You’re Satan’s lover
You have to be because I️ haven’t met anyone as evil as you
I️ stumbled upon you
It’s the one regret I️ will always have
Because you sneaked your way in
And you clutched tight
Worn down but I still fought
And tried to rip you off
But your lies made sense in my mind
And for a while I️ let you stay
But you hurt me again
Then whispered in my ear another time
And for a while I️ let you stay
Because I️ once thought of you as mine
Now I️ want you to be ****** to hell
And I️ want to be the one to do it
I’ve waited so long for my freedom
And now I️ have it
But I️ no longer seek to be free
I’m too broken from rescuing myself
My hands tattered and ******
Eyes wet with tears
Lips scowled in pure rage
My mind blank with nothing but the thought of your face
******
Bruised
Scarred
And your mind
Broken
Your pride
Destroyed
Your voice
Gone
Your fear
At an all time high
I️ wanted you to feel the same way I️ did so bad
But now that I’ve done it
I️ realized that this is my greatest accomplishment in life
And I️ have nothing left to look at
But  to think of myself
As a wilted flower

and watch over the woman
who will be my wife, wherever she is

surround her with good people
who will not harm her

give her comfort in moments of sadness
until my arms can do the same

clothe her with peace
until she can hear my voice

and if she be pricked by the ebon briar
of darkness, then light her path toward me

and give me enough days and
strength of step to cross her path

then may I speak words with depth
that cause her to see who You created

When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again

I was supposed to write this out like a journal entry but it ended up being more like a poem

I feel stupid for loving someone who doesn’t give a **** about me
And I’ve spent four, almost five years loving him even when I couldn’t love myself
And for that, I feel dumb
I feel dumb for waiting on something that will never come
And I feel especially dumb for those times I believed all those sweet nothings you murmured in my ear
Dumb for my heart soaring at the text messages you would send m
Dumb for thinking the impossible
The inevitable
Dumb for believing you were the one
Sad because I still love you
And that will never change
But one day I will move on
And somehow I’ll forget your name
And it might hurt too much to even go back through time in my brain
And think about how close we once used to be
And all the things we said
Because those things no longer matter
When you can’t say to me anymore
It’s as if those words fade
And they no longer mean anything to you or me
But I’m stuck here loving you
Stuck here in alternating universe where you love me too

A witness to the ****** of my best friends heart
He was her first everything
And he tore her apart
It was terrorizing to see her cry
I wanted to help but what do you say
When the person who was your everything
Suddenly disappears one day
What do I say
When her tears don’t stop
And what do I say
When her eyes aren’t filled with the love she once felt
How do I tell her that one day another love will come
And although he will be new he won’t compare to the one who made your heart soar
And your knees lock
Or your brain fuzzy with the thought of just seeing him
As if it’s the first time all over again
You search for love but cry at the thought of having to share all your secrets
And the things that make you cringe
It hurts having to share that
All over again

I'm scared of the future
And how I'll be
Fragile
Depressed
Filled with anxiety
Will I have a handle on my life
Or will the wheels fall off?
And I'm left to die
Will my feelings for change
Do they remain?
Does love exists in my dictionary
Or is it replaced with hate?
Do I see clearly?
Or is it all a blur?
Do my friends stick by me?
Do I sit in the house alone?
Do I grow old and forget my nae?
Or does the noose come to claim me?
Am I happy or sad?
Do I have kids?
Am I lost in my imaginations
Or living them instead?