I cried
They fell
and I died
He loved her
More than he ever loved me
She loved him
More than ever could be

I am not afraid to drown in you
Because a death
sinking into your love
would be extravagant

I had a world
In my brain
high was a kite
low were the clouds

I had a world
in my mind
that could not be taken
away

Until one day
You broke my heart
and my mind
and my soul
and my world