You say she's awful
That she doesn't care
You don't know
How easy we talk
And converse about my life
Her name is Ana,
She's no demon
She's my friend,
And she cares more about me
Than anyone ever will
She tells me the truth
No matter how much it hurts
People lie to me,
She refuses to stoop that low
She helps make me perfect
Beautiful
Happy
Smart
Lovable
Worth something
And so much more
If it wasn't for her
I'd still be
Lying in bed
Blabbing on the phone
Or spending all day with people
She taught me who they were
That people weren't what they seemed
That no-one really cared
No-one but her
I would rebel,
Thinking I could handle life
Without her help
I quickly came back
Realizing I was wrong
She took me back in,
And punished me
For ******* up
Saying it was for my own good
She tells me when I lack hope
And when I'm being a ***
What I need to do
To get the guy across the room
To look in my direction
And how to grab
Some masculine attention
To you,
She seems like a *****
But you don't know her like I do
She's really rather nice

i told my therapist about you,
while your lips were still slathered alllll over my body.
i showed her the places we had been,
and all the things we had seen.
i told her what lies underneath that pretty
                                              pretty
skin of yours,
and i told her how i knew.
i spelt out your name as she scribbled it on her cute little clipboard,
i told her about the   first     night
and the      second
and the   fourth
and that time in the closet.
i told her everything,
i really just wanted to   get
                                                  you
                                      out  
of my brain,
it didn't matter if saying these things put me in  sososo  much pain.
because you've  moved   on  so why can't i?
i told my therapist about you,
but i still can't tell you
                                           goodbye.  
i know i'm  s t u p i d,
for holding on this l
                               o
                                n
                             ­    g,
i know it's useless,
for wishing you weren't                              gone.
but my words carry on like a heartbeat
s     l      o      w
steady
                          fast
u   s   e   d
  n    t   a   y
i   keep   keep   keep  breaking and breaking and breaking and
i told my therapist about you.

My mind is a battleground
I fight all day and all night
            this is your own fault
My body shows my battlewounds
Scars and bones and scratches
            you did this to yourself
I need to eat
   but you can't
It's just food
      but it's not
My minds thin
         but you're fat
This is breaking me
            I'll fix it for you
I'm going too far
               you're not far enough
I need to turn back
                  that's not an option
Release me
                     not happening
I've gone too far
                        push it a little further
I can't
I            can't
I                           can't
I                                                can't
I                                                                    can't



                                                                           *I think you've gone too far

The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.

one, two
buckle your shoes

three four,
open the doors

five, six
seven more tricks

nine and ten,
writing in pen

eleven, twelve,
don't hurt yourself

thirteen, fourteen
fifteen years

sixteen, seventeen
eighteen pills

nineteen, twenty
and thirty will ****


I promise, sweetheart,
you'll be beautiful

so come on sing with me:

one, two,
three more pounds


a couple more,
you’ll be **safe
and sound

I've seen this girl named Ana, she's pretty thin and tall, she has the smallest frame and not a single flaw.
I've met this girl named Ana, she introduced herself today. She seems so very nice and kind, she says she wants to stay.
I know this girl named Ana, she's so perfect and its true, I'm so fat compared to her, but shell make me skinny too.
I'm friends with this girl named Ana, I've started eating less, hating the person in the mirror, my lifes become a mess.
My bestfriend is this girl named Ana, I want her to always stay. All my other friends have left but she will never stray.
The only one I listen too is Ana, she's so mart and full of advice, I'm starting to get smaller. My health is my only sacrifice.
I'm scared of this girl named Ana, I can't get her out of my head. It finally accured to me, she wants me dead.
I hate this girl named Ana, she makes my life a living hell. Someone please hear my silent screams, cause she won't let me tell.
My worst enemy is this girl named Ana, she's a demon in my head, she seemed so nice at first but I was definately mislead.
I'm a prisonner to this girl named Ana, I'm captive to her will, I can't help to do what she says, how can I be so fat, still ?
My murderer is this girl named Ana, she starved me to my grave. My heart finally stopped beating, I just couldn't continue being brave..

"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

You cut yourself and you don’t even feel how it hurts anymore.
You cut yourself and you don’t have control over your life
You cut yourself and you don’t have anyone who cares.
You cut yourself and you don’t need anyone's help.
You cut yourself and you don’t ever bleed.
You cut yourself and you don’t…
You cut yourself and you…
You cut yourself and…
You cut yourself…
You cut…
You.
That’s right, it’s about you.
It’s always about you.
When will it stop being about you?
You’re so selfish.
No one loves you.
How could they?
You can’t even love yourself.
What’s there to love?
You’re such a **** person and you know it.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Screams bounce off the walls. Spit flying from your mouth as you cry out the frustrations.
Only you can hear you and people only pretend to understand what you’re saying, but they’re just as deaf as you are blind.
You’re all alone; and you like it.
It’s your very own personal insane asylum, and everyone is looking at you safely shielding themselves behind glass walls.
You hate it but you need it. You want to escape but not enough to break down the mental barriers you’ve put up.
You are your own enemy and you're kicking your ***.
You’re a burden not worth saving.
Just stay in your room. Stay in your pile of insanity.
Keep everyone safe from yourself.
And one day, hopefully, the void will swallow you whole and it’ll be like you were never here.
You cut yourself because you’re afraid and shaking.
You cut yourself because you don’t want to be weak.
You cut yourself because you don’t feel like enough.
You cut yourself because you feel like a scared child.
You cut yourself and you’re searching for a reason why.
You cut yourself and none of the answers make sense to you.
You cut yourself. And it's always about you.

People always talk about being a perfect match
But nobody ever talks about how abruptly matches burn out