I've been through the struggle!
have you?

I remember going days without food,and water

I remember going in and out of shelters, sleeping here and there

I remember having to ask and barrow money from people just to eat

I remember getting put out of a place I called home

I remember crying and praying for better days to come

I remember wearing the same clothes and shoes

I remember that deep fear that I had when I knew we were going to be homeless

I remember family/blood turning their backs on me

I remember dropping out of school because I didn't have the energy, support & motivation to learn....

I know the struggle
please believe me
because today I am still in the same struggle I remember.

I don't want to love you anymore
but it seems like every time you walk out of that door a part of me has just been stolen, burned, crushed and broken, I don't think its possible to love somebody as much as I love you
what am I supposed to do
when my hart ache for you and only you?
what have you done to me?
why can't I stop loving you?
im sooo ready to move on
I try and I try but loving you is a unbelievable high.

They Say loving you is wrong
but wrong to me feels right,
im in love with your kisses and how you hold me at night,
im not supposed to love you but your the only person I like, emotionally,sexually & physically you fit just right your the reason I stopped crying over the bs at night, you held me in your arms and told me it was alright, you was by my side when I gave up on life because I couldn't take the pressure by standing up for my rights to love the same ***
they say be yourself, be happy and free, but how can I do that when a sin is all they see, I love you, im in love with you no matter what we can share the same love with our middle fingers up....

He's Not a MAN!
I tell myself
a MAN wouldn't beat you,
a MAN wouldn't hurt you,
a MAN wouldn't make you feel less of a woman,
a MAN would never put you on the street's and make your seal your body,
a MAN wouldn't threaten to **** you
a MAN wouldn't let you cry for days
a MAN wouldn't keep you from your family,
a MAN wouldn't try to break you down, drug you up, and ******* around.
NOPE A MAN WOULD NEVER DO THOSE THINGS! BUT A COWARD WILL.

I think I've had enough of life,
The life I live isn't worth a fight, if I die today that would be alright
Because I've had enough of life,
im an angry creature filled with hate, the worst things in life I can not escape, the worst to come is never late, this life I live I've tried to take but everyone say I made a mistake....ha....
I think I've had enough of life
everything is wrong nothing is right
I guess I'll never know what a normal life feels like,
but that's alright **** life.

I know a girl she's
Tired
And she's afraid
Nobody understand her anyway,
She's hurting inside and crying out
somebody please wipe her tears
She's torn into pieces
stitch her back together
make her a coat for this cold and stormy weather,
she's a beautiful girl but she don't know it, she see herself as ugly and believe she knows it

She's always the second choice
She feels unloved
She's depressed
she want to fly like a bird  
She's a really nice girl
she just want to be free I know this girl because this girl is me.

I wake up in the morning and I ask myself Is life worth living should I blast myself Don't even wanna get out the bed I got the glock to my head feel I'd rather be dead And am I hopeless, raised with rats and roaches Never liked the teachers, couldn't stand my coaches, Ask what's the matter but you can't relate Living a life that you hate but you can't escape Feel like I'm stuck here That's why I don't give a **** here There's no luck here, nobody to trust here My own mother yeah I love her but things I heard as a child under my covers Left me with scars it was hard to see her suffer Ducking my heart and I don't know if I'll recover I'm going under and as I'm headed out the front door She say she proud of me and I wonder what for And once more.....

she was a young girl in this cruel cold world all she ever dreamed about was diamonds and pearls, She met a man he was great just for a week then when she was comfortable he put her on the street, told her to make his money so both of em could eat, she was scared so she did it hoping he would see that a girl like her didn't belong on the street's. She was wife material she had all these big dreams, sooner or later her dreams would fade, after all those nights of being on the street
she was sick
she was tired
she was lost
she was beat.
Hurting inside but nobody could see she faked a smile but her pain ran deep, she was done with the streets she was ready to leave but he put his 40 to her face and told her if she leave he'd pull the trigger and watch her bleed....................

She paints a pretty picture but the story has a twist her paint brush is her razor and her canvas is her wrist.
She Paints a pretty picture
In a color thats blood red
While using her sharp paint brush, she finally ends up dead.
Her pretty pictures fading quite slowly on her arm,
The bloods not racing through her she can no longer do harm.
She Painted a Pretty Picture
but her picture had a twist you see her mind was her razor and her heart was her wrist.

Remember once the things you told me And how the tears ran from my eyes
They didn't fall because it hurt me
I just hate to see you cry
Sometimes I wish we could be strangers So I didn't have to know your pain
But if I kept myself from danger This emptiness would feel the same
I ain't no angel I never was
But I never hurt you It's not my fault You see those egg shells, they're broken up A million pieces, strung out across the ground Did you ever really love her Or was it that you feared letting go
You should have known that you could trust her But you pretend like I don't know
I ain't no angel I never was But I never hurt you It's not my fault You see those egg shells, they're broken up A million pieces, strung out across the ground I want to tell you that I'm sorry But that's not for me to say
You can have my heart, my soul, my body If you can promise not to go away
I ain't no angel I never was But I never hurt you It's not my fault You see those egg shells, they're broken up A million pieces, strung out across the ground

Love Me Back
if you can
I promise to hold your hand through thick and thin,

Love Me Back
if you can
find some love in your heart for me again

Love Me Back
if you can
I just wanna be happy
with you again

Love Me Back
if you can
please don't let go of my hand

Love Me Back
Don't Walk away
I love you more and more everyday!

Love Me Back
my heart will break if you say your heart dont feel the same

Love Me Back
please dont go
your the only one I love
I just wanted you to know

incase the road gets tough
and your legs can no longer walk
and your hands can no longer hold on
and your mouth can no longer speak
and your heart skips a beat I'll always be there with an extra arm and some new feet. I love you always

what is a child to do? when he/she
is on their own
No place to call home
No one to tell them their strong
No one to tell them that their not alone,

What is a child to do?
when their told to keep a secret
and if they tell mommy would get heated,

What is a child to do?
when they don't know who to trust
when mommy and daddy fuss

What is a child to do?
when they are being bullied
and told what they should and shouldn't be,

what is a child to do?
when they are alone at night and suicidal thoughts flood their mind, and cuts burn like fire and drugs can no longer get them higher,

what is a child to do??????????

As i lay on this floor
Heart pounding
**** throbbing
Skin wet
Eyes closed
Legs shaking
Lip biting
Carpet clutching,
Toes curled
All i can think about is you
touch me
you're standing overtop of me with just you're boxer's on
Hair pulled into a ponytail
And a cup of red wine in you're left hand,
Your eyes are looking deep into mine
You have a look on your face like you know i want you inside of me i wanna feel you deep in me, i want you to get lost in this ocean,
So baby pull out your surfboard and jump, the waves are cuming so catch every one
Don't stop until you touch the ocean floor,
"Touch me"! im yelling in my head
You drop to your nees i
I finally feel you're surf deep in me
The touch of your soft skin rubbing mine feel like a unbelievable high,
You look deep in my eyes i feel you
I love you and then we cry.
The end

Why am I this weird girl
that nobody likes?

Why is everything always my fault?

Why do I f**k up everything I do?

Why do my life seem like ****t?

Why can't I be happy?

Why am I always depressed?

why can't everybody love me as much as I love them?

Why am I so stupid

WHY???

I really need to know what I am doing wrong because right now nothing is right........

sometimes giving up
feels like my only option...

I run to drugs
its the only thing that can hide the pain inside me....

In the bathroom OD
there is nobody around me...

Hating myself because everybody seems perfect around me, lots of money, nice bodys & flawless smiling...

I'd be lying if I said I was happy.......to be continued

I hate this
I just wanna give up
but then I don't
some days I feel like im ready for death
then come days when I feel like I wanna live forever
I Really really do hate my life and I hate myself im not ******* happy I've had happy days but nothing big ughhhhh im super lost!

He Said he would take care of me
I simply believed him

he said he would buy me what ever i
wanted
so I did what I had to do to get it

He told me to trust him and that he would never hurt me
so I stupidly believed him

He told me he was the only 1 who loved me and that nobody loved me like he did
so I trusted his word

Not knowing he would Break me
and hurt me and do what he did,  he left me out in the cold and told me I wasn't **** but a good hit!!!!