I’ve thought a little you see
And In no way am I scared of thee
I’m ready to be redefined and redefine what everything could be
I feel a dragon burning from my depths
Warming my soul for the ice ahead
Preparing this shell to be no longer a home
Like a catipilar from a cocoon
I will fly like a butterfly
But with a rage of this dragon
No home with or without
Yet stronger and mightier than a stout
A brewery of blood and wise
To help see through all who disguise
© Jessica Stull

Yeah I’m a bit insane
A bit off line
Walking a line
Trying to keep steady and feet heavy
But **** you make it hard to understand
I’m not choosing
So if you make me, then you’ll lose
Not some **** “duck,duck, goose”
Is it too much to ask or to beg?
Actually I got another better way to say
I’ll work and I’ll fight for everything I want and can’t have
To not live, to aim, to please
I will aim to cease
Any name whom shall try to cut me
Go ahead, take a blow at me
See my feet still heavy?
No, actually I love me
Just like you
You look in the mirror who else you gonna run to
Too many demons you gravitate to?
Okay now jump the tracks, I want my life back.
“F*k” you, where the love at?
©Jessica Stull

How many times will this wheel spin
Create the weave alike to cave in
You shoulda known I’d be filled out, made to be put out, sought out
I shoulda known to practice a reserved attitude
Reckless in approach
And at this point
I’m playing with the fire
It’s dying like a roach
Through with this burning ****
When you ain’t even worth a spit
I gotta call it quits
I don’t take or put up fits
I just do it for the kicks
Kick in the ice and freeze © Jessica Stull

What are words if not to tell the lengths of emotions
To reach far from the horizons of dried tears
Swim past the seas of breaking hearts so to speak
You’ll soon forget that life is like a tree, a leaf
You grow around your wounds, not like a dog
Who licks and cry’s, eyes set to seek out pity
Far from pride, is where we hide, we stand tall
With roots planted firmly below
What is words, to speak, to harm, to love, to understand
Words of a tree that give life without cause to end
This is what I seek to adhere to in the end
© Jessica Stull

Poetry is like my diary
I can tell her anything and everything
I can scream from my soul
In aching longing
Intense rage
Or sadness beyond measure
Perhaps it’s TMI
But I tell her my secrets
I tell her how you taste in my mouth
How you took the time to figure me out
How I love the feel of our own rhythm of life
Indeed no one else understands but who cares
My poetry, my diary, my life
It’s messy as hell

Weakness of the heart
Weakness of the mind,body,and soul
You’ve experienced all these things
Growing from this isn’t always so easy
But you’re learning to be stronger in your fight for sanity
“If there even really is such a thing”
Because it’s the things you let get you down, that’ll break you
Let them make you
The things that set you apart
They more so bring you together
I know you’ve had too many bad days to count
But starting now
I’m cursing them all out
To allow yourself to be destroyed by your own mind is the weakest fall and the worst lie
You are strong, and you are beautiful
You have such blessed days that mean far  more than the days you may fall  
Not every day will be a win
But you’ll  never lose again
©Jessica Stull

It’s okay, I’ve closed the door
It’s okay, we don’t talk anymore
It’s fine, I’ve already walked down the line
It’s fine, the days grow warmer in my mind
I’m stronger living through it rather than wishing for it
I can’t always forgive nor can I forget, I’m not some stringed up puppet, I’ve been turned into the neglected pet
So weak I crumbled at your feet and wept from your deceit
But I’ve been saved and I’ve been freed; no longer do these chains bind me
It’s life, the way of it, the shape of it, the pain, and the pleasure of it
Calling out my name doesn’t mean I’ll come back running to you all the same
The leash I used to wear so proudly for you, has finally rotten in the decaying love I have for you
I’ve just learned to let go of you in the only way I know how to
I live beautifully through
Running and jumping freeing my heart like dandinions in the wind
I’m in love with this  life that’s tragic, beautiful, and insane.
But perhaps the most amazing part is that I’ve finally found love for myself, through all my art
And I’m so happy to be living in this unexplainable and unpredictable world
I smile through my tears because I finally know I really do have friends here
And finally I truly realize that it’s me
That’s the key!
You have to love yourself before you can love and find love in this crazy world
©Jessica Stull

I’ll never start a fight
Indeed you start the flame,
And I’ll explode
Perhaps it’s my crimson hair that attack’s my soul
But stereotypical propaganda aside
I have nothing to hide
Indeed you call me out
I’ll trash your name
I live for love and peace
But there’s only so much hate one woman can’t escape
I beg for release
And pity your air
You walk with your noise so high
All just to hide your shame inside
All while making me look the fool
But I refuse to take blame for something I didn’t do  
I’ll never start a fight, it’s beneath me
But I will finish it
And sometimes it’s in the unlikeliest of ways
But the best part is really just not caring what the hell you say
Your words rot and decay like ash to the wind
I like to blow them and spit fire, it’s just the way I am
I don’t take any kinda mess or fuss
It’s beneath me

©Jessica Stull