The night is still young,
But the stars are out.

With our intertwined hands held,
we watch the shiny twinkling sky.

Memories flashing upon us,
as small talk begins.

Time's running out,
as you had your last breath.

Tears slipped from my face,
as you whispered your last words.

to say i like you is an understatement.
i am more infatuated than you think.

the word 'like' wouldn't really explain
the vast feeling i have for you.

you, almost like the sun and moon,
i am captivated. 
entranced by you entirely.

and as each day passed,
i question myself whether if
i was deemed worthy of you.

you can have a much more better option
but you choose me.

you would have been better off with
someone else more better than i am,
but i can't seem to let others have you.

so to say that i like you is really an understatement,
i would say, i am infatuated by you.

and is very much deeply
and dangerously in love with you. 

you complete me in many ways possible.

I settle for pain instead of happiness,
and sink myself in the abyss of darkness.

I settle for the lack of conversations,
and rather not voice what I want to say.

I settle for the winter than the summer,
where I cave myself in my own comfort zone in blues.

I settle for indies than dynamic music,
for songs describe me for who I am.

I settle for the silence and surrender,
and hope to be buried 6ft under ground.

I settle for death,
for being alive is too painful and I'm barely breathing.

to completely say that,
i am strong,
would be a lie.

I bask in darkness,
hoping my demons would calm,
and that i wouldn't think of death.

darkness, fear and loneliness,
engulf me wholefully,
and i to submit in ordeal.

must i be like this?
to always seek comfort of blood and pain,
and to make me forget just a bit.

downing pills and alcohols,
taking a long drag of smokey puffs.
what more would pleasure me the thought of being free?

to seek myself in the dumps,
the bathtub that sees me more often than the garden,
to feel completely in a state of trance.

am i to still feel what my demons want?
am i still finding solace in the dark?