Could I find you in everything?  
Would you look at the skies as I do?  
Would you see all their shades of gray, and blue?  
Above rooftops and trees,  
Above homes filled with families,  
Would you see all for what they are?  
A symphony of love at the center of hearts?

Could I find you in my hands?  
In the calluses and soft touch,  
Would you be harsh, gentle, and just enough?  
Could I find you in the words I carry in my palms,  
Flowing rivers of thoughts that sing like a song?

Could I find you in the mornings,  
When I wake before the sun,  
When life is love and love is life,  
And you are the only one?  
Could I find you in my coffee,  
The way it warms me softly  
And leaves its taste upon my lips,  
The ones I wish you would kiss?

Could I find you in my shoes or my dress,  
Or the table beside my chair?  
Could I find you on the couch,  
Or in the stillness of the air?

Could I find you in my arms,  
Where I imagine I hold you close?  
My very sweet dear friend,
Is it wrong to want you the most?  

Of all the night skies I’ve gazed upon,  
Your light is the most true.
You are the moon above my sea,
Your glow dancing upon waves set free.
I could find you in everything,
In all that I feel and see
Turning this scattered life of mine
into beautiful poetry

For now, I’m going to stop.  
I have a lot to do.  
But just for a moment,  
All was lost and everything was you.

(To be revisited, one day)

"you cannot catch a wildflower"
       he says.
             "you are my wildflower."

I am lost inside myself
my personal paradise
my own euphoric insanity
could i be as manic as I sometimes believe
to feel as if my soul lives in the earth beneath my feet
and stretches from the root of every tree to the tips of their leaves
exhaling me into the sky to float with the wind from meadow to meadow
I stand with arms stretched
spinning in circles like a tiny tornado
grazing the tips of each blade of grass with my fingertips
dancing with my pointed toes upon dewy petals
breathing in the heavens of the earth
feeling as if the sun was shining from within me
my world could not exist without this insatiable lust for life
you cannot hold me and shelter me under the dark roof you flourish in
I am a wildflower
I need the meadows, the sky, the sun, the air, the freedom

To focus on the life
that existed
And not the passing
How does one do this
While keeping sanity
For I believe I must remove
My mind from behind my eyes
To not think that tomorrow
I cannot reach out to you
And touch your flesh

in between dreaming and the harsh awareness of reality
my hand found the place where you used to lay
brushing against the perfectly unmoved sheets
making its way to the perfectly
untouched pillow
eyes opening, gazing, and sinking as reality set in
you weren't just "up early"
walking the dog,
making us coffee,
...waiting to wake me with a kiss to the forehead

my knuckles turned as white as the sheets as
they clenched the place that once was you
holding onto whatever they could of your memory
believing if I squeezed hard enough
I could get the last drop of you out

just for this morning

Feeling weightless
And heavy
Feeling love and
Bitterness
Feeling nothing and
Everything
And far too vulnerable