Austin, Tx M2F CD/Trans
seeking a place to grow
On particularly rough days, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100℅, and that's pretty good. 12 followers / 478 words
Friends, flirting, fun times It’s been so long since I felt this way. She pulled me in close, but she let me down gently. So I suppress, contain, at times restrain my love for her. It’s painful to hang on, we still have great times together. I know our friendship is strong. I want her in my life I tell myself I will NEVER find another I tell myself there will be another I tell myself I will Never find another I tell myself there Will be another I tell myself I will never find another Time will take what time needs to lead me through this. So I suppress, contain, at times restrain my love for her. I tell myself I WILL find another.
Love & Relationships are tough for all; Add being transgender (MtF), still very attracted to females it's close to imposable. Many of us have the feeling of "Forever being alone" Oh we have friends but a soul connecting partner, not likely. But like everyone I still hold on to HOPE.
The first time I realized my feelings for you, I tried to imagine what we would be like. I would always hit the obstacle Built to protect me from more rejection, Contain the feelings of loneliness My way to cope, sustained life You found the secret entrance And touched my heart You have invited my imagination To blend with yours A true since of happiness Puppy like excitement has reentered my thoughts I am grateful to be on this adventure
The light at the end of the tunnel is visible. My mind is racing, but I have a calmness of relief. I’ve given all I could to those I love. One more sun rise to warm my soul before my body goes cold. I’ve caused enough pain Mostly to myself If only I could find the strength To live without fear And be the woman within. I blame no one but myself, For I am a coward One more sun rise to warm my soul before my body goes cold.
No title just an ending. I have decided to share this because I'm in a much better place emotionally now. I had forgotten about this writing and came across it while I was purging my drive. Luckily I realized I really needed help, I had entered into an extreme danger zone and took action, deep breath and asked for help. The light at the end of the tunnel doesn't have to be the end but a much better, happier & loving time in THIS life. If you find yourself still reading this remember to show love to everyone, you may save a life. On a scale of 1 - 10, my life now I would give an 8 on average with increasing spikes of 10. It's by far easy but I now have the support and love of so many people in my life. Most know nothing about my climb out of the pit. As for this site my Angels have been Wolf Spirit, Winn and Tivonna. Your friendship, support and words of encouragement, are a part of my soul. Love yous <3