i feel like a fool
like a tool
thats not so
sharp

i feel like a ***
really dumb
you'll know from
the start

i feel like a headache
a bad mistake
people wish
to erase

i don't feel like myself
i don't think my health is well
that's how i'm feeling
today

they say that love finds a way
but mine hasn't
it's in the complete opposite direction
is my love not included?
is my love the wrong kind?
i try and i try
is that where i went wrong?
so many questions and not enough answers

what does it actually mean?
"love finds a way"
a way where?
a way to what?
how does love find anything?
is that where I'm wrong again?
i have so many questions

how will my love find it's way?
to someone else?
to someone better?
to someone who has love that will find me?
what if that love never finds what it is looking for?
then what?
you find love in yourself?
is that where i'm wrong?
i have no answers

when this love that is somehow a noun,
finds this way of love
what then?
you live happily ever after?
everything goes right from then on?
am i wrong?
i have so many questions and no answers

5 year old me
thought it was
sharing things with people
crying with them

12 year old me
thought it was
holding hands
the term "boyfriend"

15 year old me
thought it was
kissing
touching

18 year old me
now understands
love comes in many different forms
sometimes in words
sometimes in expressions
sometimes in staying
and sometimes in leaving.

You said,
"Pain is only temporary."
But so were you.

For anything that's worth having;
One must pay the price.

I loved the thought of you, and us.
Not anymore.

A heart like yours
    made of pure gold
I'm captivated by yours
    heart, mind, and soul

Eyes more bright than diamonds
         through them
             the dreams, memories
                  a lingering silence
A single glance, that catches the horizon
          No words to explain
               like the moon rising
                   despite the sunset's defiance
                        a masterpiece
I jump, I melt, I burst // I felt
I shout
              and dive headfirst

What's North to South?
What's you to me?
    Treasure, closely kept, to mine.