She said that biting my nails was a bad habit,
as she pulled a puff from the lipstick stained cig.
Habits, I can tell you all about them, she croaked this,
Men, War, Love -- Forgive me for being redundant.
I shook my head and released a laugh that seemed to
float past her, with little acknowledgment, little care.
Men, War, Love, Drugs, *** -- I've had it all inside me,
I've witnessed it tremble through and pass, with gradual
recklessness. I've seen and felt it all, but I wonder if I've
experienced glimpses or the entirety of what life has had
to offer me, bad or not, true or contrived. And this, this
wonderment is my most terrible habit; it will destroy me,
through and through, until nothing is left but a smoldering
foundation; a shell, burning through cigarettes and life.

"Back away." she said.
"My heart is dark, and my mind is no Eden,
I can't let you in, its a place occupied by my demons."

He blinked, startled at her words.
She blinked, surprised at the smile on his face.

"Come closer." he said.
"My heart is ablaze, and in my mind resides hell.
It will be the perfect place for your demons to dwell."

I loved you with all my young heart.
All I could see was you and I. You were what I thought would be a permanent part of my every day.
324 days I spent in your embrace.
Until one day you grabbed my poor heart and tore it apart.
She took you from me. But did you know, she wanted nothing to do with you?
You handed me to a boy who only saw me. But did he know, I wanted nothing to do with him?

And now you have become my closest friend. And do you know, that even though I will never forgive the boy for his actions, that I have fallen for him?

I miss you my love, my first, my best friend.

She fell for these cold blue eyes that burn with lust for every beautiful body he sees.

Your lips so soft and red,
The thoughts of kissing you is stuck in my head,
your beauty so bright and warm,
Shining through  the darkest storm,
Your eyes like fire,
Light my day,
Through darkest night,
you lead my way.

Your neck a vision,
A road to bliss,
A trail from which i plant a kiss.

Your voice like music to my ears,
The sweetest sound of your laugh,
I long to hear.

I tell myself to block your number; I know that's
all it would take. I tell myself to avoid the night, insidious darkness making its home inside my spine. Heart pounding, hands shaking, waiting for that call that only comes past midnight when you're stumbling and looking for someone warm to hold. You and I both know that I am weak for your arms. Each weekend finds me expectant, hopeful, trying desperately to push those emotions away. I tell myself to let you go. They've been saying it for months; you're no good. But your mouth, those lips, what your hands can do to me. You're just another way to destroy myself. Slowly, achingly-- we both know how this is going to end.

Fresh sin. Sweaty bodies sway. Deamonds swim in the rich liquid that burns down my throat. Minutes evaporate in the that smoke leaves my lips. Innocence dies. ***** knifes lay rusting in the sink. Shattered dreams cut open my feet as I pull myself up.
Oh sweet, sweet, sweet fresh sin. Young sin. Godless sin. The spark that ignites and turns all happiness to ash.
Mistakes remain etched in my memory, like a permanent tattoo. Eternal flame replaces the friendly shoulder.

i am for a moment.

faded like dusk

a whisper

like the lingering smell of cigaretts

my touch cold like the wind in the early morning

but my skin is burning

i want to feel

but my mind wont let me

trapped in an endless cycle of self loathing

how can i be happy

i am only for a moment

haunted with the memories of happy faces

and cursed with the demands of my past

i cant keep this up my light is fading

don’t worry no one is really paying attention

walking ghosts whip around me like smoke

only to leave no trace

you are only for a moment

just as i am.

The tears that stream down my face begin to match the color of my jacket. Hard, rough, and warm. Just like you. You don't bother to turn away from the crime you have committed. You watch me suffer, no emotion present on your still face. Our love has burned up like a cigarette. Don't dare try and tell me I was the one who lit the fire. You are the one to be held responsible. For you have burned up my heart and set it in an ashtray.

I guess I won that stupid fight of "I love you more."

Our cold bodies warmed at each others touch. We danced in the sadness of the night, under the hot lights. Our souls interlaced. Coated with love, without any space. Your fingers memorized each string of hair on my head. the ***** pavement was our favorite resting place. you smelled of cigarets and mint. the ashtrays littered the vibrant grass. paper thin chances we had to survive. oh our luck was so weak. our hopes were bare.

Yet you saved me from myself, even if you were dying.