I first saw her when I was a young kid
she didn't see me because I hid
She was very pretty
but looked at everyone with pity
she was so small
yet she was so tall
she didn't know me
but she could
and she would

we were now teens
where i could be seen
i wanted help
i hated myself
but she was there
she told me what to wear
she said we were friends
till the end

she saw how i thought i was fat
said she would help me get flat
it will be a big fray
but do as i say
she told me

eat less she said
you wont have dread.
lose more weight
you already ate
your so close
pretty like a rose.

just like a rose in a flash of red
i was dead
i was so light
not daring to take a single bite
i was gone
just before dawn.
the self hate was still there
Ana didn't seem to care.

she stood next to the grave
there the last gift she gave
a wicked smile
and took another name from the file.

this was her plan all along
a long twisted song
it was so wrong
now i'm gone
because of that self made demon spawn.
Ana Anorexia has killed me.

Death doesn't scare me
It doesn't make me want to flee
It doesn't scare me,death
Or how I wont take another breath
Death itself doesn't put fear in me
But what dose scare me,
I will explain so you can see

You see I know my fate
Every time I ate,
Every time I loss and gained weight,
Every time I felt hate,
I knew how it would happen

It scares me shitless
How I won't have a witness
To the pain I feel
And can't heal.

I was angry, sad and ******
That I slit my own wrist!

I hate her this girl
And her pearl
She doesn't think we know
She doesn't think it shows
But I'll **** that girl
Her life will end in a swirl

But as I realize that girl I hate so much
Is me, and I couldn't even stand a light touch

But death doesn't scare me
It doesn't make me want to flee
But oh,I'm scared so scared
But what of?
I'm scared of me...

My love,
Is it cliche to say
If i were to fall asleep
Wrapped up in your arms
I'd feel safe and loved.

Is it also cliche to say
That though
I don't believe in a god
But that would be
The greatest blessing i could pray for

My love,
I know its cliche but
Though we are miles
Upon miles apart  
And you aren't within sight
Youre in my heart

Oh love,
I sound so cliche
But i long for the day
My prayers are answered
Where youre holding me
And i'm holding your heart

I run
I run not to exercise
nor to lose weight
I don't run for fun


I like the burning in my lung
It reminds me that I'm still young

It reminds me that I'm still alive
and that i'm stronger then i think

so all i do is run

And it was like an addiction
Who cares about affliction?
Running through my veins
Running through my mind
Holding  me in chains
Making me blind.

But it was an addiction
I couldn't even give you a depiction
Every second on my mind
Wasn't very kind.
I was an addict
It was my addiction

It was an addiction
I'll give you a prediction
I used to be a star
Now i have a scar
Don't follow this white rabbit
It will become a habit.

I never told you...
that during the time we met
I thought of my friends of my only family, no big threat
and in those two years we grew close
one thing i will say that no one knows
within three years
i shed so many tears

You decided you didn't want me anymore
and left me bleeding on the floor
and you took the rest of the family with you
and i never told you so you never knew...

You see you all were my family
and i loved you all
and i took a fall
but you took everyone away
and everything turned gray

you see I've had depression since i was six
and then you pulled out your bag of tricks
and you ****** me so badly
and i couldn't take it, sadly

So i went to that ocean
i had ran out of emotion
and i tried to drown
all i ever did anymore was frown

and i did love you
but not like soul mate love
family love
and i didn't want to lose my family again

and now your doing the same thing now...
and i have continued to fall down.

Love
That’s what I’m in with you
You make my grey skies shine blue
When i’m with you
How can i not smile?
Before i knew you i hadn’t smiled in a while
But oh, your smile…
It puts all the others in exile
And your eyes
They're the reason the sun has to rise
When you laugh  
I could write a more than one paragraph
On how it makes me feel at home
Your voice makes me want to roam
Till i can get to you
Love
I’m so deeply in *love with you
Thank you for being **you

She had red hands
And she wanted them to take her to beautiful lands
But she knows they won't
So she prepares the body
Filling it with pills and cuts
Cause shes gone nuts

She has red hands
And shes not able to do much
She just wish she could feel his touch
But she knows she won't

She has red hands
And she made a mistake
And now its her life she must take

She has red hands
And she wants you to know she still loves you
And she wants to make things better
But to be able to she knows she won't

She'll die with red hands

Mom and dad left when i was young
Brother and sister left when i sung
Friends left when i had pride
You left when i cried
I left when i died

smile for a picture
pose with your brother
be a good sister
wake up your mother
clean up the mister
our family isn't as perfect as it seems it is

I want the world for you

But I'm still scared for us
Each day is coming closer to knowing you

and everyday I'm praying to a god that i know is not real
praying that i will be what you need
praying that i can truly know you

i want you to be happy
i never want you to cry
i don't want you to have depression
i don't want you to feel pain like i have

and i'm scared people will say your not worth it
but you are you are priceless
and i will never stop loving you

I will give you everything
my dying wish is you will be happy

Because you are my child, my baby, my life, a little piece of my soul.

All this time
You were embracing a new lover
While I embraced a bottle and a light
You were filling your heart with love
While I was morning the death of yours
Why would you hurt me like that

that day everyone ignored me
i couldn't see
i pretended i was fine till the night
where i wouldn't put up a fight

so i went down to the ocean
just going through the motion
i took all the pills i could find
it seemed fine in my mind

it was late
and i wanted this to be fate
i was full of hate

so i swam out as far as i could
more then i should
i let go of all my breath
so i could seek my death
i swam down
i was in a well known Florida town

and i smiled as my vision turned black
and slipped through the crack

but i woke up!
i had only managed to sip from death's cup
and i screamed from anger
and i was alive
it was all for nothing, that dive
i didn't want this life anymore
i was curled up on the beach floor
wanting to to slip through life's door

but that day everyone ignored me wouldn't be the last

you came towards me
and made me feel free
you took me into your strong embrace
and all day i could stay in that place
you looked at me with that smile
and even though it took a while
i opened myself to you
called me your boo
took the blade from my hand
and together we took a stand
so we could both be happy again
i opened myself to the possibility of being hurt again
and so have you
but together we'll be strong no matter what we go through
no more being sad, okay?
we're on top of the world might as well enjoy the view

And he said he's scared that when i move i will find another
but i told him listen there will never be another
he said he'll miss me
but what he doesn't see
i want him to come with me
and we'll never have to be alone
because you warm me to the bone
we've both felt so much pain
sometimes i wonder how i'm still sane
and i don't want someone other then you
because your my one and only boo

You say you see
a small bustling town
a great place to raise a family
somewhere to settle down
to start anew
You ask me don't I just love this place
Doesn't it ease my heart
You tell me that this place must be better from where I came
Better than a city
where mothers sell and steal anything they can
just so they can feel alive again
for maybe just one more hour
A small Sweet town like this
Must be better than a city
where fathers have no boundaries on what they take
from their children
Because In a city you get beat by the ones you love
I must love living in a safe town like this
where I'm safe from probing hands and peering eyes


But may I tell you this.
This town is no different
The children, they still find every flaw
and they will push you till you fly
It's no different! Little girls,
They still have to hide behind locked doors
So the older brother stops this beating.
In this town, Men will still be shot in the bar parking lot
The lost ones will still be weeping,
as they sink deeper into their addiction

This small busy town is no breath of air
You still get sent to a hospital when you show signs of breaking
that or one day you don't wake up.
Maybe you don't see it the way I can
But this town that adopted me,
It's no different from the city I was born.