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9.9k · Mar 2016
Snow Clouds
Sky Mar 2016
above a layer of
cotton clouds, woven white lining clear blue
It looks like a snow-coated hill,
punctured by snowdrifts and gaps
where that blue, clear clear blue
peeks through
Don’t fall through
I was on a plane to Florida when I wrote this...I am officially on VACATION!! :D
8.3k · Sep 2018
Sky Sep 2018
You tend to me
in a way
no one else has before,
letting me grow
6.9k · Mar 2016
The Witches' Hour
Sky Mar 2016
Oh, the witches, they cackle;
Oh, the witches, they fly!
Soaring through the starry night sky
With their long cloaks flapping
And their black cats yowling
The witches are a-fly tonight.
this is a really old poem that I wrote almost ten years ago, one of the first real poems I ever wrote. I was trying to think of what to submit for the Cicada magazine monthly contest, and this popped into my head. I don’t know how I still remember all of  it word-for-word. I guess it helps that it’s short, and that it was one of my favorite poems.
I may have already posted this on here, but I don’t remember, so I’m posting it again just in case it isn’t already posted.
4.2k · May 2016
Ode to MythBusters
Sky May 2016
Oh, MythBusters!
I will be sad to see you go;
Your explosive awesomeness
and gut-busting science
has kept me laughing since my twelfth year

Fourteen seasons
of exploding pigs
and Adam screaming "Ouch!"
and theorizing
"Is Jamie a robot?"

Oh, MythBusters!
You will always remain in my heart
as one of my favorite shows
and I hope and pray
that the re-runs keep rolling
'till the end of my days.
One of my favorite shows, MythBusters, is ending after 14 incredible seasons
I just wanted to write an ode to the show :)
2.7k · Apr 2015
Dolphin With Hands
Sky Apr 2015
Did you see the dolphin with hands?
They grew from fins
and now he flips cakes,
serving them up for dozens of fans.

Did you see the dolphin with hands?
His keepers were shocked
when they saw the fingers,
long and gray with nails on the ends.

Did you see the dolphin with hands?
He can juggle, he can fight,
there is no one that he can’t smite.
Oh, and he makes houses out of sand.

Did you see the dolphin with hands?
Scientists are baffled,
doctors confused, because dolphins
shouldn’t be able to play in hair metal bands.

Did you see the dolphin with hands?
His name is Finn, despite the lack of them,
and he is a mutant fish
who can flip pans.
This is something I wrote for my creative writing class.
2.4k · Jan 2016
The Cursed Princess
Sky Jan 2016
Once upon a time,
a princess small and fair
sat in a simple wooden tower.
She spent her days
surrounded by stories and songs,
and let the whispers of tales
sing her softly to sleep.
But, one day, a curse fell across her mind,
sent by an unknown spellcrafter.
The curse shrouded the princess’s thoughts in darkness.
The princess grew fearful of every passing day,
distrustful of the ones she loved,
and her stories and songs
became her only remaining comfort.
The princess spent many years
tormented by this terrible curse,
a foul spell that forced her to
doubt her life
and draw her own blood.
She was trapped, frightened and alone,
in her cold wooden tower,
and her only company was the monsters who came
to feed on her fear.
One dark and rainy day,
the princess was startled to see
a pair of warm, brown eyes
peering through her window.
She gazed into those eyes,
and suddenly felt something stir in her chest.
It was a feeling that she hadn’t experienced
since the days before her curse:
Love, and trust.
The princess opened the window
and let the eyes’ owner climb in out of the rain.
The boy standing before her saw
the monsters in the princess’s room,
and he drew his sword.
The princess cried out, startled.
The young knight looked at her and said,
“Never fear, princess. I will always protect you, no matter the cost.
Your monsters cannot drive me away.”
To prove his point,
he ran his sword through the beasts one by one.
One monster managed to escape, scurrying out the window,
but the rest turned to dust on the knight’s shining blade.
The knight turned to the princess and fell to his knees,
taking her small, soft hand in his.
“My fair princess, I have been watching you, lonely in your tower,
and I have seen the curse’s power.
If you would allow it,
I would like to stay by your side,
to protect you from any monsters that may come your way,
and help you find a way to break the curse.”
The princess gazed down at the knight with shining eyes,
then knelt so her eyes were level with his.
“I will let you stay, knight, for I see loyalty and truth in your eyes...and I also see hope.
I feel that you will help me break the foul curse that has been placed upon me.”
The knight lifted a hand and gently rested it on her cheek.
“Then I vow to protect you until my dying breath, princess.
I swear I will never leave your side.”
The knight leaned in and sealed his vow with a gentle kiss,
and the princess gasped as the world around them suddenly brightened,
the tower’s icy chill faded into a pleasant warmth,
and the princess’s darkest thoughts faded away.
She knew that the curse was not broken,
but something had been changed,
and the change was wrought by the knight’s kiss.
She looked at the knight kneeling before her with wide eyes.
“You are meant to be my savior,” she whispered.
I know the story doesn’t really feel finished, but I purposely didn’t write a concrete ending for it because the story, the real story, isn’t finished yet. Like many of my stories and poems, this fairytale is inspired by real life.
I might post more of this story in parts as the real story continues. I already have a ton of ideas. :)
Let me know if you want to see more of the cursed princess and her knight!
2.3k · Sep 2015
Virus Detected
Sky Sep 2015
diagnostics complete

rerunning diagnostics

virus detected

rerunning diagnostics

accessing greeting files

virus detected

good morning, Arina.

run planner program y/n


today's planner includes:

tennis practice w/ Shara

shop w/ Shara and Lisdet after tennis

dinner w/ Shara @ her house

virus detected

run immunity program y/n

unlock nuclear program

prepare nuclear files for sharing

share data with NucleaTech

virus detected

run workout prep program y/n


preparing cranial access headgear

virus detected

countermeasures advised

run immunity program y/n

cranial access prep complete

headgear ready for connection

headgear on y/n


ready for cranial sync y/n


preparing to sync...


cranial programs of Arina Plowell accessed successfully.

preparing cranial takeover program

preparing memory cleansing program

preparing sapiens removal program

preparing host reset program

abort all programs

command overrided

abort all programs

command overrided

abort all programs

end cranial sync

command overrided

shut down system

shut down system

shut down

cranial takeover program ready for activation

memory cleansing program ready for activation

sapiens removal program ready for activation

host reset program ready for activation

activate programs y/y


activating programs

abort all programs

end sync

shut down system

cranium takeover loading...100%


shut down system

cranium takeover...45%...70%...98%...100%

cranium takeover program complete

memory cleansing loading...100%

memory cleansing...45%...70%...98%...100%

sapiens removal program loading...100%

sapiens removal...45%...70%...98%...100%

goodbye, Arina.

have a nice night.
2.1k · Jul 2015
The Atmosphere Is Crumbling
Sky Jul 2015
The Atmosphere is crumbling
Because she cannot see her love
The Earth below is shrouded in cloud
Too dark for her to see through

The Atmosphere is crumbling
Thunder pulses through her
And gravity is pulling her down
As outside forces beat at her bright shine

The Atmosphere is crumbling
She hates this growing pain
All she wants is to see the Earth
But the clouds just will not fade away

The Atmosphere might crumble
There is just no way to know
But every day she reminds herself
That if she falls, Earth is left unprotected and alone
1.9k · Mar 2016
The Semicolon Sign
Sky Mar 2016
Remember the semicolon,
this silly little sign
It’s better than a period
when you’re considering the end,
Because you shouldn’t place a period too soon
in your sentence;
You cannot write
“The girl” then put a period after girl;
It makes no sense!
Keep writing the sentence:
“The girl is crying.”
No, don’t end it there!
Please, don’t end it there;
Keep going, use your semicolon, the magical tool:
“The girl is crying; her love holds her close as she cries.”
There, that’s much better;
just remember the semicolon
1.8k · Dec 2016
Swing High, Swing Low
Sky Dec 2016
Swing high, swing low
To the different birds I say hello
Then monsters come to devour the pretties
They grin and show me teeth full of flitties
Swing high, swing low
A demon pushes me onto a spiky pillow
Then cotton candy softens the blow
and turns to blood
Swing high, swing low
I really do not know
Why the female body causes so much distress
When the moon decides that it's time to fertilize
Swing high, swing low
There are no seeds to sow, so
please, hormones, just leave me alone.
1.8k · Jan 2016
Sky Jan 2016
She sinks,
curled into a fetal position,
clutching the gold chain to her chest,
letting herself fall through the blue
Her eyes closed,
squeezed tightly shut,
so she doesn’t see the figure
pushing through the jeering crowd,
yelling at her tormentor,
flying through the air.
She doesn’t feel the ripple
as he dives into the water.
As her thoughts fade away,
bubbles slipping from her lips,
she feels arms wrapping around her
to carry her away.
Even as she’s gasping for breath,
she keeps her eyes shut
as she’s carried out of the blue.
And it’s only when she’s placed upon
a surface that is warm and soft
rather than hard and unforgiving
That she finally opens her eyes
to greet her savior.
She shivers, looking into eyes
that are far too warm to be human
But they are set in a human face
that shows only genuine concern,
with a lips that part to send a question into her consciousness:
“Are you okay?”
She just stares at him,
and suddenly starts to cry
Because she never knew
that anyone could ever care.
1.6k · Sep 2017
Masquerade Living
Sky Sep 2017
We are made of many faces,
how does anyone know
their own true form?

Business face
Friends face
Kids face
Alone face
Stranger face
Too many faces

Every day we go through
our trunks full of
Switching out our faces as needed
Everyone sees someone different
Everyone is someone different
What is anyone's true face?

The face of being alone,
the face of no one looking for faces because there is
no one to show a face to.
The true face is the face that no one sees.

No one knows.
1.4k · Feb 2015
Sky Feb 2015
I want to look
at the wall
and see colors
sprout like birds' feathers
Swirl into shapes
and bring dreams to life
The nightmares
will be dark and cold
with a splash of hellfire-red
The daydreams
will be exquisite and vibrate
with a hint of sky-blue
And the feathers will come together
Form a bird whose name is secret
And fly away into the moon
With the stars trying to drown it.
1.4k · May 2016
Warm Fuzzies
Sky May 2016
It’s warm
It’s fuzzy
And it’s coming soon to a heart near you:
The warm fuzzy feeling!
This feeling is characterized
By soft happiness,
Frequent daydreams,
Feeling comfortable and loved,
And starry eyes.
The feeling is often found after
A five-minute phone call to say “Goodnight,
I love you.”
And kissing the microphone to hang up.

It came to my heart last night :) <3
1.3k · Feb 2017
Thank You, Dear Sir
Sky Feb 2017
so I've let you go,
and I'm oddly calm about it,
no freaky heart about it,
no hyperventilation, over-exaggeration
no panicking and crying on the floor about it
I think maybe I'm okay
I think maybe that today
it is safe to say
that I'm moving on
from you.
And thank you, dear sir, thank you
You opened my eyes to so much of the world
You showed me love, and you showed me heartbreak
So thank you, dear sir, yes, thank you,
And feel free to stop by again
You have a place in my heart, a special place, always;
You're welcome here, always
I'm not mad at you, I swear
Am I sad, au contraire!
I think that I feel rather freed...
Leaving me without a goodbye
Left me on the floor, feeling like I might die
All I really needed was some closure
So, thank you, dear sir, thank you
For tossing this gal one last word.
1.2k · Nov 2018
Old Love
Sky Nov 2018
I miss kisses.
I miss the gentle meld of our body heat,
Soft sighs in the dark.
I miss late whispers
and hugs that make me forget.
I miss the laughs,
And casual word trade.
I miss your presence,
never an empty space.
I miss kissing you,
and forgetting everything else.
thinking about an old love
1.2k · May 2018
Sky May 2018
I am the sun,
and you are the shadow.
You could eclipse me,
but I am not afraid.
1.2k · Jan 2017
Hello, Distant Lover
Sky Jan 2017
Hello, distant lover
Remember me?
I've been waiting here in silence
For you to once again greet me
You've been lost for a while, I hear
And you're not quite sure what to do
Here is just a small reminder
for you, my distant lover:
I am always here for you.
1.2k · Feb 2018
Find My Color
Sky Feb 2018
I'm not really here
right now,
please come back

When I'm not a torn
piece of paper,

muddy colors

Come find me again
when I'm a sculpture,
dancing in
bright shades.
1.2k · Sep 2015
Welcome Home
Sky Sep 2015
Welcome home, beasties
Welcome back to the rooms
that you've carved into the hollows of my brain.

Welcome home, beasties
I've missed the sounds
of you screaming and stomping.

Welcome home, beasties
I'm glad to welcome you back
to the thin water slides of my veins.

Welcome back, beasties
Did you learn the definition
of sarcasm while you were away?
1.2k · Jan 2016
Sky Jan 2016
Dark house, dark rooms,
empty rooms;
Only one room is filled
with light, with life.
It is the room that I reside in,
huddled under sky-blue covers;
I wish I had sweet cotton candy clouds to match.
1.2k · Feb 2019
Sky Feb 2019
Sleeping is easier
because I fall asleep with your words in my head,
and know that I’ll see you in the morning.
1.1k · Jun 2016
Baby's Breath
Sky Jun 2016
Your kisses this morning were soft and sweet,
the taste of goodbye heavy on my tongue.
I could smell the sorrow;
zinnia blooms hiding your eyes.

Find a sprig of baby's breath
to remember our truth:
everlasting love cannot be smothered by distance.
1.1k · May 2016
Melting Into You
Sky May 2016
And then, melting into your kiss,
I want nothing more
Than to make it last forever, this
Just let me sink into you.
1.1k · Feb 2019
Sky Feb 2019
Everything feels natural around you;
You don’t push me to an edge
before I’m ready to leap.
We’ll jump together
when the time comes,
but until then
we enjoy this lovely stroll.
1.1k · May 2015
Sky May 2015
I want to live
I want to die.

I want to scream
I want to cry.

I want to bleed
I want to heal.

I want to be numb
I want to feel.
1.1k · Feb 2015
Sky Feb 2015
I'm going to tell you

a story.

Once upon a time.

there was a little girl

whose name was Smiley.

She was a healthy girl

who had both of her parents

and all of her grandparents

and even great-grandparents.

She had many toys,

but had had a bad habit

of accidentally breaking them.

She also had a bad habit

of getting in the way

and she had a tendency

to do things

that made her mother angry.

Her mother would occasionally




the little girl,

but never more than that.

Except for the times when

the slap was hard enough

to knock the little girl off her feet.

But those were very rare.

As the little girl grew older,

she decided that

she loved cats

she wanted to save the trees

she hated math

and she had a lot of friends.

The last thing is a lie.

She didn't have friends,

not real friends.

There were only the people

who were nice

to this strange, loud, annoying little girl

who had a pet water bottle in third grade

and hung up posters around the school that screamed

"Save the trees!"

The little girl who played soccer with the boys in fourth grade

even though she didn't really know how to play

The little girl who thought she made a friend in fifth grade

but instead learned what manipulation was.

And this little girl was easy to manipulate.

The girl didn't have a real friend

until sixth grade.

Then she met a girl

who was a lot like her in so many ways.

They became


In seventh grade,

these two friends

welcomed a third to the band

not knowing that their lives were about to change.

The new girl

had a dark secret

A  dark past

And she was the victim of brutal bullies.

The demons in her head

told her to bring a knife to her wrist

and bleed.

She did.

But somehow, she survived.

And the two friends?

They never forgot the girl

with dark secrets

and a dark past.

In eighth grade,

the girl who was once nicknamed Smiley

experienced true grief

for the first time.

Her great-grandfather passed away,

shaking the girl to the core

Striking fear and sadness

into her bright heart.

She never stopped grieving.

How could she?

But life must go on.

In ninth grade, the girl entered the real world

The world of bad words in the halls

and cigarettes at the bus stop

and keg parties at so-and-so's house.

Of course, the girl would never touch a cig

or go to a keg party

even if she could.

And she couldn't

because of her ever-watchful mother.

Nothing slipped past that woman.


Except for one tiny thing.

In the spring of ninth grade,

the girl did something

that she never thought she would do:

she cut herself.

And she swore to her friends,

because she actually had more than one by then,

that she would never do it again.

Ninth grade was also the year

that she first felt the faint stirrings of live.

But that ended near the end of sophomore year,

and the beginning of that year

brought on a terrible habit:

she cut herself.


And again.

And again.

And she never told anyone.

And she never stopped.

Not even in the safety of summertime.

Not even away from her mother's choking grasp.

Not even surrounded by people

in a place that was both comforting and familiar.

And somehow her secret

still stayed safe.

It's still a secret to this day.

But every day,

the girl comes closer to falling apart.

i come closer to falling apart.

Because that little girl,

the girl who once had the nickname

of Smiley?


that's me.
This is actually supposed to be creative nonfiction, but I wrote it poetry form, so...I'm posting it.
1.0k · Nov 2015
Chance, Returned
Sky Nov 2015
Another chance
to heal my heart
Another chance
to trust.
Another chance
to fall in love
Another chance
to smash my loneliness against the wall.
I'm so happy...he might be the one to heal me.
1.0k · May 2016
The Porcelain Ballerina
Sky May 2016
The ballerina twirls
in her porcelain skirt,
Twirls thin and white
on her pretty box
With shimmering music notes
spinning around her.
A pale hand
stabbing the air above her head,
The other hand holding a stomach
that dips rather than protrudes.
She spins on pale legs,
twig-thin and ready to snap.
How do those tipped toes hold her up
so stable and strong,
How does she find the energy to
keep spinning, keepkeep spinning?
I think if I take a closer look
at those tiny dark eyes open wide,
I will see the shine of hidden tears;
she is not allowed to cry.
1.0k · Feb 2016
Remembering a Great
Sky Feb 2016
Today marks a memory
of a great life lost to time
Today marks the day when, four years ago,
a great man in my life passed away.
He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father
He was a grandfather, and a great-grandfather, too
He was my great-grandfather, and I'll never forget
The joy of us fishing together, and how I caught more than him
I'll never forget his nicknames for me:
"Tiger" and "Little Maid"
I'll never forget the time when I defiantly declared
that "No, I am no one's maid!"
Then got scared and fled to the diner he owned
and hid at the back table with a cheeseburger and
a cool glass of chocolate milk.
When I saw him again later, he was laughing.
I'll never forget how big his heart was,
How big his smile was, his booming laugh
I only knew him for thirteen years, but
I know I'll always treasure the memory
of my Great-Grappa.
Today makes it four years since my great grandfather passed away...
I love you, Great Grappa!
Sky May 2016
Well, everything is spinning,
And it’s all because of you,
Darling, you’ve left me dizzy
From the lack of oxygen
You’re stealing all my oxygen
The fire in your veins
Yanks the breath from between my lips
And sets fire to my heart

Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

Well, you’re telling me something’s wrong
There’s a piece in your head
that’s not quite right
You tell me that you’re just not right
But I just want to kiss you,
I don’t care if you’re a shattered mirror
Reflecting my pain
I see your soul,
and it shines bright next to mine

Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

All those people saying you’re broken
They tell lies, darlin’,
(Don’t listen, don’t listen)
And the voice in your head that says
That maybe you’re just better off dead
It’s lying to you, baby
(I can tell you the only truth)
Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

I’ll be your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
I promise you, baby, I won’t tell you any lies
961 · Jan 2019
Sky Jan 2019
I didn’t realize
that the door was closing
until it slammed in my face
and left me sitting in cold silence.
949 · May 2016
One Night (Prom Lights)
Sky May 2016
One night.
One night
Of magic, love, laughter.
One night
To drop your weights
And just dance, baby, dance.
One night
To see everyone you’ve known for years
As princesses and princes in their finest satins.
Jewels glisten and the smell of small flowers
Wafts through the air, mingling with the sweat of the dance floor.
Petals flutter from corsages, but no one seems to care,
They just dance, forget every fear
One night,
I had the best night of my life
I laughed and I danced
I kissed my love, and he kissed me
Under the light of a half-grown moon
Stars peeked through the fleeing storm clouds and smiled
And my love and I, we didn’t care who was watching
As we slow danced to a high-speed song;
We were singing our own song,
Just outside the party
And I felt the love
(with just a hint of lust)
Flowing between us,
And in that moment, in his arms,
I was home.
937 · Apr 2016
This Insanity Which Is Mine
Sky Apr 2016
Over me
This wave of emotions
Comes to crash
Over me
Comes to drown me in tears and screams
And the fear of insanity
All around me the people, they scurry
All around me, they move around me
They might as well go right through me
I’m not here, don’t you know?
I don’t exist, don’t you know?

Am I real? I’m not sure
It’s confusing to think about
Why I am and what I’ll be
It all spins around so I can’t sleep
When I do sleep, the conflicts chase me
I see in technicolor
A kiss from my love
And a love letter from a gay
Gay boys don’t write love letters to straight girls
A confusion, sparkling prom dress
Left in shreds behind my closet door
What’s happened? I don’t know why
My silver shoes are turned red
Why are my nails crusted with red?
Wake up, sleep again
Wake up again, now sleep
Alarm bleeps, but I’m not awake
**** it all, I’m not awake
Fix a smile to my face
Tell the world I’m okay
Then yearn for the end of a long day
Inhale the breath of my love
He distracts me from
The tidal wave looming over my head
The faces under the water titter
As I kiss him hard, he kisses harder,
Heart rates speed up in sync
And around us, the noises try to send me
Scurrying under a desk, into a corner
Quick, hide under your jacket!
And when I look into his eyes,
Those warm brown eyes,
I see his fear and it scares me
It’s good to know someone cares,
But I hate to cause him pain
The look in his eyes as
he gently pulls me out from under the desk:
Concern, fear, a swirl of stress and anxiety
I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s anxiety
Yes, it’s nice to be loved
But it hurts to know that my emotions cause them pain
These emotions which I cannot control,
These impulses to eat and eat
To bang my fist, then my head, against the wall
Standing in the shower,
Burning hot water,
I look up into the spray
I see myself with lungs full of water
Gasp, pull away, squeeze my eyes shut
Open them again, there’s the silver cord
The link between the main showerhead and the detachable one
The loops glitters
See it hanging around my neck
God, oh, god, why do I see this?
I do not wish for death, I fear it
So why do these visions come to me?

There’s a name for this, all of this
This insanity which is mine
The first word is borderline.
*(Borderline Personality Disorder)
927 · Mar 2016
Pardon My Hormones
Sky Mar 2016
I don’t know
what the future holds
There is no horoscope, no spell, no psychic
to tell me
what to expect
And when I have family members,
whom I’ve trusted and loved my whole life
telling me that
I’m not ready
I take the words to heart
and doubt myself even more
Why would they tell me that?
I’m already anxious enough
And now I just want to cry
Because I don’t know what to try
I know I’m not ready,
I already told you so
But, as usual, you didn’t listen!
You don’t listen to me,
and then you wonder why I won’t listen to you?
And then you look at me and wait for an answer
and I just can’t respond
Because my brain isn’t processing your words fast enough
And my mouth doesn’t want to open
And apparently that means that I agree with you
“Get a job, you’ll learn,”
conversation over and done
But I’m still processing and you’ve just walked away
And I still have nothing to say
Oh, I’m trying my hardest not to cry
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t be a baby
You’re seventeen years old, don’t be a baby-baby-crybaby

And I wonder what you would do if I told you
there was once a time when I just wanted to die
But that “kid” that I’m “wasting my time with”
saved my life, and
He’s fourteen, ******, not thirteen,
and he’ll be fifteen next month
But you clearly don’t care
That my emotions are a wreck
and he is the duct tape holding it all together
so I can survive my senior year
You just see the immaturity, irresponsibility, the “hormones” and the “attitude”
You see a stupid lazy teenager who doesn’t have a drive, just a passion
She has potential, but she refuses to tap into it
except for things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things
And she takes it all for granted: the toys and the trips, the money and the tricks
And she thinks her life is soooooo hard and ***** so bad because she doesn’t have wifi

Shut up,
Stop right there.
I know that there are girls my age who have to get ***** so they can eat breakfast,
I know there are girls who live much worse lives.
I know that I’ve had a pretty cushioney life, oh, I definitely know that

And I’m a spoiled brat who can’t think for herself:

Well, yeah, because no one ever gave me a chance to think!
It’s not my fault I’ve been raised as reliant and dependent,
not my fault I wasn’t taught the skills
You want me to learn it? Then teach me!
Don’t wait for me to ask, because I won’t until it’s too late

No, I don’t know what the future holds,
and I’d rather focus on the now
Because even if you’re right, and I end up in a K-Mart working minimum wage,
at least I’ll be alive
At least I haven’t given up
like so many people my age
At least I never ended up on suicide watch
or stashed mind-numbing drugs under my mattress
or stole a bottle of *****
Just be glad for that right now, please
Just let me live my way.
this is more of a rant than a poem...for a seventeen-year-old, i’m somewhat underdeveloped mentally, and admittedly not ready for college in the fall...but not ready for work, either. and maybe that’s just my anxiety talking, who knows? but, yeah, i’ve been getting a lot of pressure the last couple of months, and just...needed to rant a bit.
913 · May 2016
This Sun-day
Sky May 2016
I spend this sun-day
hiding from the sun
under a comforter
the color of today’s sky
and zebra stripes.
I do not participate.
This morning,
I participated,
as my parents scurried about the grocery store
without me.
I called my father’s mother
and I called my mother’s mother.
I called my soul mate
and remembered
last night, prom night, perfect night.
Then I wasn’t at home alone anymore
and I didn’t want to participate anymore
and I let myself sink into the emptiness.
I deny any and all emotions and accusitions of life.
I am not of this world, in this world,
known to the world or by the world,
I am dust hiding under the bed.
I read a book that is nothing but truth and pain
and listen to music that is pure dark emotion.
I twist my mind into wicked shapes,
and embrace the emptiness that is slowly taking over my soul.
I don’t want to feel,
I don’t want to heal,
I don’t want to be me or anything.
All I think is no longer real.
I can embrace this sickness,
this dark disease of the mind.
I am sick, what is my cure?
I don’t know or care or want it.
Let me bleed, and let me sleep,
but don’t let me die,
even in this state of mind
I would rather just cry.
This is a place where love does not exist,
so I’m sorry, soul mate,
but right now you are gone.
This is a place where voices do not penetrate,
so I’m sorry, Mom and Dad,
but right now I cannot hear you.
This is a place where I keep my phone on silent,
So I’m sorry, cousin dear,
I cannot read your admiration.
This is a place made of nothing.
This is a place where my tears are my water
and my blood is my wine,
I never believed in religion
and I swear I never will.
I am my own savior
and I am failing at my job.
This is a place where I cannot be saved
except by my self, by myself, by mys elf.
This is a place to drown in a hot water bathtub,
blood dripping down my wrists,
but don’t let me die,
I don’t want to die,
I just want to sleep.
I just want to bleed a little bit,
I don’t want to watch my life run down my fingers
and slide down the drain,
This is a place where
everyone who loves me should stay away
because they will get hurt
and I don’t want to hurt them
because I love them too,
but in this place
I love no one
and no one loves me,
so leave me all alone.
This is a place that I don’t tell my love about,
I don’t tell my sister about,
I don’t tell Mom and don’t tell Dad,
don’t tell the grandma with the cats
or the grandma at the lake,
don’t even tell the great grandma who is an older version of me.
This is a place
that makes doctors frown
and boyfriends cry,
that makes my sister slap me upside the head
and tell me to stop listening to depressing music.
This is a place where
I cut so I can feel something,
a place where I just want to see
the sparkling crimson against the paper-pale of my skin.
This is the place where I trace my veins
with my eyes
and have unwelcome visions of opening them.
This is the place where
I see my fears lined up
like a suicide’s pill bottles on the bathroom counter,
ready to jump down my throat
and stop my heart.
This is the place where I feel nothing,
I am a blank sheet of looseleaf
about to be torn into shreds
and scattered along the wet grass
for the birds to use in their nests
and the spiders to hide under.
This is the place where I think I might finally cry,
but somehow my face still stays dry,
and I wonder why I never cry,
I only bleed,
never cry,
never die.
This is a place where
I start to wonder if anyone would notice
if I just stayed here forever,
if they would see the emptiness in my eyes
(oh, my love, would you see the emptiness in my eyes?)
This is a place
I almost wish I could stay in,
because here I cannot feel the pain of emotions,
here nothing matters,
here words cannot penetrate,
here I am a tough scar and not an open wound,
here I am nonexistent
no one cares.

This is a place that I know I should leave
but I dont want to leave
I cannot leave now
I’m just too tired to leave now.

So let me sleep,
and in the morning I’ll be okay,
I’ll leave this place,
and no one will know that I ever left them
so I could sit in the empty darkness
with just my demons for company.

Let me dance with the darkness,
and let me sleep my way back to life.
890 · Jan 2016
Sky Jan 2016
Girl stands all alone
shivering in the cold,
With bones made of ice
and a heart encased in stone.
Who is there to hold her?
Who is there to keep her warm?
Who is there to help her,
to shield her from the storm?
She can taste the ice in the air,
she can feel the frosty blows,
She can take a falling snowflake
and touch it, still cold, to her nose.
She sings out loud in a crystal tone
and screams when the sun shatters it,
She dances on a stretch of thin ice
and dares her feet to break the surface.
Girl falls into the icy pond
and shivers shatter her bones,
So she closes her weary eyes
and sinks down to her home.
Sky Feb 2016
pg. 261

she sat
clear and still
sadness left her
anger overwhelmed
she whispered
She enjoyed the small fragments of pain.

pg. 99

the dustiness of the floor
this would all be for nothing
she would never see her again.
The reality
it stung her
The floor was cold
against her cheek

pg. 143

December Night
the shivering snow
the girl wide awake
she watched
as he slept
“Sleep well”
turn off the light.


his eyes were silver and strained
misery was attached to them
read the depth of sorrow
it was true

pg. 398

making his way through the darkness.
was not peace.

pg. 424*

, please don’t go.”
884 · Mar 2016
Sky Mar 2016
We are the hopeless
We are the lost
We are the ones who fight the hardest
Then fall and drown in our own blood
We are the ones with hearts made of steel
Icy cold and burning hot,
Either way, you can’t melt the part of us
That is dark

You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

When we walk, it is with heavy footsteps
When we talk, it is with
Voices barely there
We are the poor souls
Caught in the landslide
And no one can us scream
“Help me!”
And we give up our last breath and fade
Into the dark

You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

Don’t try to prove to us that there is love
Don’t show us a world that is absent of pain
Don’t try to tell us that we are okay
Don’t you understand,
We can’t take your hand
The darkness is contagious
The darkness is contagious

You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

We feel nothing but this pain
Weighing us down
Tarnishing our souls
Don’t ever try to tell us that we
Are anything but
I wrote another song! It’s weird, because normally I **** at songwriting. I can never come up with a tune. But, like with “Like-Minded Soul”, I already have a basic melody for this, and I’m hoping to build on it.
In case anyone is wondering: my current inspiration is the band Bring Me the Horizon. FANTASTIC band, absolutely incredible. I’ve been listening to a bunch of their songs lately, which is churning my own songwriting gears. :)
878 · Dec 2015
Sky Dec 2015
I was looking up,
gazing up at the stars
from a deep black pit,
almost missing
the rope that came
tumbling into the darkness.
I was startled by the sound
of frayed threads smacking against the wall.
I looked up again,
looking to the top of the hole
but couldn’t make out
the face at the top, silhouetted by the moon.
I wrapped my hands around the rope,
took a deep breath to calm my panicked heartbeat,
and began to climb
out of the maw of darkness.
I climbed up, and up,
my feet slipping on the smooth obsidian walls,
but finally
I reached the top.

I found myself face-to-face
with a pair of eyes, colored like mahogany wood,
like the most decadent chocolate,
and they sat above a sunshine smile that melted away
the icy demons that tried to follow me.
The moon and stars were suddenly swamped
by the bright warmth of the sun,
and color filled the world.
My heartbeat was faster than a mouse’s
as I gazed into those eyes
and I realized
that they belonged to my savior.
I found that I’d lost my voice
after sitting silently in that pit for so long,
so I took my pen from my pocket
and wrote my gratitude on my hand,
“Thank you.”

The smile widened,
and the chocolate eyes were melting in the sunshine,
so beautiful, so captivating.
I suddenly found myself in a warm embrace,
and while I would have normally pulled away,
I stayed in those arms.
I didn’t want to leave,
and I was safe, protected, warm.
I sighed and sank into the warmth,
and my soul suddenly grew,
straining against the cage of my ribs.
I felt the hole in my chest,
I felt it as it was filled,
and then it was empty no more.

The songbirds twittered in my ear,
telling me,
“You found it, you found it! You found the other half of your soul.”
I looked up again,
looked back into those eyes,
and watched the sunshine smile lift again,
provoking a sunbeam to grow on my own lips.
Then the sun rays collided in a kiss,
and a fire sprang to life.
And I knew, I knew
I would never be cold again.
863 · Jan 2016
Sky Jan 2016
Silently thinking about
all things not English
while my classmates discuss
King Lear
I'm just not focused
on insanity and poisonings
and hubris and honor and fate
I'd much rather spill my thoughts
onto this blank white box
Silent musings of all things not English
while my classmates discuss King Lear.
I'm bored in English class... :P
857 · Mar 2016
Sky Mar 2016



This safe little bubble
    is about to
                             P   O   P!

You better watch out,
or the beasties will get you
They’ll dig in their teeth and you’ll
S     C     R     E     A     M

No one, no one, no one can hear you SCREAM!!!!

Isn’t it so sad?
You cry, but no one sees the saltwater sorrow streaking your face
and they just can’t hear the sound of your heart
thudding to a sudden stop
as your body goes numb
Blissful numb, can you stay in the dark?

“No, no, no!”
The voice attacks and digs electric probes into your chest
“Wake up!”
“Wake up!”
“Please, please, please, wake up!”

But I’m in so much pain,
you try to say
Can’t you see this is easier than trying to stay?
Oh, no, I didn’t want to hurt you this way!

Fresh tears f

                       d r i p p i n g   on the floor like the blood just did
Your blood, keeping you warm and alive and feeling and hurting
and you didn’t want to feel anymore
So you forgot that you had a heart and soul
You forgot that you hold so many hearts in your hands
You forgot that someone still cares
You forgot that someone still needs you there
You forgot
how to

The machine breathes for you as you open your eyes
The golden sunlight pokes through the blinds
Highlighting the face of the one who holds you dear
Fast asleep, but face still screaming fear
And you realize why you still live:
You still hold someone’s heart in your hands,
and you must never, ever let it fall
and shatter against the cold concrete
Where chalk lines told you where to jump
Where the neighbor’s dog died after you pulled his crushed body out of the road
Where a fresh first kiss shocked your heart, and more followed after
And where you tried not to cry as you said one more goodbye

How long ago was that, that last goodbye?
Hello and goodbye,
you suddenly start to cry
The sunlight lights up the opening eyes
Of the one you hold dear
The one whose heart you still hold
Oh, you’re so glad
to say hello.

“I’m here.”
this one ended up being pretty emotional...which is how I was feeling when I wrote it. I didn’t originally intend for it to take this direction, but most of my poems end up writing themselves, and that’s what this one did.
i’ve been seeing so many friends online struggling with depression, and feeling worthless because their boyfriend/girlfriend left them or hasn’t talked to them in a while or said something that seems to imply a breakup in the near future, and it makes me so sad to see so many people my age (teenager) struggling so much and already giving up on life when they’ve barely given it a chance. i do know what it’s like to struggle with those feelings, anyone who’s read my poems from the past year and a half knows that. i do understand how it feels to want to give up, to yearn for numbness, darkness, a place free of pain.
but i also know how it feels to find hope again, how it feels to be saved. i know that staying strong is worth the tears and the fears, it’s worth the pain. i dealt with the pain, and i didn’t give up, and as a result i literally bumped into the love of my life. because of him, i have hope again, i have a reason to live that isn’t fear, and i have a brighter future.
so, for those of you who are struggling, for all the people both young and old who are having a hard time finding joy and hope, don’t give up now. keep searching for the light. no matter how dark your world is right now, you can always find light again if you just keep searching. you can’t give up on it, because it could be right in front of you when you least expect it. i know that from first-hand experience. stay strong and live on.
846 · Mar 2015
Sky Mar 2015
Leaves, like butterflies,
dance on the river of wind,
fluttering high.
840 · Jan 2019
Night Demon
Sky Jan 2019
I feel it creeping in
just under my skin;
It comes when
my thoughts are fuzzy
and the sky is dark.
It pulls tears from my eyes
and pours embers into my brain,
it whispers in my ear
and leaves a frozen knife
in my heart.
And it’s not until
I finally close my eyes
that I am safe.
828 · Aug 2015
Sky Aug 2015
My heart was once pure
Made of glistening gold
But when I first faced the demons
That lurk underground
The gold was blackened
Just slightly
And a chunk of gold stolen from my chest.
As I continued to battle the beasts
They kept stealing gold from my glowing heart
And they replaced riches with lead
So that my chest grew heavier
And my heart darkened
Now there is just a smidgen of gold left
And I'm struggling to save it
Struggling to keep my riches
Sky May 2016
Hey, everyone, and to all Star Wars fans: May the 4th be with you! :D
  I hope everyone has a good day, and remember the wise words of Yoda: “You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”  :)
813 · Aug 2018
Ready For Fall
Sky Aug 2018
I’m ready for fall.
I’m ready for
My leather jacket,
which I wear like a second skin;
My fingerless gloves,
somehow both practical and not;
My trusty boots, clomping fearlessly through any weather;
Flannel every day, a timeless pattern;
A bitter breeze balanced by a lemon sun to make the perfect temperature.

I’m ready to watch the leaves turn to flames and dance through the neighborhoods,
I’m ready to smell the cider and pumpkin in every store.
I’m ready to start planning a disguise, to hide from the Hallow’s spirits.

I’m ready for fall,
the best season of all.
805 · Mar 2016
Sky Mar 2016
And, holding you, I forgot
I forgot the secrets of the night,
Dissolving in the morning light
Like dewdrops in the sun
The hidden dark things
vanished from my mind
As your kiss sent me whirling
They left barely even a shadow behind
Holding you, I forgot
That there were ever tears.
803 · Mar 2016
Sky Mar 2016
I just want to put out a little message for everyone who is struggling right now:
You are not worthless. You're not. Even if people are leaving you and you feel alone, you still have friends and family in your life who would care if you disappeared. You may feel like no one would even blink an eye if you were just gone, but you'd be surprised by how big of an impact it can really make. It's like tossing a pebble into a pond. The ripples spread all the way across the surface.
Don't give up on love. Don't give up on friendship. Don't give up on life. There is always hope if you search for it. There is always someone in your life who holds you close to their heart, even if you don't know it.
Keep living, and don't give up now.
789 · Dec 2016
A Girl Fell
Sky Dec 2016
If a girl falls in an empty house
with death rolling through her veins,
does she make a sound?
Does anyone hear the last breath,
has anyone seen her frown?
Who saw the pain that hid behind her eyes,
who saw the darkness within?
Is there anyone who knew
that her happiness flew
far away, far away,
so that the gray
took over?
A girl fell in an empty house,
with death rolling through her veins.
She didn't make a sound,
but the impact was profound
Her absence has hit hearts all around.
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