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 Sep 2021
WickedHope
Here I am again
Cracked and broken
Heart ripped open
By the claws on the ends of my fingers
They are never coated in blood
A tidy sort of chaos
A mess-less, gutless dissection
Hollow space resides within
Emptied of everything
Shall we count the scars
Or will that bore you
To hear of the surgeries that came before
The operations and treatments
Self directed and self prescribed
By a med school dropout
Disgusting derelict defect
Split neatly into near halves
Tethered by a final pathetic stitch
That I am longing to rip
Free
I hate myself.
 Apr 2019
Shiv Pratap Pal
PEN
Pen Can Write
Pen Can Draw
It Can Even Paint

Pen can fill Colours
In Shapes and Drawings
And in peoples Life too

Pen has Sympathy
Pen has Empathy
Pen has Emotions too

Pen can Heal
Make you feel
Calm and cool

Pen can save
It can control
The way we behave

Pen Can Fight
For your rights
And for others too

Pen can **** colours
From peoples life
And make it pretty hell

Pen can help you
****** poor's property
And make you very rich

Pen can throw
Culprit in Jail
Or can even grant him bail

Pen could be Cruel
Only needs some fuel
Then it could easily burn

Pen is Sharp
It can Cut and Wound
And Make you Bleed

But is it really the Pen
Or the Hand and Mind
Of one who uses the Pen

Pen is a Weapon
Pen is Lethal
So handle with care
Pen has immense capabilities and immense power.  So how it should be handled
 Oct 2018
julianna
And it was
iN that split  
secOnd that i was
Rather weak.
Eating no longer  
seemed an eXit, but instead
as If it was so, so,
Aimless to do.
 Mar 2017
Steele
It comes on
and he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
(This song saved your life.)
The radio blares the **** of the latest joke, but songs
aren't allowed to save lives any more so you keep quiet.
Music isn't a cure, and The Cure have been long out of style and
it happened
before anyone had ever heard of Twenty One Pilots anyway and
since long before Rose killed herself with a twenty pill crash diet.
it happened
but he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
Those chords saved your life
But "can you believe we
ever listened
to this song?"

The sunset looks beautiful with the windows rolled down
and you wonder how you ever survived this long, anyway.
 Oct 2016
Morgan
I didn't ask to be like this,
Sitting on a bar stool in south Philly,
Hoping no one notices the water in my fist
Because I don't drink,
And I can't decide if that matters

I didn't ask to be like this,
Counting tiles as I walk through them,
Hoping no one notices
the concentration in my teeth,
Because I can barely breathe,
And I can't decide if I want to

Liking the rain doesn't make you interesting,
it makes you half-past 20 in northern PA,
And saying whatever is on your mind
doesn't make you edgy,
It makes you obnoxious...
It makes me think just maybe
You talk a little bit too much,
And tequila shots don't make you brave,
They make you sound like an 18 year old,
Just as lost, just as confused, just as scared-
But less articulate for sure,
Your matte red lips aren't deep,
Your matte red lips match mine
& every other woman in this ******* bar,
I didn't come here to talk about acid trips,
Or the hypocrisy in your politics,
I didn't come here to make friends,
Ever think I just wanted to sit?

I haven't spoken a word out loud
In six weeks and three days,
So I'm sorry if my voice shakes

I don't go outside for much anymore
So I'm sorry if your blinded by my complexion

I work at a nursing home
And I'm nearly as dead
As the patients,
The failure in my brain
Is a little different
But I'm equally exhausted
By my inadequacies

Without a lack of trying
I'm begging for the strength
To slit my own throat,
Because I don't feel like
Showing up for an other day

My diagnosis is a list 6 pages long
Full of initialisms that
end in the letter "D"
For Disorder

And I promise my tattoos
Are not an invitation for conversation,
So don't look so confused
When I get up and walk away
From you

I keep telling my boyfriend
Not to fall in love with me
Even though I've been
In love with him all along

I keep telling my boyfriend
To protect himself
Because I've been on my way out
Since I turned sixteen,

I say,
"I never thought I'd make it to
twenty-two, but please remember
I didn't stay to be with you"

I'm always trying to save
Bright eyed people,
Full of swirling galaxies,
And light
From the way I seem to
hallow them out,

I'm sorry I stayed in bed
With the tick inside my head
Again this week,
Don't forgive me
 Feb 2016
DarkStorm
I look in the mirror
My mask hides the broken girl

I wash away the perfect skin
I wash away the rosy cheeks
I wash away the boldness of my eyelashes
I wash away the red lips

I look in the mirror
I see the broken girl
The girl the world thinks is whole
 Feb 2016
WickedHope
Fingers slide down your throat
It's hard to forget, as you choke
Every bite you took today
Stupid girl, disgusting shape

Watch it come back one by one
Tasting it twice is half the fun
See the colors mix and swirl
Till your marker appears in the bowl

Wash your face, wipe your mouth
Now that you're sure it's all out
Look your reflection in the eye
Smile, like you don't want it to die
Go **** yourself George.

Title *****.
 Aug 2015
Jackeline Chacon
Dreaming of walking model thin
Unaware she's bones and skin

She lives in a damaged brain
Drowned from her vomiting pain

Her insecurity torn up her mind
Left her bulimic and mentally blind

Always hugging her toilet beside
Half dead from purging her soul inside

Crying because her ugly reflection
She won't give up until she's perfection
 Jul 2015
WickedHope
Bleed in to me
If I cut myself open and peal back the layers
Will you come inside
Can I fold you into me
Not ******, contrary to the apparent popular opinion.
(will be making this longer later)
 Apr 2015
Jo Kent
I read a vogue magazine once

I wanted to be more mature
I wanted to be a child again

I was bored of how I looked

I was called 'fat' once

I needed more control over myself
I needed someone to look after me

I wanted to deny myself a basic human need

I was in so much pain that I needed more

I lost weight and I couldn't stop
I found something I was good at

I ran out of ways to destroy myself
All of these reasons and none of these reasons. I think maybe it had been simmering beneath my skin for years before I stopped eating.
 Apr 2015
always anxious
last year
i promised myself that i would never be sad anymore.
but boy did i break that promise
i sunk back into anorexia
i relapsed to selfharm
i became suicidal
but once again i promised myself to be happy.
but everytime relapses came faster
and they were a lot stronger
last week i made the same promise.
and here i am in my bed
writing the same suicide notes over and over again
happiness just isn't for me
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