i.

By chance,
I'm really not that good at giving his thanks.

The moment is equal to the words I should say, but sometimes things never really add up,
And in my case no addition to the cause subtracts the total worth.

Please excuse me though I may tend to act up.

By chance, I wouldn't know how best to express myself,
Unless if I was somebody else or playing pretend on myself
I guess until I would only learn how to stop copying somebody else,
I can be my own self.

By chance,
I wouldn't know how to stop myself from falling in love.

And the chances of me not showing it aren't too many,
I do apologise baby,
My apologies are always so plenty.

But you and I will choose to play the game,
flattering ourselves that we were in love.
And yes darling feeding yourself dreams still makes you starve.


But why are we these beings,
falling to love.
Cause human beings can't function to love another if they can't love themselves.


ii.

But it can take the whisper of dark,
falling onto the cold nights,
that you may toss my comfort away from your side.

A slow measure distancing man from God,
in our case man from woman.

The butterfly knot would then be surely untied,
you wouldn't expect less of me,
Cause you'd expect me to tie a new knot of making you bride.

But my only possible fault,
being too afraid to commit
And one's added failure is to not point it out.

Still never distance yourself from these warm truths

Distance may let you grow,
cold and old.

i.

Painted scars,
displaying a beautiful tragedy

A dream taken away,
other's never had one to have
And so in both our eyes,
we could see each person so sad.

Two broken pieces,
trying to fit together
If you could feel your worth,
but failed to see the treasure
Alas
If you could hear your love,
but never taste your kisses.
Alas.

Perhaps you weren't nosey enough,
to scent out more of you.

Still during your time,
you wished for something
But three wishes had given you nothing.

Alas


ii.

Back then I was
going out into the world
finding what's out there.
Soon fell out of place.

I took a trip into the world,
leaving a lot behind.

I left a man with morals,
never thought he felt important
Never had a dream,
always stood woke
Left the joy and laughter of company,
wasn't one to take their jokes.

Found my seat on a train,
heading nowhere
Glanced at my reflection only once,
As once was only enough
so careless of me to say, but I never dreamt of such.

Alas,
these painted scars.

Here goes a toast, a raised glass to the Heavens,
looking down upon us.

Wonder what you see

I could help, send back the picture,
a perfect sketch of this crazy world.
Send it back to you;  for you see it much clearer.

Our world is in a bit of mess,
havoc has made a home in the hearts of man.

Man's hearts have made homes in the idols they build, hoping to be an escape.
I'm guessing that's the plan, but it's a pointless thought I must confess.

Depression seems to be on a all time high,
yet cheap enough for everyone to buy.
But wait that's such a lie,
everything bad in this world is actually for free.
The good you work for, and working hard you'd have to do.

But I guess you knew

Here's something more appealing,
cut your right off that does the ***** dealing
And you'd have left the hand of stealing.

Here's something more relatable,
we're not really living in the time of he or she being marriage able,
Rather of;  "Hey I wonder if their sexually capable"

Still with me I hope,
cause if I don't have you to look at in these troubling times,
I'll fail to cope, laughing in my short breathes but it's nothing of a joke

Here's something more questionable,
trends of the new are just reruns of the old.
But someone kept bugging me that I stick way too much to the old, and that I'm not so relatable.

Must of been the way he read into my pen,
how it's words had something a little too unsettling to his natural discomfort.
Maybe because I gave him one word of friendly advice, and he only heard harsh criticism of probably ten.

Sorry brother, I won't stop you from doing the obvious wrong again.

Here's something I tend to notice,
took for me a while to get it. My advice, look at it with a little more focus.

Someone once told me I was useless,
how it echoed sadness in my heart.  Still it really wasn't what she said.
Rather it was saddening how easily I accepted it like that was my purpose,

Like I was only worthless.

Have I struck a nerve,
I know I may be complaining a lot, but I'm just seeing a lot we don't deserve.

We don't deserve the pure LOVE you open handly give,
Feels worse when I'm in my guilt and shame, as my pride makes it closed on my hand to receive.

I honestly don't deserve much of all the things you give me. Yet you won't stop.
And the sun of my heart sets sometimes into the  dark,
You're still the endless light watching me from up top.

Please never stop!

Cause in a crazy world, your sanity feels out of place amongst the insanity,
like being the black sheep of your entire family.

Still it's the little sanity keeping my eyes up to the Heavens.
The world is in a moment of chaos, but only as a moment.
So if the miracle you have for us appears in or after the chaos we'll  be the ones to show it.

Here's a glass raised, a toast to the Heavens,
looking down on us.

I do wonder what you see.

This really isn't a public speech, but really just a personal prayer to you Lord from me.


Cheers!

The very words have slit the back of my throat,
a crude experience tasting on the blood of a wounded tongue.
The very taste of evil slipping off of it.

The lines are chaos trails leading to a destruction,
Lurking, slowly preying like the untamed beast of unfiltered words.

Soon it attacks tearing at flesh to reach the heart.

Falling into submission, it holds back by the voice holding it down.

Don't you dare speak another negative word I tell myself,
pulling back the very thing and letting healing take place on the wounded tongue

Kid sees ghosts in an empty fall of a garden,
Spring came around, but this heart can't be sprung by anyone.

Black trees all over my head, pretty much shady,
a little too crazy. Dodging the ships of relationships so I won't be good in the navy.
In a night garden where I grew black roses.

Being I am not the one,
not so bright today but I'm a lonely son.

Guess my time is done, guessing life was a little too fun.
Did a lot of deeds but they felt like none, so if you got some good deeds can I borrow some.

While in the night garden, that I planted myself,
wouldn't want to be there,
but I had to due to my health of thinking for
myself.

For Black roses,
make me seem so soulless,
And people shouldn't follow me cause I'm not the best Moses.
Blue tulips kinda remind me of sad kisses,
violets are a passion I have to towards my broken pieces.

And ghosts in my garden come out at night,
don't give me fright,
Cause once daylight comes they'll be running out of sight.

Night-time is me, only time really free.
I go into that state with a face of glee.
Daylight covers up my face, masking all my pain,
fire is my veins, and smoke clouds my brain.
But I don't know the difference cause it always feels the same.

Water in my garden only drowns my heart,
swimming in regret.
Sorrow is a rock at it's bottom holding me down, pretty much it's role and part,
And peace of mind to it is a threat.

But what could you expect less from a violent violet.

Cause my night garden is only a place for me, just to keep me sane,
whereabouts shouldn't be known.
For sharing with people would make it harder to maintain, I don't need the strain.
There's a lot of demons inside my brain,
trying to mask my pain.

But I wore out the face, buried inside my garden,
a place with no food for thought, so this mind is starving.
Hungry for love, and my composure,
something real to hold that pulls me closer.

Cause I hate myself for having a boo when it's only one of the ghosts in my garden's making,
cause such a theme is rather concerning.

But that theme was just a dream,
surely I need to wake.
But I fail to cause the heart sees reality as being  fake,
So let me stay awhile in my night garden's little space.

But I play two sides, hiding the darker part cause I'm scared what you'll find.

Still in the light I know a bit of dark,
darker sides of me festering in my heart.
I would explain what it is, but I myself am trying to figure this darkness out.

See I learned monsters too need to eat,
my darker colours make me a beast out to feast.
Cause I feed sometimes on lightness till I'm all but darkness,
A cynic type of picture cause really I'm a cynic  type of artist.

And mixing the two colours completes the full picture, but I show one side in the light day.

Cause if I'm going to die tomorrow, let me live tonight,
If it's a cost for me let me spend this life.
But if the darker colours tend to peep through when I lose control,
you'd be wise not to tame such a thing if you value your soul.

My lightness would give me reason to cry, as the dark holds a lot in.
The dark enjoys nightmares, as the light is only a dream.

But oh well, I guess that's what you get for being kaleidoscope,
playing two sides is frankly draining and no joke.
For I know people fall attracted to the lightness,
but the dark gives a reason to run away,
But you feel a bit of commonality to my darkness,
cause our situation is kinda the same.

Kaleidoscope, dark and light,
brave or fright.
Good or bad, a changing perspective,
I lack a strong fibre in will, and the will for repentance.

But I don't regret this, I just expect this.

Feels like the first time, we ever really kissed,
shooting my shot, and I knew I wouldn't miss.

Cause I, need to take a moment, while I find my composure,
cause I write my feels when I feel the moment.
And no I'm not joking, everyone lies, but I preferred when you lied to me closer.

And though it may seem things are over,
growing out of love by the days I get older.
Still I hope the feeling of love never turns over.

I mess up sometimes, my goes messy,
I'm scarred for anyone to come undress me.
Cause I know what's inside, lot of things I hide underneath my pride,
but I know everybody has days to cry.

O' My,
why do I feel this way.
O'My,
I've been only feeling strange in every way,
O'My.

I **** up a lot of smoke inside my lungs,
and no it's not a joke, I feel kinda dumb,
thought you were one, but love ain't for everyone.
O'My.

But given this time I find myself before I find new love,
and not by the end of my wealth do I fall in love again,
O'My.

Goodbye, have a great time,
see me outside so alive while I'm dying inside.
Still really never find. Given this this time,
I'll find something when I leave this all behind.

O'My.

Changing colours on how I feel,
my heart does it often. Don't even know what's real.
Coming into one feeling so symmetrical,
O' a kaleidoscope.

Remember the very first time, really wasn't by the best time,
lying to myself that I'm just fine,
think about it now that's just a cliché line, cause I'm just lying.

Still not the same when I write this, when it's all past I'll probably wish I never wrote this.
So many of these colours, I'm just going through the motions,
Mirrors in my heart somehow really help me to focus,
See myself clearly and never say that I'm worthless,
Though the Thoughts at the tip of my mind,  low-key  feel pointless.

But I'll need change, as I readjust my mirrors for a clear range,

Not in an empty space.
Cause hiding in my empty closet space isn't a filling place.
But I'll lock that door, really just in case.

In my Kaleidoscope, a pretty design if you really look close,
holding a lot of colours, within each piece of all worth.
Cause really I'm a kaleidoscope

Where three is a crowd, two gossiping have secrets coming out loud.
At the breath of their words, the things they say,
Id asked you to hold your mouth and swallow your tongue as I ask you may.

Perhaps do things differently today.

Where two is love, love isn't for itself, for it's shared,
Where feelings are kept, many things we soon  regret. When we lose a love so rare.
You best hid to such love and take care.

Perhaps speaking to myself, or of the inner voice of my conscience,
a good will of men, a foreign past of what once was.

A lesser past, behind the back of my mind. Thoughts of things, and pieces of dreams.

Where they all lay, I stay,
Where they rest, I sit next,
Where they are to be, is destined for me.

A man, a wake, a wreck, and an empty ship ready for another relationship.

Seems the Heavens forbid my tears a fall to the ground,
Upon the many cold whispers of self awareness and pieces of doubt.
A forbid fortress build inside my head,
great pieces of brick and metal clashing at each other.

Though I wish for peace instead.

What forbids my emotions, toys my heart and clouded judgement,
for I hung in grey skies past due the forecast.
A fallen sun, crashing landing onto a broken planet.

If I had enough dreams to buy it, I would to only later sell it.


Forbidden fortresses, and guarded walls.
Armed guards, and beastly dragons.
All forces against me, and I'll face them all.




On painted pictures, and sketches of dreams,
a broken pencil tip, as a dream has gone blunt.
Turn your heads forward to see ahead, be at your best front.

You old ****,
how dare you turn back to your childish ways.
Your false judgments, and hopes. The old crokes, with the crude jokes.
Stuck in your younger days.

With no care for the world,
selling pieces of it, and all of your soul.
How dare you question how you've lost your glow.

I tore through your secrets,
peeped at your deeds, fell sick at their stench.
And I could bet, beneath your shadowy hearts there's a light of regret.

But with it carries a stench upon your breath,
as your swimming in sin above your depths.


Hide your eyes, for we've seen too much of your pride,
Your demons inside, your misdeeds behind, and the many more things I refuse to find.

I'll send an attack upon your men,
I'll make of you an enemy by then.


Come at me if you will,
Arm your arms, holding closely for we're all out to ****.

Some **** their father's wise words,
others their mother's gentle touch.
Her sisters love, and his brothers guidance.

But still not enough.

Some **** the hand that aids, the hand that holds.
An eye that watches, a mouth that speaks,
a nose that has no sense to perfume.

Truly something stinks.

**** the thanks of many,
the hopes of others.
The sons of leading fathers, daughters of caring mothers.

Tell me, who is your enemy.


For mine is myself,
the holder of things. A killer of dreams.
A spoiler of health.

Health and money, two things I can't have as both.
Better health for more of my money, more money for my health, but losing my worth.

So over my head, seems a lot goes over me for my shortness.
Worthless, I say when I'm comparing myself to others,
why so, the answer uncertain.

But the feeling so unnerving, so much hurting.


I wish I was perfect, rather not this mental defect.
A broken upon vessel, grabbing onto cracks.
My insecurities my greatest weapon upon myself,

I give them many thanks.

For letting me realise of perfection being the silent evil of man wishing to be God,
Stone upon stones piling on the tower to try reach to the title.
Cast your own stones away for thinking you not a sinner of none.

Pray yearly to who gives your wake,
for sleep wishes to keep you her's, for she's a cousin to death.
Let that perfection fall off your heads for Heaven's Sake.


For the Heavens I know are crying as I constantly go back into my ways,
a continuous pattern of sinning I've spread out across my days.

Such tears fall upon my head, drowning me in guilt,
Filth is upon me from the hand of sin I've used to wipe my face.
Filth it is, the Heavens know too.

O' but you, so young and dumb,
Doing the many to yourself of self harm in the pursuit of fun.
Soon your life will be done.

And when you're asked what good you did with a life given onto you, how do you answer?
Lovers may say they'll die for each, but none can vouch one into heaven for each other.

For the Heaven's surely do cry for me, as do I.
But the Heaven's still forbid me to cry.

Lack the better skills in communication,
finding words in this hidden location.

It's beautifully who I am,
a painted picture of the shyness of this empty man.

Who looks forward to a lot of things while looking back,
and the life he left behind seems to find itself upon his map.

Her beauty is a painted picture,
a work of art.

Darling you don't need that much to make it such.
A little make-up just to tickle my fancy, but not too much.

A little attitude in that walk you make.
A little sharpness to that tongue to keep me straight.

Be out of this world,  cause you take the space,
Cause you're a painted star that knows it's place.

Had a girl with the face of the dawn,
my biggest failure was failing to leave her alone.

From her small giggle my heart had cheer,
my words lost, knees weak as sweat broke out as she was near.

A tiny whisper of her voice knocks the walls of the heart,
as the hint of her heavenly scent made angels cry.
The Heavens looked down upon such beauty so pure that no man could deny.

A glance of her many curves made your mind swerve in endless motions,
the thick of her hair was black as night and blew carelessly in the wind's whispers.
You'd fail to gaze upon her and not catch emotions. And you'd pray to all gods that surely existed to make her your Mistress.

But Mistress Beauty was never the easiest of catch.
She'd teased you with a tender hug resting her tender ******* on you, gently making you wish such a feeling could last.

Still even if you played your cards right, your deck would still be empty.
And by the next hand you'd play your last. For she's wise to the game of love and she's won that plenty.

But I was that lucky kid on the block,
a nerd to the eyes of many without much to give. But still trying to give a lot.

Still luck would have me, as I have her.
And often thinking about her by my side left my thoughts with only a blur.
But I was the guy she preferred.

So I had a girl, a Mistress of Beauty.
And though she's long gone to another man's hand, I'm still glad.
For I was first to have her hand, and glad that she knew me.

So to you Mistress Beauty. You were the only one I preferred.

For all the good times, the bad were more.
Yesterday was so amazing but tomorrow brings a sense of worry.
And right now today I'm kind of in a bore,
and sometimes I don't appreciate the little moments so I'm sorry.

For all the good times, the joy is limited.
Everyone knows what I mean for we're all witnesses.
And we all have a thought of when our good days are over. At the end who'll be missing us.

For all the good times, times are feeling low,
other days pretty slow. And the rest we don't really know.
So we'll see how it goes.

And if it goes to right don't be left behind.
If we going down low don't stay too high up in the clouds with a wondering mind.
And if it's out there in the crazy world; find safety inside.

Heck if you could, in the good times you'd act bad if you would.
In the bad you'd tick off the rest with your good mood.

For all the good times we secretly prepare for the bad.
And it's a unsettling fact, but don't be sad.
For the short while in the good times try to be glad.

For all the good times seem not to last that long.

Expect less of me and I'd give you more.
The Heavens ain't high enough, nor Hell's fires too hot.
For both ain't too ready for what's in store.
And both would see me at the top.

And maybe a lot would wish the best for me, but curse with the same mouth,
Swear to you things that their lips can't keep.
And by a peep, people would eye your rewards and want a piece.
Kinda figured it won't really change,
just repeating the old days.
With the old croaks with frog mouth.

But what really happened, to best of deeds.
When the wants were lesser than the needs. While growing large dreams started from tiny seeds.

Guess I'm too much of a slave to the past,
wishing for the old days just to last.
Filled with the better memories and fewer laughs.

But I ain't raising my voice high enough to give the world a speech,
But I am giving it a piece. Putting a lot out onto the table, not afraid of the risk.

So let the far edges of the world hear me high and mighty,
Cause my light words shouldn't be taken highly likely.

And I learned from my Dad that I don't need to slaved to people for them to like me.
So if my speech is a call to arms, come and fight me.

If I could imagine two, I'd imagine twice of loving you.
My feelings were unlocked while I picked at your heart,
And I need you now cause you're such a must.

As you're such a pretty eye. A pretty lady.
But I don't want to see you cry, when you're my Lady.
And I don't want to die. I know it's crazy,
Cause I'd hate to say goodbye. I'm never ready.

But my words are weak at your scent so strong,
my feet are cold, well my eyes are wet.
and without you all, it's but regret.
For my sight is short, still I'll see you long.

But I'd have to ask why love me so?

Dearly how I wake when I sleep, as I sleep through my wake.
My mind slowly falls out of shape,
and then becomes that empty space.

Confidence in check,
well I'm at least to expect,
To give those around a piece of my best.

But how so? I'm a piece of depressed.
Bleeding out my heart, and beating out my chest.

It's been too long, since I've had a word,
a little hint in the letters I pen.
But then again,
I'm completely clucked as like a hen. Hanging with the lions in the depths of a den.

Still confidence in check,
like the pride beating upon my chest.
What did you expect?
I take everything as if what the heck.

Living in the moment,
till I'm out lived by the fewer moments that follow.

So really what the heck?
Rather be the wild card amongst the deck,
black sheep amongst the wool of white,
least then fall into opportunity's sight.

With a little confidence in check,
doing all the little of best.
Then again what did they expect?

Ain't my confidence in check?

Twas Sweet of sweet losing it's touch of love,
a synic course of nature forcing hungry more to starve.

Twas man who fell bringing down the world with him,
and being that it was planned, no other man would have dream.

Twas age who neitherless took the time to wait,
for Death who preyed upon the old and weak to put our lives at stake.

Heed to such words, and what tales the tell.
Ringing to your ears like an old church Bell.

For twas jealousy that man cast a stone to ****,
And his sin had only a price for another death to pay the bill.

Twas to be a son a sacrifice to prove his love,
And the new life was only through his Blood.

Twas a dying Tree that he died upon,
nailed on it till his life was gone.
And had left this world before the rise of Dawn.

But the lion could not be slain,
and by Jesus name, his rise was now that came.

Twas when the Earth had shook,
the Heaven's had cried.
For it was Truth,
the Risen King had no longer died.


Twas when man looked to the sky,
the skies begun to shine.
For the man once had him to deny,
But now was the time.

For the fallen Son had risen.
All sins were forgiven.

For he was risen,
the man of flesh,
For twas it Jesus.
Twas he who was risen.

Worth more than the gold of this rich heart,
can't finish my words, so I'll give you a best start.
Movie scene, you honestly gotta be the best part.

Chump change of my one dime,
pay dues just to spend more time.
Kinda selfish when you're all mine,
red wine of you both being so fine.

Quite strange how it all goes,
your love makes my words all flow,
Taking heed to your tempo just to go slow.
And at your lightly pace, I can't help but to just glow.

Won't swear for a promise is my better deal,
in the many fake faces, tryna see what's real,
Risk it all just to enjoy that one thrill.
And your soft lips are my sworn will.

As the days will change like another book page,
my love still strong, but it does age.
But started best being teenage.

So let's take the time to start in it, and both engage.

From the spirit of awareness,
while playing cold in the growing times of old,
doing right not seeming the farest,
And being so kind is often the rarest.
Breaking the stigma of a point of view,
and perhaps it is true of being the right thing to do.

Cause I may understand a lot, but a lot seems lost,
From paying the cost and gaining the loss,
of being cut off materials of the world of it's one cloth.
And how gracefully we fall right from the top,
when the minds are found but the hearts are so lost.

A stigma we break, till the breaking is broke,
while laughing at the world but you are the joke,
Losing my doubt, but more of my hope,
the actions I do they hardly be spoke.
Oh really, how do I even cope.

The stigma of flesh yearning for silver,
dull eyes dreaming of gold.
And pieces of debt to pay by being your Master's pleaser.
Had it been of my soul being sold, and likewise the world of being so cold.

Wasn't a crime of love, a custom feeling holding two places wasn't enough.
Growing tired and weary, losing hope in you dearly.
Upon a hungry heart going into starve,
as the closest meal isn't as close nearly.

A short verse grows colder than a body in a herse,
a swearing word raises concerns, and upon a curse.
And it's a familiar time I act the worse.

A haunting whisper,  turns my heart anew in a new year,
So saying goodbye to the old feels so weird,
but still wish I never knew you.
And time has past from a white hair in my beard.

So a custom please to myself, and the unhappiness towards my wealth and health.

Penny for a thought, penny for the waves of emotions to buy a new boat.

Down goes another relationship, another relationship going down,
once was a dime, a vessel better known for it's time.
But all aboard the ship, another relationship going down.

Pennys and Ships,
Vessels of giving girls a tip.
Swallowed down through the sea's lips,
lost at sea in pieces of silver ships.

Greeted by your thighs,
lost space inside your eyes, while that feeling comes to rise.

And I know I've told you lies,
so making it up to you sooner is pretty wise, while that feeling comes to rise.

And I want you tonight as my prize, while that feeling comes to rise.
Quite a distance for a ****** drive.

Rising within me, stirring me to no good,
questioning to bite, probably should.
But you'd join the feeling if you were in the mood,
simply because my body language is quite loud and easily understood.

To be how it may,
sweat dripping of the flesh, wetter than the waters across the bay.
It's probably an overcast today.

And this feeling ain't complete,
two foreign bodies coming together to meet.
Two feelings coming into one, and then they'll repeat,
having your thighs to greet,
upon the arrival of your meal within this meat.

While that feeling comes to rise,
not being chased, and none to despise.
Like the feeling of being so close to one, failing to say your goodbyes.

Such of that feeling comes to rise.

Trying to make a boy into a man,
trying to love better than a crazy fan.
Trying to figure out all my ideas to make a plan,
just trying to be a man.

Needing a little space apart from my mind to at least breathe,
trying to pick out all the want in my life to know what I need.
Just giving out all of my love for someone better to receive.

Wishing I had a better place to call my own,
not being with all my friends and feeling so alone.
Searching deep inside myself for depth in my soul,

Trying to keep an eye on my goals and on the ball.
Just trying not to fall.

Cause I've hit the ground hard enough that I feel absolutely nothing.
A ****** nose would remind me that we all feel something.
But if I'm somehow heading in the wrong direction, could you please stop me.

Cause I'm lurking through my shadows, trying to find some light,
But Sun is going down and going out of sight.

But I'm still out here in the night desperately trying,
my mouth is shut, so I could be lying.
Cause liveliness is feeling closely to dying.

But I'm still trying.

Love and feelings could you not forsake me,
deep breaths in my soul make me,
hopelessness I have degrades me,
slow days don't phase me.
But only catch me in awe to amaze me.


For alas I'm probably going crazy.

I want a lot of things, but a lot of things don't want me,
pushing  me away, as I'm pulling back.
From the glamour of the fame, and bit of success. I still want a piece of that.

For alas I'm probably at a place of lack.

And it's kind of an empty fact,
a dark hole I see myself falling into the very trap,
Selling me no good, comforting it with a pat to the back.

Pat pat you go,
for a piece of that sell your soul.

And they'll take your light, steal it's glow,
now you've lost your soul.
On wishing to have everything, but you've lost it all.
And the depths of Hell itself call upon you to pay your debts for your soul.


And like these words of such a write,
from top to bottom following a flow,
that's not what I hope to come from to go.
I want a bit of fame, but won't spare my soul.

Shall we not be two skies apart,
but of one being, and flesh.
Given a piece of myself for a trade of your heart.

Let's not waste into time, nor spare a moment,
but be eachs constant.
A loving inspiration for the words of this odd  poet.

Kindly gentle down your heart upon my hand,
being it little, it holds a lot.
Shall we be covered by love like the oceans  surrounding the land.
Kindly hidden amongst the waves, underneath pieces of sand.

Gently I hold onto you, dared not to lose,
for in a game of love, we'd seek to conquer.
Still, if all I had was little, I'd have something much to prove.

Joy with me as a smile like one of a young man in love,
whose stomach turns with butterflies.
Such feelings never being enough.

Journey with me if dared,
ride the longest mile locked in my arms.  
For true happiness is only a distance away, so shall I take you there?

I have an empty bottle to place my dreams,
but I best fill it quickly before it sinks,
Yet time is not on my side as though it seems.

The world moves fast, that I look twice,
It plays cruel when you're acting nice.

And you'd have to give Love, and then repeat,
Cause if you can't do that then you won't receive.
And I know it's odd, but True indeed.
Cause this love we have is all we need.

And as they say faith can move a mountain, I don't really have much to prove,
They say I don't fit, but can't even fit in my shoe.
I know it's odd but kinda true.

And there's no real distraction from what is happening,
And I'm a young man just acting so old fashioned .

And these lessons too kinda feel the same way,
Just used for a different day.

But this empty bottle would tell me otherwise,
And you'd know me keeping it as a prize.

Though the world would hate us,
sadly we can't hate equally.
So we'll be the unbalance.

So a cheers to what I'll pour out of this empty glass of mine,
And to the future, and perhaps this drink, both to last me through time.

Crack upon my heart,
the feelings inside that box,
Like wearing out the old memories of my baby socks.

Oops I may have forgotten a few,
so surely what would I do,
Still I find a piece of them while I stare in the eyes of you.
Lest they tell me what only is true,
of these growing feelings I have for you.

And my baby socks still have that stain,
of the dirt I stole from the Earth while I played a game,
As I was so young from the days of feeling no shame,
I lived a life with a different name.

But all things had to change once that feeling came,
can't act like a baby anymore when you have a baby that is your dame.
And once they've become your feelings constant, your baby socks have run out of their fame.

So crack upon that box,
if you wishing to see what's in my heart,
And you may find that hiding memory worn out in my baby socks.

I don't, I don't, know how to die,
Baby, baby, don't you cry,
I know that your heart says goodbye.
But I don't know how to die.

You try to wake in your sleep,
with your many nightmares of deep.
You take my heart, you take it's beat,
you take it all, and you repeat.

You try to run inside your feet,
you try to take me of my sweet.
You take it all, it's everything,
you take it all, and you repeat.

But I don't, I don't, know how to die,
Baby, baby, don't you cry,
I know that your heart says goodbye.
But I don't know how to die.


You try to wake inside your deep,
you tried to run inside your sleep.
You take my love, you take what I feel,
you take it all, and you repeat.

But baby girl I have a treat,
it's not my soul, but you can feast.
Just don't take it all, you not repeat.
Don't steal my smile while you walk down the street.

Cause I don't, I don't, know how to die,
Baby, baby, don't you cry,
I know that your heart says goodbye.
But I don't know how to die.

Just leave me be, and pass me by,
find yourself another guy.
Cause I grew tired of your ***** eye.
So baby won't you let me cry,
cause I don't want to try to die.

Cause you take it all, and you repeat,
you take it all, and you repeat.
Cause you took my heart, and it's a stolen beat

Baby it's a stolen beat.

I have a feeling, a beautiful pain caught inside my heart,
And never have I found the right way to let it out.
It stays it's course, riding around the many emotions I hide in my heart.

It's a beautiful pain.
Hurts to give away,
hurts to share, nor to borrow.
Leads to unfamiliar places, and begs me to follow.

It festers in my soul, grows beautifully like a red rose.
But it's a black rose, a flower that has a sting.
With sharp thorns to ***** through me, and it's my Beautiful Pain.

And I'm unashamed by it's nature, or it's true name.
A wild plant in the forest of danger, a wild plant that only I can tame.

So I have a Beautiful Pain, so much beauty it hurts me dearly.
And clearly you wouldn't know what it is, for it ain't yours to own or know.

It's my Beautiful Pain all alone, and all on my own.

I don't like it when you leave stains on my neck,
baby I'd have to confess to how much I really hate the mess.
So excuse me for not letting you get near my chest.

And baby I can't lie how good you look in my vest,
How you found a comfy spot on my bed, using it as your nest.
But the trial of my mind is how you've made yourself home, yet you came in here as just a guest.

You told me your name was Patience, but truly speaking it's not in your nature,
And you make me wish we never met sometimes. Could you not be a stranger.
For you look to me to be your savior,
but I can't answer that prayer.
You just happen to be the girl they call a slayer.
And why I let you stay is beyond me,
indeed you knew how to lie to my very heart, filling it's hopes with your fake glee.
I'd run away from you, but my emotions towards you I can't flee.

So I'll just watch from my bed while you put on your lipstick smile.
Watch you dress yourself in the mirror,
let my heart play out your hero.
And while I wait for you to come back, I'll remember your scent that's left on my pillow.

The ring on my finger may say we're ment to be,
But you don't let me be so free.
So I'd ask you the question, why did you even marry me.

Lock your promises,
Swear to me you would, keep to your word if you could.

Lock your promises,
Build a bridge of trust to connect us both, show me you took my feelings with the sense of worth.
Swear to me you would, than to rather force me no good.

Lock your promises,
Hide away the Key, keep the secrets I tell you safe for me.
And surely of you I'd plea, and if you had the heart to keep my secrets, you'd fill my heart with glee.

If you'd lock your promises inside a chest, hidden away from all the rest.
Buried deep down in a foreign land beyond the West, I'd think it the best.

Just pinky swear if you could, lock your promises if you would,
To do justice to my already broken heart some good.
I'd think it best you should.

Now is the time my mind tends to think of danger,
When all my hopes and dreams just happen to be strangers.
And all my words have gone to empty prayers.


Along with the fighting of idle voices inside my head,
these many demons that wish me dead.
That creep inside my dreams beside my bed,
that take my sweet dreams and give me nightmares instead.


Now is the time my mind fears danger,
when minor hurts seem to hurt me major.
That slit my throat with a black rusty razor.

And along came these voices trying to steal my smile,
And ten thousand miles my mind walked along the length of the River Nile,
and told my concerning heart of it's denial.


Oh, but I'll close my ears,
to escape my fears, as I wipe my tears.
Oh, but I will stand, though my courage is not so grand.
And upon my hand I'll hold onto the light, though my palm seems bland.

Oh, these idle voices will fear danger,
I'll make them strangers.
Oh, they'll know my name, feel the pain of my shame.
For my heart seems wild, but it can't be tamed.
And at the end of this battle, I'll be saved.


Cause now is the time my heart will rest,
when I take to bed, though I seem depressed.
I'll hide my pride, dig down that chest.
Cause I don't want these idle voices, to steal my rest.

Wish I had the knowledge to think straight inside a crooked world,
Or at least on the piece of wisdom that only exists. I kindly prefer.

Dear Sir, if you have the ears to listen, or are  you just ignoring my voice,
But if screaming to the Heavens would get your attention, I'm leaving you no choice.
Cause I'm left out onto the ground like pieces of black rose, and these feelings seem not to matter, but they'll gladly impose.

I kindly prefer for you to have the time to give me back some of mine,
Pay a little of my due on pieces of a silver dime, and stretch out the path I'm walking on from this thin line.

Dear Sir  you've seemingly took much of your time, leaving a lot of responsibilities behind,
And your not the type to hide, but don't act keen on it if it's only on your pride.
For you may think of me lesser for thinking you're no longer by my side.

And don't call me by my faith, a lot of it has gone to waste.
Instinctively hiding my pain behind a smile on my face.


So kindly good Sir would you take the time to move off your throne,
Lend the hand to aid upon my palm, and being a King with your crown, would you'd do what should be done seemingly calm.


So here's a reminder to you, thinking I should bring my affairs to your alarm.

Force me to bed, but I don't want to fall asleep tonight.
Soaked my pillow in tears from a couple days ago.
Living through the high points of my life, but only on the low.

But I don't want to close my eyes for a second more while that empty darkness gives me a fright.
I don't want my mind to run away from the nightmares in my head, neither helping me to rest.

I'm wearing rubber clothes tonight in linen sheets. Forgive me for being a little depressed.

Forced into this worthlessness, but I would not stay there on a rich heart.
Drowing in blood, how my high blood pressure is going to prey on me tonight.

I'll pray for something warm for me to wear, but so sorry I only have these rubber clothes. Carrying the dirt of black mud.

I got a few rubber clothes, a few pieces of plastic to sew into my smile.
A few pieces of man that they wishing to take back.
A few pieces of doubt, and pieces of flesh to feed my bones along in the mile.

A rubby heart, plastic choking me from inside.
I'm wearing these rubber clothes cause I don't have anything much to hide.

Heart feels recklessly uneven, taking more than it should. Why wouldn't you give.

Sadistic laughs in front of the mirror, finding humour in the scars of the past.
For I force them not to hold me back, their better place in the past. But the deeper pains of the journey through life seems destined to last.

So I count on the age, time slowly passing through me of the very chapters of life through every single page.
And I can't miss my role in this story, so I'll be forced to engage.

Count on the age, but not counting long enough on time in itself,
For secretly the single seconds steal my wealth, or have I confused it for health.

Perhaps maybe, but maybe won't answer the question,
But it seems to lead to justifiable depression. The type for a while, for only a session.

But all from a recklessly uneven Heart.

Get a piece of it all, how I'd sweat to have it all.
But only of taste, that my lips slowly run dry. Biting through the small pieces of flesh till I reach the bottom.

And I've run dry in my ways, the same ways that get me in so much trouble.
And in these ways I've learnt to be a little more humble.

But it's not the easiest of things when you build your dreams on foundations that will soon tumble.

But I've seem to have missed the bottom, floating still in the air.
So why doesn't someone rescue me there, Lord almighty don't curse me out while I'm likely to swear.

Get a piece of it all, everything I have doesn't feel enough.
For I can easily think of only nothing in this life.
So to say human nature is typically so tough.

At the scope of my own mind moving forward in life leaving the many things behind.
Strange to say, the man a few moments ago isn't the same today.

But then again, who is he if he no longer acts the same,
For in an average world we're all seeming plain. Dripping wet from the many tears of life, being like the rain.

Still I haven't rode through enough oceans of the many tears, for I fear being caught in all the commotion.
And only when I make it to a foreign land I'd have died of exhaustion.
From the idea of being in so many pictures but forgetting what it is to be posing.

So only then do I choose to learn, when the heart slowing burns out as the flesh rises to burn.
And I'll be fighting long days with the flesh, praying for blindness to rescue my eyes when they prey to looking underneath a dress.

So whoever chooses to meet by the scope, shall I save them a place.
But don't let me find you there at your fall of grace. Lest you fill me with worry.
And if that's how we only meet, truly I say I'm quite sorry.

Vultures fill my skies, preying on me.
Don't pray patience, already have enough of that.
Behind the disguise of the vultures in my skies, I'm only seeing black.

Preying birds while I don't pray much for mercy.
Having the weight of the world on my shoulders. Don't wait along for me.

For right now I face against myself and the many demons trying to hurt me.

And we both take to this heart of mine as work of art,
No wonder why we both prey for it's prize.
But to us both we're on fallen grounds, both hoping to rise.

Preying thoughts while praying on Love to rescue me.
Vultures in the air tonight. Wasn't it already dark enough.

But I hope no man to follow in these footsteps, better yet don't follow me.
Not looking for the pain inside of me to be the honesty of my mind, just looking out for Love.

So don't prey on me.

We rise, we fall
We fight for many just to lose it all.
I hold my gun for it's the only thing closest to me.
Seen so much blood that it's so hard to dream.
I'm going down, I caught a grenade.

We march, we follow
We fight these wars on courage we borrow.
I chew on bullets just to keep my strength.
My nose has gone dull from the smell of stench.
I'm going down, I caught a grenade.

We shoot, we ****,
They told us all winning the war would be thrill.
My eyes are shut upon darkness,
My soul dark and cold that it can't bloom flowers.
I'm going down, I caught a grenade.

We ducked for cover,
But the enemies found us and shot my brother.
We tried to fight back, but it was all for waste,
The grenade they threw blew half my face.
I'm going down, I caught a grenade.

We won the war,
But the victory cut through me like a saw.
Was once a man,
But only now the half of him.
I was going down, I caught a grenade.

Going down, I caught a grenade.

If I could go back in time just to be two seconds closer to you,
I'd already save up the hours I have just to find my way back to you.

If I could only fit right through the cracks to find my way back to you,
I'd be running all the way back because I'm in love with you.

I swear I'm drowning in a pool of love, but it's really all I've got.
It's all but a little, but to me it seems like a lot.

In time, it feels like I'm two seconds ahead of you.
And when you're not around I don't know what to do.
Feels like I'm just so lost away from you.

If only I could buy the time.
You would be mine.

If I could be the hours of your life just to be much closer you,
I'd swear the seconds I've bought could fill the time to let me stay right next to you.

If I only had the time to spend all my hours on you,
I'd find all the reasons the why I can't ever get enough of you.

I swear I'm drowning in a pool of love, but it's really all I've got.
It's all but a little, but to me it seems like a lot.

In time, it feels like I'm two seconds ahead of you.
And when you're not around I don't know what to do.
Feels like I'm just so lost away from you.

If only I could buy the time.
You would be mine.

We're living in a city where the sun don't sing,
We know it probably rings.
And we don't see the flashy lights inside the bling,
Which makes it easy enough for us to sing.

We don't take the time to waste the times of others,
We didn't grow up close to everyone we knew like brothers.
We were just the kids growing away from being just like our fathers.

But we're hiding our fears, secretly being like cowards,
We picked and threw our women around just like flowers.
We acted dark in our hearts towards any other brighter colours.

We're the kids of the block,
Hanging around the lost.
We don't search for Love for love doesn't search for us.
We don't know her name, we don't live for her shame,
But we're both the reasons for this pain.
We refuse to take the blame.

So we're living in a city where the sun don't sing, but the moon sings it's chorus,
We worth up the richness of our heart's, but live like the poorest.
We don't have the words for all the songs we sing.
So we'll just borrow your chorus.

We are the Kids.

Cyle a waste of the wasteful mind blinded in the troubles of the world.
Lesser known to the cause of what the world follows for he follows his heart.

By a compass of wisdom, reliving through the footprints of the wiser men before.
What is spoken in mind has nothing of the words to say, but it is still not limited by such for such is not law.

Cyle a waste of the doubtful heart living upon the negatives it positively takes in.
Why live upon it if it kills us inside.

But for the sake of pride we'll fail to admit of how far we've fallen,
For no man wishes to be seen as lost unless by unseeing eyes.

So speaking to inner man within me to ignore such and following of these lies.

Cycle a soul feeling soulless on the emptiness he's made full within him.
For in time itself he has become of the many wasted hours,
Surely where is the time for him to be living the time of his life.
Why lay on the chopping board of the world's standards, openly ready to be cut down by it's knife.

Cyle the three of such a man for him to be free.
For of such man nothing is lost in the wake for he can still find the desire to dream.

Have you the nest to rest my head upon your laps,
For on this already turning world my head too is slowly spinning.

Darling if you knew the distance of my heart growing away from me you'd surely look at me with eyes of concern.

For you live just to learn, but you haven't learnt so much if you can easily count it.
And counting on me is not always a guaranteed number, but I'm taking my chances to count till infinity.

Baby if it was the right enough time for me to say this could be us, there wouldn't be enough seconds for me to say it on what time is left.

For between us both we'll make what is two to be one. But of us both one would have to make the necessary sacrifice.
Understand my ideas of marriage when I say to you I'm giving to you this life.

As I grow slowly to the idea of what the future would be, searching deeply to place my roots.
And I've found Love digging much deeper inside of me that my heart implodes.
Better yet as emotions make it explode.
And I guess for True love I'd be holding the world, taking on it's loads.

So if I ask again to find a nest on your lap to rest my head,
Don't deny me the task.
For I'd never wish in the future to beg and please for it. And maybe by then I'd never need to ask.

It's quite concerning,
this place I find myself am at.
Take a deep breath, but O'Lord I hope it doesn't stench.
I'm a spoiled mood inside my heart, feeling like a brat.

It's quite concerning,
where I've come to be but never really see what's in front of me.
Probably closing my eyes way too much to try to keep on dreaming.
While kicking the world right off my plot for too much scheming.

It's quite concerning,
how I have my wings, but don't know how yet to fly.
Living on the kind of words that feed my dreams so I don't quickly die.

Probably losing my focus staring straight so long at a crooked world,
That makes me feel so dead inside like my own funeral.

And it's that concerning I'm too emotional that I don't know when to cry,
Nor knowing if I should keep my composure when wishing someone I miss already goodbye.

Though am I qualified of being the right person,
Cause sometimes everything of me is gone so fast, I'm all that's left.
And I choose to be lesser of the swearing type, but **** it I can't help without the cursing.

And it's rather concerning, so very much concerning.
And I don't know what's there to fix inside of me when I don't know what's really working.

Child of my beloved, O'child of Mine,
we are yet to meet.
I ask of you to take to my lessons I've left behind.

The world tries you to serve revenge on a cold dish
But how do so by our warm hearts flamed by Love and Mercy.
For I tell you to show mercy by your hands as did mine. Revenge should be in complete absence of such an action, only rather choosing to make peace.

For beloved child of I,
never show care for someone only after they die.
For Death preys on us all, but shouldn't aim to feast upon our love,
For caring for someone is harder when they're all but gone to the Heavens above.

Yet let not your heart starve for desires of this world.
For I tell you that they'll surely fail you in the future when Death calls your body to the Earth. And these things you desire won't always be yours to hold.

This world surely pulls strings, but never play it's puppets.
And Love is not to be played out, for frog legs and pork chops don't go together. So don't play by strings, nor play Love like Muppets.

The heart of Man sometimes plays differently to face,
For we are to our own faults the best liars to self. But never let the in's and out's of you move differently in pace.

Child of my beloved, O'child of Mine.
Be as you, take to these lessons to teach your young. Never leave my wise words behind.
Let your eyes seek to be locked upon wisdom, lest to afford you living this life blind.

Strong not being my heart
Drinking a life away piece by piece falling apart.

Can't change a face born with,
Nor buy everything in the world to go waste after death and fall worthless.
Holding onto glass hoping to see through the world
By blurry faces everything seems less clearer
While being lost in the sky but not free as a bird.

Pause, for the game of life has gone out of play,
Stopping in between the middle, right between the trouble and sadness of today and yesterday.

Only when time beckons my heart to be where it is,
Will I keep to who I am despite whatever the hurt.
And stupidly getting up to face it once more from bruised knees.

Maybe because I'm foolish enough believing fully on hope.
Sleeping on time just to keep to my dreams.
Standing out the pattern of the rest and the other folk.

And find me foolish to keeping to the pursuit of conquering all trouble,
And gladly shall I share with them the joke.

Surely that often enough you look that fine
Aged on the Beauty and taste of your Love
Lips tasting on you of such fine Red Wine.

A glass for my troubles just to dull them off
Darling be the last of the strong grape essence that will grip my throat.
Darling Red Wine of mine of much worth.

For on this night O' Love of mine
Your heart turns the twirls of my mind till it spins out of my control.

For a piece of your Love has paid off my feelings for you by a dime.
For I'll search so deeply inside my soul,
To finding reason to grow old of your taste.

But you'd never go to my tongue's memory to spoil.

Stirring my heart, stirring through me, piercing my heart right through.
Sticking to me that close that we're probably one.
And surely I'm not taking all this just as childish fun.
For I take to your taste that seriously enough that I never grow tired of you.

My sweet, sweet, Red Wine,
O' How often do I see you so fine.
For my Heart is awed to the knowing of you being Mine.

O' my Red Wine.

Likely in an entire lifetime I'm yet to have lived
Taking each day on just as fling.
Hoping to fly through my time, but surely how on Broken wings.

A Great Eagle falling down from it's high pride and grace.
Those he preyed Upon now prey on his misfortune,
The hunt he once owned, he now owes back to be the hunted.
All the strength of his wings all gone to waste.

But him and I are possibly that much a like
Surviving on the skills that keep us close to life.
For we'll both will find such fright when the skill blessed upon us doesn't provide food to hold our stomach down for the night.

Our broken wings will ache so greatly, trying desperately to stretch.
While being held down to foreign land that holds down our weight,
And for a short period we'll lose the identity of our nature and be like dogs playing fetch.

But that's not the moment telling our time is surely done yet,
For through the aching of our Broken Wings we'll stretch them out to find our strength again.
Looking to the skies our home, stretching out to her to hold her once more in our wings stretch.

Taking to the great skies for our Broken Wings shall not hold us back any more,
Take to the Sky as she gives back to us our True place.
To fly above it all as the great Bird we are and soar.

On these once Broken Wings we've found the strength they've always had from before.
For we aren't held down to the ground, for Eagles don't find their True place towards the floor.

So to the Eagle and I, shall we find strength on our Broken Wings.