I don't know where to start,
or where to end.
The feelings you give me,
they aren't butterflies
but angels.

She has always been the one who was different; unafraid.
She was so happy, but i seen the marks left behind from the blade.
She was a rebel, an angel, and all things you define as "misfit."
She was not like the others, she was distant.
She left Heaven and fell to the earth, she is the one who never leaves you.
She is your Rebel Angel, she wants to help you get through.

She is the one who proudly wears her battle scars and defies all the rules.
She is the one who holds you while you cry, and throws away your tools.
She knows the pain you feel, because she herself lives through it everyday.
She doesn't tell you, because this Rebel Angel has fallen; nothin left to say.
She is and always will be the one who listen to the story of your tears.
She will stay with you till the storm clears.

She has fallen from grace, and left all of those she loved behind..
She left, cause they never seen her battle wounds, she was lost in her mind.
She has a secret, she has been hurt, and she longs to die.
That's the real reason she chose not to fly.
Angels can't die, she fell, but when she fell, she fell into love.
He has shown her she doesn't need to leave to be above.

This rebel, misfit, outcast, she is amazing inside and out.
And so are you, there isn't the slightest hint of doubt.
She has fallen from grace, lost all she has loved, but she got somethin new.
She has fallen in love with someone who will be there to always be true.
Don't give up on life my Rebel Angels, you aren't meant to fit in!
You were born to challenge the status quo, don't hurt your beautiful skin.

You may feel lost and alone right now, but i promise you, she is with you.
She knows that pain you go through and she will hold on like glue.
She knows the fight, and she knows you will win the war!
Yes, right now it will hurt and you may be a little sore...
But it will be worth it in the end my beautiful Rebel Angels, don't you see?
This Rebel Angel is him, her, you, and me..

my subject, mrs. ((brown?))
for this speech is
going to be: obesity. ish.

you see I remember
the article you handed out to us,
loos-leafed,
fresh-pressed,
a dry white piece that told,
in simplest terms,
the most inarguable & bland facts
about !healthy eating & !weight loss!

but mrs ((whatever)), I want
to tell n and the entire
******* crisp class,
that obesity is a load
of steaming ****
from someone who’s really fucki
ng sick (you know how much
better it stinks then)

that obesity
was made to be glorified,
I don’t tell you this—
I ****** jiggle it to you,
grab my santa clause puch and
shove it at you--

tick tock
we wait for the clock
to tell us what
s to come,
except it makes us guess

--see this:
a mid-age woman, mother,
fat & previously fat,
goes in for stabbing pain in the chest, or
chronic diarrhea,
seeing stars & no energy left.
((this happens))
the doctor says,

well let’s weigh you n see
if you’ve lost
the weight I told you to lose before
remember Sharol

now Sharol..,,,, sweety…..
you weigh 55.62 lbs over the
state-set “healthy limit”k,
so we’re just gonna give u these
diet pills & I promise they work,.
all nach-yer-awl u see, none of that
waterweight ******* [! excuse my language]

and in about 3 months you’ll lose
half that overweight,
and I promise the starsll go away and you’ll
feel right tip top okay now that’ll be
$60 & come bac k in a month to tell me
how much you’ve lost okay

haha but that’s alrightright?
she was unhealthy
&
doctors make you healthy

only her brain cancer maybe, or like, colon
cancer or literally anything other obesity

kills her in about 3 months
bc the **** doctor would only
pretend that she cared
what
was
wrong with Sharol, sweety…,,,

im sharol and so are you and
so is your uncle & so is
your mother, probably
because most of us are “obese”

& the only cure for obesity
is the cure for the term
“obesity” you see

An icy night falling,
But I don’t mind
The prevailing wind
Against the pitch-black darkness
Engulfing me
I’ve seen how cruel life could be
The smoke out the chimneys
Mocking me
Their warmth taunting me
Holding my breath
Waiting for death
The darkness like the fruit of the poisonous tree
When the warmth reaches for me
His hands like silk nuzzle me
Cuddle me
Taking me into the warmth
His breathe chilly and calming
I’m sobbing
Next thing I know it’s morning
I found my Prince Charming.

Once I heard somebody say

"Many moons ago"
Referring to the past

It never made much sense to me
There was only one moon I could see

Now you're in the fading phase
Becoming one of many moons I knew

Did you see the trees, the way they separate?
Did you see the air behind them, all oblong and jagged framed?
Each branch turning into another,
separating and connecting,  again and again.
Slow, complex growth.
It was natural progression at its finest.
and didn't you feel the way I looked at you?
or did you see it?  It was nothing.
No, it was something. It really is.
The way you are, the way we act,
How we want to act.
The little things I bring you , all those gifts,
they mean something too.
I could say it, but I try not to.
I said "I can't help but keep you in mind"
I meant to hesitate.
Everything I do, there's purpose behind it.
The feelings aren't complicated.
It's a situation,
far from ideal and clearly exciting.
It built up.
The tension felt like long years,
patiently watching in some sort of humble admiration.
But the way you do things, it's getting to me.
It's this appreciation,
for every cell, every action, and every opinion.
It's all so fascinating and it's been filling my head.
Thoughts tricking me in my sleep,
turning life into wondering days.
Your ways, should they be complimented by my ways?
Because, I always found this exciting:
not knowing, not doing,
never asking.
I thought maybe it's enough, what it is.

But for an instant, everything changed.  
Passion and desire took physical form.
The experience, the moment,
it was fast and intense,
and that reveal has wrapped itself around me ever since.
Apprehensive ways were filtered into something else.
Bad undertones, caught in the strainer and set aside.
We could be so innocent,
and we can enjoy what's been neglected.
A mutual leap, hand in hand.
Hands strong and without hesitation,
moving your skin like raw clay,
pushing, clenching.
Comparable to a surgeons precision.
Confidence backing every movement.
Fluid, and naturally rough.
Rough, like the way I pulled your hair.
Precise, like the way I bit your neck.
It was exactly where you'd have me.
Almost harder than you'd ask.
Face to face. My lead.
Me against you.
Your back against the wall.
A strong and careful force,
moving my left to grab your throat,
while the right falls at your ready hip.
The spot I've been dying for.
It's just the way they look.
Smooth skin over hard bones.
Smooth skin that leads into your jeans,
and travels up into your shirt.
Places I shouldn't go,
but there you are, and I see how you feel this.
It feels like you want it to feel.
I feel that way too.
Excitement is at full throttle,
yet, overall comfort is keeping me steady.
A grip on your hip pulls you in closely,
face to face, lips touching lips.
Not just touching, but for the first time.
Not kissing, but desperate to.
That feeling revealed.
This is what it's like, and this is what it sounds like.
Your voice, only raspy air.
Sort of like a whisper.
Not words, but sounds of enjoyment.
Warm breath meeting mine.
Exchanging.
Feeling control, then lightning strikes.
You playfully bite my lip causing me to exhale.
Caught off guard
Completely high off you and the way you feel.
At the peak of an experience, almost overwhelming.
Everything led up to that moment,
and if I could have stayed there, I would have.
It was too much and it was not enough.

Hard to miss, you can take me home.
I'd rather be anyone than to be alone.
Marlboro-stained teeth
have my lips controlled.
Don't mistake the chemicals
for our souls.

I move with the waters inside your ribcage.
Because when I drown in you,
it's the perfect place.

Softly, please, taking off our clothes:
I can see the kisses that have left holes.
You've been acid-washed
by love that wasn't stronger.
Take off your armor,
so you can stay here longer.

Your face is as cold
as the place I found you in.
You can let go of the hurt
trapped beneath your skin.

I keep warm in your fire that beats fast.
To be alone with you, it to be, at last.

Hard to miss, I will take you home.
You can be anyone, rather than be alone.
Remove your shoes, but not your heart.
You can stay here, as our world falls apart.

I step into the beige cold tub,
Turn on the tap to hot,
It sputters for a moment, then bursts onto my skin,
It hurts, but that's what I like.

Steam rises around me,
Capturing me in a cloud,
Taking me away, allowing me to look at my own self,
To ponder all of my life.

Nothing else to think of really,
When all you see are three yellow walls,
And a translucent curtain,  I'm sheltered inside a clear warm bathe bubble,
I think of my love, and my life.

I look down to the water pooling around my toes,
My reflection looks back at me menacingly,
My humanity starring me in the face, each waiting for the other to blink,
Each one of us fighting ourselves until death.

That is our struggle,
To hate ourselves, to hate everyone else,
But still find love, compassion, empathy,
Our urge to survive against our instinct to care.

I let the boiling water fall over my head,
Burning my cheeks, waking me up,
Tears trickling down my whole body,
Feeling alive,

A lonely human standing in a hot shower.

At first,
Words were literal.
Hearts were broken,
I mean literal.

You were a brother,
Never meant to get mixed up.
Between a million lies,
We got mixed up.

They see you as a child,
Yet I see more.
I wanted to see the rage
You had stored.

Like a tornado,
Things got out of control.
Like a crescendo,
The damage took it's toll.

See,

I want to show you worlds,
Universes,
Where imagination is real.
Hours are but golden candles,
On a cherrywood wheel.

But we lost our faces,
And fingers were pointed.
Caught in mazes,
We were the unholy anointed.

My apology.
I write it in blood.
My reasoning?
Was a broken love.

A bond,
Shattered by blind hate
Until even holy water became taint.

What happened between us and Her,
That's old.
A hatchet lost forever,
Shattered in the cold.

We were labeled,
Yet I don't see you as a child.
With skills like yours,
It was fun to be wild.

You called out names,
Of course we obliged.
Naturally with these games,
We piled the fire high.

But,

Perspective was lost.
Or was it?
I don't care.
Bury the hatchet, Arcassin.
Lets clear the air.

What's past is past
I'm not looking back
Neither should you
I don't care what you've done
Or what's happened
Sure, you've been shattered
But so have I
I'll hold you when you cry
It's no trouble
I'm capable of helping you through
          Resilence
It's what I do
Simply who I am
I'm strong, I withstand
I love wholeheartedly
         Giving my all
I'm offering it to you
Take it or not, it's still yours
Give me some time
I can offer you even more
          Eyes closed,
I dream you say yes
Don't think about it too much
Don't second guess
I may be tough
But I'm not sure how much more loss I can take
My sweet poetic friend
So true to word and flow
The raw grit and emotion 
It's attractive, you know
I'm not sure where this is gonna go
Just don't say no
Don't walk away like those before
I'm asking for friendship, no more
              For now.......
I'm just here for you
Honesty in poetry
What we both do