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..
aryanalynae Jun 2018
..
I’m frustrated not mad
And I’m confused but not sad

Why
aryanalynae Jun 2017
Avoiding
Detour
Pretend
Ignore

Silence the
Truth
And ignore
The lie
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really think that anymore
I used to believe it to my core
And sometimes I wonder
What I am even wondering for

Less wondering
More remembering
Replay replay again and again
Less wondering
More remembering
Replay the end again and again
all
aryanalynae Jun 2018
all
.







... this seems to say it all.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Ask me
About love
And I’ll tell you
All about heartbreak.

How I’ve found
people who made me
laugh
But how I found
out they never stay.

How someone gave me
memories
And then they took
them away.

How someone gave me
hope,
But then they left me
disappointed in the end,

And how something so beautiful
can start,
But stop just as quickly
as it began.
aryanalynae May 2018
Something shifted
Something lifted
A weight maybe
Away, away baby.

I’m in my center
And I’m manipulating the scene
When I’m in my center
I manifest my dreams
aryanalynae Jun 2018
pull my hair
spank my *****
grab my thighs
and do what you do to me

tell me what you want
tell me what I'm gonna do
give me those instructions
so I know just what to do

call me baby,
call me anything you'd like
just make sure you call me
before 11pm tonight.
aryanalynae Jul 2017
someone notice
i'm wearing this little black dress.
want someone to see my lace set.
need eyes not a compliment.
  
someone feel this.
lets slow dance
grind my hips.
pretend that its pleasant.

grab these thighs
get aggressive with soft hands and slow grinds.
make me feel that first time
'i'm high' sigh tonight.

someone notice
i put on this little black dress.
aryanalynae Jul 2017
come a little closer baby
i feel like letting you in.
and i feel like telling you everything,
that i held so deep within.

all those little secrets.
all the those times i was shy
and here i am open arms,
and i'm ready to explain the fright.

and i'm ready to tell you the *****.
the clean, the boring, the new.
i'll tell you what you want to hear,
i just feel like talking to you.

come a little closer baby.
i feel like letting you learn.
the ropes and maze to my heart,
but i won't lie i'm still concerned.

i don't know how much it'll last,
so lean in while you can.
i've got things to whisper baby,
so lean in, just take my hand.
aryanalynae Aug 2017
ignore it
pretend it,
didn't happen.

forget it.
hide it.
avoid it.
aryanalynae Jun 2017
if people knew
the thought you have when they are away

do you think, they'd contemplate
the idea of staying?

do you think it'd change their mind?

do you think it'd change their heart?

even if it didn't..

do you think it'd be a start?
aryanalynae May 2018
spiritually enlightened
Life’s consciousness Is heightened
And I’m dreaming but I’m creating
I’m invisioning and procreating
aryanalynae Jun 2017
facing forward and leaning back
i'm in the moment, and i'm on track.
i'm living for tonight, but i'm breathing for tomorrow
and i'm screaming tonight, but i'll be whispering tomorrow.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I actually loved you
And our instant connection.

But now I’m unsure,
And I’m just left guessing.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
That leather jacket
What happened.

That zig zag zong
Our playlist of songs.

Staying up until the sunrise
What happened to that look in your eye.

We know what happened.
Sometimes I wish it didn’t
aryanalynae May 2018
Haven’t felt it
In a minute

Haven’t dealt it
But I might give it
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I want to be valued
For it all

My looks, my brain,
My heart.

I want to be heard,
About it all

My pain, my future,
and all my inner songs.

I want to be stopped
And told right from wrong
When I’m making fast decisions,
And my moms the last one I’ll call.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
You used to leave your door unlocked
And I used to throw back the shots
Climb into your bed
And remove my socks
Then you’d undress me
Caress me
Make a mess of me

I’d wake in the dawn
Before light I’d be gone
Sometimes we’d grab food
If I needed a ride from you

Used to hit my cell up
Whenever you were still up
I used to be the girl that picked you up from the bar
Cuz I was too young and you were always so far

Used to be the one you came to
When you were feeling lonely and needing someone to come clean to

Someone you relied on
But only in the ways you allowed
Now I watch as you found happiness
And i couldn’t be anymore proud

You found your something
You never could find in me
And you would think that I’m sad
But I’m genuinely happy

Happiness looks good on you two
And on all of those nights i knew what they meant to you

Friends in the sheets
But not on the streets
Not in town
Just when nobody was around

Just us,nothing to tell
But man how I miss when you’d drag me through hell.
aryanalynae Jun 2017
salty air,
not by the sea.

inches like miles,
and choked back tears.
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I’m not saying bye this time
Won’t be the first to say hello
Because I’m tired of feeling so high
Only to feel so low

Tired of the dissatisfaction
Tired of my minds replays
Tired of your words
Just tired of being tired all day.

Maybe it’s good
And maybe it’s bad
Maybe it’ll happen
But I’ve detached myself from that

What happens will happen
Let’s just see how it goes
Just want to see how it plays out
You see, I finally let go of the hope
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I don’t love like I used to
My heart doesn’t give as much
I blame it on them
But it was your touch.

It was your moves
The way you made me frozen in fear
Beg for your love
But your love was too near

Too close for comfort
You are breaking her heart
In her eyes lies sadness
And she doesn’t even know that part
aryanalynae Jun 2017
i cried and then i thought about it
i thought about it and then i laid in bed.
i laid in bed and then i poured my heart out
into a sea of words left unsaid.

and i whispered every word,
every confused and unmarked letter.
and then i cried some more,
even though i knew so much better.

i laughed and then i smiled.
the smile faded way too quick
and i would've cried some more,
if the tears didn't make me feel so sick.

my head is numb from the knowledge,
i knew it was coming too fast.
and now my heart is learning,
but this concept.. it just can't grasp.

i cried and then i shivered.
i thought this feeling would fade so much quicker.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I bet she doesn’t know
What I know
What you felt
What I feel
How you feel
Where your mind wonders
And even though you haven’t said it out loud in a while
I hear you
idc
aryanalynae May 2018
idc
some nights I just get tired,
but on rare occasion I'm inspired.
and you could say that I acquire
a taste for ink... so desired.

and I feel my mind rewire,
it's ice cold, but it's on fire
and I learn to just aspire
to the mind's elevation, higher
aryanalynae Jun 2018
We were in love
We were supposed to be in love
What happened to us
What happened with not giving up

We were in love
We were supposed to be in love
aryanalynae Jun 2018
mmm

1
2
maybe 3

mmm

rubbing
mmm
inside me

collide in me
sigh with me
enjoy the ride with me

I'm climbing
the timing
it's here
tick
tock

POP
I stop.
aryanalynae May 2018
I’ll admit you got me
But won’t forget that you lost me.

And it’s not as though I wandered off,
We both know the story and why we stopped.

Nobody needs an explanation,
It’s better left unsaid
I still can’t form the words anyway,
I think that’s why I haven’t wept.

I haven’t cried a tear,
I haven’t let out a scream,
I can’t let go of what just happened,
It just seems so unreal to me.

I can’t form the words,
I’m tongue tied and that’s rare,
Normally I’m a master,
But the words.. they just arent there.

Mixed singals, they’re just awful.
They **** my heart up till it’s broke.
And the worst part is I just replay
Every word of every lie you ever spoke.

It doesn’t seem like an end,
Was there just nothing there?
I’m confused by all the moments,
I’m confused, I thought we cared.

Anxious for disappointment,
It was odd how I felt so relieved
When you took the expectations out,
I felt like I could breathe.

Like the fading of the great thing,
We felt and had so much of,
Wasn’t in my head,
..yeah I could tell you lost the love.
aryanalynae Jun 2017
Intimate
Isn't it?

Lovin it,
Making it.

Intuative
Into it.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Tonight I realized
What my muse was
And it hit me hard
Kind of like how I used to be hard headed
And you used to be a kid
And I was a kid
And we were just kids
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Bite me
Smack me
Kiss me
Sass me

Tease me
Release me
Seize me
And please me

Touch
Feel
Fill
As I kneel
aryanalynae Jun 2018
you've had me, you've had me
and you've had me not
so you think that by now
you'd know what you want

you had me, you have me
and you're losing me now
you can either pull me in
or you can let me down

I was yours, and I am yours
but I'm not like before
you've not giving what you've given,
and I'm heart aching for more.

you want to explore
want to know through and through
but I gave you every inch of me,
I have nothing left to expose to you.

let me in, let me in
or let me go, let me go
I'm in this, and I'm willing
how could you not know?
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I wish you’d call.
I wish you’d say anything at all.

I wish you’d cave
But you’re not brave

And I have no strength
I know no strength
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t want to manipulate ya
Just wanna see you happy
Say what you’ve been doing
And let you know I’ve been thinking

About how you deserve the world
You deserve the hearts you have
And i wouldn’t change anything
And I don’t ever really look back

But I still care about you
And I wonder how you are
I know you’re fine without me
But I still love you from afar

It’s the only way I can
It’s the only way I even know how
Just wish I could wish you congrats
Let you know that I am proud
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really know how it works or why it works but things just work sometimes.
But I don’t really know how or why but people do tell lies
aryanalynae Jul 2018
They crave to know
But I won’t go
There anymore
I shut that door

Locked it
Threw away the key
Kept the pictures
And I burned all the frames

Images in my head
Memories on repeat
I don’t talk about them
I just keep them close to me
aryanalynae Jun 2017
I looked into the sky
And I thought of all those times
We had our moments that we thought meant we'd last forever.

And I looked into the sea
And felt all of those feelings
We had when we thought we would last forever.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
maybe you won't at all
maybe I'm not worth the call
maybe I don't know you at all
and maybe I tripped and it wasn't a fall.

maybe I got caught up in the moment
and the dream of what we could be
maybe I saw potential,
potential that you didn't see in me.
aryanalynae Jun 2017
I own myself
I create myself
Fell in love with myself
And oh how it felt.
Nah
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Nah
You could be anywhere
I don’t feel you near
Who are you with?
-nah I won’t wonder there
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I have a note saved
It doesn’t have your name
But it has all the words
That I’d like to say

I won’t send it
I’m waiting for the time
When you reach out
And I can claim what’s mine

My time was risked
You let it go to waste
And now I have nothing left
Maybe you should’ve thought about it that day

Maybe you should’ve reconsidered
When I begged and asked you to
Maybe you shouldn’t of asked me to leave
When it meant I’d be detached from you.

Maybe just maybe you’ll never send that message
But I’m convinced time wasn’t on our side,
And when it is you will be tempted.
aryanalynae Jul 2017
I still check my phone,
and I still search your name.
and I can't stop scrolling,
because scrolling is pain.
aryanalynae Jul 2017
sighing through the evening,
i can't help but feel that sigh.
i'm pausing for a moment,
but the moment passes by
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I’m not perfect
I’m not even that good
I’m decent
And mostly misunderstood
aryanalynae Jun 2018
a chapter
to me
was a page
to you

a match
lit flame
was a match
burned out
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Daddy
I whisper
Dare I say it loud
Baby,
You  grab me
And you turn me around.

Who am I?
You lean in,
Your teeth on my neck
Daddy,
I whimper
And now I’m down on the bed

Back to you
Back up
Face down
Shut up

One
Two
Three
Four
Mmm
I lost count
Punish me
More.
aryanalynae May 2018
I can stop thinking about it
I can detach myself so quick
But as soon as my head hits the pillow
I’m anxious, I’m sad, I quit.
aryanalynae Jun 2017
theres nights where i can't feel you,
no matter the rhythm i breathe.
and some nights i can't shake you,
no matter what demons i feed.

i can't escape the feelings
of torture from the past.
and i'm running towards tomorrow,
but i'm gripping my hand-held flask.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really care
How or why you say it
I just wanna hear it
Feel it
One more time
aryanalynae May 2018
Cluttered and battered
Pieces lay shattered

It’s cold and it’s lifeless
It’s dreaming of times when

It beat for the pulse
It beat for the pulse

And I try to clean it up
I try to fix it up
aryanalynae Jun 2017
proving
misconstruing.

hearing
sneering

fearing
weary.
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