I make a promise to myself
To avoid the past and think of tomorrow,
In the dusk the world is a bitter reddish hue,
Under this happy sky with people dying in war,
It's just what we need to make certain that
We will "make it through," with "endless" life,
But there is really no other way I'm told.
You who deface nature for yourselves alone,
Trash the earth we were given that keeps us alive,
Even then you eat off of plates of gold.
We are your fools who sit in the library,
Reading some important history about
"Non-essential" needs of love and
The glory of the way of tribes past.
Whatever I am saying-even this moment
I'm being laughed at far and wide.
I'm wrong! I'm stupid. Go ahead, say it.
We're going the right direction, leave no stone
Un-turned, let no animal in the woods hide!
You will still show me "perfection" in destruction
And death once I let you get inside my head,
If we are the future, it's already dead...

Forgive me...
I have "spoken wrong" again, been unjust with my words
Forgive me...
I have been eccentric, I haven't followed your personal ideals
Forgive me...
I am on a path to the other side, I am drinking
this "poison" down, it will be my own "undoing"
Forgive me...
Somehow these activities have been the grease
which lubricate the "devils wheels"
Forgive me...
I am underneath all "normalcy," I have seen things
that the children "should not ever see"
Forgive me...
There is a path I have tread upon that bares your mark,
I didn't see the mark before hand but "knew better"
Forgive me...
You are the one! You will show me the way, I am yours
to ****** upon all knowledge both right and wrong
Forgive me...
I will always be in your shadow, I am poor but still
I have "spoiled myself" with work that is lesser

~You will never say two simple words,
they are beyond your comprehension~

~You the "mature," "wise" old one with years of
learning and "pure" precision~

~I am always in your debt, you never need me,
I alone make the untrusted decision~

The two words you would never say are simple:

*~I'm Sorry~

Feel my pain,
etched into time,
I am not the one
to keep others in line,
but sometimes I would
just love to be heard.
I am no one, that's clear,
so no one takes my word.
Put me in a ditch, make
yourselves grand,
you are the only ones who
others understand.
One things for sure-on a cold day
in hell, I'd never give you the time
of day, but I'm no one, so oh well.

Addiction to this
Way of life, this country pride,
While others love it

I slip and fall, behold the water all around, this daze, the overlit tiny
space, hospital, looking at me, doctors piercing gaze.
This is it! I feel their needles pierce my side, fill me with that which
will put out my lights.
I scream and in a rush they tilt my head back and let the pills
go down my throat. I was the one who got myself trapped
by this modern castle moat.
Should have known better, but still I cry, this is it, I'll set fire
to the skies, and no one will ever again sing me sterile lullabies!

*Tick
Tock
Clock
Years
Fears
Covered the empty bed sheets
Tears
Vague memories burned into my skull
Like a flashing bulb
****
All pain is gone
The chills
Spills
Backwards
Slipping into a near coma
From my FREE drug induced state
Speeding heart rate, and yet you,
Sifting through bottles
For that one last pill
To free your cowardly self
From having any free will.

I've been at this for years, and I still can't keep up with you!
You always win at everything I'm best at, so I guess this is the truth,
There is no way to master anything unless you "break bones" at
Everything you do. In this world, it's either "**** or be killed,"
At least in the competitive world. Well, I'm sure that they've
Displayed maturity at every turn making things this way.
The only way to win is to give up at everyone's stupid immature
Game!

What is a poet without an audience?
When I write, I write from my heart.
What does it matter if it's torn apart?
I have to live with these regrets,
I never tried hard enough, make every
Last mess. I will be gone soon, you will see,
And no one in their perfect little world will ever
Miss me. But that's why there's the internet,
Fake modern life, to let you feel as if
You are free.