Allyssa

Allyssa Jun 2017

There was a time when hello meant hello
and
Goodbye meant goodbye.
There were no acronyms,
No abbreviations,
No such thing as hints.
Now, I can't tell if goodbye means "Goodbye" or "See you later,"
and
I can't tell if hello means hello or "Hey, this is temporary."
There was a time when greetings were greetings and not gang signs,
There was a time when the word love was not so overused and at the same time it is not used enough.
At the end of the day everything is blank and you do not know if the last thing you said was important or irrelevant
Because
Today, you do not know if hello means hello
and
Goodbye means goodbye.

I'm confused.

#goodbye #hello #today #love #used #trust #safe #day #everything #signs

Jun 2017

ashley

4:14 am

at 4:14 am
im still wide awake
imagining your body on top of mine
captivating me,
your large hands running down my fragile, tiny body,
claiming everything you brush as "yours".
at 4:20 am im still awake,
imagining myself on all fours,
your hand grasping my hair,
pulling it into that tight ponytail i wear during the day,
while you're telling me about how you could never resist me,baby. your words alone leaving me drenched and ready for you.
it's 4:30 am, and texting you:
"are you awake?"

#*** #****** #**** #romance #love #sensual #*****

Allyssa Jun 2017

Another Chance

These flames licked up the best of me,
Turmoil excluded me from happiness,
Heat melted my candle wax of a heart.
I say candle wax because steel can be penetrated and stitches rot.
Candle wax was never supposed to burn without the wick but here we are.
Here I am.
Burning.
That campfire of an unworldly place made me scared to proceed in life as well as to love.
Should I be afraid?
I don't know.
Can I trust this world and what it has to offer?
I don't know what it hides.
I'm trusting you,
I'm trusting your world,
I'm trusting in your faith.
Love me unconditionally please,
Building my heart once again out of the soft candle wax to hopefully have your hands mend it into something more primitive,
Raw.
I trust you.

Maybe trying again might be okay.

#again #love #candle #wax #turmoil #happiness #stitches #burn #afraid #fear

Allyssa Jun 2017

First Encounter

Hello!
I am really energetic and I am caring and funny, I love to socialize with everybody. Yes I talk a lot only because I am excited to meet you and my energy is a bit much but you'll get used to it!

Hello.
Yes I am, still smiling and I feel great! Yeah haha only a scratch, how was your day? No don't worry about mine, I'm glad you had a great day. Talk to me more, I'm happy you're talking to me.

Hey.
Everything's fine. No I'm just tired, yes I'm fine. Haha, yeah, I just have a little headache, no need to worry about me. I'm sorry. No I just felt like saying sorry. Enough about me, how are you? Things going good? Please talk to me.

Hi.
We haven't spoken much, are you okay? No, I'm... yeah, I'm fine. Everything's going good. I wish we were closer. No I don't want something more, I just.. haha yeah I'm just kidding. We're okay. You have to go? Oh, I'll talk to you whenever, then. I'll be here if you need me.

Yeah.
I'm here, what do you need? Oh.. well if you must, it's okay. Yeah I'm fine with that, I'm fine. I'm okay, I just want to keep you happy, keep you here. No, I know you're not going anywhere, how silly of me to think of you to go. Oh? You do? Well, thanks, for letting me make you happy, anything I can do to help you.

...please talk to me.

Why won't you talk to me?

Did I do something to you?

I let you use me for your own happiness. Were you just in it to get what you wanted? Please, you told me you enjoyed my company, come back.

Yeah... haven't talked to you in a while. What's up? Oh? Yeah, I'm here if you need to satisfy yourself again. No it's fine, as long as I just get to spend some time with you.

...

Thanks for leaving me. I'm happy you got to use me for as long as you did, I really like you, you know. If using me meant that you could hang around even just for a second longer, please.
I'm in love with you
but
You're in love with them.

Thanks for smiling at me.

#smile #encounters #meeting #broken #first #person #love #strangers #thanks

Allyssa Jun 2017

Mountains

I don't like the feel of the moisture that hangs in the air,
The heaviness of humidity like a film coating my skin.
long and winding roads between trees soon to be cut by the hands of man,
Rivers to be violated by curious fishers and children.
It fills me with tranquility yet anxiousness to know somethting so beautiful will be destroyed.
These looming trees,
The aging moss,
The rolling hills occupied by the tall grass rolling with the wind like on-shore waves.
I can breathe but I can't,
An unveiling curtain covering my eyes as I yearn for some sanctity amongst these trees.

I feel a little lost in these mountains.

#camping #traveling #trees #mountains #roads #animals #rivers

Allyssa Jun 2017

Highway Lights

I wonder if truck drivers ever get tired of the open road,
Where cars speed past in angst of their destination,
Red and white lights filling the darkness.
Endless dedication to wearing down the pavement that sticks to the Earth like a bandaid.
I wonder if Earth gets tired of us littering,
Destroying,
Peppering it's surface with blemishes to be reconciled with.
I wonder when humanity is to be torn down,
Another plague roaming the planet ready to be wiped out soon enough.
We don't compare to the locusts,
The frogs,
The volcano ready to wipe us out.
40,000 years overdue,
The ash ready to cover the sky and pollute our lungs until we suffocate.
I wonder what will happen to the highway then,
Maybe reclaimed by the grass that once existed here.
I hope the car lights stop shining,
I hope the truck drivers reach their destination to finally rest from the constant stop-and-go.

Just highway thoughts.

#highway #thoughts #lights #nature #volcanoes #stars #earth #cars #red #white