I'm just the girl                  I'm just the creep
Who loved you                  That loved you
Who else could I               Who else could I
be?                                       be?
What else could I              What else could I
do?                                       do?
Please notice the               Please notice the
past tense                           past tense
Cause it's not like             Cause it's not like
before                                 before
I did love you once          I did love you once
But now I love you          But now I love you
no more                             no more

This girl right here
That loved you long ago
Well, I'm finally through
Just thought you should know
I no longer dream of you
I no longer wish you were mine
Truly, I loved you once
But I've left those feelings behind

                    I'm sitting here thinking about
                    His mischievous smile
                    When you walk by, I look there
                    To where my new prince
                    charming sits,
                    You leer at me, finally realizing
                    That you're lost at sea
                    Without me.
                    I'm gone, you see...
                   You should've caught me
                   When you still captivated my naiveté.

You should have loved this girl back
I've got so much heart to share
I could have loved you so right
Unfortunately, you never did care
I'm glad I'm so over you
I can finally move on to someone new
What I want, you never did give
A real man and poet, who's so true

                   I've already torn you out
                   From your throne in my heart,
                   I dragged you out by the throat,
                   While you got scratched by all
                   the thorns
                   Lying neatly everywhere.
                   You stare at me from the ground,
                   Pleadingly, but
                   No... I have grown.

Not only do you no longer reside
Inside this heart made of gold
You no longer haunt my dreams
You no longer have the key to my soul
The love I gave, you took for granted
But now my heart is free to love another
After this, my poetry will have no more specks of you
You'll be out of my mind forever

                    No longer will I fall into your divinity,
                    I can't stand your fake holiness.
                    I am the devil that caresses your soul,
                   The creep that awaits you in
                    your mirror
                   The little parasite that will
                    poison your mind
                   Whispering hymns and psalms
                    into your fingers and lips.

Can't you see?
That creep that haunts you,
Is secretly me.
But now that we're both through
We'll taunt both your dreams
Tear you from the inside out
Ripping at you from you inner seams
We loved you without a doubt
But now we'll forget about you
While you're left drowning in the deep
Remember us, when you can no longer breathe
Sincerely ~ This girl and that creep

~
I am standing in such a space
that like an event horizon
where there everything is moving towards the dark
and usually the opposite is the light

The two ways are very distinct
the light
and the dark
but I am wondering for light
And I see,
any existence of objects that stand on the space,
and even time moving towards the dark

The attraction of dark is too high
its gravity beyond,
attracting the young and the old
it bends all the waves and moving towards the black hole
passing as clouds through the event horizon
where there I have stood
there is a boundary
between the heaven and hell

On the boundary,
the hell I see very near
and the heaven, I saw before
cause still I have some feelings
and all my feelings are accumulating in the bean
but the feelings have a little gravity
either good or evil
neither soft nor compact
all drops from the heaven's wall

It has grown more with time
compact more and more
either in core of heart or in pore of spaces
neither in sticky sand nor in the serene soul
all are moving toward the dark

And finally,
I see a big crunch in the dark
but still some particles of light are floating over the dark
and some are still struggling on the horizon
others are waiting on the event horizon to move toward the dark hell
and I am standing on the wall of the event horizon
neither my mind wants to move in the hell
nor I can moving back to the heaven

~
@Musfiq us shaleheen

They once called me crazy
I've since been deemed sane

Is it insanity
When I call out your name

In the middle of the night
Alone in my bed

My heart it bleeds sorrow
I can't hear your name

It drives me to madness
I'm going insane

I can't call you up
I can't knock on your door

Each time I think of you
I'm wanting you more

I wake in the darkness
A terrible fright

I don't feel any warmth now
I can't see the light

I try to forgive you
I try to let go

I still think about you
I thought you should know

I stand up
Leave a rose on your stone

Say my goodbyes
And walk myself home

A river of tears flows down my face
Each crystalline drop is a solitary memory
As I wipe each one away, thinking it's a waste
I realize that loving me is just not meant to be

As the river floods, surrounding me in the past
I see all the mistakes, like looking in a mirror
One more falls and I know it will be the last
This river is running dry, I'm seeing things a little clearer

I am on a journey  
and where it leads, I do not know
the bends and twists within my soul
leave my words and deeds feeling hollow

Am I the man I reflect
or a monster laying in wait
conflicting reports have come
and the doubt never abates

I try so hard to
be the best I know how to be
childish remnants stripped away
I'm left to navigate these canals of misery

Am I victim or villain
a product of an earlier fate
or is that just an excuse to unleash the demons
and become the thing  I truly hate

this battle never ends....

Something about literature universally connecting people
something about verses that we can identify with
something about using words in the a way that makes people feel less alone
I see people using poems as band-aids
and poets writing poetry like their last saving grace
I don't know.
Some things hurt.
Some things burn
and bruise
and fester inside of you and run in circles around your mind
until it hurts to think about it any more
it hurts to read about it any more
it hurts to write abou-
my head hurts.
It hurts to write about this any more.

we see the smoke
and hear the drums -

it gets old - the news
of war - no more glory

-  the dead are dying
old and young

- we see the smoke
and hear the drums -

living in our rooms
above the fray -

we turn away
like yesterday -

we see the smoke
and hear the drums -

another day.

r ~ 10/17/14

"They"* say 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall'
Well, if that's true
Then...  My heart must be huge
Cause I always fall so hard
So fast
So incredibly hard
'In love'
I try to tell myself it's not love
When I have that dreaded thought
"I think I'm falling in lo..."
I stop myself,
Because I KNOW
When that feeling comes...
Only a broken heart is sure to follow
I always fall...
TOO fast
TOO hard
TOO wholeheartedly
I think it's a curse been given to me
So, even though I may lie to myself
Thinking that I'm not in love with you
I know deep down
That it's *not true

Bound.
For hell,
Oh life is swell,
ain't it?
piece of art, tainted.
Convos with Satan,
Can you feel the cadence?.

Can you smell the melody?
Can you touch the tunes?
Can you taste the frequency, grab you some silver spoons.
Grab you a piece of advice, from the man on the moon.
Falling under the depths, ill have to handle it soon,.

Convos with Lucifer,
Lord of the Flies..
How'd he get my number?
probably family ties..
probably hearing the cries,
probably feeling surprised,
The light within me, forever will shine.

But for tonight,
i converse with The Anti-Christ..
Actually giving me some mad advice.

he said,
"I advise you, don't you ever find bliss..
If one day you do, you'll forever be ******.
Instead, stay in this chaos and revel,
Truthfully your bliss might become your hell."

How can you ask for sunshine if its always sunny?
How can you laugh at something if its always funny?
.......
suddenly i realized the ******* was right.
Only if hell bound, do you realize that heavens in sight.


-afj