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517 · Nov 2014
Because of Interstellar
brokenperfection Nov 2014
quantum physicians may not be able to write out an equation
showing proof of our bond,
but the ties that bind reach across the galaxies and beyond
and biology professors at the ivy league schools may not
be able to explain why my heart thrums faster when I think
about you, but my pulse is yours and I guarantee I can feel
you in every measurable thing that I do
it's funny... multiple dimensions couldn't even keep us apart,
and my body has been frayed and fuzzy since I left you--
from the start
of this journey toward self-realization and humanization
but the one thing that no one can deny is that time exists  
a watch is not a thing to keep time;
a watch is proof of the seconds before and now and after
and it certainly isn't ours to keep
but we could borrow some and place our fate in the
hands of that fragile wristband and call it an
insurmountable thing
I would venture to say
that we could call it love,
we can call it you and me
and science cannot create nor destroy us
gotta watch it 100 more times
508 · Aug 2014
Streets
brokenperfection Aug 2014
Hey, kid
Your eyes hold things only grown men should see
Don't worry, little one, the sting of mortality only lasts for forever
Hey, kid
The way you lug your weary body around haunts my sleep
Don't worry, little one, the bad certainly cannot last for eternity
Hey, kid
Is that a knife in your hand?
Come on, little one, think things through
Life won't always be unfair to you  
Hey, kid
Why'd you **** her?
That orphanage could have been your saving grace
Now you're indefinitely
A ward of the state
Hey, kid
I found your brothers and sisters
Their gravestones side by side
How lovely they look, adorned with dead flowers
Kid, where's your ma?
Hey, you can't go in there
Come on, buddy, the cops'll find ya
Let's go home
Hey......
Arson won't solve your problems, kid
I'm losing hope
In your lost world
I tried to help ya, kid
But you have to want
To be savable
Hey........
I just got the call
What a shame, what a waste
I'll miss you, kid.
502 · Aug 2014
Mediocre
brokenperfection Aug 2014
when I was in the fifth grade
we were told to put our names on notecards
and to pass them around the class
so that each student could write
one nice word
about each of us in turn
and I had a crush on a boy
and I wrote "nice" on his notecard
and he wrote on my notecard
"mediocre"
and to this day my heart doesn't know
if it is more in awe that he knew such a word
or if it is offended and crushed
and five kinds of hurt
and boys are dumb anyway
and I constantly wonder
how mediocre I am
485 · Dec 2014
Inebriated
brokenperfection Dec 2014
the buzz is a violent truth serum
that enslaves you as its quilled pen

it requires certain demands of you  
things you cringe at upon waking

because suddenly

you've unraveled a beautiful scroll
and marked it with broken charcoal

and kissed it with a wine-stained mouth--
your stamp of drunken approval

to make sure that the one
who should never receive it

is exactly the one
who gets bit on the lips

by your alcoholic kiss
your inebriated, late night diss
471 · Sep 2014
To Pat
brokenperfection Sep 2014
conversations with pat turn into
an all-out battle rap
people would think we're insane, crap
I swear nick isn't a pope, what a faux cat
pat's always talking about **** and it's bat-
crap crazy but who am I to judge
sometimes life throws you in the dung-
eon and you gotta discuss it over fudge,
son listen up, be better, do better
let her borrow your sweater and then
go get her
use all your might or she'll take flight and aw
next thing you know, you're stuck with **** and
an unpopelike cat with three names and
she kept your sweater
I know this
I'm a fortune teller
469 · Aug 2014
Chain Reaction
brokenperfection Aug 2014
your hands
grasp my hips
my fingers
touch your lips
your mouth
shocks my neck
my mouth
leaves yours wet
your stomach
presses mine
my stomach
grows butterflies
your legs
tangle the sheets
my legs
feel your heat
your eyes
watch me move
my eyes
watch you
451 · Aug 2014
Circle of Life
brokenperfection Aug 2014
Peering through the dense trees,
Sinking low, light footsteps
He stalks his prey.
A newborn pup
Yipping and clumsy
Falling over herself
Just to stand back up
And do it again.
The hunter shifts between the silken grass
And the soft clay earth
Keeping his eye on the promising young blood
Craving her bones and fleshy meat.

The pup licks her paws
Pouncing on small bugs and feathers
She laughs with a bark that sounds like music
Burying her new toys, she wiggles her tail in the air
Then digs in to the earth with zero inhibition
She is vibrant and strong, a natural-born leader.  
Happy, free, and full of promise.

Nose to the ground,
He anticipates the musky smell
Of his close-knit pack
He advances, visceral and quick
His vision turns a violent red as he
Loses his stealthy and cautious movements
His gait lengthens and he slides in the dirt
Snapping his jowls, he is wild with hunger.

The pup yelps and snarls,
Too small to fight back
But trying her mightiest to stand her ground.
Her attacker sinks his teeth in from behind,
Slashing his rustic head back and forth
Listening to her fading cries as he growls with success.
Shaking every ounce of strength from the
Poor girl's lifeless form,
He tastes sweet victory and steps back
Satisfied with his current catch.

He turns his head to call his pack;
A wolf's howl only the moon can hear
But he sees instead the sad, vacant eyes of
The pup's grieving father.
441 · Oct 2014
Tuesday
brokenperfection Oct 2014
a Time for hushed wind
Unseen forces pushing white clouds
in Ever-present blue skies
they Say no drinking before noon, but
I quietly Declare a glass of wine
can be A quite sophisticated gesture
if You take the time to celebrate
the most fantastic of Tuesdays.
430 · Dec 2014
Sabotage
brokenperfection Dec 2014
Do you want to know why I stayed?
I threatened so many times to disappear before you glimpsed
the worst parts of me, through whispers and fists and biting
my lips to stop the eruptions of volatile girl from stabbing
you with my skeletons.
In the misty, early hours when neither of us were sleeping
because you were scared I'd go and I was scared I wouldn't,
I showed you the nooks and crannies of my character, the
crevices and caverns of my interchanging moods.
I did my very best to upset and cause unrest and I flung
every miserable curse in the direction I thought you'd be going.
I screamed my violence and mistakes against the front door
and told you I had proven you right.
I was unlovable.
I was a dysfunctional bundle of bones and you were
better off without me.
And I turned over to sob myself to sleep and considered
how I would also be better off without myself and as I
went to hit my pillows-
As I heaved in a shuddering breath of regret and guilt
and my lungs expanded to places I had never felt before,
You reached out and caught me and inserted yourself as
a root in my flailing, upended life.
You stroked my hair and cradled my shivering body and
quieted my sobs and told me there was no way in hell
that you'd leave this beautiful mess.
You said that I punish myself for being anything other than
what I think I should be. You said that I wreck the things
I love the most so that they won't one day see me as
a monster, and you're right. I prove how horrible I am
before you can. I sabotage so that I can say
I know. I'll let you go.
But you absolutely refuse to go,
So here I stay.
424 · Feb 2015
Finished
brokenperfection Feb 2015
I  decide  not  to  name  my  poems  until 
I'm  completely
416 · Sep 2014
Dependent
brokenperfection Sep 2014
I dream that you'll carve yourself into my skin again
Rooting your essence into my flesh like a hot branding iron
The way you used to sway me with your mind
Left me breathless and out of touch
I dream that you'll sit by my side again
The pair of us stronger than any other, stronger than me
I need you to meld your bones with mine
It's urgent; I'm fading
Brittle calcium pockets exploding
I cannot stand on my own
I dream of you turning into me
The only me that can exist
The me who is not Me without You
407 · Dec 2014
Urn
brokenperfection Dec 2014
Urn
I am a master at the art of ashes
human cremation takes artistic commitment
once the smell of singed eyebrows
burns your nose you can never be the same again
you know, my skin grew flame retardant and at first I wished grossly to return it and buy a new shell
but I've made the executive decision to aerate my diaphragm and pump this fire out of my pores and into your palms
singing with a slow burn
branding your sweet fingerprints into my skull
see, something outside of myself must contain me or I'll spill, gritty and fine
end over end into the depths of the alleyways and cobblestones
but, to be quite frank, I'm drowsy
so I'd rather you climb to the top of the world and release me, softly letting me blanket everything I've ever come to love
instead of confining me in that ugly porcelain jar that I spent my entire life peering at
while it hovered, haunting me, above my birthing ground
sitting precariously on that wooden mantle
above my fireplace
above my home.
392 · Jan 2015
Belt
brokenperfection Jan 2015
how many licks does it take to get to the center of my destruction?
390 · Aug 2014
Caused then Affected
brokenperfection Aug 2014
Fragments of distorted glass
The disease of the blind showing through
I don’t know where I’m going but I do know You

The pavement is broken and cold like death
Do we ever reach the end of the tunnel?
I’ve spun in circles, losing my mind
Gathering the ashes into a funnel

Sometimes I drive so fast that I
can’t hear myself at all
That’s exactly what I wanted
The free before the fall

But I glanced in my rearview mirror
And still I felt so haunted
My heart beat faster than a hummingbirds'
Never brave enough to go undaunted

I panicked and swerved away from
This mad and invisible thing
I angled my mirror to hide the mess
But something stared back at me

Raising my fist to silence the noise,
I shattered the source of my pain
Scaring myself into resignation
The world started to rain

I’ll never know if there’s a tunnel
A light to end my fears
The car came at me going sixty miles
I had no time for tears

Sure, I’ll rest peacefully
Kind words whispered in my hair
Lowered six feet beneath the ground
No life, no sound, no air

My mind is quiet and my spirit is free,
Free from the chains of the earth
I can only hope that I’ve been given a gift
A second chance, a rebirth

If only I hadn’t been so scared
This freedom would not be so soon
But I was the cause of my own death
My funeral was at noon
I know that it is "cause and effect". Just a simple play on words.
389 · Aug 2014
Carnal Cravings
brokenperfection Aug 2014
nights like these I think about all the people I don't know
no time is consumed the way mine is as I sit very still and imagine someone
halfway across the world sitting as still as me
sometimes I wonder if some person in china just took the same breath as me
thought the same thought as me
only, in her native tongue
is there a person out there who looks exactly like me?
I have this extreme addiction of needing to be connected to strangers
I'll be driving past someone halted at a red light
and I think
oh my god, I've most likely never met that person but I just glimpsed them
and they just glimpsed me
and for one quick second we /existed/ to each other
that person existed and was on my mind
if I hadn't been driving at that exact moment, quite possibly
I never would have known that there WAS a driver
how crazy is that?
and sometimes I people watch
and I don't know if it's my own mental block or if I'm just beyond weird
but I imagine their lives and how they are as a person;
it's like I make people have tones like music or wine or a conversation would
and I can't fathom their minds, fears, stories, families, paths, selves
life is so tough for me to drag myself through, and yet maybe someone else
with completely different circumstances and experiences from me
is feeling the same way
or maybe they aren't
maybe there are people out there who don't feel this way
I'd like to meet them, I'd like to meet all of them
even if I were to despise their choices or maybe they disrespected me
who cares?
they existed to me
and I cannot figure out why  
but the simple knowledge of that feeds my soul intensely
375 · Sep 2014
Ashes
brokenperfection Sep 2014
take my photos and frame them
I have lit the fire pit and am simply waiting
for you to toss me to the embers
each wooden corner of my person will get swallowed
whole
a boa constrictor of kindling opening its quivering jaws to inhale me
and when the smoke quiets and the sparks stop kissing the dead grass
I'll smile emptily and be reduced to dust
375 · Oct 2014
Raspy
brokenperfection Oct 2014
my throat is being crushed*
I subconsciously know this is a dream
but I cannot shake myself loose
funny how we are supposed to be
in control of our destinies
while we are sleeping
I am my own hero
when my mind is elevated out of my
shell-shocked body
I am choking and heaving but
nothing enters my lungs
I am soon going to quit feeling
it is a weird darkness
that I have been entombed in
no strangers or murderers or
demonic beings are trying to
steal my breath from my ribcage
it is just me
I   just   need   to   tell    myself
      to                     inhale  




...

..

.


I am awake
I **** air through my teeth--
Notes (optional)
360 · Aug 2014
To Be a Bird
brokenperfection Aug 2014
remember to fly
                                        quickly

lest your wilted wings
                                                      surrender

come alive with the the rapid thrum of your  
                                                          ­  
       heart  

trace patterns left behind by billowing
                                                                               clouds  

or create your own portraits in the dense evening
                                                                ­                          fog

head south amongst your most loyal
                                                                              brothers

and find your purest solace in
                                                                 heaven

               
                          bird
to  be  a
354 · Dec 2014
*
brokenperfection Dec 2014
*
I had what I thought was a brilliant idea for a poem, once, a short while ago
it crafted itself slowly up my spine and into the quietest parts of my brain where I try to spend most of my time
as I went to align wispy thought with centered, cemented object
an unavoidable task popped up that demanded my attention and distracted me from starting my piece
and just like that,
my brilliant, invisible moment in time was released back into the atmosphere
it is probably hanging around air plane wings and dreaming of things far more important than cloud stuff
I have noticed a measurable pattern akin to this idea that if we do not act on our conscious thought, it can, in a moments' notice, be whisked away from us
while we are and while we breathe and exist, that voice in our minds can come and go as it pleases
we should try our hardest to grasp what we can, maybe
or maybe we should be thankful for the pieces we are allowed to fit together into a thing called life
I don't know, I don't know
it disappeared into thin air
338 · Sep 2015
The Forever Fight
brokenperfection Sep 2015
hooded
were her eyes,
not unlike the figures dancing in her dreams,
not unlike the ghosts slinking from shadow to shadow.
why did they travel by darkness?
the most haunting of our demons are felt deep into dawn.

petals
pulled apart,
handful by shaking handful,
dissolving into wilted puddles at her feet.
were they not a thing of beauty, even in their dying breath?
a muse is born from the entrails of despair.

glass
as if the sea were a hand crafted treasure,
as if her tears somehow molded into the newest stars,
depression was not a thought until it was pressed into her lips.
will it sink her again?
brilliance never sleeps alone.
326 · Oct 2017
intrinsic
brokenperfection Oct 2017
my love shan't be muffled under a heavy silence
nor dimmed in the twinkling light of a lantern
my love is to be as free as the butterflies come spring

it shall burst from the cocoon of winter's frost
and set aflame those hearts whom evil has trapped behind bars

my love shall restore weary souls as the sun trickles in

it will transcend the limitations of humanity
and rebirth a nation full of grace

and full of peace
be good to one another
319 · Feb 2016
Eternal
brokenperfection Feb 2016
all of the people I barely know
having new boyfriends, babies, cars
the loves of their lives,
the ones they cannot live without
replaced yet again
crashing their shiny cars into ditches
and returning to the auto dealers
to get suckered into another contract
with debt
with RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

I will not have that with you
we will withstand the lows
and climb higher than the highs
digging our heels into the ground
until we've made a permanent safe place for ourselves
for our love
for our sanity
for social media to gawk at
again and again
and again
318 · Aug 2014
Message in a Bottle
brokenperfection Aug 2014
scribble my years on a square of parchment,

wrap me up tight and secure me with a bow

place me in grandfather's glass bottle,  

then send me down the river row by row
316 · Oct 2014
Incandescence
brokenperfection Oct 2014
if air can be an electrical conductor,
just imagine what our mouths can create
a brief explosion of light and sound designing
a force field too strong to hold back
I am an electron; you are my ion
we emit energy so sizzling and sharp
that the hair stands up on the back of our necks
our tongues, like spark plugs
our bodies the batteries that never quite quit
alight in ashes, we are struck
together like stones and our
brightness breaks through
the haze of the dim world
we're igniting a riot
we are a spark
fuel our flame
blow us away into the atmosphere
314 · Dec 2014
Look
brokenperfection Dec 2014
the busiest sidewalks breed the deepest secrets
yet everyone pretends that they've forgotten how to speak
if we took a moment to watch how
the truth tumbles out from crumpled coffee cups and crinkled napkins
we may learn a thing or two
about our hollow brethren
312 · Oct 2014
Afloat
brokenperfection Oct 2014
cracked lips
we stare at each other
across miles of quilted water
rush hour mutes my sadness
but the evening doesn't hide
the shadows like I hoped it would
your fingertips are cool and maybe
I'm grounded for a little bit
at least you still want to touch me,
at least you're here
I struggle as dusk lands on the heavy soil
groggy with the pressure I put on myself
to be okay
for me
for you  
but sometimes my *** holes are sealed
and so even though I'm cracked and broken
underneath, I can guarantee you won't trip
and fall into my darkness
ahhh...
the movies promise a happy ending
after ninety minutes of heartache and
life questioning and making up and
tears and snot and fresh bandages
so maybe it would be a good idea to
stay in and watch something tonight
it may keep me afloat
310 · Feb 2016
Six Feet Under
brokenperfection Feb 2016
shivering in the snow
brittle, glittering diamonds
both so fragile and perfect..
both so deadly.
wearing each to sleep
a blanket of clear, white slumber
hushing the sounds from above,
resting in peace.
308 · Nov 2014
Take Care
brokenperfection Nov 2014
Too many of us sling tasks over our shoulders that are better left to those who request they be completed

Days turn into weeks of selfless help and pretty soon we stop doing for us-- instead doing for everyone else

Then eventually we shake our hollow frames and the dust flies off and settles and we take a good long look in the mirror and say it's our turn

There is something to be said about helping one another but there is a quiet strength in admitting that we need help, too.
308 · Aug 2014
Salve
brokenperfection Aug 2014
a    p o e m    a    d a y     k e e p s    t h e    d e m o n s    a t    b a y
305 · Oct 2014
Fortune Petals
brokenperfection Oct 2014
loves m
he loves me
he loves me
he loves me
he loves me
loves m
    loves me n                           loves me n
he loves me not                  he loves me not
he loves me not          ©        he loves me not
loves me n                           loves me n
loves m
he loves me
he loves me
he loves me
he loves me
loves m

    •

    ~~•~~

brokenperfection Sep 2014
It is one thing to be haunted by past loves and loss
But it is another to be haunted by the person you have made me

I am forced to live with the girl who is terrified of being.
We all have our demons. We always will.
Mine are no bigger than yours, yet the fact remains
That we are all equally as frightened of dealing with them.
Many days I spend in complete and utter solitude,
Trying my best to be proud of myself or give any
Credit to my name for any good or purposeful thing I have done.
I'm terrible with compliments. Not in the cute, girly way
Where you smile and giggle and say "thanks" and blush
Nah, I literally feel like crying.
I'm messed up.
I lived with someone who accidentally showed me
What it means to be inherently selfish
What it means to be downright nasty and steely cold towards
People that they were supposed to care for.
And it has wrecked me. I lost my sense of identity.
I was so busy walking on eggshells and quieting
My own rights, feelings, and thoughts,
That I started not to have any.
I was kind of brutal. Pushed every single friend away.
Pushed family away. Bombed school.
The human psyche is such an expansive tool.
If we spend our time treating others wrongly,
It messes up the one chance we have at living.
I forgot how to live.
I wasn't taught how to live.
I lost myself.
I always used to imagine this white electric string
Like some new-agey stuff
It was connected to all people for before time and after.
If you're gonna be born next year, the rope has a place for you
Picked out, shiny, bright, ready to showcase you to the world
And if you are miscarried, the rope keeps swinging
On to the next person.
The next birth.
I imagined all of our consciousness' were tied to that string.
That is how we can think the same thoughts and speak languages
How we have souls, maybe the string is the soul
If it always existed then it can always exist
This was my logic
And I got so lost and away from myself
That I imagined I was cut off from the rope
It was the only time I went through with trying
To take my own life.
I thought it was a cruel joke that I could still think about it while
Being so disconnected from it.
I felt abandoned and shunned.
I felt like I could never return.
My panic attacks became violent and life threatening.
Nobody knows, I never told anyone.
When I tried to ask for help for my panic
From my mother
She dismissed me.
Irony would have it that she was also the one
To disconnect me from myself.
So over the years I have fought to rejoin the string
I am back with you people
I am alive again and I expect to stay.
When my time on the rope expires,
It will not be of my own hand.
Because my mother gave me one gift
Accidentally, of course
My mother taught me never to let
Someone else dictate my place
On the String of Consciousness.
303 · Sep 2015
When Earth Quakes
brokenperfection Sep 2015
the stark contrast of her short hair against her delicate face utterly baffled me, if only for a moment.
I had known her as nothing less than balanced and complete
smooth edges melting into curves and grooves so fine,
a telescope couldn't tell where she started or ended.
years ago we'd held hands as the earth shook under our dusty feet,
locking ourselves in place to watch hopelessly as life as we knew it... crumbled.
without understanding why, I hadn't been afraid
perhaps her uninhabited laughter was my antidote to all things broken.
now, looking out over the marina,
remembering how she giggled as the fish danced sonnets through the currents,
splashing her tanned legs in pure merriment as we watched their undersea show,
I felt like I had made it all up.
maybe her eyes never sparkled as she scolded jillian tarver for her promiscuity
maybe her cheeks didn't warm when I delighted over her paintings in the sunroom.
it was a different dimension, back then, one I had tried to forget -- not because she was an unfavorable memory -- no, because in order to make something of myself, I had to let her go.
that hair...
I always told her how her soft curls drifting across her freckled shoulders would drive men mad, would drive me mad.
she would scoff and pretend to bat at me and tell me she was nothing special; she attempted for all she was worth to convince me she wasn't worthy of my every last affection.
I promised her she was wrong.
not only did I break that promise, but I broke what was left of my ability to care... for anything, for anyone, for myself.
she....
she had three lovely kids and a house on the hilltop with my best friend, and wouldn't you know that she chopped all her hair off and died it black.
I turned from her gaze and resolved to look out at the marina, at my marina, at my spectacle of dead fish dancing for my eyes only.
next time the ground cared to rumble, maybe I should hitch a ride.
301 · Sep 2014
Uh Oh
brokenperfection Sep 2014
I am becoming deliciously addicted to
Sharing my everything with complete strangers
Who seem to connect with me
Better than my life-long comrades
297 · Sep 2014
Above the Canyon
brokenperfection Sep 2014
muses hide in plain sight
they are butterflies
sidewalks
criminals
strawberries
couples
death
romance
I have been considering
the simple possibility
that I may be my own muse

for most things
that I can quantifiably say exist
because of my five senses
are all defined
by me
anyway, once I am gone
they will be my muses no longer
296 · Oct 2014
--
brokenperfection Oct 2014
--
every letter I bring into being
gets erased and sent back to sleep
finding lost words is no easy feat
when you've been muffled
most of your life
they told me to be free and find my passion
but stunted me from having feelings

I feel like a trapped wild animal
backed into a corner by empowered oppressors
under the guise of maturity, authority
I've been led into a pit of suffocating quiet
although this pen serves as compass to my quest
it cannot yet heal the verbal cues I have always dreamed of placing
atop their demonic heads
293 · Oct 2014
S.A.D
brokenperfection Oct 2014
The cold is nipping at my heels again
For two days I have been deluded into
Thinking that Autumn
May actually feel like Autumn

Rows of the skeletons I have shut up in my
Cabinets are now standing bare and silent
Along the horizon; they taunt, they mock
The few leaves they have managed to
Hold on to sway in the chill and
Shudder when I walk past

Three deer creep up to the patio
I watch them behind my safe place
My window is my protective cover
From all that is outside and out of my
Control
Frost sneaks up the wood paneling and
The faint laughter from the school children
Fades into a maniacal howl

Soon the snow will cover the tracks of
The poltergeists who visit me at night
In white robes blanketing their voices,
They surround me and pierce my dreams
Visions of violent assault and grief and
Helplessness
of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Winter steals my Indian summers and
Whips me with brutal cold and sleet
Warm afternoons turn into car accidents
And black ice and broken people
Soon the snow will present itself  
And the sunlight will fade from my eyes
So let me sleep until spring.
Notes (optional)
293 · Oct 2016
Fading to Black
brokenperfection Oct 2016
today
I am red
so red, and blue
angry and lonely and missing you
mad at myself and my thoughts and this hell
I want to crawl out
so violent, so loud
how do I calm down
fuzzy purple, soft hues
trickling water and morning dew
I miss you, I still miss you!
my mind is a burst of orange and yellow
crazy, untamed, deep, shallow
dilated eyes and gasping mouths
hush hushed in dark browns
I get like this
different shades
I hurt like this
broken spades
don't let me fade
don't let me fade
grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey, grey
291 · Oct 2014
Smoke
brokenperfection Oct 2014
he was thin and white
a habit I couldn't break
leaning against the crumbling walls
mind adrift and shoes making
light scuff marks against the cracked tar
he wore a jean jacket every day and at first
I likened him to a *** but once you
see a person so many times
what they wear becomes who they are
and who they are is what you love
I loved the way he shoved his sleeves
up to his elbows and then he'd
push his messy hair out of his face
with these battered hands that were
subtly caked with paint
sometimes you sense a story about the person
and I wondered for a while if
it would be appropriate for me
to insert myself in his chapters
but you know love
and you know interest
and you know you can't help it
so I broke the barrier and shuffled up beside him
he didn't look at me
just stuck his thumb in his pocket and
rested his right shoe back against the wall
he wouldn't speak so I took his photo
stood directly in front of him and
snapped what would go on to be
the first and last time I saw this drifter
he melted away into the mortar
he curled into the sun
my photo held his existence steady and still
until that evening; I lit it ablaze
you may ask why I didn't catch his name
but it is a known fact that smoke can never
and will never
be one to be captured
Notes (optional)
288 · Sep 2014
Dah
brokenperfection Sep 2014
Dah
I saw myself tonight...
reflected in the hills
and as I drove home the moon lit up
the low-creeping fog like ghosts
making a spectacle of themselves
for attention from us mortals
and the streetlights turned so slow
testing my patience
it was like they were egging me on
making a mockery of my lack of
tranquility and when I
passed that one house with the pond
it's my favorite house
usually so bright and beautiful
two car garages and a variety of trucks
trampolines and pools and rich
wouldn't you know the house was shut up
even the wealthy won't look at me
and I twisted and turned down the curves
and across bridges and under branches
I thought I knew my way around
could drive this road with my eyes shut
but wouldn't you know the construction
workers were out late  
gnawing on granola and warm water
telling me, "turn around!"
like I was just supposed to know
my way home
from a new perspective
so as I reversed, over weeds and fallen
bramble and beaten, worn paths
I once again found the hills
looked deep into myself and thought,
hey
maybe life just ends up this way
287 · Aug 2015
10w
brokenperfection Aug 2015
10w
because of you, I am not feeling so broken anymore.
284 · Dec 2014
Red
brokenperfection Dec 2014
Red
when you speak out of turn, the ground shakes
I sealed your lips with dried blood but you were always one to fight through the pain
holding your red face between my cracked palms, I glimpse confinement
a place I have been to... a hell I will not lock myself in again
yet the humanity in your eyes braces itself against your chest and you push and you push until I split in two
half of me igniting with a desire to save you and the other desperately begging me to save myself
I am standing on solid air and I am falling upward
defined and confined
trapped in a box of infinity
with no one to turn to but the reflection of me:
you
282 · Nov 2014
Untitled
brokenperfection Nov 2014
I find myself here again
In an uncomfortably familiar place..
I am standing at Death's door.
My fist is raised to knock;
To beg him to let me in
But the wooden tomb swings open
Before I can change my mind.
It's like he was waiting for me,
He knew I'd come crawling back.
With dark wind ******* me forward,
One thought enters my depleted mind
Before I lose consciousness for good:

The hardest trials I will ever face..
Are the tests of my will against that
Welcoming, open door.
So I step forward to walk through--
To finally end this exhausting misery...
To quiet the malevolence
That has trapped me for far too long.
And my hands find a hold in the chipped, Gnarled frame
And they slam that door shut.
The wallowing endless dark screams insanity and curses and shames me as I lock out the worst part of myself and demand that she never return
N e v e r
R e t u r n
I walk away from that door.
I don't look back.
281 · Sep 2014
Neutral [I Killed You]
brokenperfection Sep 2014
I drove your mind into a river
Parked your dreams on the sand
You clutched at my body but I threw you out of gear
Rolled down your eyelids and your heart played static
Over the line I heard the radio chatter
"He's gone," they voiced
Exhaust fumes suffocated your family
As they choked out their goodbyes
Your console had filled with water
Muffled your drowning cries
And in those last moments your clock said
6:43
Funny, it almost looks like
B, Y E
280 · Sep 2014
?
brokenperfection Sep 2014
?
Lost,
as we are, with no rhyme or reason
Lost is a cliche thing that we all experience
but I feel it especially when I wake up

Sad,
as we are, with no rhyme or reason
Sad is a cliche thing that we all experience
but I feel it especially when I wake up

I silently sit in malls and on benches provided
by who?
I claim they are mine either way
my benches allow me to partake in the human experience
I feel it especially when I'm sleepy
I lose myself in a world of separate lives and minds and thoughts
I realize, too late, that I am staring at someone who is staring back at me
I feel it especially when I'm weeping
279 · Aug 2014
Nah
brokenperfection Aug 2014
Nah
maybe the universe wouldn't mind explaining to me
why we romanticize how we'd react in tragedies
I mean, we watch the news until our eyes glaze over
another school shooting, dozens more killed here, there
and we have the guts to say
"I would have done this differently"
no
I dare you to stare down controversy
chances are
your name and mine would also end up on an
R.I.P scroll at the bottom of the CNN media
277 · Sep 2014
Not Yet
brokenperfection Sep 2014
hello, I am busy
looking for the cracks in your porcelain halo
to be happy is to be in the practice of
letting your sorrows unfold into the atmosphere
they are still there; they swirl and drift lazily into bird wings and against the sides of tall mountains
but to breathe and let them be is to be happy
lately I have sat still thinking of my pulse
of our pulses when we connect our wrists together to feel that extra oomph
and I have deduced that I cannot breathe as easily as it was to recognize happiness
not yet
we are cracked porcelain
274 · Sep 2014
She and He
brokenperfection Sep 2014
she's like a ticking time bomb itching to detonate
cut the wrong wire and you're toast
handle her with care and slow her heart rate
or she'll scatter your pieces across the coast

he's like a wilted willow tree trying to stand tall
pull on his limbs and he'll come undone
watch his sad leaves detach and fall
abuse him until he is none
274 · Aug 2014
Her
brokenperfection Aug 2014
Her
My heart, it can't take much more
Knowing your secrets, your core
Does she touch you the way I do?
Does she love you like I want to?
Tell me, when you're awake at night
Shadowed by her hair and the moonlight
Do you think of me?
This is a game of run and chase
I'm the mouse, and she's the snake
I could prove myself to you but what good would it do
If you stay by her side until death turns you blue?
I see the way you fight and the fire in her eyes
She'd rather make you miserable than admit her lies
How can you stay?
I envision us woven together,
You and me bound by a tether
Discovering crevices and dips and grooves
The way your shoulders feel so smooth
My dreams are of you doing better, for you
My hope is that you will add me in, too
She'll call me a home wrecker, it may be fact
But don't let our chance slip through the cracks
271 · Nov 2014
A[pathetic]
brokenperfection Nov 2014
there is no way that this cold, empty bed
can hold the weight of my feelings tonight
I can't bring myself to turn the light off because the shadows will pull every fear out of my body and play them like projections
on my walls once my eyes finally adjust
they tell you that heart ache gets better
but no one shows you how to quiet the present
and if my pillow has to endure one more sob, one more heavy sigh,
one more night of me staring blankly into the ridges
of my wall paper while trying not to crumble,
I swear,
it'll stage a riot and leave me
just like you have
269 · Oct 2014
Trick or Get Beat
brokenperfection Oct 2014
you're a piece of trash
a misshapen forgotten thing that I kick under my bed
rotten carcasses hold more genuine character than you
and I'd rather inhale them than catch the stench of your pretentious flesh
you're a selfish troll with daggers for eyes and knives for a tongue
attending masquerade ***** with a guise so clever, everyone we know thinks you're actually a human being
they think, for some funny reason, that you're my mother

I'm six years old
trying on witch hats and scar faces
you grab my arms and shake me
you tell me the candy people will assume they're painted bruises for October 31

I'm not scared of monsters
and I'm not scared of you
I'm scared of who I'll become

this Halloween I'm dressing up
I'm a person with a chain metal suit shielding my most precious insides
and pretending to be something I've never, ever been:
Brave.
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