I fell in love with the way you made me feel safe.
I fell in love with the way your arms made me feel small.
I fell in love with the way your laugh sounded with mine,
I even fell in love with the sadness, the roughness.. fell in love with it all.
But you don't make me feel safe,
You make me feel on edge.
And im in your arms
But im stuck in my head.
And im swimming in my own sadness now,
Because i can't help but playback our memories,
And even though most were good,
The name calling gets the best of me.
I've always done this thing,
Where i spell words inside my head
And usually at night
Im finding letters to lies that you had said.
Forgiving is easy,
But forgetting I cant.
I wish it were different,
Like what we first had.
I dont want to argue
And i dont want either of us broken hearted,
But sometimes fighting comes naturally
When my little heart is so guarded.
Its hard to see a future
When I cant see past next month.
With every fight I lose my faith,
And i dont know if love is enough.
I've spent a lot of time
wasting away my days
And i can't help but wonder
If this is just another case.
I never wanted perfect.
I wanted raw and real,
But now I dont even know what this is,
And i dont even know how to feel.
Its like before a bruise has healed,
Here comes another round of hurt.
And im trying to tend to the pain,
And then you give me just one more burn.
Its like I'm sliding down a rope
And my hands are burning on the way down
It would be easier to just let go,
But im scared to fall 10 inches to the ground.
I cant let go of the idea
That you planted at the start.
Yeah you keep on breaking it,
Why do you even have my heart.
I feel out of control.
Because you define my feelings more than I do.
And sometimes I try to take the reigns,
But my heart belongs to you.