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1d · 122
Sky 1d
Let me be honest,

My heart is rolling
in my stomach,
and I can't tell
if it's fear or joy.

You surely make me
and I'm not sure what it means.
May 31 · 125
Gathered Dust
Sky May 31
My words have collected dust.

the time was lost,
or perhaps
simply the motivation.

When did this dream fade so fast?

Where did I lose the pen,
spill the ink?

I’m grasping for the tail end
of even a single word,
and here it is:

Dec 2020 · 66
Try To Swim
Sky Dec 2020
I think I’m lost,
I’ve gone too far

I pushed myself
so far below
I can’t see the stars

Only him,
I stare straight at him,
And that’s not
the right thing to do.

I need to swim up
on my own,
I need to save
my only home

We cannot drag
each other down,
and we can’t let
the other drown

I have to find
the strength somewhere
so I can make
the right repairs.
Oct 2020 · 2.1k
Lost Pearls
Sky Oct 2020
I yearn for the days
when I could pull poetry
from my brain
like a string of pearls,
shimmering opal,
so beautiful to all.

Where    have    my    pearls    gone?
Oct 2020 · 369
Sky Oct 2020
Even as I’m moving
I still feel
In the same thoughts,
the same mistakes,
the same
Jul 2020 · 313
Sky Jul 2020
Why are you here
still stuck in my head
when I should have moved on,
and it's been over a year?
Why do I hate you,
when all you did was
Jul 2020 · 89
Sky Jul 2020
I thought
that maybe
I could find
but I'm still so aimless.
Jun 2020 · 93
Sky Jun 2020
You force us to step backwards,
degrading who we are meant to be as

We should be charging forward,
and changing
for the better.

you seem to wish us to be
nothing more than simple
gobbling the foul feces
that is flung our way.
I'm sickened by what's become of the US. Our basic human rights are being stripped over things we cannot control. I hope that November brings the positive change we need.
Feb 2020 · 273
Sky Feb 2020
I’ve been caught
in a bubble of my own creation,
cold and suffocating.
Jan 2020 · 43
His Old Home
Sky Jan 2020
This is a pocket of safety,
a family not quite mine,
a home so different
from my own.

This is a peek into his past,
a life I didn’t know,
a history I can’t imagine
so different from my own.

This is a glimpse
of what the future may hold,
of people I may better know,
an environment that I can call
Jan 2020 · 169
Dragon in the Room
Sky Jan 2020
This isn’t where I wanted to be,
hiding in the other room
on New Year’s.

Hunger and exhaustion
struck war with
defeat and depression
over a bowl of noodles.

And suddenly
it’s the
dragon in the room,
breathing down our backs
and burning us deep.

I wanted to be sinking into
warmth and love,
feeling hope and joy.

Here I sit in cold white light
hearing his voice

how sad it is

I hate that sadness.
I hate when he sounds like
the whole universe is crushing him
in an Iron Maiden of molten metal.

I wish
he would just
take the time
to listen.

New year.
Dec 2019 · 385
At A Loss
Sky Dec 2019
I rarely frequent this place now,
it sits and stares, but remains ignored.
The words don’t come like
they used to do,
They don’t weave the same magic.
Sep 2019 · 286
Sky Sep 2019
I was falling,
then crawling,
fighting to find my way

You materialized,
a lantern in the storm,
Offering warmth and safety

I held your hand
and off we ran
Headlong into insanity

Just for a moment,
I had a feeling
that life would be better,
but instead I was sent reeling.

You’ve been trying to help me,
hoping you’d free me
But I’ve slowly been dying
And I fear nothing can heal me.
Sep 2019 · 544
Sky Sep 2019
I’ve been floating aimlessly
in a dark and icy sea,
waiting, just waiting,
for life to make something
out of me.
Aug 2019 · 146
He Returns
Sky Aug 2019
I know,
I know you’re there.
I know that you’re waiting
to sink your fangs
into my brain
and leave me crying
from the sudden pain.

I know that you’re lurking
right on my shoulder,
claws on my neck
and tongue in my ear.
“Soon, I’ll return.
Soon you’ll be
with me again, my dear.”

I shudder at his embrace,
but it is so familiar
that I cannot help
feeling safe.
Jul 2019 · 745
Sky Jul 2019
everything falls right into place
with you.
Jul 2019 · 381
Sky Jul 2019
I shouldn’t miss you this much.
I shouldn’t miss
our car rides,
your music,
the conversation.
I shouldn’t miss your company,
even when rain clouds lingered.
I shouldn’t miss you
for hurting me this way.
You knew it would hurt me
and you did it anyway.
I should be furious,
screaming in rage,

but I miss you.
A friend decided to cut me out of his life so that he wouldn’t hurt me, but that hurts me more than anything else could.
Jul 2019 · 405
Sky Jul 2019
You don’t need a love poem
because I can speak freely
to you.
Jul 2019 · 356
Soft You
Sky Jul 2019
I love to trace
the line of freckles
on your face

Your eyes
are so full
of life,
your smile
so true.

Your kiss
fills me
with warmth,
your hands
so gentle
my waist.

You are
a great perfection,
and I love you more
than I’ve ever known.
Jul 2019 · 110
Sky Jul 2019
Why is this all so

I don’t belong
in this backyard
among their joy.

I lost my home,
but I never
had it.

There is a person
He is home,
more than
Jul 2019 · 108
Sky Jul 2019
Where is my home?
A year later,
the answer
is still

I skip over
the days,
always running away
from the end.

This house fits
like an old, hole-ridden glove,
uncomfortable but soft.

I need space,
but cannot stand
the emptiness.

But with him,
there is no silence.

There is sound
all around him,
and every touch
feels safe.

I want to leave
this house behind,
but I am scared.
I do not belong,
even tonight they want me to.

But I cannot breathe
in this little green house,
and I cannot grow.
This family is not really mine.

Who is?
He is.
Jul 2019 · 172
Sky Jul 2019

shining and tossing
time away

Taking my breath

Every time
I look up,

My time
Jun 2019 · 110
Book, Sunshine, Headphones
Sky Jun 2019
It’s here,
caught in these words I’ve read
so many times,
with a familiar voice in my ears
and warmth on my face
That I really feel like

Jun 2019 · 138
Sky Jun 2019
In your eyes
lies safe haven,
real promises,
and genuine affection.
Jun 2019 · 187
Sky Jun 2019
He lies awake at night,
heart full of memories
and eyes full of tears.
Grief has taken his dreams away.
Jun 2019 · 90
New Life For Old Words
Sky Jun 2019
All the poems I have written
for those who sat in my heart,
they linger here now
as painful memories.

You are here
to give them new life,
and they have never felt
more true.
Jun 2019 · 216
Her Shadow is Not Me
Sky Jun 2019
I know that you’re angry
about what she did,
but attacking me for
her decisions
will only drive me away.

I know you don’t understand
how someone could hide
behind a false family,
but we weren’t false.
We were just safe.

She decided to take a risk for love,
and now she’s happy,
and I am proud.
My mom met a woman and came out as a lesbian, resulting in a divorce and an angry grandmother. I’m proud of my mom, but my dad’s mom is furious about it even three years later and keeps lecturing me that if I’m going to come out as gay I better not do it after I already marry a man. I don’t think she understands that my mom really did love my dad, it just wasn’t the same as she could have felt for a woman.
Jun 2019 · 429
Sky Jun 2019
I once sat
in the middle
of an infinite ocean,
struggling to breathe
and desperately awaiting rescue.

And then,
there you were.
Life pulled me through
pain and solitude
just to bring me
to you.

You approach,
and in your wake lies
a path to the future.
Jun 2019 · 552
Dark Circle
Sky Jun 2019
I know that I am good,
that I am a lightly colored soul,

But sometimes I feel the darkness
welling up inside—
I force it onto myself
so that I don’t hurt anyone else.
Jun 2019 · 294
Sky Jun 2019
come over me,
wash into me
To take me away
from this madness
Jun 2019 · 201
Sky Jun 2019
My reality
is cracking
at the corners
And I’m leaking in all the wrong places
Jun 2019 · 154
Late Melancholy
Sky Jun 2019
There’s a lot of emotion
hiding here
that no one is aware of —
there’s so much heartache, so much pain,
that makes me feel every decision was made in vain.

I’m so tired
of the past,
of things I’d rather just forget.
I’m choking on memories
and drowning in nostalgia.
May 2019 · 153
Sky May 2019
These bits of hope
are dimming more and more,
but maybe this one will stay bright.
May 2019 · 93
Living Ghosts
Sky May 2019
There’s a lot of heartache here,
so much that I feel like
I should leave a little note
Every time I show someone
this page.
I’ve been trying too hard
to find someone,
and that has led me down
a frustrating path.

I’ve got ghosts that aren’t really dead.
Apr 2019 · 107
Let Me Be Okay
Sky Apr 2019
are you still there?
Or have you run away
like all the others?

I’m feeling pretty bad today,
I just wanna say that
I wish everything would disappear
so I can stop feeling so gray.

It feels like this time of year
is just the worst for me
even though it’s supposed to be
happy and bright
My soul feels black as night
and I can’t take it anymore
I can’t bear this anymore
I wish I could fly away
I wish that you could stay
but who even are you?
I’m speaking to a ghost,
to someone I wish could be real
Someone to hold me tight and
remind that things will be okay...
How can anything be okay?

Everything is back to how it used to be.
Everything is a mess, a shamble, a waste of time,
It feels like this year didn’t really go by at all
I still feel exactly the same
How can I still feel this way
I was supposed to be better, supposed to get better,
Everything is supposed to be better now!

It’s hard to believe in change
when my failures stay the same.
And no one seems to see
just how much I’m struggling...
I just want everything to be okay.
Apr 2019 · 173
Sky Apr 2019
I’m on the fine gray line
between the living
and the divine.
Mar 2019 · 310
Sky Mar 2019
I won’t let you see
how much it really hurts
to have lost you
without really losing you.

This wound will bleed for a while.
Mar 2019 · 611
Sky Mar 2019
Our bathroom wall,
light blue with a glitter topcoat,
looks gaudy and childish
in the daytime.

At night, by the glow
of a small nightlight,
my eyes blurry with sleep,
it looks as though
a piece of the night sky
has materialized before me.
Mar 2019 · 262
The Devil and The Lover
Sky Mar 2019
My darling,
my love,
my moon and my stars,

I want you to know
about the little devil
living in my brain.

You haven’t really met her yet,
she’s quite vile and cruel,
and I hate what she makes me do.

You see her in my anxiety,
when I text you far too much,
or call so late at night.

But you haven’t yet seen her
in my depression,
here in my darkest times.

She makes me want to cry,
she makes me want to die.
She tells me that
you don’t love me,
She tells me that you will fly
away and leave me
to my torment.
She tells me that I’m
stupid and ugly and useless,
horrible and selfish and sad.
She tells me to hurt myself,
that I’ll feel better once I bleed.

She tells me that everything
would be so much easier
if I just gave up
and drew my last breath.

She tells me terrible things,
and sometimes,
I believe her.

But now you’re here.
You’re the voice of reason,
my reminder that I’m
not a waste a space.
You muffle her whispers
with your warmth.

So, yes, she’s still here,
and she’ll still fight
to make me quit.

But I know
I can keep fighting back
for you.
Feb 2019 · 493
Sky Feb 2019
For months I have lived
in a house without a home,
surviving as a shell.

With you I find
a home again,
not a place,
but a person
filled with love.
Feb 2019 · 155
Sky Feb 2019
You help me feel
like I can really
live again,
like I can be human.

I’m not a ghost,
for you have made me
Feb 2019 · 1.2k
Sky Feb 2019
Sleeping is easier
because I fall asleep with your words in my head,
and know that I’ll see you in the morning.
Feb 2019 · 1.1k
Sky Feb 2019
Everything feels natural around you;
You don’t push me to an edge
before I’m ready to leap.
We’ll jump together
when the time comes,
but until then
we enjoy this lovely stroll.
Jan 2019 · 206
Sky Jan 2019
There’s a warmth
slowly building
deep in my heart.
Every time I look at you,
every time we touch,
I feel it,
so close to becoming
a flame.
Jan 2019 · 193
Sky Jan 2019
You give me hope,
but it’s hard to hold on to that
when everyone else
blew it out
even after promising
to protect its flame.
Jan 2019 · 559
Sky Jan 2019
Sometimes I want to delete
the poems I wrote when I was
full of romance.
But that would be cruel,
to erase beautiful words
simply out of anger.
So I leave them where they are.
Jan 2019 · 984
Sky Jan 2019
I didn’t realize
that the door was closing
until it slammed in my face
and left me sitting in cold silence.
Jan 2019 · 243
Sky Jan 2019
Nights like this are a curse.
Jan 2019 · 129
Sky Jan 2019
The tide has crashed
over my head—

I had my back turned,
I thought I was safe
but I was wrong.

I’m drowning,
unsure of which way is up.

Everything is hitting me
all at once.

I was fine an hour ago.
I was fine.
I was.

But the tide doesn’t care.
Jan 2019 · 136
1:19 am
Sky Jan 2019
Moonlight shimmering
on the diamond snow

Lamplight piercing
a teardrop

A chest buzzing with
emotions unknown

I cannot close my eyes
for I am stuck here

I can’t focus, I can’t think,
I can’t hear anything over

The ringing in my ears—
when did that start?

I just want to sleep but
there’s too much noise

In the silence of post midnight
as I lie alone with emptiness

Filling my soul and numbing
my heart again, no, why

Must this happen now when
I need to be strong for

The future and the now and
the hope of better things

I inhale stale breath and
exhale false dreams

I lie in a nest of sorrow
and the feathers of broken wings

I would love to try and fly
but the world holds me back

So I lie here trapped under
Plath’s bell jar, suffocating

Let me breathe, let me love,
let me be warm again

I can’t hold on to anything

Everyone keeps running away,
leaving me to suffer—

No wonder I’m so scared
of being left behind

Where am I even going?
I can’t see my future

I can’t remember my past,
everything is different now.

1:19 am.
I should be sleeping but instead
I’m letting the words fly out
of my head.
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