I am broken
My mind, body, and soul
Shattered into millions of pieces
Darkness was slowly looming over me
The rabbit hole looked so tempting
A way to stop feeling
To stop caring
Only the dark seemed to call me
I could no longer feel the light
Looking in the mirror,
I did not like who I saw
These soulless eyes staring back at me
The life and joy ****** out
The routine of the day just getting to me
Meaningful things just felt meaningless
The light in my eyes just fading to black
Through all this
You never ran
Though the darkness tried to consume me
Your glimmer of light was enough to end the invasion
When I tried to hide the pain
You patiently waited
When I hide my feelings
You patiently waited
Although it was hurting you
You gave me the time,
The space,
To find myself
I found myself
The light returning to my eyes
The shattered pieces finding their way back together
My mind, body, and soul reawakening
I was broken
But not anymore
It took strength that I did not know exist
Strength to lean on you
I was broken
And I could not do it on my own
You saved me
Thank You!

Sometimes we hold on to things that just don't exist anymore
Friendships because of shared memories
Acquaintances because of networking potential
People in general who once were around, but no longer there

Is it because we want to keep our memories alive?
Keep the bonds and connections we have?
Why do we long for bonds?
Why do we hold on to every possibility that came our way?

Unfortunately in life people grow apart
We drift away for an array of reasons
Some because our commonality is no longer there
Others because of the notion when out of sight, your out of mind

Social media has given a false sense of friendship
Just because it says we are "Friends" , doesn't always ring true
When was the last time we had a meaningful conversation?
Could you remember a birthday without being notified?

Technology has brought us closer, but with consequence
We have lost that human touch
We hide behind the our cell phones, computers, and tablets
We forget how to interact with another human being face to face

This by no means negates the position influence of technology
People we would have never interacted with, because of distance
We just need to redesign the human element in those interactions

Friendship has become a loosely used word
That we forget its meaning
Although most would agree we define it differently
Just as opinions are subject to interpretation
Friendship, as well, is subject to interpretation

Friendship is about harmony and understanding
The ability to share without judgement
To relate to things, even if you cannot understand
Being there for each other verbally or face-to-face

Sadly if a "friend" cannot fit into your personal definition
Are they truly a friend?
Do you become so anxious to keep the friend flame alive?
When deep down you know it has already died

We must re-evaluate on what friendship means to us, to you
What friendship means to another person
Understand that when one friendship dies
Another can rise within its flames
Just under new definition

Bridges burn all the time
Just like in the journey of life
The road is always under construction
New bridges can always be formed and connected

When the Sun goes down
The Night wakes up
The darkness we once feared
Brings reflection to the roaming mind

Gaze upon the night’s sky
Close your eyes for a moment
Breathe in deeply
Slowly release it

Feel the cool air across your skin
Listen to the light noises around you
A sense of calm and stillness
But life all around you

The owl waking up for the night
The insects going on patrol
The birds going to rest
Families in nature coming together

Take solace in your surrounding
Calm the mind
Life is more than the day you had
Rest

I remember you,
but who are you?
Are you a memory?
A fragment of the past?

I can hear you whisper in my dreams
Telling me to remember
But how can I remember,
If I am not sure if its real

Are these MY thoughts?
MY dreams?
MY emotions?
MY memories?

I remember your olive skin
Your light eyes
The brown and gold in your hair
The smile on your face
But I don't know who you are

It's as if the echos of the past are trying to reach me
Remind me of who I am or was
Sending me subconscious messages that I cannot decipher
Telling me I am more than who I am

Are you real?
Are you just in my dreams?
I want to remember you
But, what is the point of that?

If you are echo
Does it really matter?
If your an echo of a distant past
Why are you special?

For now I will close my eyes again
And try not to think
If we happen to meet again
Maybe, I will fully remember

Sometimes the hardest thing to say is what you feel
It's the fear that for what you say isn't taken for real
When you express yourself you want it to lead to something
Instead of it all being for nothing

The truth about your emotions are the hardest to share
Remember, once you share them you cant take them away
It's like a game of Russian roulette
You win some or you lose some

You want to win
Cause if you lose, you look like a fool
You want to be straight forward
You want to be honest
Say what you feel So they feel what you say

It's the fear that holds you
But NEVER let fear control you
Let go of the fear
Throw down your guard
Open the gates
That lead to your heart

I will think of you from time to time
Of the good times and bad
The years we spent together
Adventures we had
Your memory lives in a place in my heart and mind
But I will slowly purge you from my body and soul
It is time to say good bye
I will mourn the death of our friendship
For it did not have to be this way
But I guess you really can’t’ have it your way
Hope life is good to you
I wish you the best
Now forget me
And think of me as a ghost of the past
For I rather be a memory
Then be your friend

The clouds overhead presenting an ominous expression
The feelings of sadness looming from the darkness
The cool air providing a shiver down your spine
The weather is taking a turn

But then something happens

The sun begins to shine through
Rays of light breaking through the clouds
As if to guide souls to the pearly gates
Warming the air to bring comfort

The light cutting through the darkness
The light lighting up the path
Through its brightest reveals hope
No matter how dark the days, there can always be light

Keep hope alive
Let your light shine

I am not a god,
But I can do a lot for you

I can brighten your days,
When its pouring out rain

I can hold you close,
When you need it the most

I can come to you running,
When you call out my name

I can succeed,
When others have failed

I can be the one you lean on,
When you feel like crying

I can take care of you,
When you are not well

I can change your world,
When you give me a try

I can show you love,
When you need it the most

I can do a plenty for you
When you say the word

To do what I can, when...

I look at you and become selfish and upset
You probably look at me and wonder why?
If you only knew what was deep inside
Then there will be no reason for wondering

I have a soft exterior with a rock solid interior
Though the interior is solid it gets a bit soft
I have feelings and emotions that I want to share with you
But I feel that there is no need

I read those words of wisdom
That say don't miss the chance to say what you feel
In some cases, some feelings are better left unsaid

I'm writing this not to tell you how I feel
I'm writing this to ease my heart
To ease the pain and suffering
That I dealt with for some time

Like I said I look at you
I feel selfish and upset
This time I will tell you

When I'm with you I feel whole inside
I have no worries or fears
All my sadness is gone and all I feel is happiness

I find enjoyment in all the time I spend with you
From the funny jokes to the sad talks
Every moment with you is worth it

You probably wonder then why are you upset
Well this is why
Were just friends

Friendship is important to all of us
But when it comes to you I wish it was more than that
I wanted to be with you

I don't ever want to not have you by my side
I want to take you everywhere with me
To wake up to you
I always wonder what is it like to kiss your lips
To feel your soft body on mines, not sexually but romantically
What is it like to hold your hand to hug you close
To protect you

People see us and say we look great together
I look at us and I know we are great together

When people ask where I am
Nine times out of ten I'm with you

Its funny how we do similar thing couples do
But were not even near being a couple
Its true

Yes, you are my friend
And some relationships can stem from that
Yes, you are my friend
And I rather have you some way then no way
But in my mind you are more than that

You are my center, my balance
You are the ying to my yang
The peanut to my jelly
All those clique things they say when people complete each other

I guess what I really want to say to you
Is that I love you and wish to be with you
But I'm one of the fortunate, unfortunates
I have a best friend, who is you
But that's all well be
Just friends.

I'm not really upset as I write this
I'm not even bitter
I guess I don't want things to change between us
But I know it will

I get upset for the fact that you're not appreciated
That guys hurt you and not know your worth

I remember when you fear being alone
That you are part of the curse
As I told you before
I won't let it happen

If you were to ever read this don't look at me different
Try not to act differently
Just know that you have a friend that deeply cares about you
And that friend will be there forever
To make sure you're always okay

It was said once that all humans look to form a connection
This connection can be in physical or spiritual
Sometimes the connection we make can be severed fairly quickly
While others become meaningful and everlasting

We look in search for someone to understand us
Sometimes that someone is a stranger that you have never met
Is this normal?
Is this strange?
Is it weird that for some reason that connection just feels right?

The world may never know
Sometimes we ask ourselves
If we were to pass each other on the street
Would we even engage in conversation?
Would we even acknowledge?

Out there is a kindred spirit calling out to us
Just as your spirit maybe calling out to them
They call at the strangest in time to have a relationship
Just to be able to have that key element in relationship, to relate

We are always in search for someone to lean on
Even if we are not ready to let someone in
It is the idea that we have the opportunity to open up
Little by little, time after time

Simple communications
Reaching out to touch someone
Verbally, visually, or spiritually
The simple fact is we all long for a connection

Every time we attempt to connect
It is a fearful experience
What is more fearful?
Is when we cannot understand the connection?

Why am I so comfortable?
What is going on between us?
Where is this going?
And mostly what does it all mean?

Honestly right now those questions do not matter
Only the here and now does
The connection between us
The wondering if they are thinking about you
Like you are thinking of them

Wondering how is their day going?
And when will we talk next?
What are we going to share today?
How can I keep calm, when I am so afraid?

Many questions arise from the interaction
But the reality and reaction is that
We have found a kindred spirit
Who we also call our friend

It may be possible we may never met
This does not mean we won't be there for each other
It may be unclear on what will happen
But it would be a great journey
To maybe one day meet my friend

They say that eyes are the window to the soul
To see the history held inside
The mysteries of life that is not ready to be told
But what happens when you try to look into your eyes

When facing the mirror, looking at yourself
The Past, Present, and Future become one in that single moment in time
To visualize the person you were, who you are, and who you want to be
Or the person hope you will be
Contemplating the decisions of your identity

It is that moment in the mirror where you face yourself
To motivate or make excuses to yourself
To decide if you are going to settle with your life
Or persuade yourself to push for greatness

The mirror provides the opportunity to revisit the younger you
The version of yourself with so much excitement and promise
The free spirit that was creative and without fear
Until the world beat you down

Imagine younger you looking at the present and future
Would they be happy?
Would they want a different life for themselves?
Well only you can decide that

It is never too late to change
Never too late to reclaim yourself
Just remember
When you looked at that Mirror, will you be happy with who was staring back

I kneel before her in respect
I gaze upon her in love
Observe the radiance of her skin
For she is the Goddess

Her movements of beauty and mysticism
The purity of her soul
The curls of her hair
The light shining from her eyes

She truly is the Goddess
For her beauty is not just on the surface
For it runs deep from within
The splendor of fire and divinity

As the Goddess she brings hope
As the Goddess she brings love
For she is my everything
And I will give my all

I was born in a city
But I have no hometown
I lived half my life in a city
But I lack connection

Traveling from state to state
Transferring from school to school
I used to miss that city
But never looked back when I moved away

The hardest question for me to answer was where are you from

I was born in this place
But live in that place
Moved to this place
And back to that place

Venturing through life like the wind
Going with the flow of things
Have no where to truly call home
I am the Nomad

I envy those who have roots
People who can say well my home is X
A place they can always go back to
Man, I wish I had that

Longing to find my place in the world
One where I would be happy
A place to call home
A place to have roots

For being a Nomad is just so lonely

As the clouds coming rolling in
And the darkness begins to set
It is made clear
That a storm is coming
Though I look at this storm
I can't help but smile
For it makes me think it makes me think of us
And how much we have in common

For when I think of us together
I think about how we are like that storm
Our bodies are the clouds
When we come together, we create thunder
Causing a chaotic sound all around
But not negative chaos

The chaos of the loving type that people will hate
Just as they hate the thunder in the sky
But that doesn't happen till the time is right
For when the atmosphere is right
Is when the clouds are ready to come together
Once we join together we make the world just rumble
With every rumble the air begins to moisten

Nice bitter sweet moisture that can only be the sweat
The sweat off our bodies turns to heavy raindrops
The rain that people will never feel.
For to feel these raindrops
They need to feel what I feel
The storm though doesn't stop there

The passion between us excites the air
Friction tearing across the sky
That friction becoming a blinding light
That we know as lightening
Lighting full of excitement, passion, and fire
Causing those to try and bear witness fall to its brilliance
Heating up the sky with the heat of our love

The bodies clash, the sweat drips, and the love flashes
But with every storm as it comes to its temporary end
The clouds come apart
The rain stops
The flashes of lightning clear
The calm comes in
The calm that only we can experience
Together holding each other
Waiting for the next one

For There's Always a Storm Coming

As the weather cools
Nature begins to sleep
Plants lose their flowers
Trees bare their leaves

The circle of life is continuous
All life is precious
As the flower's stem appear to be bare
One cannot ignore the small sign of life

Through this bitter cold life found a way
For a single red rose is beginning to bud
As time flows the bud begins to flower
Although all around has withered and died

The single rose has found it's way
Through the elements it's carved it own life
For regardless of the conditions
Like the Rose, we control our destinies

What is this feeling I have?

Is it pain or fear?

Is it happiness or sadness?

This feeling feels like something is breaking

Yet I cannot tell if it is my bones or my heart

This feeling feels like confusion

I don't know how to handle this

I feel one way but scared to feel it

Don't want to rid it because I want to feel it

What is wrong with me?

I don't know who I am

This feeling I feel is causing me problems

I can't call or understand it

I want to accept it but I can't

I want to run from it but I don't

The feeling of breaking I know what it is

It's the cage inside me

Little by little it's breaking away

Something has penetrated it but I have no wounds

Slowly but surely, I know what I feel

It's the feeling of love that turns me away

I've been hurt in the name of love

I've been a fool in the name of love


Sigh...


What is the point?

What is the meaning?

I can't answer these questions

But this is how I'm feeling

Please love let me be or give me sign you will be kind

I'm not going to give into you easily

I'm going to fight the feeling

But then I think

There must be a reason that I feel this way

Been many of years that the cage broke away

Maybe the feeling is the sign that I needed

Maybe it is time that my wounds stopped bleeding

I know it is time to show my love

To receive it To give it a try

Maybe love will win this round

Just do me a favor, don't mess around

Do not worry

For WE got this love

For there is no I in team

Yes there is a ME

But if we turn the M upside down

We can get a W

Thus get a WE

For there is no YOU

And there is no ME

It is WE and US

As WE are not alone in this

YOUR pain is MY pain

And the reverse is true

So lets pick OUR head up

Lean on OUR shoulders

Because WE got this, babe

Wait till the night
Step outside
Look up at the stars
Realize how small we are

Looking into the past
As if it was the present
Knowing there is so much more
That we do not understand

We are part of a bigger universe
A greater picture
We must look beyond ourselves
To find purpose

Our history just started
Our place not solidified
There is still time
To change our lives

Art derives in an array of forms
Mother’s art is in dancing
Father’s art is in drawing
Sister’s art is in drawing
Niece’s art is in drawing

But where is my art?
Do I lack skill?
I cannot draw
I cannot dance
Am I just genetically flawed to not be artistic?

NO

My art is in my writing
My art is in the ability to take apart a computer and rebuild it
My art is in education
My art is MY ART

Art is the freedom to express oneself
Art is being able to put emotions to what you are doing
My art just isn't at the same level as others
My art is MY ART

The passion
The flow
The elegance of writing
Is MY ART

So if you ever cast doubt on yourself
If you ever wonder what you have to offer
Just remember
YOUR ART is what you love to do
You are an artist in your own way