Fear wake me up
In the middle of the night,
Terrified I will awake to the imprint
Of where you used to lay
And the door left wide open.
When you leave,
All of my broken pieces
Will go with you.
Most days I feel like jumping out of my skin
Yet for you,
I would take the risk
To stay in it.
For you,
I would take the risk
To live this life
One
Day
  At
   A
    Time.

it's not something that i want to gloat about.
i'm not being selfish or greedy.
i'm not doing this because it's a trending topic or i saw other people do it.
i'm doing this because i love.
i love people.
maybe this is happening because i haven't always felt love from others, and i'll just accept what i can get.
maybe it's because i am a rebellion and just want to love him or her regardless of the status quo.
or maybe it's just because i love.
and i love to love.
to make a person smile no matter what is between their legs.
and make them feel wanted.
and happy.
and give them a home in my heart hoping i'll have a shelter to run to in theirs.
i love girls.
i love boys.
but most importantly i love myself.
and as scared as i may be.
and judged.
and discriminated against.
and shunned.
or cursed at.
i will still love.
and i will still stand with my hands in my pockets or in a girl or guys hand.
it may not be a happy life.
and i may not have as many opportunities as the man next to me who has different values.
but i will still love.
i will love my God for i know he accepts me for who i am.
for how he made me to be.
i will love the people who stick with me and tell me that there is no difference between me and the woman that i crossed paths with on the street.
we are all the same.
we are all one.
and we should all love.
regardless.
so this is me saying.
i love.
and i will no longer be ashamed.
even if you belittle me.
and my love will prevail.
because love is the answer.
not arguments between politicians and preachers.
but love.
between a man and a woman.
a man and a man.
a woman and a woman.
and a brother and a sister.
as God made us.
to love.

How hard can be a way
Of peace and tolerance
How come I see every day
People, who take every chance
To find a reason to discriminate
Colour, religion or gender
Why does it have to be so much hate
Why can't we treat each other tender
People so narrow-minded
Continuing to stir up trouble
Throughout their hatred they've been blinded
Here we stand in front of rubble
Let's pick up the pieces and built up a society based on equality

a world
where,
you and I,
will always be
happy.

The burrows of a life inside
of deep and narrow almost lies
until the brave of full disclosure
I live and breathe beneath exposure

A soul its own a natural seed
who struggles in the normalcy
a pace of right that’s set for we
the tribe of unconformity

Lonely? Or just alone,
Confusion is built into my skin
As I let my mind be consumed by the details.
Escape? Or just retreating
To the two items of clothing on my bed.
One so white it hurts my eyes, its angelic nature reflecting you.
The other so dark it echoes his scent that lingers.

I will find the coarsest brush and use it to scrub off the skin he touched as a punishment for returning.
I’ll whisper words of cruelty as my mind is no defender,
merely a perpetrator in building this wall around me.
A wall designed to suffocate,
To rip the breath from my lungs despite it possibly being the last.
There is no escape from this so I'm retreating, I suppose,
wall fully in tow.
To obsess over things I could have, should have and would have done
Had this wall not been a prevention.

I once asked you to spill your deepest secrets
At a time when fatigue was about to take hold.
If only I had known then that I was your surreptitious troubling.
I could have fixed it with my should have dones and would have dones
The same ones that I obsess over to this very day, this very night,
A whispered apology in the only medium I know how:
Pretty words, coming from within that ground me to you
When the space around me doesn’t feel real
And I’m hell bent on self-destruction.
When I wish to wrench the skin from my bones and I’m forced to acknowledge that
It is my fault; I am the one who acted this way.
So next time, I’ll remind myself not to project onto others
For I am the one to blame.

He woke this morning
Another night of her dreams

He glanced into the mirror
She’s not real it seems

Society unknowingly accepts
The image presented
Unaware of the damage
Being self-inflicted

He hides her for fear of rejection
She battles for her reflection.
______

Michelle Renee Milford
Nov. 2014

I'm tired of hiding who I am
I'm tired of living by society's rules
Tired of you judgmental fools
Because I'm different and proud of the way I am

A flurry of wings, fierce and fast,
A torrent of feathers, razor sharp
Two bronze talons, enormous and tight,
And I am gone. Gone
From the Dardanian shore of my father.

Did I not crave a throne like my brothers?
Why be born into a family of kings, only to toil
Away as a bearer of cups for others?
Their robes trail with ambrosia, and nectar
Fills my nostrils constantly.
I avoid their gaze, but find myself stealing
Glances as my mortal side crumbles.

True, he gave me a deathless life,
And chose me for his couch among all others.
Yet I have heard the tales: countless
Faceless women.
Swooping in under another’s form,
He leaves a child after taking what he seeks.
But what has he left me? A task and a fate.

I’ll feel no tender embrace of dying flesh,
No silk kiss from lips cracked with age,
Never will I be filled with anything less than a god.

There is something to be said for loving
In spite of death, not around it.

We shall remain here for eternity, neither
Progressing nor drawing back. My emotions
Stalled while my pleasure rages nightly.
What does it cost to love a mortal, you ask,
One running endlessly out of time?

I cannot say. But to be loved by a god, well,
The shadow never moves, neither from the marker
Nor from my heart.