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Friends, flirting, fun times
It’s been so long since I felt this way.
She pulled me in close,
but she let me down gently.
So I suppress, contain, at times restrain
my love for her.
It’s painful to hang on,
we still have great times together.
I know our friendship is strong.
I want her in my life
I tell myself I will NEVER find another
I tell myself there will be another
I tell myself I will Never find another
I tell myself there Will be another
I tell myself I will never find another
Time will take what time needs
to lead me through this.
So I suppress, contain, at times restrain
my love for her.
I tell myself I WILL find another.
Love & Relationships are tough for all; Add being transgender (MtF), still very attracted to females it's close to imposable. Many of us have the feeling of "Forever being alone" Oh we have friends but a soul connecting partner, not likely. But like everyone I still hold on to HOPE.
The first time I realized my feelings for you,
I tried to imagine what we would be like.
I would always hit the obstacle
Built to protect me from more rejection,
Contain the feelings of loneliness
My way to cope, sustained life
You found the secret entrance
And touched my heart
You have invited my imagination
To blend with yours
A true since of happiness
Puppy like excitement has reentered my thoughts
I am grateful to be on this adventure
does not render someone useless,
nor does it mean that the end has come,

It simply means
that the person has been mishandled,
I believe, that this is the case, for some.

does not mean hopeless,
nor does it mean that better days,
for the tired soul, will not arrive,

It simply means that the person
has to work harder
to bounce back,
to be brave and stay alive.

in itself,
is beautiful,
it means that the person
has lived,
experienced and survived,

means strength and endurance -
It means, that by a Warrior,
defeat was denied.

By Lady R.F ©2016
I’ve searched the stars
To find the perfect time
To touch you with words
Here and now is prime

I’ve searched my mind
To find the perfect state
I’ve been completely in a fog,
Now clearing, I know my fate

I’ve searched the web
Scrolled through countless pages
Reading other poets writes
To get inspiration from the ages

I’ve searched my heart
It now beats with excitement
Having you in my life
Is my new assignment

I wish to capture the power
That’s only perceived by touch
And put it into words
That ignite emotions as such


Michelle Milford
20 December 2016
To Brenda Chuleewah
I am
    bound by the
  belief that

  all of its
                           dark tunnels
                following tracks
                    of hurt  
   caused by someone who
    claims to
                       have cared,
          of empty promises
                                        vacant of any feeling
                      washing your dreams
into a sewer system
                      of nightmares
                     twisted stairways
of all that was shared      
               crumbling beneath
the weight of a
                      broken heart
gets no better
than this,

        and I am
       by the
                 that it

                                               eventually ends
I just wish it would hurry the hell up
Thank you to all of my friends here for your kindness and for making this life a little bit more bearable. Sometimes though the pain is just too much.
The light at the end of the tunnel is visible.
My mind is racing, but I have a calmness of relief.
I’ve given all I could to those I love.
One more sun rise to warm my soul
before my body goes cold.
I’ve caused enough pain
Mostly to myself
If only I could find the strength
To live without fear
And be the woman within.
I blame no one but myself,
For I am a coward
One more sun rise to warm my soul
before my body goes cold.
No title just an ending. I have decided to share this because I'm in a much better place emotionally now. I had forgotten about this writing and came across it while I was purging my drive. Luckily I realized I really needed help, I had entered into an extreme danger zone and took action, deep breath and asked for help. The light at the end of the tunnel doesn't have to be the end but a much better, happier & loving time in THIS life. If you find yourself still reading this  remember to show love to everyone, you may save a life. On a scale of 1 - 10, my life now I would give an 8 on average with increasing spikes of 10. It's by far easy but I now have the support and love of so many people in my life. Most know nothing about my climb out of the pit. As for this site my Angels have been Wolf Spirit, Winn and Tivonna. Your friendship, support and words of encouragement, are a part of my soul. Love yous <3
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