Meghan Marie

Meghan Marie Jul 2017

How do you tell someone
that you are tired of your body being nothing
but a burial ground of forgotten memories?
I open myself up,
The scars are there to prove it,
I am searching
For the reasons I feel this way.
Maybe what happened
Is in my bone marrow
Or even my neck,
Words try to seep out-
I don't want to be stitched back together,
I want to find the reason.

#trauma #selfharm #scars #mentalillness #depression #bpd #sad #memories #ptsd

Meghan Marie Mar 2016

Loneliness

Loneliness
is echoing throughout my body
and is built into my bones.
It collapses my rib cage
and suffocates my brain.
Loneliness
is weighing my down
like an anchor out at sea.
Sitting upon my shoulders,
Shattering my collar bones.
Loneliness
is crushing me completely.
My wrists can no longer
bear this weight
and my knees are shaking.

#sad #depression #sadness #loneliness

Meghan Marie Feb 2016

The First tragedy of the season

The first tragedy of the season
slammed me into the ground
like a freight train.
The darkness captured me
into his hands
that smelled of stale cigarettes
and lips with the taste of whiskey.
Hard liquor captured into my lungs
clogging my words
into my throat.
Tar spewing out
of the cracks in the cement
grabbing my legs and sinking me into the ground.

#sad #sadness #mentalillness #ptsd #**** #trauma #mentalillnesses

Meghan Marie Feb 2016

My relationship with anorexia

I am in a relationship with food
and it is complicated.
A constant tug-of-war
in my mind
fighting each other
as if both sides of my brain
are siblings
and I am the toy.
The constant bickering
throwing me from one side of the spectrum
to the other.
Recovery verse Relapse
is the question.
Am i happier healthy
or not functioning at all?
I am in a relationship with food
and I'm still trying to end it
no matter how many times it wakes me up
in the middle of the night.

#sad #sadness #mentalillness #food #eatingdisorder #anorexia #bullimia

Meghan Marie Feb 2016

The first night.

Your first night without her
is always the hardest.
You turn to find the place she used to lay,
the outline of her body in your sheets,
yet somehow all you find now is emptiness.
To deal with heartbreak
you must cry.
You must cry into your pillow
or weep at the moon.
You must scream until
the pain has left your chest
right in the place
where love used to be.
You must run barefoot
into the woods
and find a field
full of life and lay in the middle of it.
You must feel your body so connected
to the earth
and the nature around you
and you must feel.
To deal with heartbreak
you must feel the broken pieces
of your heart
but not let it damage you.

#heartbreak #sad #depression #sadness #nature #earth

Meghan Marie Feb 2016

Crashing into depression.

Face first crash,
****** mouth full of gravel,
some say this is how depression hits you.
Others say it is like
a freight train
that collides into them head first
and smashes them against the tracks,
Leaving bits and pieces of themselves
in places they don't belong.
Face first crash into depression,
so unexpected,
always hurts the most.

#suicide #sad #depression #sadness #depressed #mentalillness

Meghan Marie Jan 2016

Outer demons.

The thoughts in my head
escape through my ear drums
and surround me with my demons.
My bones rattle underneath my flesh
as i try to look them in the eyes
yet i can never look past their feet.
Fear strikes me in more ways than one
and here I am again
trying to fill the voids
inside of me that they scrape away.

#sad #depression #sadness #demons