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natalee May 2020
one day you will see how much you mean to me
all my tears will disappear from the seam
i’m sorry bubs that i couldn’t make you see
that i’m not the one trying to deceive
once you find yourself please feel free
to come back to me and i’ll love all your inbetweens
and that will be another start of you and me
natalee May 2019
the drop of my stomach
the ache in my heart
unexpected words leave me feeling worlds apart
i ask myself questions i can’t bare to know the answer
i ponder my worth comparing our genders
i ******* hate rhyming because it sounds too simple
when i’m trying to express the dark thoughts of my mental
natalee Apr 2019
bruised by being used
to me it’s nothing new
you’re all i had to lose
now i’m left without a clue
natalee Apr 2019
the black ink smeared by tear drops on my paper reminds me of the sky the day your parents told me i was the reason they cried in the shower at night
natalee Apr 2019
you’ve caught my eye
and have my ear
i’m willing to listen
whenever you’re near
i hope we have a chance
for our lips to meet
you make my cheeks red
and heart skip a beat
natalee Apr 2019
i failed my exam
and cried all day

i don’t know who



     i called out her name

she took my hand
said we both felt the same

i love you with all i am
  Mar 2019 natalee
Tom Leveille
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
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