Sigh!

What the heck am I doing with my life?
If I was caught in between a war,

I’m balancing on what’s wrong, and what’s right…

Sigh!

Heavy is my head, with a weighing heart, and
the deepest thoughts.

The stench of failure, I can’t wash off with little successes…

Not to mention;

The pressure I put on myself. “You should be doing something,” when
I’ve done everything. “Why aren’t you like other people your age,” when
I never once fitted in with my pride…

Sigh!

The life of a last born child. Who pretty much was spoiled by the
spoils of being too spoiled.

Am I annoyed…Yes!

Disappointed…Always!

Angry…In the most creative ways!

And ready to throw in the towel…No! I’ve barely broken a sweat.

Am I sad…Yes!

Fearful…losing the directions of steps ahead!

And ready to throw in the towel…No! I’ve barely broken a sweat.

I can’t give up;
I can’t give up yet!

I would try to catch lightening in a jar;

For loved ones to call my bravery striking,
a mighty voice roaring like the falling thunder,
a cooling tongue of caring words drizzling,
and a passion strong as the hurricanes.

But a moment's wish only
comes once,
for lightening never strikes
the same
place twice.

But I still have my glass jar open.

those late texts
till my phone dies,
laughing by the corner
as i try not to,
  make a sound.
and spending late calls
on limited wi-fi.

At the tip of your tongue,
o' love, so much I can taste-
      the taste of your love.

My dry lips that call,
  those licks of words.
You come to my mouth,
as it's theme song!

For as you are my darling companion,
    shall I find myself in you,
    as I rest under his strong embrace.
My lover of his brightest eyes,
are like sun kisses to my face.

As gentle as the gazelles,
and all their delicate deer,
   my love for you shall arise.
I will embrace the touch of
     both our wettest skins.

Stuck close to the grips
     of your sweetened lips.
Close to feel the gnashing of
        perfect teeth.

Come away from me-
     my mightiest lover.
Your touch for me is much.
     You are the glee to my heart,
held down by your love-
  on this scented bed spread.
By suchlike a touch so rough.

Your beautiful eyes of their worship,
as with a strong voice of prayer.
I shall plant within you,
  of what more words show.
And shall we together,
be of one flesh, and
       bone of bone.
To our spirits to connect
              of their souls.

I held you like:
a new born child,

Wondering how I could keep
the fires of life in the light of your eyes.

For even if I had to hold
you as my wife,
Life does change drastically a single
heart into marriage' life.

After the church bells,
the clapping applauds,
as tears see you walk down that isle,
I see the pretty flower. Praying
I know how well to take care of a rose.

Yes love does grow,

But only of what you make
it grow into.
Everything grows, the hate, love,
guilt, and fears.
And in the coming years,
you'll start to see what you grew.

Yes love is time,

But how much of it are
you spending it on a pretty lie?
When she asks you, "what's wrong,"
and your pride won't let you cry.
When you shy away the obvious mistakes,
and she still sees you for you,
But you still want to hide.

Yes love is commitment,

But you could commit to something
you didn't sign up for.
Argue with each other on the
first night. *** becomes a rival,
because you try to sound right; quoting
scriptures from the Bible.

Yes love is truth,

But not all we admit,
eases all that hurt.
I thought as much, I would be
safe if I admitted it first.
Asking me if that wedding dress
still fits, and my response made
you question your worth.

Love is just that.
Something we don't fully understand.
We could hold onto past grudges;
more than we hold hands.

But I would love you past that,
for if we never move past the
heaviest of all tears,
We'd never make it to dryer land.

So if you're scared to love,
darling I can only understand.
But we could both brave this
love together. Just firstly take this hand.

We'll hold on together.

In every kiss,
I forget why I'm sad,
the memory of hurt fades,
by unspoken words on lips.
   Ignorance is truly bliss.

I shouldn't show how heavy I cry,
biting my lip, to swallow spit.
The fourth shouting,
accidentally changing into fifth,
at the time my father was teaching
me how to drive.

So like a dog on a street,
with puppy eyes for those misfortunate.
A young man close to my age,
begging me for the little of my wage.
I guess I'm an open hand to all the
people I feed. But I closed my fist on
this memory of a brother calling me a b...

When I was told I don't know how
to really hustle, Wasting my
time on writing; a couple puns just to
make myself chuckle.

A lot of those I love, much
love to diss, to a point of all my faults.
I put it all together saying,
       "I'm so sorry to disappoint"
At my age I should have moved out of
my parents house.

As I have/had this dream,
that only a few see and believe;
I've been working on it with every hustle
and every kind of scheme,
to impress you, and give you a grin,
As I can't smell your best intentions,
through the hustling giving me a nose bleed.

Everything feels so grim,
but even in graveyard shifts,
I try to reap what I sow.
But not everything you put out has
something for it to show. Not every
wish you bury has a chance to grow.

Twenty-two years,
wondering what I can show to peers.
I know they'll cheer my successes,
but never acknowledge the tears.

So I'll just pen down my tears,
of all twenty-two years.

the wettest grass-
are the tears we shed.

So when our eyes are: dry and
so empty,
we know all our grass is dead!

on the greener side...Do you know
how to even get there?

Searching a heart' veld, what
shall you find?

(all has been destroyed
by a tragedy' fire)

No orange rhyme

Just a word rhyme,
a range you read with your eye.

No orange rhyme

Just a few slices with morning porridge,
I prayed before to keep homage.

No orange rhyme

Just me nearly close to courage,
a couple more words to speak knowledge.
The know is hanging off the ledge,
where dreams fell into being dead.

In over my head,
so over in my head, to be
back again at knowledge.

No orange rhyme

In amongst any line,
hard to find an orange line,
That's so sublime inside this
orange rhyme.

There's no orange rhyme

But just an orange blossom,
inside Orange County,
If you need a few, I brought some.
Sing how, and I'll follow with howdy.

We'll have some orange juice,
while we both wear orange shoes.
Groove on in an orange grove,
just like the cultivation of an
orange group.

**** on some orange's mint,
amongst the oranges picked.

And talk about no orange rhyme

Love for breakfast,
filling a cereal bowl of-
      confessions

Milk of her tears,
sugar piles of his affairs.
Biting into the Apple of:
  someone else's love

"Do you love me now,
and her later,"

She begged the question,
after she found texts of-
    a lover's liaison.

I imagine the witty hooks
of young ones in love.

He tells her, "aren't you a strawberry
looking like a cherry on top!"

"We're in this jam together,
light of my eye my Sunjam."

And how with a loaf of words,
he'd end with,

"I'll let nothing get in between us;
but be between two slices of bread."

                                              Turning cheeks red and sweet.

I am a riddle;
  (only a few understand)

An unspoken poem;
      (few will find)

As shall by the gates,
do wisdom and I meet.

A riddle of purpose, &
the answer we all seek.

I'll swallow my pride,
and choke on my heart,
Be losing my mind,
in all of it's lovely thoughts.

I'll do it all, because I'm in love.

The weight of the world,
keeps me down to earth.
And a painting of a girl,
is such a portrait of it's worth.

I'll do it all, because I'm in love.

Every moment is easily gone.
When so many things,
can go so wrong.

I'm writing to you,
with the words that I lost,
I'm speaking to you,
while biting on my tongue,
I'm thinking of you,
with so many thoughts.

Asking myself,

"what could even go wrong"

Burden myself carrying a weight,
cross my mind nailing a thought.
I'm not thinking so straight,
too busy getting myself caught.

I'll did it all, because I'm in love.

So sick of the sin,
the guilt and my shame.
Still stuck in that dream,
where I echoed your name.

I'll did it all, because I'm in love.

Every moment is easily gone.
When so many things,
can go so wrong.

I'm writing to you,
with the words that I lost,
I'm speaking to you,
while biting on my tongue,
I'm thinking of you,
with so many thoughts.

Asking myself,

"what could even go wrong"

In deeps of love
   (termless)
We're only drowning;
trying to swim to the end.

The life of a party that never ends,
rest your eyes far off from tomorrow.

Youth seem not keen to live on.

As for my youth, I rest childish antics,
placing them all into their bed.

Blow out the voices to a song.

The brown bottles are so heavy,
mostly to the worries of my eyes.

I've partied my heart too long.

Spending the little pay I had,
to buy my cares of their plenty.

And so ends the nights of fun.

Shall I go on to find myself,
just as a dream finds tomorrow?

As the time of partying is gone.

All of the good fortune did allow.
I've spent out all of my wealth.

                                        Soon the party ends

And by the wayside,
as the river flows,
you throw a stone.

How deep is your love,
and how far shall it spread,
by the ripples of caring words?

Stuck in my mind,
on top of my head,
Even when the love is dead,
it still haunts me that you're gone.

The spray painted kisses,
are tattoos on my skin.
I have your smile by memory,
still tasting you in my dreams.

Praising your body,
as my tongue's favourite song.

Under the shade cool of love,
kissing under a tree,
away from the sun.
All that's left is that purple flower.

It's searching for water,
so thirsty and dry.
Bending it's will to the light,
hoping not to die.

A lonely, pretty, purple flower.

as with love's sweetest eye,
be the desire to be loved,
for the apple of my eye,
shall be one.

the chitter chatter,
of the day,

are conversations of-
sun and rain,

that greeted the ground of,
this splendid rainy day.

Two eyes, 👀 see the world for what is,
two hands✋ to pray on bent knees.
Flesh of flesh, blood of my blood,
all those down to earth, raised from mud.

One mouth, 👄 speaks of my worth,
scent of desire tickles my nose.👃
Flesh of flesh, blood of my blood,
flow of words, will be like a flood.

Two feet, 👣 lead to where I'm meant to be,
one mind  to unlock knowledge is key. 🔑
Flesh of flesh, blood of my blood,
guilt tripping yourself, it's never been judged.

One soul, spirit full of vigour,🔥
one heart ❤ filled to brim of a caregiver.
Flesh of flesh, blood of my blood,
how we were created, knowing we're loved.

We're the images of God.✨

nature o so quiet and subtle,

these mountains are the only-
to hear a sound of falling trees,
all the winds are the last-
to touch skins of leaves.

nature o so quiet and subtle,

these woods of life, all it's
creatures are your children,
seed pods of their fill,
will hit the grounds and spill.

nature o so quiet and subtle,

these many butterfly kisses,
ladybug tickles, foxes all cunning,
prey all running, birds chirping,
as antlers ears alerting.

nature o so quiet and subtle,

you wear a dress to-
cover all your young,
as the mother of all.

memory wise of all the
girls I've kissed (they weren't a lot)
climbing every tree, tripping
and bruising my knees (I loved kicking rocks)

out getting kissed by the
sun's bright rays (it was so hot)
skipping bath time at five
o'clock for a couple games (I wasn't stuck in the house)

bike races down to the
next corner (I always lost)
playing t.v. scenes in real
life outside (I was always the cop)

what a time it was,
a time so long gone.
just changing by the wears
of life.

So I got rid of all my children's socks.

One,
Of the ways you call my name,
Are two,
Of the reasons I always stay.

Especially when three,
Of the times you kiss my cheek,
Has given me four,
Of the reasons to skip on my feet.

I kissed you at five,
Of the times we went out.
I think I have about six,
Of the reasons for my heart to lose count.

So I must be in love to be losing count.

pit, pat...
tip, tap...
tiny steps of children's play.

hearts racing,
the grass is split-
lioness has caught prey.

And,

As is the assumption for more to follow,
To compliment myself with a comma,

And?

Who expects more of me in the larger world?
Perhaps as it's addition to their cause?

And!

I exclaim to those demanding me of more!
Aren't I enough! As enough as the very word!

And...

I'll omit my contribution of...
Why even finish the sentence if all parts of myself aren't...

And:

I then quote: They want more of who we are,
but as just a word demanding more.
                                                         :End quote.


And,
be it more of me,
and that possibility,
I'll go on to find it on my own.

And on the stages of many eyes,
I yield myself not to perform,
Given an unscripted act of life,
It all seems unpredictable of our roles,
For the lyrics of song to your being,
Are only written words,
                             God's mouth formed.

From little handed, we shall seek increase,
Still with the multifold of riches we make,
Our heart's poverty shan't be at peace.

On these eve; child born of ******' womb,
A light of birth, to death and risen from tomb.

Shepherds behold, of the angels of their night,
Wise men behold, of a guiding star' light.

Behold child of glory, resting in babe' bed,
In straws he shall lay, of king' crown on head.

Behold the son of man where he lay,
The Lord Jesus was born today.

God,

I'm going to need a shrink,
living close to the corner where
that shadow lives.
I have a pound of flesh, a pack
of thoughts, and a bag of ****.

Every time I sleep,
I'm taking that leap,
About to take another risk,
whether this time I'll wake up
from that dream.

I'm in a shell,
in a deep sea of thought.
Swimming back to myself,
swimming back to shore.

My eyes are wet,
from that ocean dream.

We live under tears,
of a spirit' paradise,
in the force of darkness,

a cloud above of all fears,
tiny thoughts in history,

the past changed by present,
as it decides the futures to reside.

We are the dreams undreamed,
believers of things unseen,

great beings in our spirit,
only trapped in earthy skins,

Fallen short at our birth,
a black vein of sins,
but we're all redeemed.

We are strangers of this world,
visitors into it' reigns,
footsteps for children that follow,

As we walk in the todays;
for all our young,
to have a better tomorrow.

As we are more than skins,
bones, hearts, and brains;
in spirit, we are more.

As within soul,
there's a vigour of joyous growth,

though we feel less in this world,

In the realms far ahead,
we're all beings of endless more.

As with those favoured by stars,
Proudest titles of boast,
Fortune resting on cunning smoked cigars.
In themselves, nothing is toiled,
Famed eyes in our sights,
Thousand victories never once foiled,
Look at pride, by chest of host,
Frown on they glory of self,
As are the lovers of oneself the most.
                                  Fame is then a beloved,
                                  As only by a removed heart.

Emotions, ashes of a flame's love lit up,
Bones dry, with wettest eyes of desire,
Soils, eroded, vulnerable, and bare,
Bitter taste of sea salts under sands,
Vast nothingness in a wilderness,

Lips have longed a kiss, cracking and shaking,
A child in a womb, love grows till conceived,
Grass tips wait patiently for first raindrops,
Seasons of spring in a summer's winter,
My dearest love, I will fall for you,

Mud cracks played in, unafraid of stains,
We're wrinkled lines, of sin on clothes,
But sinners long for love,
And battle between lust.

'Follow your heart',
it's been split in two

'Follow your dreams,'
life made me an insomniac

'Follow your words,'
my actions aren't the same

'Follow your goals,'
I can't see the target

So I'll just,

'Follows  my lessons,'
not to make the same mistakes

'Follow my God,'
he seems to know the best way.

Love has been,

a peanut butter & jelly
love sandwich;

I went on to spread,

my heart & emotions
one side,
my mind & thoughts
on the other side;

And of course,

I was the one caught
in between it all.

Two fools
argue amongst themselves,

Debating whosoever
is the biggest fool.

A blind man listens
with his silly smile,
thinking to himself:

what a bunch of fools.
I can see the two fools,
listening with my ears.

As a seeing man's eyes
focuses on the trio,

His heart says,
a fool listening in on fools.

And the one above exclaims,
my children can be so foolish.

What do you think of me,
when I cry every time I sing,
When I'm so weak,
looking for strength in me?

How do you see me,
when I can't see myself need,
Looking to be,
someone in the world you can see?

And how do you love me,
when I'm only but a piece,
Going on to seek,
the greatest version of me?

I'm a tragedy,
but also glad to be me.

Interpretation,
is dependent on the
listeners ear to speech.

Ay man, you good?
A man, you good.
Amen, you good.

But if we're not willing,
to listen with a caring ear,
how do we fix this breach?

Leave me, a loan,
Leave me, alone.

Instead,
we stab at hearts,
with words of a spear,
with an annoyance disturbing
the peace.

But I told you yesterday;
and not yes today,
but I sat today,
and not Saturday,

I can choose the day,
and not Tuesday,
and I'm not going on thirsty,
but going on Thursday;

But it's just a day.

And finally,
to one's deep ear,
do you listen well to deep words,
or listeners only after
you've given a speech?

Praying for those,
preying on me,
or do I pray for a sinner,
and for their sin?,

Or prey for a sinner;
for their sin?

Prayer or preyer,
Dedicate or devastate?

Interpretations do depend
in the end

Twiddling thumbs,
my unresting nerves,
and obsession with
concern;

Sigh,
with shoulders high,
I'm so anxious in living,
this unpleasant life.

Sleep in between lips,
only for a kiss,
we both admit and submit,
to ignorance being bliss.

Hands on hips,
holding onto parts I miss,
under Christmas lights,
in New year's eve,
you're my resolution's gift.

A star above my head,
a lonely child's wish,
only a Lord could give,
lying in the courts of love,
a case put to rest by deceit,
when we argue and go to sleep.

To then wake up
and repeat.

In aforetime,

a beautiful day,
in the fall, where do tree leaves,
come alive in their spring,

all children out in the bent to play,
in a world of cunning-handed colours,
our toes well in the sun,
hanging off a tyre swing.

God painted us a dream,

the brush of eaves aloof,
as leaves blow in winds. Even after the rain,
we joyously rush out to play,
inside the assuage cracks of mud,

stained feet and a mother's complaints,
as was their display of love;
hearing them call brood to their bath.

God painted us a dream,

on the open wings,
spread open for us to feel free,
I can't help my remembrance of
such a wonderful day,

without a reason to hold onto money,
being okay in life's once okay.

The picture has now turned grey.

A tear
is but a drop in the ocean.

As pain
is only for a moment.

Nowadays,
people are quick to;
throw hands,
or be under the sun
throwing shade,

                              What a shame

Cotton candy;
of my sweetest dreams,
I taste whenever I fall asleep.

So splendid to be alive;
even in the sour moments,
of this treat of life.

All the shapes and lines;
taught the birds and bees,
the nestling of love,
and nectar of love's
pretty flower.

Life is sweet,
just a bite could tickle
anyone's teeth.

Find your peace;
and a piece of life,
to stick on your lips.


                       This sweet life.

I am everything
under the sun;

For the light
from above;

Shines within me.

Bright is my smile,
glaring to dark moments;

Bright is this child,
born to be a;
                    
                       Sun child.

Do not the ears of Heaven,
hear the heaviness in her voice;
the cries behind her throat;
the passionate tears of her soul;
And the echoes of a prayer's call?

Behind the closed door,
she's dressed with the Word;
shedding away skins of the world;
As she's then found to be bold.

She is,

whispering grieves;
exclaiming praise;
chanting tongues;
and reciting verses.

Baptised in Spirit,
covenant to faith;
blessed of plenty;
And a daughter of Great King.

Mighty is she,
mighty is He in her;
mighty is the strength of a woman's prayer;
And mighty is His strength within her.

Mighty is she,
mighty is He in her;
mighty is the strength of a woman's prayer;
And mighty is His strength within her.

Love songs inside the dark,
of all my misguided
thoughts;
wishing I could kiss you
in the dark,
for the taste of light.