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Elisa Holly Apr 2015
You think you’re slick
with the games you play
and the charm you think you have.
One moment doting
and the next ignoring
because the depth of your love
is as shallow as a puddle on the ground.
I’ve timed when you come around,
sniffing for the ***** in heat.
A constant merry go round of frustration.
But I have news for you,
the only cycle I am on
is my own.
Elisa Holly Apr 2015
My heart races as the adrenalin pounds.
A nightmare I pant,
but nothing prepared me for those sounds.
I continue to chant,
It’s not real
As my chest tightens.
I am unable to diminish how I feel.
Sweating and frightened,
I sink under the covers.
Cautiously closing my eyes,
the image still hovers.
It is more than scary chases and cries
Or the voice you lose deep down inside.
This fear is of the monster I am unable to hide.
Elisa Holly Apr 2015
I had a dream once lying next to you.
It was a girl
with the most beautiful bright eyes I had ever seen
and a little boy
with light hair and a grin I never wanted to say goodbye.
There was something different about them,
but something so familiar.
And in that second,
I knew they were mine.
I fought for us and for that future.
Waking up seemed like a cruel joke,
into this reality of emptiness.
I was holding on to you,
hoping that one day
we would have that home.
Letting go of you was letting go of the dream
I had so willingly believed.
For so long, I was angry that you took my dream.
You made it feel like a delusion.
Then, years after us,
I had it again
with the bright eyed girl
and the elated grinned boy.
And I knew, this wasn't a sign of my future with you,
it was a sign of my future without you
and just like that
I was free.
Elisa Holly Apr 2015
My bag is tucked in my legs.
They begin to shake as we land.
I grab the handles and as my belly lifts,
I notice that I am fluttering in excitement, anticipation to the upcoming travels.
Love can come in so many forms,
but none is more awakening
than that of adventure.
Elisa Holly Apr 2015
I remember
waking up with your blue eyes
staring at me,
an endless ocean of love
I didn’t quite grasp.
Every time you came close,
I couldn’t help
but drown in uncertainty
until those eyes were weathered
by my constant storms.
Wading through a sea of souls,
I often wonder if I will ever
stop seeking those blue eyes.
Elisa Holly Apr 2015
The grass changes shades
as the light peaks over the clouds.
It shimmers
as it catches each bead of water
on the blades beneath it.
So cold against my feet,
but warming to see a new day awaken.
I often wish we had physical cues
to our cleansing and preparation for each day. However, it is our lives
that reflect the continuous changes
we seek to build.
  Apr 2015 Elisa Holly
JAM
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