when it happened it was a surprise
like opening a birthday gift
from someone who didn't know you well

you're only grateful
when the moment is over

but the moment never died

for some reason
it eats where I eat
sleeps where I sleep
hides where I hide

it has taken over

he had no right to get close
to trap me in a single moment

if I was a sun
then I am not anymore
because his touch burned me
somethings shouldn't be ignored

Those who write for love
Have felt pain
The road was rough
And they'll never be the same
They write metaphors
Comparing their love to a bird

But I am where they were before
Trapped by ghosts
Comparing my sorrows to outer space
Deep and expanding

I am not writing for love
I am writing for those
Who are trapped by ghosts
From a past that's hard to escape

If you can’t feel anything
You’ll never hurt
If you go on a trip
You don’t have to come back
I know I speak nonsense
Improbable things
Make your meals
Eat your money
Then repeat
Until the ending
They say go to bed on time
Because time is not my own
I have no control
One tear resting
On my piano alone
What if I died?
Who really cares?
These questions
Whispered at night
It’s me who does this
I’m self aware
What is poetic?
This is not what this was supposed to be
These are midnight thoughts
Thanks for listening?


Missed you all
It’s been a minute
Life moved on
I came back
Because I missed u in it

I think a lonely night is made by you
Leave my high and dry
No consequence finds you
A whirlwind of questions
Why put my love in one place?
Where’s my green light to go?
Can’t you hold on to what’s enough?
Leave tonight or leave forever
Pick a fight or work together
My lover is not kind
And I refuse to be clever

-J.R

I am a possessive creature
I am held together by passion
Fear me when I am mad
Love me when I am motivated
I am a jealous creature
I will love you to the moon and back
Break me and I will be vengeful
Kiss me but touch no other
Not one stroke
Not one glance
I want my name tattooed on your heart
Because yours is burned in my brain
I am a possessive creature but so are you

-J.R

Oh mirror
I believe you were made to taunt me
Few see beauty and peace
Most see something they can never be
Wanting is a burden
Having is a crime
What do I say to that?
Just give me some time
Paralyzed I stare
Oh mirrored me
Talk to me sweetly
Tell me
"wear and tear is normal
just confide in those who cry deeply"
I sigh alone fractured by despair
I walk outside
and I see mirrors everywhere

-J.R

I only know how to walk with tears
To learn something else is my biggest fear
The slamming of doors is all I hear
Stories of heroes but none come here
Will anyone care when I can’t breathe air
Or will they stare and watch as the end is near
I only know how to walk with tears
Because life is maze made of fear

-J.R

Control me
With my emotions
Control me
With my dreams
Control me
Because you can
Control me
And cause me to bleed

My life is not my own
Because you sit on the throne
But once you turn around
My strength will be so keen
You’ll want to take back
The times you controlled me

Control me
And watch as I succeed
Of making you think
That you once controlled me

-J.R

I feel like the shattered glass in my hair
A million little pieces wondering nowhere
Before just a fracture
Waiting in complete despair
Is now a mess
Once no one dared to care
Now they surround with fear
Trying not to step on the glass that is everywhere
Do my haunted eyes tell them
How it is I feel?
Or do they compare me to before?
Before the mess
Before the haunted eyes
Do they see me through shattered glass?

-J.R

Why did you have to attack me
When I was in the dark?
Was it because you were running
And I was who you found?
But you know me
You love me
But now I’m crying
Trying to understand
Why you didn’t see me as your friend
Why did I have to be broken
By your own hand?
I am blind when it comes to love
And who is there to defend me?
No One

-J.R

Sometimes I spend the night in a different room
Not because I feel alone
But because I don't want to be consumed
By the same emptiness of the night
My mind must not wander in it
Or I will surrender to it
Others have done it before
I will make sure not to walk through that door
Madness will call me
No choice but to go with it
So I leave my room
So it won't find me in it

-J.R

My sadness is bright
I see it so clear
Blinding me in sight
It’s cruel way to let me know it’s here
How can I stop it?
I am only made of fear
Finding strength
Knowing there is none near

-J.R

I find myself in a dark place
It falls quiet
Surrounding me with its silence
Waiting for my surrender
To be one with the dark
If I am still
I won’t be noticed?
If I just don’t move I’ll have one more moment to remember

Remember when my parents took me to the park
Remember when my siblings hugging me
Remember! Just Remember!

Remember that love that was given to you
And could never be taken away
Because you will not surrender it
It will make a path
Breaking the surrounding darkness
And all you will hear is the beautiful light that you remember

-J.R